MovieBytes Interview:
Screenwriter Mark Birkelien

An interview with screenwriter Mark Birkelien regarding the Spec Scriptacular Writing Competition.

A: It’s a spec script for Malcolm in the Middle entitled, CHRISTMAS LITTER BOX. Hal and the boys set up a Christmas garden and Grandma’s visiting cat proceeds to use it as a litter box. Malcolm and Dewey take whatever actions necessary to cure him. It’s based on a short story I wrote many years ago. And the short story is based on a true story. My younger brother and I had to “train” a cat in much the same way.

A: The Spec Scriptacular contest has a very reputable name attached to it - Larry Brody - and that's the main reason I chose it. Funny thing is I almost didn't enter the contest. The entry deadline was right before Christmas and I felt guilty about throwing away forty bucks on a writing contest I had absolutely no chance of winning. I could have been using that money as Christmas money. At the last minute I decided, "What the hell?" and sent it in anyway. And like I told my young daughter, "We can always get a Christmas tree NEXT year, honey - and maybe even some presents, too."

A: Everything about the contest was great and all prizes were awarded as advertised. So I am now the proud owner of two copies of Final Draft, which is excellent screenwriting software. Plus, I'm listed on the tvwriter-dot-com web site as a Recommended Writer, which is very gratifying.

A: There was an option to purchase feedback for $50, but I didn't request it. Why, you ask? Hey I felt bad enough spending $40. If I'd have spent $90 my daughter would have shoved a lump of coal in my shorts – while I was wearing them.

A: I haven’t received any contact from agents, managers or producers, but I am willing to learn.

A: Early last year, or maybe it was late 2003, I downloaded a free demo of Final Draft software. I used it to write the rough draft of the Malcolm script. The demo version won't allow you to save the file off to disk, so I typed the whole 25-page draft in one sitting, afraid that at any moment my computer would die and that I'd lose everything. Plus, I typed it with one hand while using my other to fend off my daughter's attempts to use the computer to chat with her friends. Try THAT one on for size. I liked Final Draft so much that I purchased a copy about a month later. I rewrote the Malcolm script from the demo copy that I printed; saved it to disk and there it sat until I found out about Larry Brody’s contest. I did a load of rewrites and sent it in at the last minute. The Malcolm script is the first script I ever wrote. Spec Scriptacular is the first contest I ever entered.

And no, I'm not a spokesperson for Final Draft (but once again, I'm willing to learn).

A: No, I don’t live in Los Angeles, but for a time back in the mid-to-late 70s I lived just north of there in Eddie’s Airplane Patch in the Mojave Desert. I don’t have any plans to move, but I might stop out for a visit one of these days. To Eddie’s, not L.A.

A: I have no illusions of breaking into "The Biz." I'm at an age where most people are either getting out of the business or are being tossed out. Can you say, “Superannuated”? I liken trying to break into TV or movie writing at my age to taking up the game of golf with the intention of making the PGA tour - it just ain't gonna happen. But if you like to play golf, then you should play golf. If you like to write, then write. If you like to train cats, then read my script.

Posted Tuesday, April 19, 2005