Message Board

Dear Paul,

YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I so respect Joss Whedon's work. His dialogue is quirky and original and I had very high hopes for this movie. What was he smoking! Your E.T. ref. Paul hit the nail on the head.

Robert, I totally agree with you. As screenwriters our top priority is the story. Critics worry about the rest.

Irin,

I admit that's what happened to me - but I can't say the bar was exactly high, just the normal height where all the elements are there along with the comfortable horror movie formula that has a few twists and turns - so much to ask, really? This movie wasn't just bad it was insultingly bad.

Robert,

I wouldn't worry too much about having the same ideas as today's movie goer about a great film. From the examples you cited, you're on the level you should be to write a winning script.

Bobbette,

Good question. As you can tell by my many posts about this movie, it has me pretty tied up in knots...it was that monumentally bad

they're disappointed in the amount in the dollar column. No other reason.

Bobbette,

Ah, the Buffster and her gang. All time fav - the "Gentlemen" and "Once more with feeling". I think Hollywood went to our dear little Joss's head...

The answer to your question is you have to FIRST write a great screenplay then you can write crappy ones and get them made. i.e. Adam Shandler.

you're right, it's Hush! The ghouls are called the Gentlemen. I agree 100 percent, perfection! Spike or Angel Bobbette!

I hope I'm wrong, but it seems to be getting worse instead of better. For the contests, what is the downside of extending the deadline, none that I can find.

Bobbette,

I am laughing so hard! But seriously, I agree

Thanks Paul! We sure can't do any worse then Cabin!

Wow, this so resonates with me also. A 150 bucks for the worse critique! I wrote them back and addressed every complaint my reader had and of course I never heard back - this was from Page. BUT I found a mustard seed of truth in one throw off comment. It made me think which opened new ideas. I started a rewrite and a completely new ending was born. Once I took emotion out and read the critique again, it wasn't a waste of 150 bucks after all.

We can be our own worse enemy. Titles are the names we give our children. We can kick and scream and explain why we call it what we do, but the job of a title is to intrigue a producer into reading it. What does it say about the story you've written. Counterpart isn't interesting. A title that works is a script called "Flirtility" Clever

Corneliu

I agree what happened to you blows and I won't use that service because of your experience. There are so so many coverage companies fighting for our dollar. Sorry it was such a costly lesson. It's like someone said who just posted, this is what this site is for to help each other...

I am turning to all of you to find out the best way to write a scene that requires the quick bouncing back and forth between two locations to build tension for a big reveal. It kills the pacing to keep writing the same two location headings over and over. I wanted to use INTERCUT, but read that's only for phone conversations. How do I do this so the scene flows.

Thank Heather What about a series of shots or would you stick to a montage. Both are an easier read then the cont. headings.

Paul, examples helped a lot! thanks!

I found Talentville to be hit and miss. But that was before you could pick which scripts you wanted to read. Maybe I got someone who wasn't into my genre...

Possibly the absurdness of the whole thing will draw the curious. I admire the title much like Snakes on a plane, no surprises when the lights go down.

The question is - What a bad ass would Lincoln be as a vampire hunter who suffers from severe depression - or is it the vampires in his early years that has made him depressed...

Makes me laugh

Bobbette,

Right after I'd commented on your thread, my bro-in-law yelled up at me. "What do you think about Lincoln as a Vampire! I trotted downstairs in time to see the last of the trailer on tv. He grinned at me and said, "I don't know, but there's something there I wanna see! Either it will be brilliant or it will be bad, very very bad...

What does it matter, I've seen both at the movies...

I like number 3 - strong hook

Good Luck!

Paul, If they are worth their salt they will know how brilliant your ending is when they read it. It sounds like they want your complete story w/out having to read it. Give it to them straightforward. No one likes a coy ending to a synopsis.

Congrats Paul! Hope it takes you far!

I know when I do the double space after a period, especially in the dialogue, it gives the impression of more air, a quicker read. We've all heard how much readers LOVE white. I try to only single space if it drastically helps my page count...

T.J. I follow the Trottier's Bible pretty religiously and found the only example of intercuting associated with phone convos... I was hesitant to roll the dice and use it any other way, sometimes formatting scores can keep you from a win...thanks for your website - it's where I'll go for any formatting questions now...sorry David Trollier...

I've found them to all be a standard form. You have to sign them if you want your script to be read. It's after they've read your script and they want to option it or better yet BUY it that you call the lawyer!

Philip,

I can't comprehend your request being denied. It goes without saying if you went ahead and wrote their script then had success with your preexisting scripts they would scream thief, thief! If it weren't for the joy of writing scripts, I wouldn't want anything to do with the Shylocks in this business...

Paul,

Your page count problem sounds all too familiar. I could go on and on about how one word solved this problem for me, but it speaks for itself...simplify.

I will take drunk legal advice...

As drunk as you appear to be, it doesn't seem happy hour sucked too bad, Mr. Undari...

When fist starting out, I believed the formatting rules could be bent at times, but when I read about readers who flip to the last page to see the page count and it's 111 instead of 110, This supposedly tells the reader, I'm not able to cut out dead weight. Also, I received rave reviews about my formatting, BUT they found one mistake. I didn't put FLASHBACK ENDS at the end of a flashback. I was given a nine instead of a ten for formatting. That can cost you a win and it has nothing to do with the story you're telling.

So I think your point is correct, Julia. The story has to be so damn good they don't notice FLASHBACK ENDS.

Paul,

I've gone from 120 to 110 to NOW 115. It's dicey, but worth it. I'm shooting to keep it at 115, screw 110.

To me this is the most subjective of story elements. What makes one person squirm might make someone else yawn. There is no guideline as to how many adjectives one can use for sex or violence to make it 'too' graphic. This is solely up to the reader in my opinion. (I am saying thus under the ussumption that it's not gratuitous.) Sex for sex sake or violence or the never ending car chase speaks of laziness on the writer's part.

Hey byters, has anyone who placed in this contest heard anything from anybody? Just wondering if I should uncross my fingers...

I used the 150 from the win to pay for other contest entries. You're right Lana, none of us have heard anything? I also changed my email address and though ScriptVamp was quick to reassure me their sponsors would receive my new address, I've heard nothing, nada, zero... it hurts.

Liked your short, Paul

what I believe they did was take the percentage from every category only, not the overall contest...does that make sense?

This just goes to show you, like everyone says, it's only the top five contests that really matter.

I entered this contest and not again. I don't remember getting any info about how many scripts entered, the cuts, a big fat zero. Lucky you if you win, I guess.