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Hey ya'll,

Do we really have to have a sex scene in our stories, cause I don't have one.

I'm kinda tired of watching a scary movie where the monster is about to devour the stars and they're busy doing the do.

The second Underworld I think would have been just as good if I didn't have to see a butt naked werewolf and and every inch of the skinny butt naked female vampire, they don't leave much for the imagination. I didn't buy the second one.

There is an M&M commercial where the green lady M&M films a commercial with the male M&M filming. She wears a boa and high heals walks and lays around very provocatively melting the red M&M, the yellow one is speechless and the blue one is stunned.

Sex and Candy, I happen to like M&M's especially the ones with the nuts but if my candy is in the candy store getting down and dirty with the other candies thats disturbing.

Beowoulf was a good flick we got to see him naked (animated), but what I don't understand is why we only saw his butt never a full frontal view? We got a look at the Jolie character full view, you mean to tell me that the animators couldn't come up with a way to package Beowoulf's package to view. There was always something in the way, a cup, an elbow, a pole, always something and the damn thing was animated dag nabbit.

So is sex still selling? It doesn't matter I'm not going to put a sex scene in it, it's not necessary, I do have a beheading though that should cover it, huh?

evie

it's all good!

Of course sex still sells, always has, always will. I fact, I just bought the blu-ray addition of Debbie does Dallas just last week.

All kidding aside, In the script I'm polishing for the 99th time, Lucifer, and The Garden of Evil, Adam and Eve have to be naked, do they not? Nudity for nothing more than to see a man or womans naughty bits is porn. As writers we shouldn't be afraid to use sex and nudity in our stories where the story demands it. If it's pointless nudity we better have a damned good reason why.

Yeah Adam and Eve have to be naked cause long time ago in a movie called the Bible it was the first time a man appeared naked but you didn't see anything but you can't show them doing the nasty until AFTER they eat the apple cause they didn't have to to the do they just thought about it, I think I wasn't there until later.

evie

it's all good

"I didn't have to see a butt naked werewolf and and every inch of the skinny butt naked female vampire, they don't leave much for the imagination. I didn't buy the second one."

I didn't see the second one because when I rented the first one, I thought it was crap. However, Kate Beckinsale is such a hottie, I may now have to buy the second one. Curse you.

Hey Ron,

Don't worry the second one's naughty werewolf/vampire love scene last too long and of course you see more of the woman than the man like 300 you saw more of the Queen than you did of the spartan king, bummer.

Most of the teen movies have some kind of sex scene and they have the nerve to ask if movies are teaching the kids too much about sex. Ya think?

Do we really need sex to sell chewing gum?

evie

it's not all good

Hey, bait and switch works. Arouse the sexual desire, then pop the chewing gum in their faces -- here, kids, here's what'll fix yer equilibrium!

Well Ron I could see using sex to sell a car cause that's where most of the children's lives began and lots of teen experiementing goes on oopps.

When I worked at Target as a cashier a gentleman came through my line with some type of seafood claims it was for his wife an aphrodisiac (I wonder if i spelled it right) afro DC ack, close enough. I said there's no food that will make you horny, you're either a horny toad or you're not. He laughed.

Don't mention oysters cause the only thing they would do is make your breath stink.

Okay everyone I'm sorry it's late and I'm reading Capt. Morgan's diary Ahoy me mattie.

evie

yeah that was all good

Sex must sell because it's cost me a bloody fortune and always left me smiling.

Eric, Just stop paying for it, ohhhhhhhhhh, bro only kidding, please dont everyone hammer me.

Far as paying for it goes, it was the best education money could buy.

Before I met my wife she was a hooker on a sport fishing boat and I was the baiter who managed the poles.

We're from Hawaii, so get your filthy mind out of the gutter.

Eric

I used to be a master baiter on board a boat.

evie

Hmmm. Guess those fishing terms were coined by horny sailers in the days before equal opportunity.

I was born in the back seat of a mustang on a cold nite in the pouring rain. Evie did you retire?

Hey James,

No not retired yet.

Couldn't afford the hospital huh? The poor mustang that horse must be tired huh?

evie

Just read the post.

To me, unless you're making porn, a prolonged sex scene is one of the biggest wastes of screen time available to a director.

Tell that to the makers of "Body Heat", "Basic Instinct", "Monster's Ball", "The Cooler" and a slew of others. Graphic sex scenes made these films more memorable and were significant parts of the stories.

Actually the PROMISE of sex in movies, is much more powerful and will always sell. There are allot of movies that are extremely sensual without any nudity or any graphic sex scenes at all. So I never understood the need for our right nudity and sex in movies. I have a pretty good imagination so I dont need to see the whole thing.

To me THAT is not as alluring as scenes like Patrick and Demi spinning the pottery pot in Ghost, Jennifer sucking lobster in front of Nick in Flashdance, Megan and Col's kiss in stomp the yard, Bo Derek in cornrows and slow-mo running across the beach in "10", Jennifer and Cynthia in leotards and heels dancing with Patrick in Dirty dancing.

OK thats enough, see my point though? It just seems to me teasing us is much more effective and if we keep putting it all out there, like all the cleavage we see (constantly) these days, it will loose its mystic and appeal. Dont you think?

Hey,

In the movie the Preditor with Arnold Swartzenegger he said they wanted a sex scene with him and the latino woman. He promtly said no.

I could not see putting a sex scene in a movie like that. If your running for your life from a monster you don't have time for that.

evie

Sex does sell, in the movie Debbie and the girls were trying to sell raffle tickets to go to the superbowl. The porn was secondary, the story was what made the movie. I would love to have my movie watched by only 150 people, but 800 million rentals. Evie, will you please share more stories about your years on the boat, as a baiter. Its been a long long cold winter up here with no end in sight. Did you fish for Flounder, Sea Bass, Tuna, Shrimp. Sharing in good.

Jimmy Montana!

Porn is a waste of time and money, sex is an ugly thing and we're ugly when we're doing it.

Porn is so fake, when you're into the groove you're sweating, your hair is standing on end, your face is contorted, every nerve endings are spazing out, you're making animal sounds, your skin is slapping together, if you're doing it right, what's pretty about that. There is no way your makeup will be perfect after making monkey love.

Jimmy Montana I've never worked on a boat, I was talking about the other kind of 'master baiter' it was a funny dude, a play on words which is my specialty.

Are you related to Tony Montana, you know the one who constantly says, "Let me introduce you to my little friend." at least he was being honest about it. It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean.

Okay now I've gone to far or not far enough.

evie

it's all delicious, oopps.

"sex is an ugly thing and we're ugly when we're doing it."

That depends on who you are doing with.

"sex is an ugly thing and we're ugly when we're doing it."

Really? Have you tried turning off the lights?

How's the old joke go? I never went to be with an ugly woman, but I did wake up to several.

Sex can be a beautiful thing is you write it well or perform it correctly.

Hello, it's not about the SEX. It's about the STORY! One of my comedies was formally called "I Married A Porn Star." There were no sex scenes because my story didn't need one.

Doing it in the dark is not recommended, you need to be sure there are no unexpected attachment or other things unknown factors, always look at the equipment. I think you'd want to see what you're getting into.

Sex in a movie is overrated.

Do you really want to see Kermit and Miss Piggy getting down or any of the other muppets or Sponge Bob and Sandy Cheeks (the squirrel), or Darth Vader and Jabba the Butt, (unclear about the gender)?

The person you're with might be gorgeous but afterwards all the glamour is gone.

If you're doing it right.

evie



some of the movies I've seen I wonder how they got the camera that close to the desired destination or is it computer generated.

If sex doesn't sell, someone better tell the French they built their whole cinema on a falsity.

Evie, I know it was only a funny. Just trying to get you to open up a little, You know Cybel your other twin, Im sure she has a lot to tell. In one of my stories she was a 40 something former ski racer who while at a late party she ask a 20 something race worker what he knew about sex, and 2 hours later "KNEW" him in her mini van. No pictures just blue sky.

Hey James,

I'm a Gemini so I am a vintage twin of myself.

I do believe I have a dopleganger. I saw a skit on snl or mad tv. The skit was called 'needy evie' it was about a doll that kept having temper tantrums. I thought how did they know, is someone looking through my window, is my apartment bugged, how did they know, how?

so james who's Jimmy Montana? Your dopleganger perhaps?

If I get any more looser this sight would have to be x-rated, so we'll keep my twin in the box for now. My evil twin Skippy.

There's this band that has this lead guitar player and he makes the most unusual faces when he's into his playing, he's really into it. I asked him afterwards did he make those faces during sex, he said he didn't know cause he's not looking at himself.

How's that?

evie

who's Jimmy Montana?

it's all good

Hey James,

the original version of my screenplay I had multiple sex romps. But was told that she got porked to soon in the script cause she didn't really know the guy. I'm thinking over 40 people aren't going to play games their going to get busy especially since she hadn't been laid in 16 years.

the second time it was after she embarrssed the man in front of his friend and after he tosses her into the river. I was told he's somewhat abusive. I figure an alpha woman needs an alpha man to alphacate her.

The last one was a mutual love making.

I recall in the old movies men could be macho, I like macho men not the wife beater kind but the kind that used to be in the pirate movies, the men that would pin a willing woman against the wall willingly and ravish her willingly, but you didn't see anything as it should be, I don't need to see butt cracks to get the jest of what's going to happen.

Now the movies make the man damn near beg for the tail. Or he's some whinny whimpy puss that any woman would kick out of her room cause she's going to have to do all the work, give him a GPS monitor to find the right hole or write on her body in braille.

I used to like 'The Rock' the wrestler dude, what a body then he makes a movie wearing a dress, well that killed it for me, now that dude John Cinna, what a body what a nice booty, nice hillbilly looking dude, but sexy as hell. Please John Sinna please do not put on a dress, please.

evie

it's all good

Ours is Rent House, and of course one of the boys has to hook up with the Cougar landlady. It just has to happen. Buy the way they are having cougar parties on the west coast on a weekly basis. Someone has to teach the next gen. how to live their lives. Actually its Steve Breckenridge when im in the mountains. Its J.R. Catalina when im on the west coast, and its Jimmy Breeze when im in the Islands. E,did you hook up with Tony Montana, that little runt?

Naw James

Tony and me couldn't get together, a little racial profiling going on. He liked to powder his women and beat their butts. I'm not into the S&M thing. If it's hurting me it aint sexy.

besides why pick a italian to play a cuban?

Cougar's who thought up that name, what do you call an old man chasing a younger woman, Daddy, possumm, gorilla, wizard of oz?

Some one asked me if that's what i was, a cougar I didn't even know what he was talking about. No interest in teaching a man a damn thing he's suppose to come to the table with the knowledge before hand.

Get the book Sex for idiots, dummies and the dead.

evie

and that wasnt' me at your window last night, I just have to look into the crystal balls and find you cause your listed.

I like the men who used to be in Pirate movies, who would ravish her up the wall. Give him a G P S system so he can find his way. Evie, thats all gold. Write it honey. Look at Wedding Crashers, only did 300 mil. Sex does sell. Powder his women, I love that one. Sure that was not you at the window.

Hey James,

No that wasn't me, as a 50 foot woman all I'd have to do is tear the roof of the mother.

Besides the aluminum foil you have on the windows prevents me from finding you, you know the foil you put up to prevent the aliens from reading your mind.

I've taken all the macho man sex out the story totally. I think love that lasts over 142 years is more important.

besides making love in the woods is tricky, I tried it once cause it look so romantic, I ended up with misquito bites in places that you don't really want them, ouch.

It was my husband and I had no fun at all getting poked by sticks, leaves and bugs and that was just his foreplay. The movies never tell you about the hazards.

Needless to say I'm divorced I draw the line when you have to bring small farm animals into the encounter. It didn't make any sense, just cause Kmart had the blue light special on aisle six for small farm animals doesn't mean you have to purchase them, the goat's beard was distracting, and the grasshopper kept talking to himself, he kept saying, "Concentrate grasshopper", and trying to catch the rocks I was throwing at it.

Now see what you did Jimmy, I must put my evil twin, Skippy, back in the box, she tricked me.

evie

its all good

Damn, Yvonne, just have a female character free-associate like this and call it a script. It will sell, surely.

Damn Evie, you write it hard. Share some of those mushrooms, or tell your twin sharing is good. Give us some more. Farm animals, bug bites in hidden places, keep it comming.

Ron,

As founder and President of the 'Dirty Ole Women's club I have a reputation to maintain.

It's all James's fault, I was minding my own business trying to sound edumakayted then he wrote the name Cybul that triggered the dirty ole woman gene.

Someone needs to write the true story of Peter Pan, the man was a child abductor, a stalker, and a drug addict with major issues.

He flies around in green tights that he never washes, goes into a little girl's bedroom flies away with her and her brothers, (that's excessories after the fact isn't it), takes them to a deserted island with no bathrooms or TV, who knows what he was doing with the lost boys after he told them to get lost he has a real woman now, Capt Hook, the only adult figure looses his hand in a poker game after betting his croc skin shoes, Tinker Bell gets jealous sprinkles white powder on Pan's peter calling it fairy dust, could that be why the accused could fly. Poor Tiger Lily is kicked to the curb cause of Pan de Peter's new woman. As ya'll have said over and over Sex Sells.

Sorry Ron what does that mean free associates?

Okay at least I know I have issues.

evie

its all good.

When did the transition occur from "buck" naked to "butt" naked? I believe there is a Seinfeld episode where George adopts the name "Buck Naked."

Greg,

I'm afraid to tell you that each version was around long before Mr. Seinfeld long long before.

There was a cop show many moons ago when a drunk naked guy comes into the police station, opens his coat and yells, "I'm bucket naked".

evie

it's all good

Does cruises new hitler movie have cruise or hitler doing the do or hitler and eva b doin the do? I'm sure the new costumes are shinier and the explosions are bigger and better than the old version of this same story.

Was Hitler's book mein kamph secretly written about Eva his woman, mein c_nt?

evie

MEIN KAMPF was written when Eva Braun was 12.

This thread is nauseating!

So why are you here!

evie

So why are you here!

evie

From time to time I check these boards to see if anyone needs the advice I'm able to offer. Lately you and your clown friends have dominated the topics and the quality of contributions has dropped like the stock market. I don't know what your screenplays are like but if they're anything like your posts...

I happen to know evie has some great clown partys. I have been to many. She is a fine young lady. We are having another clown party for any one who wants to attend. No frown's allowed, and please its an advice free event.

Eric

Was it not you who wrote about paying for a good time aboard the boat in Hawaii being the master poler.

If that ain't Ronald McDonald calling John Wayne Gacy black.

This clown has to go to work now see ya

evie

There's nothing wrong with humor. The problem is posting erroneous information.

Or a bad joke that's an obviously horrible joke.

Dearest Eric and the other,

You have caused a riff in the cosmic humor layer, you've trampled on humors right to life any life.

Due to these fact I have no other choice but to unleash the dreaded hordes, all two of them, that lie beneath the earths oceans ancient warriors at my disposal ready and willing to do my bidding.

Arise my minion seek out the all knowing ones, arise.

Ninja Klowns transform, Ninja Klowns attack!

evie

just when you thought it was safe to think.

Who trampled on whom, Evie? Who trampled on whom?

me thinketh he doth protest too much!

evie

Yvonne,

Does your mommy know you're playing with her computer?

No, Eric, but your wife said it was okay.

evie

Eric,

No picking on Evie...Actually, scratch that. Go right ahead.

pick away gentlemen, I ain't sceard.

I seems to be good therapy for you two seeing as you're the only ones that keep ragging.

See, folks for a minute Mr. Jr. came to my rescue then turned around and trashed me, that's how our writing relationship would go say something nice then step on it the very next strokes. Men, go figure.

Two big macho tough guys: MACHO MACHO MAN or Y-M-C-A or TIP TOE THROUGH THE TWO LIPS.

Poor little ole me, what ever shall I do, I'm being maligned, dejected, scandalized, made to be the meany. They ain't heavy their my mofo dudes

evie

it's all good

This reminds me of so many other threads with personnas like that "Ben LANY." A person shows up with poor spelling and grammar, chimming in constantly with unintelligible crap, and then "poof" disappears.

Who ever has to poof leave the room there will be no poofing here.

Lighten up folks we only write what we can back up.

The blog started does sex sell? We have unanimously decided that yes it does.

So what else is there to say but to toss in some sick perverse sexual humor.

What is your definition of writing I'm curious?

What do you like to write about.

evie

its all there!

Thomas Swan Jr and Eric Sentell I wish to apologize for being a excorsist head spinning, fountain puking, hell bitch.

My aggressiveness towards men gets the best of me.

Please accept my humble apology.

To the rest of the MB bloggers I apologize to you also.

Please excuse my arrogance.

Only a BITCH when provoked, don't poke the bear with a stick.

evie

its all good Lesson Learned

for you newbies this is what got eric started he was fun once then got all hairy. go figure. You the man dude.

evie