Message Board

Title: Jerkin'

Genre: Teen/roadtrip

Logline: In the year 2048, where everything's become an olympic event, the worlds fastest masturbators converge. A long shot contestant, on the brink of winning the gold, runs into his stiffest competition in the form of a masked figure known only as, ''The Milkman''.

Heh. "Stiffest" competition. Insert Beavis and Butthead chuckles.

Tim, it would be better if you made the "Milkman" the grandson of Peter North.

Let me guess - one of those 4am masterpieces?

Wow, Tim.

You left me speechless, not in a good way.

Of course, you could run it up the flagpole and see who salutes.

Keep in mind I did say ''for Judd Apatow'' With such recent forgettable films as ''Dilbit Taylor'', Step Brothers'' and ''Don't mess with the Zohan'', this is his kinda flix, totally tasteless!

Paul...''The Milkman'' turns out to be his father.

Paula....Creative minds are open for business 24/7 and don't need to be jumped started with a glass of prune juice and bran flakes at 8am, but you knew that.......right?

Apatow has had a few misses, but most of his other films such as "40 year old Virgin" and "Knocked up" were huge at the box office.

Knocked Up is a movie you couldn't pay me to watch a second time, yet many think it ranks right up there with "Orca" and we all know how much that movie blows.

Tim,

What up with all the boxes? Cool huh. Most everyone on this board say write about what you know well.

Hi James,

I was wondering about those little boxes myself. They're supposed to be quotation marks "."

"Most everyone on this board say write about what you know well." If that's the case, someone's bound to have "beat" me to it.

Almost got it that time.

Tim - maybe you should take a dose of that prune juice and bran, you are promoting, to clean out the brain.

And wouldn't your "The Milkman" be a short?

Why Paula, you sound as if someones walked alover your grave...we cross?

The idea has potential, but it needs a solid underlying story holding it together. Otherwise, it sounds like humor derived from the shock value of masturbation, which is funny for bits in movies (Something About Mary) but can't carry 90 minutes. And the "underdog/Rocky Balboa" angle isn't any more than an excuse to enter into this premise. A story is still needed.

With that said, I don't know if this is for Apatow (who is nearly impossible to pitch to anyway since he has surrounded himself with writers who keep churning out scripts). Apatow movies have a certain amount of heart in them, and then a penis or two and some explicit conversations about sex are thrown in on top of it. But KNOCKED UP and 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN, at their core, are not raunchy premises. None of his films are. They just drape them in raunch to bring in the male audiences.

Hey Tim,

You know I was just thinkin perhaps focusing on what these gentlemen concentrate on while trying to achieve the ultimate win/when situation.

I'm assuming you're going to have said gentlemen in front of millions of people and televised so the more the mind must focus on something calming that is unless, wait a minute ...

...how are you going to judge a fake massy bait climax and a real one? Huh?

evie

dare I wonder?

I know, that you all know, That it was just a joke, maybe not a funny one as some pointed out.

As Paula correctly pointed out, Sometimes your 4am ideas are best kept to themselves.

I was having a rare "down" moments and wrote that to lift my spirits.

I do feel that someone, somewhere, is writing that script. I wish them all the luck cause I never will.

Tim tim tim tim,

I got it, it was a damn funny joke. Im sure after being humped over the computer time and time again at 34 y.o. jobless and daddy came in one too many times, its time to get your own place now. Just a quick p.s. Paula has a much sharper pen than yours my good friend...