Message Board

I've had some good hits from this service and requests for scripts but researching the companies and people connected to them is essential. The subscribers to the service include relative newcomers and old pros.

They've also been very helpful in answering questions in a timely manner and in providing guidance. I think it's one of the best services out there, but not the only one to use.

Best of luck!

I think it was Robert Towne who said it was finding the premise, those one to three sentences that contain the essence of your script. I agree. Lajos Egri's THE ART OF DRAMATIC WRITING is a great book on writing, especially on premise.

Hello!

There are a few other services out there that offer "free" posts

Hollywood Lit Sales.Com

Neverheardofthem.co.uk (relatively new; very nice people but very slow. I sent them a posting almost 3 weeks ago and it's still not up)

Global Literary Market (GLM will post stuff but it goes into this void you cannot access) This is part of their subscription service-- the major part of which is a good data base of companies and agents you may e-mail. (Inexpensive subscription)

And that leads me to the other part of my comment-- I also meant services that do not post or that post after coverage. So, GLM, Script PIMP, 4Filmmakers.com, Screenwriters Utopia, and ifilmpro.com all have information, along with Moviebytes, that you can cross reference when marketing. Most of these are free and all have free areas.

WSN, along with being a great place to connect with folks, also offers some fine articles, including one on marketing that addresses using various methods for connecting with buyers. Postings are one way; e-mail, contests, personal contacts, hard copy queries, festivals, conventions, and writer's groups are a list of other platforms one may use to expand their chances.

I hope this long response has something new in it for folks.

Best,

Paul

I've been searching this too, he's got postings on at least three sites.

It's spelled "McFaddin."

I cannot find anything related to film. Mainly, I've found connections to enterainment, specifically as a rep for exotic dancers. I believe this is the same kmcfaddin in the script listings, since the exotic dancer rep and the person looking for screenplays have the exact same e-mail address: kmcfaddin@aol.com and business name.

Paul

Break a leg!

Paul

Hello Miriam,

I am new to these boards; I'm the one who wrote the response right after yours re: screenwriting challenges. I partly wrote my answer as a response to yours.

I may be in left field here-- but I felt you might be rewriting to serve others rather than your script. The only time I'll do that is if I'm getting paid and my job is to please the person who's paying me.

Rewriting's important but too many times writers get advice from directors or producers who have not made a financial commitment. It's rare, even if the rewrites are successful, that these people ever will commit.

Years ago I got a call from a collaborator. He'd set up a meeting with a NY stage producer who was very interested in the musical we had written. The musical was a BIG musical-- four major roles, eight others, a chorus, full libretto, music, lyrics, lots of sets, costumes, lighting-- the whole schmeer. It was a very light (dumb) take-off on the Old West and Westerns.

The producer, who shall remain nameless, but who is quite successful and has a close relative who is very successful as a performer, said that he really liked the show.

I went to the meeting which was at my friend's apartment. The producer, lets call him Leo since that's not his name, arrives with an "older" woman draped all over him. (Very odd) They are doing everything but "it" when they enter the apartment.

The vibes were...well.. strange...to say the least. Finally, we get Leo's attention away from the woman, who was sort of introduced by him to us, and they stop grappling with each other long enough for the following exchange to take place:

JOHN (my partner) So, you're interested in the musical?

LEO: Yeah, I really like what you guys have done. I'm very interested in producing it. If you can make it three or five people in cowboy costumes sitting on a porch playing guitars and singing, we might have a deal.

SILENCE. LONG SILENCE. DUMBFOUNDED SILENCE.

JOHN: Okay... well...we'll get back to you.

Leo and friend leave (to do whatever) John closes the door.

ME: What the f--- was that?

JOHN: I don't know.

ME: What do you think?

JOHN: I don't think he wants the play we wrote.

We did finally get a very fine and successful regional theatre production of the musical. And it went through rewrites, right up until and a bit after opening night. But we NEVER had one scene with three to five people sitting on a porch playing guitars and singing.

Stay true to your script and yourself.

All my best and hope I'm not out of line here,

Paul

Thanks,

Yes, I read Miriam's bio AFTER I wrote my words (duh on me); so, much of my "advice" was moot.

Lesson for me--always do your research FIRST!

Hang in there Miriam.

Paul

True and could be, except the e-mail matches that of kmcfaddin who reps exotic dancers and e-mail addresses can't be duplicated.... sooo......?

Paul

I have no idea.

Sorry.

For me, ideas come from a few general places--

My Actual Life experience.

History (I love history, and boy does it repeat itself)

People give me ideas (yep, and some are good) This may be a collaborative venture, a commission, or someone just talking to me about something I didn't know about.

They manifest themselves in titles, an image, a new's snippet, etc.

But then they have to be crafted into something-- idea to premise. If I can make the idea into a premise, I'm pretty sure I have something.

I think it's good to keep ideas written down and revisit them. I got an idea for a comedy about three weeks ago and the first draft is almost done. Then again, I've had others take ten years to develop.

An exercise I've done that worked for me was setting a daily quota-- write three premises a day. You've got to do it. Three a day. After 30 days you're going to have some awful stuff, some mediocre stuff, and a few really great premises.

That's it for me.

Paul

I don't doubt your first-hand assessment of the French military.

But let's no forget the French Resistance in World War II. They were brave, cunning, and resourceful. And, of course, extremely helpful to the Allies. However, most were novice fighters-- which says something about French training back then (Stone Age). and, of course, the abysmal French generals at that time too (not the most insightful group of guys).

Paul

PS Hey, remember, the Brits stopped right in the midst of D-Day to have tea much to the chagrin of U.S. troops. Ain't cultural differences grand?

Hi Lisa and D Jay,

It's an interesting conundrum. You're right, as in other countries, many French were active collaborators. I think though there's a balance to be found between our former ideas and beliefs about the Resistance and the revisionist versions.

Of course, it's never cut and dry (history). I was directing a show a few years back and when the lead actress, who was Jewish, realized that my heritage was Polish-Catholic, she said "Oh, what your people did to my people during World War II." I was of course stunned by the statement. It wasn't that I didn't know about what had happened, I just never, because of what I believe and who I am,felt connected to those people who willingly betrayed humanity and collaborated with the Nazis. Also, all of my relatives, including my Dad, fought in WWII.

A few years later I was preparing to direct a production of Peter Weiss' THE INVESTIGATION (a docu-drama about a 3 year Nazi war crimes trial) During my "investigation" of the Holocaust, I came upon information about a relative of mine, a Jesuit who lived in Poland during the war, who was exterminated at Auschwitz.

So I guess all my people weren't on the wrong side. But I understand why the actress felt that way.

Paul

PS Ever see EUROPA, EUROPA? Talk about changing realities in war and re-defining collaboration.

I think all of these boards are writing related. Some are related to technique or skill, others to the art, others to the business and, still others, to the WORLD. I mean, hey, where do you get your ideas?

I'm drawn to them because I'm fascinated by people and something like the NO MORE WAR board has a lot of character and a lot of characters.

Paul

Another good way to find someone is just using Google. Often you'll get some insight into them from an interview or article or, as I found recently, you realize that said lit agent's day job is representing exotic dancers.

Break a leg.

Paul

To reiterate-- agreed!

Talk on, think on, write on.

Paul

Meg,

A lot of good advice here.

Lajos Egri's The Art does a lot with opposites as well as premise.

Two things that work for me (very basic but useful)

Asking, What makes today or this day different from any other day in your character's life?

The other is working with the idea that a lot happens when "a stranger comes to town." This can be a metaphorical "stranger" coming to a metaphorical "town." Plays such as Oedipus the King, Hamlet, King Lear,and Tartuffe work this way, as do screenplays such as Casablanca, High Noon, American Beauty, and Field Dreams. (and many, many others.)

Best of work and luck.

Paul

Hello,

I just got the wsn preferred nl last night (sunday).

It seems to me the leads are good. And, yes, they tend to usually be quite specific regarding genre, budget, character types, etc. One thing I've found is that I've gotten to know a bit more about certain folk's needs (many of whom search wsn). Also, the fact that the leads tend to be specific are helpful because they save me the the trouble of applying to those that my work doesn't fit and they allow me to quickly access those that do fit.

There were about ten leads the latest nl.

Paul

Mary Kay does have great advice!

I don't remember if you're posted on writers script network. It's yet another way to go.

You want to tap into as many different types of marketing situations as you can (as an article posted on wsn notes)-- producers are one, contests another, agents another, personal contacts another (people you know in the business), conferences, posting sites (the main one and best being wsn), etc.

To break down producers into two categories that are accessible, you can cold query those who will accept such and then, for those who put out the call for a logline and synopsis directly query them.

The important thing about these queries is to track them (moviebytes is great for that) and to follow up, if rejected, with another query a month to sux weeks later (if you have the material).

Best of luck.

Paul

I just read in the last three weeks a Producers' reactions to pitches from one of the "pitchfests" they have in LA. I thought it was in Script mag, but I can't find it there. So, I probably read it on line.

WSN, Global Literary Market, Done Deal, Screenwriters Utopia, Screenwriter's Central, the Screenwriters Market-- a few of these should have info on pitching (some of these sites are free).

Some common complaints from the article I read were: Writers need to establish the genre & title in the first sentence. Then the main character, their essence and what they want. A lot of folks don't do this. Then develop the important parts of the story as they relate to the main character.

I've done a pitch workshop and understand it intellectually but I find it to be the weakest part of my writing.

Break a leg!

Paul

Paula,

You may already be doing this but I use Google all the time and almost always track people down using it. A name, a company name, e-mail address-- usually you'll find something out about that person, credits, company, lack of company, etc. IMDB is good but limited.

Best,

Paul

I want a stab at it--- and the question is-- what are movies that purport to be historical but are really histrionical hyperbolic and hysterical?(???)

Paul

Hi Veena,

I hope you'll continue as much as you can. You have a great deal of knowledge and insight; and you don't mince words.

I'm new to these boards but I'll miss you.

I hope all is well.

My best,

Paul

Maybe it's the same irritant?

Veena, if you're still there, I'm looking for info on a movie about Jim Corbett. You seem to have a lot of knowledge and it does take place in your native India.

Thanks,

Paul

I'd like to say that although I've never had the pleasure of meeting Yosarian I have some advice I'd like to give him-- keep your margains straight, your spell checker current, and get that yak inspected,

How many more must die!

Paul

Yo, Yossrian... Yossarian(?)... sorry I misspelled your name.

Paul

Only to confuse the matter.

Do you know where you want the script to go because you have it plotted out or because the plot is coming from your characters' needs, objective, motivation?

If it's the first, which it sounds like to me, then you need to really figure out what your character wants and is willing to do to get it.

If it is the second--

Maybe try writing a scene or sequence totally unrelated to the action of the screenplay but with the characters from the script in it or change some element in a scene or scenes that seem to break down (the location, time, person in control etc.)

You're on page 30 and that means you may not have enough fuel right now to carry your character through. Are they being tested enough, is there room for them to grow?

Finally, how strong is your premise? It's your foundation and everything comes from that.

Okay--- hope I didn't offer too much here.

Best,

Paul

PS sometimes you have to plough through the tough stuff and a few pages later it's moving again; only then can you fix the earlier problems.

A few thoughts--

RE: Hitler-- In the beginning it was up to the Germans to do something about him. They failed. Finally others did but we waited too long.

RE: Iraq

People forget or are unaware of the 100,000 Americans who after the Gulf War were aflicted with various diseases (such as MLS, see Falcon's Cry) from their exposure to chemical agents. It took years for our government to recognize these casualties. Many have died and many have ilnesses that are incurable. They were sent to the Gulf with inadequate gear-- old and useless. At this point this gear, for many of our fighting men and women, has not been replaced. It's the same old stuff.

Finally, and maybe many of you are in this boat, I grew up among many men who fought in World War II, including my dad. I've always greatly admired these men along with those who were on the home front. I never met a vet who was "giddy" about that war; or who thought war was something to relish. In fact, it was something they didn't want to see their kids go through unless it was absolutely necessary. Iraq does not fall into this category.

I don't like S.H. one bIT. But there's a lot more in this war than beating the Iraqis and getting rid of Saddam Hussein. How many countries are we in now? Yet another.

Finally, I heard Norman Schwartzkopf on the radio the other day; at first he was against this war but now he's changed his mind. But he had a few cautionary notes.

This time, if we are going to get S.H. there will be a lot more lives lost on our side. He said it will be building to buidling door to door fighting, "the worst kind of war there is."

He also noted that no war is "nice;" it is a terrible thing to go through.

Finally, he takes no glee in this.

I have difficulty with anyone who does.

Oh, yes, and did you see the latest reality series-- that's right it focuses on our troops. I admire them; I'm thankful for them; I believe they should get ever possible benefit they can for serving. But to make this into a reality TV series is... depraved.

Then again-- the war will not start until after Sweeps.

Wishing everyone over there speedy victory and a quick passage home.

Paul

Thanks for the lead.

It looks interesting. I spent just a little time on it. I'm going back to tool around some more.

It looks like a better direction than something like Trigger Street (ugh)

Paul

It's great you went for it.

All they can say is "no."

How great they said "yes!":

Break a leg!

Paul

We're humoring him. Obviously he's delusional.

Paul

We've done very little to others who have been like Hitler.

Stalin? How 'bout so many of the Red Chinese leaders? Idi Amin?

GW is fightin' Daddy's War. Anyone catch GW's reverse domino theory? Once we "liberate" Iraq democracy may spread throughout the region? Kuwait can't wait for that and the Sadi's must be so happy with that idea! Right.

Isn't he sounding disturbingly like some sort of missionary?

By the way, how many countries where democracy did not exist successfully became democracies because of our intervention? Keep thinking searching....

France? England? India? Bueller, Bueller? It has to come from within. America, above all, should realize that.

Oh, well, the windows will be rattling in Iraq any moment now and all the bogus reasons we've been given will soon be forgotten.

Vietnam... now there's a democracy that worked!

Michael and Richard are right on target here.

Formatting software is a godsend.

Software for developing your work is, as already stated, another tool.

I've used Dramatics Pro, Truby's, and Collaborator. But that was some time ago. I found at first they were helpful but then I felt they were becoming confining.

They can help you get your story/script to a certain level but there's no substitute for time, rewriting, criticism from trusted but honest colleagues, and the insights you get from having actors read your work aloud.

Everything and more that's in that software is in the writer. I mean, think of all those folks who wrote so many fine, brilliant, and great scripts with nothing more than a writing implement and something on which to record their words.

Best of luck!

Paul

Hi, all,

I've seen their call for info from writers interested in assignments. I can't find info on them anywhere and I e-mailed them for some basic info and got nothing.

Do they really exist? What's their M.O.?



Thanks,

Paul

I joined the website and, basically, I like it. The list of contacts (producers, agents, management cos) is well organized with current contacts, needs, etc.

The site was down for quite some time (almost a week) when they were updating their site. They thought it would take only about a day. They offered a big apology and extended eveyone's membership an extra year for the inconvience. (which I thought was good business)

As a sidelight, I happened to be the person who won a free one year subscription to Script Magazine the month I joined.

I'm not interested in their script services because I have a solid network of folks who can critique my stuff.

So, I use it as another resource, along with moviebytes and Global Literary Market as a source for info and folks I can contact.

Best,

Paul

Eric,

Richard's on target too regarding their coverage service and criticism of it.

And I think he's correct about good writing.

Getting your script in the right hands is literally getting it to the person who is genuinely excited about your vision.

Hi Mary Kay,

Hope this helps-- www.brooklynfilms.com Michael Helman (founder) Brooklyn Films P.O. Box 20412 New York, NY 10021 t 212.744.2845 f 212.744.1130

e brooklynfilms.com

www.walden.com CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS Walden Media, 10 East 40th Street, 26th Floor, New York, NY 10016 p: 1+212.689.5420 f: 1+212.689.5437

Best,

Paul

Hi, Gil

I don't think anyone's talking about shortcuts. But something like Script PIMP is a tool. And it's a very different tool than something like WSN, which is different from Moviebytes, which is different from The Hollywood Reporter, which is different from GLM, which is different from personal contacts, etc.

It all involves work, rejection, smoozing, etc.

The walls are there but I do know that I've been able to use a few of these tools to get my work directly to the people who make decisions. I wouldn't have gotten them to read a query letter let alone a script without some of these tools.

Best,

Paul

Hey, Grover,

This is a good question. Do you want to give it a separate post?

To answer:

I look at the locations, time period, FX, etc to help determine the range. WSN now automatically checks 2 budget ranges when you choose one. So if you choose 5 million and under it also checks 20 million and under.

I also try to find a few comparable films that have been done in the past few years and scope out their budgets. That's pretty helpful in judging basic budget ranges.

I think WSN may also have some guidelines.

How about making the topic a separate post now?

Thanks,

Paul

Rock on, M.K.

Rock on, Orlanda.

Paul

I think the actor connection is difficult. You may have a friend of a friend who knows someone and can get it to them. But it is quite tenuous.

If they have a production company that can be easier (and many of them do); some take queries some don't.

Recently I was contacted by a star's agent who requested my script. That was a few months ago off WSN. The star seems to be looking for a new type of thing to do (a different kind of role) so my synopsis appealed to her.

That's been my only experience along those lines.

Paul

I agree. Currently I'm using Final Draft and recently it was exceptionally helpful in tracking certain characters and revealing when one was absent from the script for too long.

The formatting is great but the other tools make these programs extremely helpful

Paul

ONE OPINION

I have never used this site but I just visited it and can say that I will never use it.

I have a few problems with it.

First-- you have to buy a cd before you can pitch. There's plenty of folks to pitch a logline to who don't make you buy anything. Also, there's services out there who will post your loglines. Some like WSN for a fee and others like Hollywoodlitsales.com who do it for free. (I've had requests for scripts from both).

Second: it's for anyone with a high concept idea. You cannot copyright an idea and, although I am NOT saying anything underhanded is happening here, I just think it's a risky thing to do. Especially if you don't have a script.

Third: I don't find it to be geared towards writers but rather folks who want to win the lottery.

Finally: you're paying a fee (the cd) to one person to consider your ideas. With such limited exposure, you've actually raised the odds against yourself.

Okay... I'm done.

Best of luck,

Paul

Troma stuff tends to be plot driven.

I can think of artsy stuff with out a plot-- My Dinner with Andre, Last Year at Marienbad (sp?).

Eventually we, those of us who read scripts and watch movies want the jokes to pay off in some way and usually that involves character and plot.

I've written a decent amount and helped develop others' work as a professional and teacher . For my own work as well as others I always say, don't fall in love with anything in your script especially the jokes. You can always write a good joke (heck I once took a masterclass with a guy whose first job was writing 300 jokes a week, of which 50 would be used)

So, for what it's worth, I'd sacrifice some of the yucks for character and plot. If it's that funny, then losing some of it won't hurt. And character and plot never hurt any work that actors have to perform.

When in doubt catch some classic Chaplin and Keaton.

Best,

Paul

Thanks, I appreciate that and I will.

Best,

Paul

Having not used them, then used them and then gone back to not using them, I can say, first, I don't miss programs like Dramatica Pro.

If you need help in getting your script going, they're okay for that (then again, there are many fine books that help in this way); but I found they could be more limiting, annoying, and non-creative than anything else.

Ethical? Sure. Homogenizing-- yes.

Do they help you write a great screenplay? Well, I don't know if any of these software developers have won any of the big screenwriting awards lately. Probably not.

I hope this is more on target.

Best,

Paul

I agree. It really reinforces the idea that writing is in some way easy and makes for laziness and a paucity of creativity.

Gee, a program that can REWRITE! That would be something.... or not.

Paul

The latest issue of Script Mag has a page of them (about ten).

Paul

This is what I have

www.scsfe.com

Best,

Paul

Rich, Joan, etc--

Break a leg!

Paul

Except... to those who hate us and our leaders... we're the evil empire and, to them, they are right... Does that mean they should take out our leaders?

Also, if this is what we are going to do then we'd better get ready to go all over the place-- where next-- North Korea? What about all those Middle Eastern countries ruled by despots? Let's go back to Vietnam. Do it right.

Howard Dean said last week on Tim Russert's show that Saddam had been in check for 12 years and that seemed to be working fine.

I'll state it again, I'm no fan of SH. Yes, he's evil. But if we're the arbiter of evil, does that mean we're all ways right, does that mean we're the World Court, does that mean we get to play God?

Well, I guess we'll be busy awhile cleaning up all those evil leaders. Let the Crusades begin!

May all our troops be home soon (although that does not seem to be the case).

Paul

also, if they hav final draft, they can convert it back and it will be tha same length.

Paul

Then we should prepare the world for this vision, divide and conquer, and shove it down their throats?

I don't think the law (moral, constitutional, world, etc.) is founded on (I'm paraphrasing you, sorry if it's not right, I hope it is) "If we weren't the strongest nation someone would be doing this to us." That's called chaos.

I know wars are inevitable-- I don't believe in any utopian society/world.

However-- I do believe this is a misguided effort.

I believe this for pragmatic reasons.

We're heading into dire straights economically in this country and it's not like the old days, a war will not help the economy. But a long term, large scale occupation of foreign soil will cost us a lot of money.

Finally, I've said this before in this posting, bringing "freedom" to people doesn't tend to work. It needs to come from within. Does anyone think when we leave Afghanostan they're going to have a stable government? We will have to be there 10 years mininmum and then it probably won't work.

Finally, believing in a global society, I think, is as misguided as believing you can irradicate war. The irony is trying to create a lobal society, inevitably, leads to war.

As I recall a few other countries had global ideas-- Greeks, Romans, English, Germans, Japanese... etc. how'd that work out? The new global society has new ideals.... Those people thought the same thing....

I love this country... because we can disagree and still be one. I consider myself lucky every day that my Grandparents came from Russia and Poland because they saw a chance to work extremely hard for a new life. That was almost 100 years ago. When I look back at the history of Europe these past 100 years and what we have had here-- how lucky I am.

When this war happens, I do hope it's a neat and quick (what a paradox that is) as a war can be.

We're very lucky to live in a country that can be divided at times but still be one.

Best,

Paul;

Hello, John,

Just to confuse the issue-- if the W's are "wins," then I think it would be written W's.

But if you literally mean double -u's, then write it that way.

Best,

Paul

Oh, I dunno, the whinning's sort of interesting and charming.

Just kidding.

I'm going to go write a comedy now. Because I really need to.

Paul

I've gotten good and bad notices for my plays.

Marilyn Stasio once crucified me in the Post. That was a notice. (took about 4 years of writing for that)

I met playwright Amilyn Grey (How I Got the Story, etc) and when he heard my name, he stopped a moment and said, "Oh, I've read your plays. I really enjoyed them."

And I said, in my most stupified voice, "You have?" (that was around year 6)

I write because I don't want to be recognized. The writer, unlike the actor, can remain relatively faceless. That's very nice.

Paul

Okay, here's the irony, Maria--

You don't have a profile. How do you expect people to recognize you?

Best,

Paul

The good thing is... no matter where you are on Iraq... at least people care. I think when we can't debate and disagree or don't have the interest or civility to do so, then our country's in trouble.

So, I guess we're pretty healthy.

So, which is over first, March Madness or the War?

Paul

One way to find out if the on-line publication is legit is to report his practice.

If he's still there writing for them after that, you've got your answer regarding that e-zine.

Paul

Wow... so much I should be writing and here I am.

Thanks, M.K., just because someone disagrees with a policy of our government does not mean they are anti-military, anti-American or anything like that. It means they are thinking and speaking out. That's what makes us different from places like Iraq which is one of the reasons, I believe we are there.

To clarify a misconception made by those gloating over the Iraqi's who are surrendering. These folks have been conscripted and are serving under the threat of death. They've been put in a Catch-22 situation and now there's a way out. They are neither Republican Guard nor volunteers. They are ill equipped, undertrained and probably want nothing to do with S.H. Similar to those used by the Russians against German during WWII. They were untrained, often political prisoners and made to attack with the full knowledge that they were cannon fodder. Why'd they go and fight? The real Russian Soldiers were entrenched behind them ready to shoot anyone who would not fight.

Warren, all I can say is, well said! Thanks for your perspective and your service.

Finally, one of the reasons many folks have a problem with this war is the fact that we appear to be the aggressors. Traditionally we have been reactionary. This war is an action done out of fear; not in self-defense. There's a fear that something may happen. If we continue to act like this our military will be very busy.

What I want is an actual Declaration of War declared by the congress. But no, neither political party nor any or their members are willing to take responsibilty for a war, nor is the president willing to risk the fact that he may not win that vote. Remember the Constitution? Acts of War without Congressional approval are not allowed. Then again, when's the last time that happened?

Hoping we win quickly.

On a lighter note: Anybody got a good pick for the Tournament starting in 15 minutes?

Paul

Okay, one more thing...

When's the last time we had a war rip through our country? And I mean totally destroy the country? About 150 years ago.

Most of Europe spent the better part of the 20th century seeing their countries totally destroyed and their populations decimated.

Yeah... I don't think I'd want to see another war either if I were them.

Paul

Yeah, unless you're simply doing it as an exercise and not going to try to market it or if it's in public domain. (if it's been published/copyrighted in the past 80 years or so it is not in public domain.

Paul

ChickFlicks 116 N. Robertson Blvd. , Los Angeles, CA 90048, United States Phone: 310-967-6541 Fax: n/a

   Rebecca Heller Dir of Dev

No email/website available

Paul

Chinatown

Evelyn Mulray: What did you do in Chinatown?

Gittes: As little as possible.

(Gittes then mutters the same line at the end of the movie , which send Escobar into a rage)

Some Like It Hot

Last scene:

Jack Lemon (exasperated, trying to explain to Joey Brown why they cannot get married to him, whips off his wig and in a male voice says) I can't marry you. I'm a MAN!

Brown: Nobody's perfect.

Hi, John,

I can't get that address to work.

Is it correct?

Thanks,

Paul

Thanks,

To paraphrase that site-- works for me!

Paul

This is what I have if the other doesn't work:

www.asascreenwriters.com/

Best,

Paul

Hello...again...

There are many snake pits in this world (we don't pay attention to most of them)

People actually believe S.H. is connected to 911 even though there has been no evidence of this. I hear this over and over again as one major reason as to why we are doing this. Saudi Arabia has various connections, including money and citizens.

ONCE AGAIN-- I AM NOT A FAN OF S.H. However, with the invasion of Iraq I do not understand what this nation's foreign policy is?

Can someone, anyone,explain our foreign policy? And an explanation such as we've got to get rid of evil people in the world is not a foreign policy. I'm honestly wondering if there is some doctrine guiding this administration.

I ask this because after hearing the evolution of reasons from our leaders as to why we are waging this war and after watching world reaction, I feel many people are confused and intimidated by our actions.

Any place where our foreign policy is clearly delineated?

Thanks to anyone who can clarify this.

Paul

Since nobody answered my question, I am working on the premise that nobody knows the answer.

The question was "Can anybody state what our foreign policy currently is or does anyone know a place where it is clearly explained...?"

Which means perhaps there is no rationale foreign policy in place.

Thanks for the Dennis Miller, Michael. At least he puts things in perspective.

And I am outta here!



Paul

I agree.

I recently got an e-mail from Storybay because I had submitted a logline/synopsis to a production company that uses them.

Steve and Deb make sound points.

It's an expensive way to go.

There are many fine production cos. that will consider your work without charging (what's that about?)

For feedback I have two people I go to (both industry folks whose opinions I trust and who are tough as nails) who are long time colleagues. I trust these folks much more than someone I don't know who's reading hundreds of scripts a year. I've read hundreds of scripts a year-- guess what, you do start looking for reasons not to do things rather than reasons to do things.

I would do 3 things, rather than use this type of service: 1) Find 2 or 3 people who will read your scripts who are knowledgeable, critical, and interested in seeing you improve and succeed.

2) Take a class, masterclass, seminar, etc from a pro or two.

3) Submit to the many and the legit who don't make you pay to be read.

Good writing!

Paul

Thanks, Michael.



Paul

Ron,

Your premise re: Peace Activists is flawed from the beginning in that you contend that they are against our retaliating for the 9/11 murders.

If this were true, then there would have been protests during our invasion of Afghanistan. There were no big protests.

I'm not a peace activist, I am neither a war activist. There are times when force has to be used. There are times when there are much better choices.

We'll win this war on some level. The longterm effect and results will ultimately determine its efficacy. I think we're being very inefficient in our use of money, troops and resources and the next 10-25 years in that region will be a resouce and money trap for us and further destroy our economy.

You know the Greeks defeated the Persians twice in ten years about 2500 years ago. It lead to fifty years of greatness for Athens (meaning a great economy and all that goes with that) and then to a decline which destroyed them as they continued to use their military power until their allies said enough.

Don't delude yourself with the sentiment that things were a lot simpler then-- they weren't. Although we use phrases like global society, the basic human workings of politics, war, government, etc. are really not much different because, to quote the The Muppets Take Manhattan, "People's is people's." (Hey that's another message board)

Paul

Michael Moore grew up in Flint, Mich., his first film to catch everyone's attention was ROGER AND ME. He's been a prominent film maker for at least 12 years (maybe more like 15).

After we win it will not be simple. Getting rid of SH will be the easy part of this.

To dissent is American.

To roll over and blindly follow is what happens in totalitarian nations like Iraq and the former Soviet Union.

Enjoy the spring. Take a deep breath.

Paul

Thanks, D. Jay and Michael.

I agree.

I used to say one of the great things abouyt this country is everyone is free to be a moron and a fool. And that fact is proven every day by most of us.

You ever see Michael Moore in action? Nerdy but nervy.

I've seen him take on big corporations in his films and in shorter pieces. He does it head to head with the big guys and asks the questions everyone is afraid top ask, except him. He doesn't back down when most would. The one thing that he seems most concerned about is the fact that it's the American worker who often gets the shaft while the higher-ups go scott free.

Roger and Me is about how the auto industry abandoned America and yet all those execs got great bonuses.

Best,

Paul

Thanks, Marcel, I'll second Miriam, this is a great thread!

I'm in the home stretch of finishing a nonfiction book and a screenplay, both on the same subject

I recently finished a new screenplay-- a comedy.

I'm waiting to hear on a writing job I'm up for (I hate waiting).

I'm not finding enough time to get queries out and that's frustrating.

I'm enjoying the fact that it's Spring and after four months you can finally see the ground again. Play ball! It's time for another summer of heartache in New England!

Paul

I like to say a sincere Thank You to Steven Calderwood for posting the Brody rules/tips.

They are really basic and fundamental to technique.

Can you break them? I don't see why not. There are many fine films that do.

But overall they are sound.

Imagination-- very important. But often people mistake self-indulgence for imagination.

Thanks,

Paul

PS When somebody does something nice for you, do you really think it's proper to get into an insult fest? Thanks again, Steven.

Yep.

And it tends to be mailed out on Sunday evening/night.

Paul

I subscribe to SHOWBIZDATA.COM and one of the many features on that site is a search engine for agents, actors etc. (That particular service may even be free).

A lot of info on that site and, as I recall, not expensive. I've found contact info there that I cannot find anywhere else.

Best,

Paul

I have a phone for Red Strokes

Phone: 310 786 7887

No website that I know of.

Paul

Well... you know how I feel about that.

I keep thinking-- maybe it's the war.



Paul

I'm out of here.

I have more important things to do than be therapy.

Thanks to those who understand professional decorum.

I don't work with kids or animals on any level.

Thanks all,

Paul

No, but seriously, what IS a logline and synopsis?

Really?

Paaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuulllllllllllll

made sense to me.

which is kind of scary.

Paul

I've noted that lately some other boards have some verifiable company's looking for scripts-- Hollywood Lit Sales and Screenwriters Market Place (there are, of course, some bogus folks on there too).

I've had quite a few hits on WSN also. Just before the Oscars a lot of activity and requests for scripts. Since then the hits, except for the first few days of the war, have been fairly consistent.

Paul

Okay, now I'm confused.

There's Circle of Confusion the agency in NYC.

Are they affiliated with the producing organization?

Paul ala his own Circle of Confusion.

Thanks, I didn't realize that they did both.

Paul

"Eeeee-mer-gen-cy, Eeee-mer-gen-cy, Every body to get from stritt." THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING, THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING.

Did she? I thought she took a sabbatical. Not sure.

Paul

I think she owed me five bucks. Very suspicious. Oh, no, that's Venus Williams. Never mind.

Paul

I'm in the same boat--

Nichol and Script Mag.

Paul

I agree.

Maybe there's someone out there who has seen this happen but I have never seen anyone get behind a project after suggesting rewrites without forking over $$$ first.

Writing to their specs assures you of nothing, rewriting for someone invested (literally) in the project reaps at least minimal rewards and commitment.

You're better off writing to your specs and having people with a trained eye who are critical and you trust to give you input.

At least, that's what I've found (having been on the coverage side for new plays-- 300 to 400 a year for 4 years--, the teaching and critiquing side for plays and screenplays and the writing side for plays and screenplays.

Best,

Paul

Why, why, why, why, why, why, (you get the idea...)?

She was your MENTO...?

Well, she was my MENTA...

So ther

Pau

I just re-read Veen's message in "To Continue or not," and I've got to say that woman's advice was golden!

I've got to go, I'm all choked up.

Pau....."sob"....l

I believe also (and someone correct me if I'm wrong here) that Script PIMP has to first read and accept the material (there's a reading charge)

WSN has been great for me; it's connected me with quite a few folks and gotten my scripts to people I could never get to with a query.

Paul

Oh, yeah!!

Paul

something's changed?

Paul

Mr. Storey,

Your voice sounds so familiar....

Paul

Response to the last posting:

WSN checks out the producers and agents.

I have scripts out to high power agencies, stars, and name production companies via WSN.

I am not demeaning ScriptPIMP (I subscribe to both sevices) and find both to be well run. However, one person's good coverage is another's pan.

paul

Break a leg, man-oh!

Paul

PS I believe blessings are forever (or at least the length of the project)

I agree- email queries seem to work well.

There are some good articles on various sites on the do's and don'ts

I've found Scrpt PIMP, ShowBiz Data and Global Literary Market to be useful databases in this area.

Paul

I'll probably go for it. Still unsure what I'll submit. A few years back I was lucky enough to be a semi-finalist (top 100 or so).

But any contest, no matter how you finish, is a crap shoot. I've chaired a few playwriting contests and been on other panels that give $ to artists-- at some point it gets arbitrary and comes down to judges' personal preference. This fact is neither good nor bad-- it's just the nature of the beast.

Break a Leg to all!

Paul

Kathleen sort of brought up this topic in the Krupp discussion. (thanks, Kathleen)

What do people out there feel is a reasonable amount of time for producers or agents to get back to you?

And do you contact people if after a resonable amount of time you have not heard from them?

What is that amount of time before you nudge them?

Just wondering how others feel about this.

Thanks,

Paul

I use Final Draft for the ease and some of the tracking features (when did we last see that character?)

Paul

I can't believe this thread is still going.

Then again, I can't believe Samuel Beckett made a career out of writing about how life has no meaning, thus, giving his life meaning... Or did he?

Oh, I just heard we might be going to war with Iraq... anybody hear about this?

Paul

Terry,

I appreciate your message and agree with you wholeheartedly.

You come with a perspective I can't even imagine.

Best,

Paul

I don't think it works ( from a story perspective) If he doesn't get the job and then reacts to that by...actually stealing (I'M NOT SUGGESTING THIS AS A REWRITE BUT MERELY AS AN EXAMPLE) then the non-change becomes a plot point because it makes him change.

A Basic Question:

What does he want, what's his demanded objective, motivation, raison detre (sp?), etc. What does he care enough about to go through hell and high water for me to be interested in him and care about him? Why would I spend two hours watching this guy?

At least that's how I see it.

Best wishes,

Paul

I'm praying for you and wishing nothing but the best.

Paul

(I'm back on this one a second time)

I agree with folks regarding the lists and rundowns you can do. It's great to be able to track characters, scenes, location in terms of understanding how your story is progressing etc.

I just finished a script and found these features to be essential.

I've also used Scriptware but I went back to Final Draft.

Paul

BOBL!

(BEST OF BROKEN LEGS)

Paul

My roots are in playwriting (and my branches in screenwriting)

Book recommendation: THE ART OF DRAMATIC WRITING by Lajos Egri.

Exercise recommendation: One acts are a good place to start 10 Minute Plays (10 pages) can create certain restrictions that can be helpful.

If starting with a one-act read (if you haven't already) some classic one's: RIDERS TO THE SEA (SYNGE); TRIFLES (GLASPELL); THE BOOR, THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL (CHEKHOV); THE ZOO STORY (ALBEE); and MISS JULIE (STRINDBERG)

I've found creating limits (# of characters; setting) and setting goals regarding technique (I'm going to use three props and each will do the following-- define character, contribute to the development of the conflict, and have poetic/symbolic power [NO GUNS PLEASE]) can be helpful.

Break a leg,

Paul

Having run a lot of development programs, workshops, classes, and seminars and having taken quite a few also, I have a few basic ground rules from which I work with writers.

1) The purpose of my input or anyone's in a workshop should be to help the writer realize their vision. Not my vision, not Arthur Miller's, not Mamet's, not another student's or participant's. THE PURPOSE IS TO HELP THE WRITER ACHIEVE THEIR VISION.

2) A writer, in fact NO ONE, can improve their work based on only negative criticism. Growth comes from building on the positive. Even if it seems immensely difficult in some instances, before you offer negative criticism, you must start from the positive.

3) The purpose is not for participants to show how witty, cutting, insightful or brilliant they are. The purpose is to help a writer improve their script.

This group sounds... well, I wouldn't spend five minutes with them. Get opinions from people who "get it," who understand your work, and are brutally honest from the viewpoint of wanting to see you grow.

All my best,

Paul

Hi, back again for this one with a different angle from my first posting.

This is a personal thing, but I never show anyone my rough draft (that is, something I just put on paper). I rarely show what I would consider a first draft.

My reasons are: 1) if it's in the formative stages I don't want feedback. (especially from a group) If I'm having a problem and want feedback then I'll run my question by one of two people who I really trust (both their honesty and background/training) 2) I want to figure out what the piece is before I get any feedback. That means, for me, having a premise, often character profiles, a one to four page outline and a first draft with some polish on it. I really want a strong foundation so I can gauge the usefulness of opinions.

My take on group feedback. I've been in small (8-10) writers groups and been involved as a writer, director, and dramaturg in large public feedback session (150-200 folks).

Everybody brings an agenda. Sometimes it's their feeling about what art is, sometimes it's their frustrations, sometimes it's an uncanny ability to gauge their remarks to the work at hand.

I tend to listen and watch the audience at hand when the piece is being read. Often this ebb and flow reaction tells me more than any comments I'll get later.

Paul

You've gotten a lot of good advice.

Remember-- if you rewrite the sucker you can enter it again next year.

But, more importantly, it's all process. Everytime you write, you get better at it.

Best,

Paul

One.

That's all I ever enter in any contest.

I enter what I believe is my best work and to me that translates into one script.

One year in the Nicholl I didn't place at all, another year I was a Semi-Finalist.

Break a l...e... .........g!

Paul

Tough question because (as noted above) scripts aren't written they are rewritten.

I have about five or six ideas that I've either put into premise form and/or synopsis/outline. This is usually the case for me.

First draft (once I've got the premise, etc., set) about three weeks. I'll then rewrite this draft (2-4 weeks).

Premise and synopsis: Onw week to five years (where do you get your ideas from?)

Second, third, etc drafts... well it depends on when I solve the problems.

I guess where I'm coming from is here-- I usually have numerous projects in various stages of development. The average time to get a script to where I feel it's ready to sell ranges from one to two years.

That's for spec work.

When writing plays or video scripts under contract (which I've done quite a bit) then the contractor controls the deadline and that can be a few weeks to a year. Whenever it is, it's got to be actor/director ready.

Best,

Paul

I have nothing to say either.

So, hi!

I have not checked Vanderbilt out yet but may tonight and let you know if I find anything.

Best,

Paul

The best way to judge your work is from a distance.

This happens to me all the time. And it's not just a writing thing; as a director of stage plays this always happens to me a few nights before the first audience come in. Your distance in that case is the audience reaction.

Hang in there. Write something else. Any thing!

Best wishes,

Paul

D Jay...

Gloria's that strong after breaking her back a few years ago?

Wow, the wonders of modern medicine!

Paul

Is this a new post or a newel post?

("I love you you old house..." Jimmy Stewart after the newel post comes off in his hand....)

So, the new newel post is posted.

P a u l

Thanks, Ellum.

Paul

Screenplay: A Blend of Film Form and Content by Margaret Mehring

Good Scripts, Bad Scripts by Thomas Pope

The Art of Dramatic Writing ( this book is really not medium specific) by Lajos Egri

I think the best screenwriting books are screenplays of proven, well written movies in manuscript form; analyzing ten or twenty of those beats reading 100 books. Going to the source has always made the most sense to me.

Best,

Paul

I agree with all above.

I haven't sold anything through them yet but I've gotten my loglines and scripts to some well established industry folks and made good contacts.

I find the preferred newsletter to be well worth the money.

Money wise-- if I had to choose between entering a contest or two and using WSN-- I'd go with WSN.

Best,

Paul

I think as you learn the craft (any craft) you become more discerning.

There's always been a lot of mediocre stuff and trash out there; if there weren't, just think of how many GREAT plays, novels, paintings, etc. there'd be in relationship to the number produced. There aren't that many.

Think of it this way-- how many movies from 1936 are still viewed in relationship to the number that was made?

Okay, that's my take.

Paul

Thanks.

Paul

In the theatre when you are in a theatre space or dressing room it's bad luck to say the name of the Scottish play (the one by Shakespeare with Macduff in it) or to quote it (unless you're in it)

(I'm not joking and a lot of people believe this)

If you do quote this cursed play, you are cursed. But there is a way to remove the curse and, perhaps, this same ritual may alleviate a bad blessing.

Here it is:

You must go outside the theatre [perhaps do this at a movie theatre?] (someone has to go with you, but they stay inside); the person with you closes the door once you go out.

You then turn around 3 times counter clockwise, knock on the door. The person opens the door and says "enter." Upon entering you curse (any curse will do) and then you are free and clear.

{This ritual is done in the movie/play THE DRESSER by Ronald Harwood who won this year's Academy award for Best Screenplay)

It might be worth a try. It's either that or exorcism.

Break a leg--

Paul

Congrats and Break A Leg, Gil.

Thanks to all.

And, I read your other latest post, Gil: All's Well That Ends Well.

Paul

Thanks all. I appreciate your good wishes.

Best,

Paul

I'm new to the contest thing but for years I've heard very good things about Austin. Their DL is also coming up.

Paul

Emma Thompson

Paddy Chayefsky

Ingmar Bergman

Back to the Original Question--

I write 50/50. For no other reason, but that's what I write. Megaplex 50% tends to be comedy/ Art House 50% tends to be historical drama.

The ratio for my viewing is also 50/50. However, I like many more types of films than the two types I tend to write.

Go figure.

The producer/reader'director, etc is your audience. If they don't think your script has an audience, then they aren't going to make it. But you cannot write for a trend, you can only create a new one.

Best,

Paul

Hi, Terri:

I'm in my second cycle for the newsletter and highly recommend it (as have others). Especially if you have a range of scripts.

But the biz decision is yours, of course.

Best,

Paul

Dear Ron,

Wishing you nothing but the best here, there and everywhere.

Your post has taught me a life-lesson about dignity and courage.

Some of the best writing I've ever read. It comes from the heart.

Thank you,

Paul

Paula, D Jay and James

Kudos and BAL in the next round!

Paul

I have to agree with the others. Reading articles written by agency heads, producers, and directors you'll find most want exactly what Terri and David have said.

My experience in new play development and in running play contests is the same. I used to read about 400 new scripts a year. I didn't want art work, I didn't want fancy covers, I didn't want anything that would divert me from getting to the script and reading it.

I always wondered when someone took the time to create artwork or fancy packaging, why they didn't use the time instead do write another draft of the play.

Just my opinion.

Paul

I'm partial to many of the above, including Chinatown. Others-- Witness, Network, Rebel Without a Cause, Some Like It Hot and Bonnie and Clyde.

The story on Paddy Chayefsky is that he learned to write drama by sitting down at a typewriter (remember those?) with a copy of Lillian Hellman's THE CHILDREN'S HOUR and typed out each line analyzing the script as he went along.

And then there's the comment Jack Lemmon made about 20 years ago. He was asked how he chose a role. His answer-- When I read a part and I have absolutely no idea how I would play that character, I want to do it.

Happy reading leading to better writing!

Paul

Yeah, I've seen quite a few very fine scripts turn into really bad movies and it had nothing to do with the writer.

My production credits are in the theatre and as a writer I've had my plays greatly improved by fine directors, actors, designers, prodcuers, etc. and, at other times, I've had them suffer from inadequate directing, acting, designing, producing, etc.

Oh, yeah, and I've written some stuff that's been produced that suffered from terminal writing. My fault, guilty as charged.

Still, I'm a fine dramaturg, teacher of writing, and director of new plays. I've also run a bunch of well established playwriting contests (no longer) and served on various state arts agency panels.

No one's perfect. (In baseball 3 for 10 is pretty damn good for hitting). And some of your best judges of young hitters never hit above .250 in the majors.

To repeat what Collen said, I'm not attacking you, Kevin. But I'd say if we put 5 Academy Award Winning Writers as a panel of judges, there's no certainty they'd be good at it, even though all five may be great writers.

Best of luck,

Paul

Yo, Gil!

Congratulations on making the Finals in the WriteMovies.Com Contest and break a leg (figuratively) as you come into the home stretch!

Best,

Paul

Mommie Dearest because it is sooooooooooooooooooooooo bad, it's beyond good.

Paul

I'd say follow your instinct on this one.

A bad agent is NOT better than no agent. (Been there, done that)

If they're representing themselves to you in this sloppy manner, how are they going to represent you to others? Writers are supposed to be driven to write, shouldn't a good agent be driven to represent his/her clients in the best possible light so that you both make a lot of $$$$$?

Paul

I like happy endings too. About 3/4 of my scripts have happy endings. The others... well... let's put it this way, you don't want to see them if you've had a bad day.

Then again, many of the great roles are in scripts that are real downers.

With Melancholly,

Paul..ly

And the subject was.... roses?

Paulllll

I own the KILLER TOMATO MOVIES.

REEFER MADDNESS, theres one bad movie. Ed Wood movies too.

Paul

THEY STOLD HITLER'S BRAIN

Hitler's head is suspended in this tray/liquid and ALIVE!!!

paul

Cool beans! Way to go! Wishing you the best.

Break a leg

Paul

My penny's worth--

I write plays and screenplays. I've had a lot of plays done. Made a few bucks some years. Artistically very fulfilling. No one can fire me, no one can change a word, etc., etc. Lots of control for the writer.

I started writing screenplays about seven years ago. I know, unlike the playwright, if I'm lucky enough to get a deal that there are chances of good money and good chances that I won't be on the project if it ever does go to film.

If the deal's good, I'd take the money and hope to parlay that credit and my other work into another project.

But then again, I haven't been in Colin's situation.

Hope it all works out the way you want it to,

Paul

James,

You're damn good at loglines. Thanks, you inspired me to change one of mine on WSN and for the first time on this script someone went from the logline to the summary.

Best,

Paul

PS From another post-- yes, you do get and deserve double kudos.

He was such a fine writer. To have written one of those scripts would be a career.

And another great spanning that era, Katherine Hepburn, has passed.

Paul

I agree, Terri-- they have to be identified, each character, clearly.

I work with beginning writers a lot and many times they fail to pay attention to how important a name can be.

A common problem I see, which can be very confusing, is in the use of similar names-- such as Marianne, Miriam, and Maisy. That can be quite confusing, whether they are in the same or different scenes.

The HE/SHE thing used to be done in plays about 25 years ago; not sure about TV/film.

Paul

I agree re: actors vs writers. But let's face it, most people identify with the actor because they are right in front of them and, if they are good, they make it look so easy EVERYONE thinks they can be one.

I agree too, Axelrod deserves his own thread, so sorry for putting Kate in there. I was doing it moreso because of the closeness in time of their deaths.

The thing about Hepburn was she really seemed to appreciate good writing, although I did not always agree with her in her ideas about who was a good writer.

I feel though the greatest tribute any writer can get is from his/her peers and I think Axelrod certainly earned their respect.

Best and a better mood to you!

Paul

Sounds wicked cool.

Paul

Hello,

"No multiple submissions traditionally means you may only submit a specific work to one publisher, producer, etc. at a time.

Grey Line's "NMS" means they only want to consider one of your projects at a time. They will consider you more than once but they do not want you to pitch two scripts in the same query or until they have considered one and made a decision on it. I got that from querying them.

Paul

By the way, I believe it is Marc Hernandez's stated policy that he will not contact you regarding your logline and synopsis unless he is interested. I read this online somewhere, many months ago in an article that was focusing on his company. The reason given-- he gets too many queries to respond to them all.

And that has been my exact experience. No response.

Ah, the silence of the scams. (sorry, couldn't resist)

Paul

Morris,

I have to disagree with you that the e-mail query is a form letter (at least the one's I send out are not form letters).

If I'm targeting a specific company, I will often research that company and find something very specific which I'll use to try to make a personal or individual connection.

Additionally, even if I send the same letter numerous times, it is in no way a "form" letter. At least not in the way we refer to form letters in the vernacular. The term "form letter" has a negative connotation, often implying a lack of creativity, individuality, and detail. (NOTE: I'm NOT saying all form letters are like this, but the term implies a very rudimentary, often ill executed form of communication)

I work hours to write and rewrite these letters and to taper them to the targeted reader. I'd say each e-mail query takes an average of 2 hours.

I understand that everyone will not respond to each of my queries, however to send back a form reply is not an impossible task. Many busy companies do this every day. Does it both me if they don't. No. But the one's that do, I just respect a bit more.

I've worked in the entertainment industry my entire life. I agree we're talking about small beans here. But there's an awful lot of effort put into marketing and I think there's an implication in your post that there's not. And that may just be your personal experience.

Okay, let's sell some scripts.

Best,

Paul

"Impostors present"

Okay, let's analyze the title of this post:

1) Originally, I thought the author was refering to more than one impostor, however the content refers to only one.

2) Then, I thought... okay it's not "present" as in the "present tense" but it's "present" as in "Imposters Entertainment and Impostors Group, Limited present the new big hit of the season..." But the verb tense does not agree with the subject.

3) Then...okay maybe it's "Impostor's present," as in an impostor giving a gift.

And you know what, I think the third choice is correct.

If you're going to dis and dish at least identify yourself; without that, one has very little credibility.

Finally, the generalization that this board has nothing to offer but gossip, entertainment, and back stabbing reveals that you've spent very little time on it, or that you read as carefully as you write.

Then again, maybe you want to turn this board into what you suggest it is and into what the essence of your post is-- back stabbing, gossip, and entertainment.

P Smith

Happy Canada Day! I love your ginger ale!

Paul

Hey, K!

Of all days to post this!

It's Canada Day.

Where's the compassion, where's the diplomacy, where's the La Batts and Horton Doughnuts?

P Smith

Sorry, Paula, it was a joke.

K. Smith, P. Smith. My name was still on top of the post, but very sorry if I created any confusion or distress.

Best,

Paul M.

I like this board a lot, and, also, I do not like those who play with identities. Maybe they're 12 and under and have an excuse.

Best,

Paul Mroczka (really)

K Smith is Davis Barnes?

Steve did you write the Phil stuff? It's great stuff. Who wrote that?

I feel like I'm in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

And now back to Martha and George

Paul M

I love the fourth. Especially the fireworks.

I love the Boston Pops Concert. Wouldn't go there if you paid me.

Happy Birthday to us.

Paul

James,

To define this as a pschological experiment is like saying mutilation is surgery.

Psychological experiment? Really? Where's the waiver we're supposed to sign?

Did you get a degree in psychology? Did it include extensive work in experimentation? Do you have more training than the normal 60 to 70 credits that make up a major in a 130 credit curriculum? How much psychological work have you done as a professional since you graduated from college?

If you know anything about psychology and human behavior, you know that whatever you've gathered from the posts is flawed and fairly useless, unless all reactions in your script are happening over the net.

What were your controls? Is this a double blind test?

I think you need a life. Then, again, I hate it when I act and react in good faith, only to find it's a lie.

(For every action there's a reaction? Heavy. You can take the first week of an acting class, get that information, retain it, and never go back.

There's a lot of great ways to get information for your writing, many of them don't involve the abuse of trust and behavior neglegent of professionalism.

Paul

Hi, Terri,

Over 500,000 on the Boston Esplanade (sp?) for the 4th. And that's one small esplanade.

Between the traffic, the drunks, the crowd, and the heat... yeah... I'd rather watch that one at home.

However, if the Redsox ever win the series in my lifetime, I'm going to be one of the 3 or 4 million who go into Beantown for the parade.

Best,

Paul

By the way, IQ means nothing if it lacks a moral center (to paraphrase the late Paul Tsongas). Many mass murders have very high IQs.

It's not about IQ, but then again explaining this any further would just be a waste of time. If you don't get it by now, you never will.

Signing off from this post.

Paul

148? Not bad. But why should anyone believe someone who lives by the lie?

I agree.

Banning is a bad idea.

However, with the type of behavior exhibited many will refrain from joining in the discussion.

And some will just refrain from any participation what soever.

Sad.

Paul

Some people don't want any type of stock cover, just the cover page with title and contact info on the same type of paper the script is printed on.

Sounds to me like she's one of those folks.

Paul

That's a great story!

Thanks, Terri!

Paul

Hi, Warren,

I'm fairly new (6 months) to this board, but I wanted to thank you for coming back on as an objective insider/outsider.

I think you may help us turn a corner.

Best,

Paul

Thanks. Good example. I find these things very helpful.

I finally got a high concept pitch distilled from one of my loglines. The logline was getting no interest, the new pitch is getting a lot.

Paul

Hey, Gil!

Congrats once again.

Question--

Are you going to thank people on Moviebytes in a few years when you're at the AA's (not AA the AAs) with Osca' (as they say in New England)?

And if you do, will you only thank those of us who exist, or are you going to also thank all those poorly written fakes?

Just wonderin'.

Life's a carnival, hope you get the GOLD ring.

Paul

Sorry, have done neither but congrats on the Direct to the Agents win!

Paul

I, like many others, juggle a lot of responsibilities.

Because of this, I tend to write at night 9-1 but I'll also write other times, taking advantage of any spare moment I can find. I can get a lot written in a few minutes.

Best,

Paul

COLD CALL must be a hot script.

Congratulations and BAL, Paula.

Paul w/o the "a"

To answer the question:

Best with Producers, next agents, then managers.

But Producers overwhelmingly respond more positively than the other two.

I just think that's the nature of the business.

Paul

Dialogue: a few thoughts

Bad dialogue is often more memoralble than good dialogue (CHRISTINA, NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!)

Good dialogue contains action and subtext.

Dialogue is essential but only essential dialogue is good.

Lighting designer Adolph Appia was the first to realize that the lack of light and darkness could be as powerful as light itself. Thus making the use of light even more powerful when it was juxtaposed to darkness. Likewise, dialogue becomes more powerful when heard in juxtaposition to moments and scenes with no dialogue.

Action, of course, always trumps dialogue (eg. The BOY'S dad in AMERICAN BEAUTY constantly spouts his hatred for gays, and then, in the end. puts the moves on Kevin Spacey).

Best,

Paul

Gil,

Congratulations! Originally I thought this thread was about "DEATH SHOWS," not "DEATH" shows, so I almost missed it.

Break a leg in getting this sucker sold and, eventually, in the can.

Paul

The thing is remakes/spinoffs are as old as the Greeks. Known entity with a new twist.

About 500 years ago, Billy-boy brought Falstaff back to life because Liz numero uno LOVED that character so much. The thing is, if it were my script they wanted to remake cool! But I guess I have to get it made first.

Hope we all get the three picture deal of our dreams.

Paul

True. Even though the foreign film which has been distributed in the US is often better.

Paul

Well said!

Best,

Paul

I don't believe quarter-finals are decided until August sometime...?

Paul

Thanks Greg.

Paul

The classic Oscar Host who set the bar for all others.

Lots of fun movies and a lot of dedication to entertaining those who were sacrificing so much for our country.

Although his time in the industry passed quite some time ago, it's great to be able to see him again at his zenith.

Bob, hope your golf swing and delivery are eternally and heavenly smooth and flawless.

Box Office slump...

Contest consternation...

Nobody's returning your calls...

So-- what are folks working on?

Just wondering.

Moi-- I'm working on 3 sequels (just kidding)

Screenplay-- true story about a man who, after becoming a quadriplegic in a construction accident, finds a new vocation: racecar driver. (Into Act II now)

Grant-- (playwriting) Got a development grant from a health organization to design a three year project related to health issues/the uninsured. Working on that project.

So, what'cha workin' on?

Paul

Wow-- so much here.

Just my opinion--

As some of you know, I've chaired a few playwriting contests (including the Gassner) and I ran a new playreading program for about 4 years at a Regional Theatre.

All script selection is subject to bias. This is not bad nor is it good, it simply is. I've always used coverage forms... still there is a certain amount of bias in any judging. Not a science.

This is why someone like Gil has placed well in many and not placed in others. My own script THE WATERCRESS has been doing the same in various contests (made the top 6% in the Nicholl this year).

If it made the cut (5%) does that mean it's a better script? No. It simply means it made that cut.

People judge talent, technique, creativity, decorum all the time. Writers, actors, directors, designers request this feedback. More times than not, it will be negative.

Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman was turned down by 17 Broadway Producers who could not understand why anyone would want to sit through a play about a loser like Willie Loman. Producer Kermit Bloomgarten found Willie and the play moving and fascinating. And it turned out so did millions of others. Still, there are many who hate that play and think it is a terrible piece of writing (I'm not one).

Greg Beal's finely written rejection letter is right on target in all areas. How many receive Nicholls per year? Is it 10... 5? Chances are you'll be eliminated; that's the math.

Years ago I won a highly prestigious playwriting award and I thought-- "I made it." Well, I hadn't. A few people prized my work over many others. A few months after winning that award a high profile agent rejected my work, indicating that I should never write again. (Tell me not to breathe, I can deal with that.)

Case in point: I was chairing a playwriting contest (not the Gassner) which was set up so that an independent judge who had not be involved in any part of the evaluation process up to that point, would read the finalists and choose the winner. There were three finalists and one which I felt was the clear winner. It was by all means the best written script in terms of dialogue, character development, plot, etc. The finalist judge agreed with me on all of these points, but also felt another script (inferior in terms of technique) should win because the voice of the writer was the most unique of the three. That, to them, was more important than anything else.

This is why they make vanilla and chocolate... and many other flavors.

No selection process is perfect but the Nicholl, which must handle a huge voulme of scripts, has a good one and a fair one.

It doesn't mean it's not frustrating.

It's great that the Nicholls care so much about the art of screenwriting. They've put their money into an art and a craft that we all care very much about... okay, we LOVE it... and each year if we choose to, we have another chance to compete.

You can win a contest, numerous contests, and never get produced; and you can never win a contest and sign a deal for $350 against $600. And, as one producer once said, "just because one person wants to invest a few million in getting your play on stage... doesn't mean it's a good or bad play. It just means someone want's to invest a few million dollars in something THEY think is good."

May all of us earn the prize and find our own Kermit Bloomgartens.

Best,

Paul

I think I posted this story before regarding a different subject.

But to the point:

I was in a meeting with my partner and a well known stage producer who had requested the meeting. We had written this large musical which spoofed the Ole' West movies. The producer said he was very interested in our large cast, multi-scenic, large orchestra, complex plot musical.

When we sat down for the face to face meeting, the producer, who was also close to having sex right there in the meeting with some woman, said, " I really like what you guys have done. Now if you can get it down to five people sitting on a porch strumming guitars and singing, I think we might have something."

After we left the meeting, all I could say was, "What the hell was that?"

Paul

Thanks to all who shared their current labors of love.

Anyone else?

It's just interesting, at least to me, to see what people are doing.

When I'm asked, What's the favorite thing you've written? I always answer-- what I'm writing right now.

BAL

Paul

Thanks for the Chekhov story, Ron.

Terri-- that meeting was a surreal experience.

Rich-- that last account is amazing!

Tim-- thanks for starting this thread.

Paul

Gil,

They're posted and.....

Drum roll--

Congratulations!

Paul

Question-- when did people hear from American Accolades? I've received nothing. Sent them an e-mail-- nada.

Paul

Okay, thanks

Anywhere from 2 weeks to infinity, the latter being the most likely response.

Recently I've used a few e-mail services (Scriptblaster and So You Wanna Sell a Script.) I had positive results from using both services. So You Wanna was a little cheaper, but I thought both were worth the price.

The companies who responded were usually well established and were mostly mid-sized to large.

Writers Script Network has also hooked me up with some good people.

I'm now seraching out the UK market, which is pretty easy to do on the web.

Best,

Paul

Two more thoughts--

I've found agents respond less positively to queries than Production Companies.

Script PIMP has a substantial list of folks and breaks them down according to if they will accept a query, etc.

The final thing-- if you've sent out 20 and received nothing back it could be, as David noted, that these companies are not accepting queries. There could also be a problem with the letter/pitch.

I recently changes my logline to more of a pitch line for a comedy and, instead of a full synopsis, gave a four sentence synopsis. I've received a lot more requests after doing both of these things.

Paul

Hello James,

The three you list are all very different services. I've used them all to some degree.

InkTip/Writers Script Network is a secure listing service where you can list the logline, synopsis and, if you'd like, script for viewing by their registered users. You also list your bio and awards.

I like the service a lot. It looks good, the producers, management cos, and agents who subscribe run the gamut from small to large and the people who run it are concientious and extremely helpful.

Script PIMP is not a listing service. They have profiles on producers, management cos, and agents and each profile tells you if they are open to queries, recent stuff they've done, etc. I believe about 400 of the 1000 or so cos on this site are open to queries. There's also a coverage service, and another group of folks listed on this site are interested in reading if Script PIMP recommends it.

Overall, it's a good website.

With Scriptshark you need to use their coverage service and then they'll pass it onto their network IF IT GETS A RECOMMEND. I used their coverage service once. It was okay (I didn't get a recommend) but I did do some rewriting off the critique. However, I chose not to resubmit to them.

Recently,(about 2-3 months ago) they contacted people who have used their coverage service; they are doing an InkTip type service posting scripts they passed on. This was supposed to go on line in June sometime but did not. It was then supposed to go on line in July, but I don't believe it has because they have not contacted me about it.

So, basically, I think Terri's ratings are right on.

InkTip best exposure for the money (not real expensive) plus they have a free newsletter and a preferred newsletter (I subscribe to the preferred; again inexpensive and it has more leads than the free one-- five to eight each week)

INkTip also has a hardcopy paper they send out that you can list in.

ScriptPIMP good contact info and then coverage service (much more expensive than a listing on InkTip) that can get your script to many others, but it would be a small percentage that get passed on.

Scriptshark-- basically a coverage service with a small % that gets passed on. And late on their new service. I am interested to see how it works.

To complicate things: Global Literary Market (via Screenwriters Utopia) has a lot of listings and contact info, especially e-mail contacts; I just renewed my subscription ($25/year)

Break a leg,

Paul

Terri,

I've never know anyone to get 100% responses to their queries! I'm not saying you haven't, I've just never heard of it, especially because many companies have a stated policy that they will not respond unless interested.

Are you calling ahead, finding out specific genre(s) that they are interested in, and then sending a query if they seem to be a match?

Just wonderin' how it works.

Have you used Scriptblaster or anything like that?

Paul

A few comments re: query

(These come from various sources, including people who read A LOT of queries)

Title and genre right up front. Then pitch/logline. Then synopsis.

After that experience (but Terri's correct, some want this and some just don't)

Best,

Paul

Terri,

Thanks for your response. It seems like you have a good method of making the connection and that's important.

Sorry, I didn't respond to your kind offer. At times e-mail, like life itself, gets daunting and then after a while I lose track of messages. I appreciate your offer and would love to have stuff forwarded, But I also know you're very busy.

Best,

Paul

Huh?

Paul

Colin-- congratulations!

Terri, can you submit via a lawyer? When stuck, I've done that in the past.

Best,

Paul

Great examples Terri. I love Sunset Boulevard when he's face down in the pool, dead, and he says something like..."So, I guess you're wondering how I got in this position."

Rambling Rose, another FB movie. Little Big Man? Good Fellas. Hanna and Her Sisters (I believe); The Harrison Ford, Bonnie Bedelia murder movie... can't remember the movie, based on a novel by ScottTurrow I believe.... etc

Some people hate flashbacks, some hate other techniques, and some don't like certain genres.

I think the question to ask yourself is: Am I/the reader/viewer interested in seeing how this main character got to be where they are today? A good journey is a good journey.

The other point to ask yourself, is the FB entirely necessary? Does it do more than just fill in the gaps or give info?

WE watch stuff all the time, whether there's a FB or not, knowing the person's either going to die or live. We want to know how they get to that point.

Terri's idea about not using the FB heading maybe especially good because your FB is so long.

Best,

Paul

Thanks, Terri, Presumed Innocent,

How about Chariots of Fire, Citizen Cohn and Citizen Kane?

Paul

But are we writing?

YES!!! YES, I say!

Pauuuul

I think flashbacks are frowned upon because of how deadly they are when used improperly. If a writer doesn't know how to tell a story, they often use them as pure exposition.

Also, they can be a toy for new writers-- hey look what I can do, I can manipulate time and go backwards!

But everyone's right, many many fine films use flashback (isn't CINEMA PARADISO a flashback?)

Paul

Hello all!

Anyone had any dealings with the above or heard anything about this company?

If I get some responses, I'll share.

Paul

Oh, I forgot. Just saw it.

Con artist, which I knew from his letter.

Thanks Terri.

Paul

Thanks again, Terri.

Yes, I too have been Leo Leichtered...

I wrote back thanking him for his encouragement and noting that I never react to form letters, replies that are riddled with show biz jargon or rejection letters that are actually advertisements for any type of service.

I also noted that I hoped some day my writing would be the equal of the standard set by Kandyland and Malibu Bikini Beach Club.

Those ARE his only credits-- co-producer on both.

How many fall for this stickt?!

Paul

Think he'll get it?

Paul

I think the post about the Second Gulf War far exceeded 200.

Paul

Terri,

Let's put it this way, the post on Iraq, I don't miss it.

Hope you feel better.

Paul

Thanks for the info, Terri.

Paul

Hi,

I've used both recently for two very different scripts.

Their lists are similar, but each has some unique contacts.

Like Gary, I got some top companies requesting my material. A few mid-sized, a couple of small one's.

Both services seemed well run and I felt worth it. (Got about 10 requests for my historical drama scriptblaster; about 14 for my high concept comedy, so you wanna sell) This was all in about the last six weeks.

Best,

Paul

I don't know. But they post Semis and Finalists on their site at the end of this month.

Break a leg!

Paul

Congratulations!!!

Can I have the software?

BAL,

Paul

I queried.

Never heard a word.

Dem's da breaks.

Paul

The site says "end of August."

Paul

Hi all!

I just got a rejection. Which I have no trouble with at all, because it's all part of the business and one is told "no" more often than "yes."

However, the rejection, which was very polite, contained the following--

1) three grammatical errors 2) numerous errors in syntax 3) a redundant misspelling of my script's title.

All of this contained in about 50 words; 2-3 sentences (can't give an exact sentence count because of the errors in grammar and syntax).

Who-boy! No wonder they couldn't connect with my script; they'd have to know English before that could happen!

Perhaps, at times, one should not hope for a response.

Paul

Oh, by the way-- this is from a very famous, well established production company that has been around about 50 years and has quite a list of credits. Then again, the person who started this company died about 2 years ago. So, maybe new management doesn't see the need for a thorough understanding of the vernacular by those who are evaluating new work.

But does death "take the fifth" or "drink a fifth?"

You've won a lot of software lately...can I have some?

Paul

Don't make me beg!

Thanks for your suggestions.

I'm going to walk away from this one. I'm too busy and have too many others interested in this script to respond.

Terri-- you're kind of close as to whose company it might be. But the guy who started the company was never a director, strictly a producer. His company did have an association with ABC, a groundbreaking one.

Best to all!

Paul

I just think it's best to keep writing. Then hope's always alive!

Of course, when I get one of those rejection letters, I get kind of grumpy for awhile.

Paul

Sounds very interesting.

My question is... why does ten years have to pass? I think that weakens your inciting incident.

Please take this question/criticism as a shot from the hip from someone who has only heard the sketch of your idea and who likes the idea.

Paul

Yes... and, Gil, then there's that FREE SOFTWARE!

Paul

To Clarify:

Yes, the rejection letter had the grammatical errors, etc. not the script. Sorry if that was not clear in my post.

Terri:

Okay, died within the year probably. Not a name on the tip of your tongue.

Paula:

The person who wrote back to me is the one who read the script. English is definately their second language and it is a distant second.

Yes, I expect a letter written by someone...anyone... to have some connection to the language in which it is written. An inability to write cogent sentences says a lot about one's ability to read and analyze a script.

By the way, I don't know about the majority of producers but many of the very successful ones I know (and I know a few of them who have won Emmys, Oscars, and Tonys) were English and/or Theatre majors.

I appreciate a response, but if the reader cannot get the title of the screenplay right, perhaps they're missing the point of the story.

If someone read Miller's DEATH OF A SALESMAN and wrote back rejecting DEAF SALESMAN, wouldn't you wonder about their credibility and their ability? That would be quite a mistake.

Wouldn't you wonder about the care they took?

If you don't think writers should judge producers on the same criteria producers judge writers, then how should we judge them? Do you think my response would be any different if I were contacted by the company and they said they wanted to do my "Wrong Title" screenplay? Red flags would be shooting up.

Paul

Sue-- I agree with you. I just thought it was sort of funny and ironic to get a letter like that. Just got another request for that script and got to get it out.

Terri-- I'll e-mail you the guy's name. My facts are correct, they come from his obit. (Maybe his obit is wrong).

You're right a lot of producers went to business school, but I went to school with and/or worked with 7 (all very successful-- boffo) producers of either film and tv or film and theatre who were either English or Theatre majors. About half of them got advanced degrees in the art form.

Best,

Paul

I'm a HR person. Get it online.

Paul

#32 on August 13 was the last.

I don't have AOL but get my e-mail through a system that was wormed.

Paul

I used to get the printed version but I live way outta town and so the news was no longer new by the time I opened it up.

Paul

Johnson is down! We're after a cop killer now. Let's do this by the book fellas. We don't want some judge letting him off on a technicality; so let's make sure we do our jobs.

Your request is a fair one. However, it asks one to use only a few of the tools that are available to change rhythm. You're eliminating words choice, which is one of the elements of rhythm.

Yours:

Johnson is down! We're after a cop killer now. Let's do this by the book fellas. We don't want some judge letting him off on a technicality; so let's make sure we do our jobs

Rhythm change: an example altering syntax, punctuation and sentence length without losing any words or changing words.

Now we're after a copy killer! Down? Johnson... is.... Fellas, by the book. Let's do this. Want some judge letting him off on a technicality? We don't! So we do our jobs. Let's make sure.

This is a quick example but it indicates someone under duress and discovering certain thoughts and facts as they speak.

Another--------------------

Is Johnson dead? Now we're after a cop killer! Let's do this, fellas. By the book! Make sure we do our jobs. So, let's... Want some judge letting him off on a technicality!? We don't.

Bit more moment to moment reaction and discovery of facts.

Some of the best books that deal with rhythm are by actors and directors-- Stanislavski, Uta Hagen, etc.

Paul

Sorry, I only did two.

Final example. Make it two run on sentences-- much like music... 3/4 6/8 12/16ths

Paul

Ah, yes, but we have, believe it or not, quite a few successful screenwriters who live down east.

Paul

Hi, Curt:

I don't think there's any rule here but it sounds to me like a way to get writers who write dialogue that's too lengthy to get to the point.

If I'm working with a student writer I may give them an exercise just like this to get them out of a bad habit (overwriting) and to teach word efficiency.

Similar to working with an actor who moves too much. You tell them, "You can only move twice during this speech. Make it count."

The other thing I think this script doctor is trying to do is make their job easier at your expense. It very simple to say to someone "4 line maximum," but very difficult and time consuming to give them an example of such by editing 4 or 5 pages of their ms. It a lazy way of making a point that is over generalizing about a specific technique.

There's no shortcuts in teaching or learning technique-- and besides grammar, spelling, and format-- it's the only other part of writing you can teach.

Simple question to ask about your dialogue. Go through every sentence and ask... what does this do and if it is merely expository... it is a problem. It has to be active or an actor can't play it and a director can't direct it.

Then go through every word of every sentence and ask yourself... "do I really need all those words? Can it be said more succintly?"

Best of luck,

Paul

... a larger...?

Oh, yeah, got it. Danke, Frederick!

Paul

Thanks, Bruce!

Caveat emptor.

Paul

True. One of the reasons I like it so much.

Paul

Kids get a SS # the day they are born. Actually, you do the application that day or the day after and you get it in a month.

I don't know if you have to do it but I do know it's harder to claim them as dependents with the IRS and do other things for them if you don't.

Paul

Nicholl, Sundance, Austin, Final Draft, Script Magazine Open Door, Scriptapalooza, American Zoetrope,

If Colin ever came back to this post-- what would he think?

Paul

Hi Wayne,

Having collaborated quite a bit, I've found that collaboration is usually not based on someone being an expert in a specific field (unless that field happens to be their life or a part of their life and you are collaborating with them by turning it into a book or a piece form actors)

What you want is specific information which may be garnered in may ways, and I suggest using various methods and not one.

The info you want may be found out by contacting professionals in the specific area. Many times knowledgeable folks will talk with you for an hour or so and usually they'll do it for nothing.

Seach the web.

Get some really good books.

Contact people in these areas at schools or universities.

Collaborating usually involves two folks who work well together, each bringing something unique to the table as a writer. I've collaborated on a successfully produced musical-- I brought an ability to write characters, develop a good plot and write funny jokes. My partner wrote music, lyrics, and funny jokes. We both brought objectivity. We became partners because we respected each other's work first and, when I was given and read a fledging script he was working on and we sat down and talked about it, he liked my insight and new ideas and I liked his concept.

On another project-- a straight play-- my partner brought insights into the subject based on experience and also an actor's vision for playable moments and characters. We worked as a team actually writing each line together. This project happened because we had worked together as actors and directors and wanted to write together. It worked well.

I have others I've worked with in collaboration. For the most part they've been very productive. I've never collaborated with someone because they're an expert. I've done the research and become the expert. You can too. It's very much a chemistry thing.

Best with your writing.

Pau

l

Soooo, David,

Do you now get the rhythm thing?

Paul

Hi, Wayne,

I don't know if you realize this, but you have a maximum of 20 pages before a reader has made up their mind about your script (at least, if they should read the next 100 pages).

For many people who are reading-- it's 10 pages, or 5. That's the reality.

I've spent a good deal of time in new play development and many years teaching writing for performance. In reading it takes ten pages (max) for me to form an opinion. Twenty pages and I'll be able, depending on the writer's ability, to outline the major problems relating to character, plot, dialogue, action, and structure. Why? Because everything else in the script flows from and grows out of those first 20. Leafing through the rest, I'll have a good sense of the overall structure (although this usually serves to simply confirm the judgement I've already made.)

This doesn't mean I'm exceedingly bright; nor does it mean I'm close minded or cold or lazy. It just means I've read and analyzed a lot of scripts.

I see a lot of actors audition. Thirty seconds maximum and they've either got me interested or don't. Usually, it ten seconds. Again, I am not being mean, cold,etc. I want actors, writers, etc. to be good! I love it when they are!

Writers are lucky over actors in 2 ways. First, they get 20 pages... much more than an actor gets. Second, writers don't have to directly stare into the eyes of those making the decisons.

My point is-- it is the writer's job to make the reader want to go onto the next 20 pages. It's not the reader's fault that they decide to stop reading, as long as they've made a earnest effort at reading the script.

Jerry may have given you 15 more pages than most readers.

Paul

David,

I never critiqued your dialogue, I just gave examples.

Best,

Paul

Actually,

I did dispute what you said regarding dialogue.

It is related to word choice, nuance, syntax, etc.

Hello, there!

Hi!

See ya there, kid.

Are three ways to say "hello" and they all have very different rhythms.

My examples in an earlier post do not just break the sentences into fragments; syntax is rearranged creating new meanings and different rhythms. Yet I didn't change or exchange any words.

Paul

Terri,

I think you need Diet Pepsi detox.

Paul

Mocean certainly looks legit. Is their release form fairly standard? I'd say about half of the people who have requested my scripts ask me to sign a release.

By the way, if they have not sold much yet... I think they'll probably work very hard to do so.

Best,

Paul

I agree with what's been written.

Right now, if it's a first draft, it might be good to get some feedback. Either from a writer's group (if you're a member of one), or from others who understand structure, character, etc.

Contest deadlines come around all the time and quickly, make sure the script is as ready as it can be before you send it out.

Paul

Thanks for the info.

I too have trouble with an agency taking fellowship or award money.

My experience regarding release forms has been either a release form or an attorney or agent, but not a realease form and an attorney or agent.

Paul

I've optioned a screenplay but it was a "free" option and now I've got it back.

I've had a bunch of professional (Actor's Equity) productions of my plays and been hired to write for small production companies (high-end, kind of wacky educational stuff... think Bill Nye the Science guy meets Blues Clues ala Zoom) and I've been hired to write numerous stage plays and now a book.

I wish I could just say, "Yeah, I got 350 against 600," but I can't because that has not happened (yet).

Best,

Paul

Okay, but entering it in a contest is not the way to go.

Terri is right. I put away a comedy for over a year (actually forgot I wrote it! I was kind of busy: new job running a theatre program, first kid born, bought a house). One day I find this "thing" and I read it. Pretty funny. Rewrote it.

Gave it to the three folks I trust to read and critique (all professionals in tv/film/theatre) and then rewrote it. Took a masterclass at the Film Institute in Maine from a well established comedy writer. Rewrote it. Sent it to him again and those other 3. Rewrote it. Just started sending it out this year (My first kid is now 8. Yes, I've written many other things in the interim... and rewritten them)

You need honest, knowledgeable, objective eyes and pointed criticism. At least I do.

Best,

Paul

Bill, You make a good point about it NOT being a dialogue scene, etc.

Paul

My e-mail has been down for close to a week and I noticed there's messages from people on this boad.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just trying to catch up with the 300 or so e-mails that have accumulated.

Thanks,

Paul

Sounds cool. I teach Lysistrata a lot... Looking forward to it!

Congratulations!

Paul

Hi,

I really think you're getting a bit too obsessed with the release form.

If the place is legit I'd send it in.

Paul

Mutual...Pathe...United Artists...

Oldies but biggies.

Paul

Hello,

I read Bill's post and it's not question/answer, question/answer...

It's action, question, answer, statement, question, answer, action.

Also, I believe Bill was giving a quick example. I never understand the need to offer criticism regarding an entire script based on a four line example.

Finally, I believe everyone knows this since you are writing for actors-- dialogue, every line, should contain an action. Most good lines contain both text and subtext.

An actor's analysis of their character is based on answering three primary questions, which are then expanded upon and tested against every line and physical action.

One of these questions is-- "What do I want?" It's answered in the infinitive form of the verb which makes it immediate and active.

Paul

Hi, all--

I made the second round in Austin also. This year the same script did okay in the Nicholls (next 100 in the 1/4 finals... about top 6%)

It's also placed well in others.... so...

Austin sent the pitch out about going to the festival as a Second Rounder. I've heard a lot of good things from people I know in the biz about Austin.

Question: Do you think it's worth going as a Second Rounder in terms of making real contacts, pitching, getting people interested in your work?

Thanks,

Paul

To answer Wayne's question from a few days ago:

Who am I? (meaning "I" the character I'm playing)

What just happend? (before the scene began)

What do I want? (my demanded objective, also known as motivation. It's always stated using the infinitive form of the verb. and example for this would be "to survive," which would be a different objective than "to be a hero," which would be different than "to win at any cost")

Paul

I asked the same question a few days ago--Another Question about Austin, I think it's called. (I'm a second rounder too)

I'm still undecided.

Paul

Thanks, Mary Ellen.

I really appreciate your insights. One of the things I have to weigh is what can I actually gain (I mean really gain) as far as the potential to do business. I've gone to a whole lot of seminars/workshops and have access to more if I want them and it'd be great to have a good time, but that's not a strong enough reason for me to go.

I don't know what Adrian thinks, but you've helped me a lot.

Thanks,

Paul

Good advice--

I have three primary readers:

1) a produced screenwriter and teacher (we went to grad school together and still read each other's stuff)

2) a theatre/film professional who has great insight into a story's potential.

and, oh, yes...my wife...

3) Award winning (Emmys, NY International Film and Video Fest Gold Medal, Tellys, etc) tv producer/editor. She is brutally honest, trained, and successful. And she wants me to sell stuff. I've got to tell you, when your spouse throws down a script after page 30 and refuses to read anymore because it's so bad or they disect your premise and treatment so that there's nothing left of it, you've got to have a thick skin. Then again, she just wants me to succeed.

But Jerry's right-- you need folks who know what they are talking about and although my wife does, I have no other family member whose advice I'd seriously consider. They'd just be too darn nice and/or not know what the heck they're talking about.

Get good, honest readers-- and listen to them.

Paul

Michele makes a good point too.

We mistakenly call these people "readers," when in fact they are really being asked to do much more-- analyze a script. I teach script analysis-- not an easy craft to learn.

I love the "smell" critique. Maybe you could just soak each page in an appropriate odor.

Best,

Paul

Gil you beat me to the buzzer!

"What is swordfish?"

Paul

Thanks, Jerry!

What I've found really useful is to be in group consisting of well educated writers who know their craft and know how to critique.

Having the script read aloud (when it's ready, usually not a first draft thing to do) with execellent readers and educated responders can be especially revealing and helpful.

Paul

Wishbone requested a script of mine about 6 weeks ago. They're an indie in Canada.

They've got some films out and about 8 in development.

It must be "lucky Polish guy day."

Austin called today and THE WATERCRESS made it to the Semi-Finals. (Adult Category, 1 of 20 that went on)

(Yes, I had received my Second Rounder letter and thought that was it, but they said they still has a few left to go regarding Semi-Finals judging.)

So, despite my fear of the friendly skies, I'm going to Austin.

I'm going to lie down now.

Best to all,

Paul

You establish each location and the person/action at that location (as per Ellum), then

INTERCUT: INT. JOE'S PLACE/EXT. MIA'S PLACE

The above is all on one line.

If it's character action, then it simply goes between the character's name and the line.

This won't format correctly, but imagine it does.

JOE (on phone; watching a bus drive through his room) So, nothin' new here. Wass up?

Anybody notice there's two discussions going on here?

One concerns melodrama (want a lecture on it, it's a secondary area of mine... no you don't want one... Ellum, you did a fine job covering much of it in terms of historical context)

The other concerns being "melodramatic." Writing purple prose delivered by characters whose heads seem to swell with emotion and interpreted by actors who will tend to "indicate" (to use a term of art), rather than act.

Bill was refering to your dialogue. You're confusing genre with writing technique.

The fact is writing is as much a craft as an art and both take a lot of practice (and failure) to learn.

Paul

I got the call yesterday and I made the Semis. Mary Ellen already gave me some good advice re: Austin.

Anyone else?

I believe they do not announce the Finalists until the luncheon when they also announce the winners. There's 20 semis in my category (Adult/Family)

Any sage biz advice would be appreciated.

Thanks,

Paul

Thanks, Jerry.

Kevin, I thought I read that too but it may have been on this board. What I was told was that the finalists are announced at the festival (which is October 9-12 for screenwriters)

I'll check with them.

Thanks everyone! I appreciate all of the advice and good wishes!

Okay, I've got 30 days to practice that pitch.

Best,

Paul

Thanks again!

Z.Core-- I'm not sure how many are/were left to go. I know they are/were close to being done with the Semis.... You may want to e-mail them since you haven't heard anything.

Best,

Paul

Be polite.

Rich is right, nothing's gained by doing it any other way.

Paul

Randy, you're a season ticket holder?! I WAS going to Austin, but if you're going can we make a deal on playoff seats?

(Yeah.... talk about GOLD)

I've been a Sox fan my whole life and now my 8 year-old and 4 year-old have the affliction. Does that constitute child abuse?

See you in Austin. I'm doing the Pitch competition. I've got a good fast ball and a wicked knuckler..... Oh.... what do you mean it's not THAT kind of pitch?

Best,

Paul

Ah... Randy... I just re-read your post.

What do you mean IF?

Paul

Deal.

Paul

Christine,

I've got the same deal for Houston. Red Sox vs Houston in the series.... That'd be very interesting. But I'd be rooting for the "dirtbags" ( Millar's fond description of himself and the team) all the way.

I'm doing the pitch competiton too. Do you know how much time we have for the pitch?

(I hate pitching, that's why I'm doing it)

See you in Austin.

Paul

Hey, anyone remember the "Olden Day" when this post was about AN AGENT LOOKING FOR WRITERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????

Paul

My real name is Paul Jones.

I changed it to something much more pronounceable.

Paul Mroczka

One of points of being genre specific is that you can master that type of story and, thus, become an expert craftsman/woman.

To a degree it's true. But the other case is true to-- write what you want to write.

If you write a great comedy and then a great thriller... more power to you.

Paul

I think it just has to be clear.

If the script and scene are good no one is going to stop and critique a minor point like this as long as it is clear as to the set up and who is speaking via which device.

Paul

I second what Steve just said.

Paul

Never heard of doing that. Never done that. Other screenwriters I know have never done that.

I can't imagine why one would do that.

Paul

Now this is true...

I got my pen name from some else's letterhead which read "Mr. Oczka."

Paul \:)

I too have been a finalist (3 times... ugh) and have gone to see a friend's work there.

Ever since Lloyd Richards has retired it's become the antithesis of what the O'Neill was about.

It's been few years since I've written a play, but this does sadden me. It was really a good outlet with the eye towards development and a fairly democratic judging process.

Thanks for the info.

Paul

Just think if some of the more prestigious screenwriting competitons went to this format. What a way to ensure the status quo.

To answer your question-- yes, it used to feature unknowns very prominently. It was a place to develop work and find the new voices of the American Theatre (as the Provincetown Players did from 1916-1930s).

However, many other venues have become more successful at doing that and the O'Neil has changed its focus.

They are a big freakin' deal!

Break a leg!

Paul

5 minutes... too much time!

I'd rather 3....

Okay.

See you there.

Go BoSox,

Paul

Sundance(for development) and Austin(as far as Conferences/Festivals go), but both have passed.

If you have any of the screenplay formatting programs (Final Draft, Scriptware, etc), you'll find the playwriting format is included.

Much of the formatting is the same, as some one else has noted.

Paul

They did read something of mine a few months ago; it took them a good six weeks to get back to me on the logline.

Paul

What a crazy business...

Congratulations on the top twenty letter!



Paul

When I had to do this I contacted Final Draft and they helped me.

Because I'm a dope when it comes to this stuff.

They were very helpful.

Paul

Cubs and Red Sox in the series.

THAT would be something!

Paul

PS Having grown up in NE PA, I know exactly what you mean and the Phillies and the Vet.

I called today regarding the amonut of time per pitch.

1 minute pitch

4 minute critique

Best,

Paul

Hi, Richard,

Why do you want to give an "inspired by" credit?

I'm not sure what that would accomplish.

If you're basing something on copyrighted material, then you need to get the rights. If it's public domain, there are no rights to get.

Can you give a specific example about what you're considering?

Thanks,

Paul

Hi, Richard:

Just check any of the anthologies that carry the article, somewhere in the back will be copyright info, if it's not there... then it's out of copyright. Chances are it is out of cr.

Paul

Congratulations on finishing the first and getting started on your second.

Test the waters. InkTip would be a good testing ground.

I find agents and managers are less receptive than production companies. Query folks and see what happens.

Spend a lot of time on writing a concise, powerful query letter. Create a great logline and short, interesting summary.

Best,

Paul

Congrats to both!

All my best,

Paul