Message Board

Brooklyn's e-mail address can be found in the "writers wanted" section here at MovieBytes. She's trying to sift through the plethora of trash from hack writers in search of decent ideas and strong stories, just like every agent is, but Brooklyn will gladly correspond with people who show a serious interest in becoming a screenwriter, provided their devotion to the craft shines through as well. She's trying to make a living, so you can't expect her to serve as a free script consultant, but she is, without a doubt, the most receptive agent I've come across in my long search for success. I just thought I would mention that sending a log-line to Brooklyn at Energy Entertainment is well worth the effort. Good luck, everyone.

Hey, Brooklyn:

Sorry, man. I had to take a guess, right? It didn't seem appropriate for me to ask your sex. I thought about it, and I took a shot. A lot of people name girls after states and months, but River Pheonix was named Idaho in a movie, I think, but that was just a movie. Anyway, I get called Brenda after people actually hear my voice, so don't feel bad; I wasn't trying to emasculate you. If you can sell my script, I'll let you call me "sissy" or anything you like, ok?

Brandon

I queried Brooklyn Weaver, he turned me down, I wrote back to him to tell him that only an idiot would turn ME down, he agreed to read my script, so I cam to this message board to tell everyone what a great guy he is, and in the process, I assumed he was a woman and wrote about what a great girl he is. Now my script is in the mail on its way to HIM, and HE'S readying the blow-torch, I just know it. Someone please start a post called "what not to do" and make me the focus.

Anyone subscribe? It has been suggested to me by several of the writers from the WGA mentor program and a few indie producers, but it looks like a subscription to the agents list as well as the producers list will run about $350, which will mean that I will have plain pasta for dinner for the next 4 months if I subscribe.

Truth to tell, the only requests for my script that I've received from query letters have all come from online submissions, and I'm starting to suspect that mailing query letters to agents and faxing production companies is a total waste of time. I would love to have hundreds of links to simply press and paste my query, but $350? That's a few good meals and a couple nights at the nudie bar I'd be sacrificing. Is it worth it?

I'm losing faith in this message board.

Screw the rights; change the names.

Who told you venting is healthy? Did they mean for the person venting or those being vented upon?

I've been rejected hundreds of times based on my query letter, and I can handle this. The woman who fields queries for Kingman films was, by far, the nastiest person I have ever dealt with. I'm not suggesting that people don't submit to Kingman, but they should be prepared to deal with a world-class bitch when they do. Best of luck to you all.

Hehe, that was funny. Thanks.

Anyone know what DG is talking about?

Steve, I guess so, but I never saw an appealing MOW. To me, the exploitation of some poor saps problems seems dreary, depressing, and cheap; I'd rather watch porn.

So, explain it to us, Shelley. Is he talking about me? I'm paranoid, you know; I think he's talking about me.

Balls? Balls! There's no ball in ice-dancing. If only they would put a ball or puck out there, then it would be a better sport. Put some pads on those sissies and princesses, put a couple goals on the ice, and make em ice-dance against another team. Give the sissies each a baseball bat to try and score with, and give the princesses each an iron pipe to chop each other down with. Get rid of the judges, put some blood in the game, and now we're talking, baby!

Well, if you pull up a list of indie production companies and call them, they will tell you, for the most part, to fax them. I only did it once, about a week ago. Either they are slow to respond, or they were bs'ing me, because I've only had 3-4 replies out of 30 faxes. I e-mail anytime I can, better response, no cost.

By the way, I think I might be close to having a deal in the works; I have some serious interest from a couple small production companies, and I have one notable director who seems at least curious. If one of these production companies offers to develop my script, I can't think of a reason in the world to sign on with an agent. I'm going to get WGA minimum, nothing more. I'll get an agent next time around; that's what I'm thinking, anyway. I'm writing this because I want to know if anyone here sees a fault in my logic. Is there any reason I should not make a deal with a production company without an agent on hand?

Please, only replies from those who actually know what they are talking about. Call me names, e-spit at me, do what you like; but, please, don't advise me if you're clueless. Thanks.

I'm getting sick of having to ask this, but I'll do it again anyway. Who are you talking about?????

So, I'm after this fool's money simply because my last name is Smith? Fact is, I'd be happy to take your money, fool, but I think it would be better spent on psychosomatic drugs.

When I say that I'm paranoid, I'm joking. I didn't realize that I was making a mockery of an actual disease, which seems to be on display for us all right here.

Keep your money, fool; I have no services to sell to you anyway. The only thing I'm trying to sell is my script...and possibly my body. I'd never work as a script consultant, because I can't stand reading trash from hacks or drabble from psychos, which makes me wonder why I'm inciting another outburst from an obvious wack-job right now. Well, I never claimed to be that smart, just that bored.

Steve (and all the other normal people here),

In my opinion, it takes a nervous, frightened Chihuahua of a person to feel the need to hide behind backhanded comments. I'm sure these two imagine that all the other "intellectuals" around here can clearly decipher the message behind the babbling born from an obvious fear of being direct, but that's not the case.

What you're all witnessing right here are the manifestations of the workings of pseudo-intellectual minds. Like all the people who say they see a brilliant parody hidden in the pages of "Naked Lunch", even though Burroughs admits that the book is a compilation of scribblings from a year of shooting up every day.

And, like the people who swear that they hear god-like melodies inside the experimental jazz of people like Coltrane and Monk, even though the experiment was the absolute abandonment of melody. There's no parody, there's no melody; these are rumors started and propagated by people pretending to understand something, simply because it makes no sense.

In truth, if you call yourself an artist and take a dump on a canvas, someone like DG will be there to say, "I get it, I'm superior, because I get it".

I respect ambiguity, but in art, not in essay. I respect the direct approach, because it's courageous. Let me give you an example: I think DG is a damned fool, and I'd like to reach up inside him, yank his intestines out, and then strangle him with them. See what I mean?

Am I failing to make sense now?

Meow!

Shelley, No harm done. You figured me out; I was more upset by the attack on my name.

I have to tell you all something now, but I have no real reason for doing so. I just want to share my opinion.

I posted on Zoey, but I deleted my screenplay as soon as I read four others. I respect the effort on the part of the four people who wrote those four screenplays, but not one was fit for film, and I didn't want to be the one to tell these people that their work was a lost cause. I saw a lot of nice prose, obviously from more than one student of literature, but all four screenplays were jam-packed full of superfluous information. I realized that I was reading the work of people with no concept of the strict story structure which is a necessity to screenwriting. These were people trying to showcase what they believed would be "cool" moments on film. I didn't want to subject myself to criticism from people who had no freaking idea what they were doing, so I removed my screenplay.

In keeping with that sentiment, I also decided that even if I could afford a script consultant, I would never use one. Script consultants are bound to know more about screenwriting than the people I encountered on Zoey, but I don't want to submit my work to someone who is somehow compelled to suggest change, whether it is called for or not. Think about it, if you sent the perfect script to a script consultant, could they send it back with no notes, due to it's all ready existing state of brilliance? No, they have to suggest changes; otherwise, they might be accused of scamming people.

It's too easy to get your script in the hands of those who really matter, like producers and agents. I see no reason to grant some hack the right to read my work. That's all, just wanted to share my perspective.

Author: Shelley Sorensen Posted: 02/21/02 08:12 PM

No, Mr. Smith.

[Display All Messages by this Author]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author: D.G. Balazs Posted: 02/22/02 01:59 PM

And all the other "Smiths" circulating around the world; "Making connections" to try and "seem" like one of us, then going after those purely unsuspecting souls' dinero!

================================================================================

Look where you posted your attack on "ALL" Smiths, pal. It's not my propensity to jump to conclusions that caused this supposed misunderstanding, it's your carelessness.

Mitch, I hear you, but I don't agree. I read a lot of screenplays before I see them as films, and I've read plenty of good scripts. Also, I'm sure a good director can make a good film from a lousy script, but not before he/she rewrites and makes it good.

Also, D. Jay; thanks for proving my point about there always being fools out there to declare something obvious to them when nobody understands it. Nobody has any idea what DG is talking about, but to you, it's obvious. I'll take my pill, if you'll go stand in some pretentious art gallery and talk loudly about how the meaning behind all the paintings is glaringly obvious to your superior mind. Deal?

It's tough to make your way through all the people trying to be clever here, but I understand P. Smith's comments this time. Her "on the nose dialogue" is still far from being direct. She has to make a post with an obscured title and then be prompted to explain herself, and then she can't even mention a name.

Maybe you don't like the atmosphere I've helped to create here, P. Smith, but it's more comfortable for me now. Sorry if you feel squeezed out of the fragile little world you thought you created for yourself, but that's not the kind of thing I'll concern myself with. I'm just as disgusted by people who try to be cute and cleaver as you are by me, so, in that regard, we're even.

Another thing, my post made perfect sense, unless you're unable to comprehend the references I've made to some of the most popular additions to modern-American entertainment. Maybe your over practiced cuteness has kept you from noticing what the hell is going on around you. Ahhh....I'm not going to concern myself with your intellectual dilemma any more. Peace.

Do I seem to be pissed off at intellectuals? I didn't realize that. Maybe it's because I'm the black sheep in a family of intellectuals, I don't know.

About Zoey, I understand that the idea is a good one, but the odds are in favor of gaining nothing from the experience, in my eyes. I wouldn't fault anyone for using any means they can think of to see a piece of their work brought to life, but I choose not to use Zoey.

DG, you're right; it's nearly impossible to get the right set of eyes on your work in this business, but why is that? Is it because every agent, manager, and production company out there is inundated with trash from hacks? Yeah, it is. So is every contest and web-site like Zoey; they're all full of garbage screenplays, and I gain nothing from reading trash. I'm not saying that my scripts are the greatest on earth, but I threw away at least three before I felt like I had a decent understanding of story structure. Also, I'm sure there are plenty of good screenplays on Zoey; I just don't have the patience to sift through the rest of them looking for good work.

I wasn't faulting anyone, not in the least. Even the people who take their first stab at screenwriting and then send the damned thing all over the place, I don't fault them. After all, we're all just a bunch of people who want to write and have our work read and possibly put to film, and that's a noble endeavor. So, I'm sorry if I offended anyone, I never meant to. I admit, I'm abrasive; I'll try to work on that.

Steve,

My experience is the exact opposite of yours. I wrote to so many agents, using snail-mail, and I have yet to receive one request for my script. And, out of all the production companies that I faxed, I only received two responses, and they were both negative. On the other hand, I would say that at least 50% of the agents and production companies I approached through an e-mail requested my script.

I just don't get it. At this point, I would probably stop drinking so much and scratching my head bloody if just one freaking agent would send a request for my script in the mail. I've rewritten my query letter at least 6 times, and I think the damn thing is pretty good now; I just don't get it.

So, I've decided that all the agents who demand a query letter through the mail, they can all go hump themselves. I'm never sending another query letter through the mail. When I call the agencies and they tell me that they won't accept e-mailed queries, I scream, "Get with the times, freak!", and I hang up.

After all, why would these idiots be the cause of such a huge waste of paper and money? It's not like there's no alternative. How could it possibly take longer to deal with e-mailed queries than snail mailed? It makes no sense, so I side with logic on this one.

Here's my take on it: If an agent or production company is dead-set against allowing people to use an easier and more efficient method of querying them, then they probably make it hard so that less people will go through with it; they probably don't want to be bothered, and they're not really in the market for new work. Yeah, if you send them a query letter saying that you won the Pulitzer and three academy awards for screenwriting, then, sure, they'll read your script. But, if you're a schmo like me, I think it's better to spend time dealing with agents who show their receptiveness by actively seeking scripts.

In any event, I was looking for information about production companies. If anyone has a good site which lists the e-mail addresses of independent production companies, another site like the done-deal site, then please, list it here.

By the way, I'm just kidding about the drinking and the hives. I've sent my script out a decent amount of times; if nothing comes from the interest I seem to have conjured, I'll just sit back and wait for the results of the contests I've entered. It was stressful for a while, so I started another script, which is why I come here so often, whenever I need a break from outlining.

I'm very sure that at least some of the people who read my last script would be willing to read my new one; I have confidence that I showed some promise. I'm also anxious to be a guy with two screenplays that I feel good about.

If I haven't said it enough before, lemme add this: Good luck to you all; I hope your efforts pay off.

P. Smith:

When DG made comments that I thought were probably directed at someone else, but maybe directed at me as well, I just decided to act as if they were meant for me alone, just so that I'd have some motivation for writing an angry post, something I like to do. Your comments about "on the nose dialogue" seemed to refer to my post about being direct, but, again, you failed to mention names, and you tried your best to be cute, so I really had no idea who you were trying to insult. There seemed a likelihood that you were doing your best to address me, but I wasn't sure, not at all. I simply decided to believe, for a few moments, that you were addressing me.

This is what you get when you don't have the cajones to call people out but do have enough anger to compel you to write a negative post.

I don't mind being wrong; I just mind it when people try to be coy.

Let it all hang out, I say. Spitfire and damnation!! Throw your mouse across the room! (unless it's not cordless) How can you ever put pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard without letting emotion bring you there in the first place?

After I write a few scenes of a screenplay or a few pages of prose, I'm exhausted. Writing here is like my jogging routine every morning before the big fight. I'm in training, baby, and I'll use any excuse I can find to muster up enough emotion to use as I write. When you try to be cute and fail to tell people who you're talking about in a negative manner, you supply me with that excuse.

DG,

Stay out da bushes!

Another thing, DG; are all your references biblical in nature? Get some new books!

Steve,

You paid $30 for the writer's script network?

You had 9 requests for your script, is that what you're saying?

By the way, Canada cheats!

Brandon

What's AZ? Zeotrope?

Yeah, I'm a bit of a wack-job, I admit it. I'm still here to talk about screenwriting though. Actually, I'm here to hear about the success others have had in marketing their work. If I want to ask questions about writing, I go to the WGA mentor program, or just back to the books.

What I don't get is why so many people are turned off by a little conflict. I can't comprehend the purpose of bitching about the atmosphere on a message board. Could anyone ever come up with a more useless concern? Like that Chihuahua who complains about these being the dark ages of this MB, what's the point?

Who cares if things aren't swell in Swellville?

Randy,

Don't be like that; we'd love to hear your ideas, unless I'm one of those people who make you "winch".

Hey, what are you winching? Tell us about the object being winched, the tensile-strength of the cable or rope you're using, the type of winch (hydraulic or other), and the basic direction of movement (hoisting upward, pulling forward).

I don't know about anyone else here, but I'm a winching buff.

Huddle together, children; there's a bad man in our midst.

What's the idea behind putting in an hour in the morning?

I spend months feeling guilty about not writing, as I develop an idea in my head, and then I write like a maniac for 6-8 hours a day, until I'm done. Once I've written "The End", I can force myself to sit down and work, but working from scratch, I'm on my subconscious mind's schedule.

This is a terrible way to be, and one of the most annoying things I deal with; I would love to gain some control over myself.

Mostly, I just don't feel good enough to write. I don't sleep well, and I usually feel like my mind has been dulled by exhaustion.

I would love to hear some suggestions on how to overcome this.

One other note: There must be 20 different posts on this message board right now regarding the lowly nature of the majority of "other" posts. There are at least 6 people doing nothing here but complaining about the recent atmosphere on this MB, while simultaneously begging other people to write something intelligent. The level of intelligence of this MB isn't plummeting because of abrasive people like myself, it suffers because unimaginative duds do nothing but complain and reiterate the sentiments of other duds.

Stop begging us to be as bright as you claim to be, people, and show us those benevolent minds.

Colleen, I kind of agree with you. I don't think I can force myself to write in the morning, or at any other time when I don't feel like writing. I realize that you scoff at people who need to "feel right" before they write, but that just makes apparent exactly where we don't agree.

Discipline is important, but it took discipline for me to work at the job I hated for so many years, and no matter how trained I was to get up and make my way to that job everyday, the fact that I despised what I had to do made it absolutely impossible for me to accomplish anything meaningful there.

The difference between the pro and amateur writer may be discipline, but the difference between the good writer and the knowledgeable hack (professional or amateur) is passion and talent--define talent any way you like...originality, inspiration, whatever. There are plenty of lousy professional writers, and none of them accomplish any more than anyone else who works at something they have no passion for.

Personally, I think writing is fun, but I'm sure a lot of people who feel passionate about making their mark on this world with the written word aren't as fortunate. It might be a major task to some good writers, and it is for me too, at times, but I would bet 2 of my 3 testicles that EVERYONE passionate about writing feels an unequaled sense of satisfaction whenever they reach some goal they've set for themself.

Maybe you should tell those people who ask how much fun it is to write for a living that, although it's hard work, it's very satisfying. On the other hand, if you failed to mention the satisfaction that comes with writing, and if you didn't do so because you don't feel it, then maybe you should send me one of those personal e-mails and ask me for the name and address of my last employer; I believe they're still looking to replace me.

I have seen calls for Christain screenplays, but I don't remember where.

I'm pretty sure you could find whatever I saw by going to:

www.madscreenwriter.com/wanted.htm

and following all the links.

Dude,

Don't be influenced by these people. You asked for information on contests and prodcos that might be interested in your work, and they are out there.

Personally, I think that someone who believes homosexuality ought to be, and can be, walked away from should write a script about it, if that's their desire. If someone thinks that Christ can cure homosexuality, then they ought to make that the theme to their script. The same goes for someone who thinks abortion is murder, or someone who thinks the American federal government is the current evil empire of the world.

The theme of someone's script has to be what they truly believe, not what they think others believe.

Also, I've known a couple homosexual men who have turned straight. I think it makes obvious the fact that they were never intrinsically gay, and that they were swayed by a desire to be chic. After all, anyone who thinks all the people taking part in homosexual activities are actually all gay is as mislead as those who believe nobody is born gay, and that it's a simple decision, not something innate.

Suggesting that someone burn a script because you don't agree with the theme is outrageous. I'm slightly disconcerted with most of the themes I see in films and tv shows. "40 Days and 40 Nights" seems to prioritize sex over all other aspect of the human condition, "Sex and the City" portrays women as being mentally and emotionally masculine (which intelligent people recognize as parody, but simpletons see as something to emulate), "The West Wing" portrays the white house as being full of people who actually care about the welfare of the American general public. I admit, none of these premises or themes really bother me, I just find them insulting.

I am glad that they exist though, because it leaves an intelligent audience starved for something meaningful.

Hey, I don't really think you'd let anyone influence you; I just wanted to say that not all scripts about homosexuality need to point out the challenging plight of gay people. Don't get me wrong, I don't like intolerance either, and I wish people who are actually gay would have an easier time of it.

BTW, one of my favorite lines from a movie is from "Boiler room", when the stock brokers go to Manhattan and the tough, little guy says to the gay guy, "They ought to take you all and stick you on an island somewhere", to which the gay guy replies, "Hey, guess what...you're on it."

Hey, I agree with Jimmy.

There's no greater ideal for a character, or a person, to believe in than freedom. I wouldn't want to see a gay man walk away from his natural sexuality in effort of conforming, but if he's smoking the balogna pony just to be cool, then it would make just as much sense for him to walk away from that and decide that he won't conform to doing something he's not naturally compelled to do just in attempt of being stylish.

Damn, Final Draft does that?

Does it change anything noticable?

Can someone burn me a copy of Final Draft?

After reading Jimmy's post, I might want to change my stance here.

Maybe stories involving sexuality are best left to gay writers. I don't think I've thought these issues through nearly as well as Jimmy; I just know I want some leg every once in a while.

I don't really know, but I wouldn't respond just to say that.

If I really wanted to know how long a certain genre screenplay should be to please the reader, I would call the reader. I would call agents and prodcos and ask them; they'll probably just tell you what their preference is, but if you make enough calls, you'll get a good idea.

My dramady is 120-pages, and as you can see from the fact that I called it a dramady, I never even considered the genre until I had to submit it along with a synopsis. It was longer than that before I trimmed it down, but I included a few subplots. I was trying to allow the audience to get to know the small town I used for a setting, as well as more than a few of the people in that town. It has an aura similar to "Drowning Mona", but it's less comedic and more story driven, so I think the extra weight is appropriate in this instance.

My best guess is this: If the plot is compelling, and if the pages are full of story, the extra weight has a better chance of working. If the story is simple, like many comedies, then the script being too long would probably also mean that parts of the story grow monotonous, that you've repeated the same part of the story without intensifying the plot or further developing it.

I'm in the middle of writing another dramady (I'm so genre illiterate), and I've chosen to keep the story very simple this time, besides breaking the chains of predictability, and to make it more comedic. Since my story is less involving, and since I rely on character more this time, I don't want the screenplay to be as long. I'm just writing it, being as absolutely conservative as I can; I'm not watching page counts, but I've decided that I will not submit this screenplay at any more than 110-pages. The story just isn't complex enough to hold a reader's attention for any longer.

Now, I'm not insulting your writing, since I know nothing about it, but maybe that agent was trying to tell you that you either started your screenplay before you started your story (excessive exposition...what have you), or that you have bits and pieces of superfluous information throughout the script.

No matter how strictly I adhered to the rules of story structure as I wrote my last script, when I was done, I found that some scenes never came to be as important as I imagined they would when I outlined. The story evolved slightly as I wrote, and some things just didn't have as much importance as I had anticipated, so I trashed them.

Maybe after writing, you need to review and see if any of your scenes could be omitted or replaced with one or two lines of action or dialogue occurring in other scenes.

Just my thoughts; hope they helped.

Jimmy,

If you really want to know what I think, I'll tell you.

I think that gay rights activists go a bit too far. Like someone (I think you) said in an earlier post, we are desensitized by images, ideologies, and occurrences of all types, especially when it comes to sexuality. There aren't an overwhelming number of bisexual women in this country right now because women have always been bisexual and just recently freed to act out on their impulses, but the cause of this phenomena is the desensitization of women by the degree of exposure they have to images of the female form.

Our entire society has come to regard the female body, usually nearly naked, as a thing of beauty, and I agree that it is, but through advertising and the whole media in general, we've all been bombarded with these images to the point where a new sexual urge has been implanted in the minds of naturally heterosexual women.

A few thousand years ago, the Greeks did the same thing with the male form, which is why so many Greek men spent their leisure time plugging each other and humping little boys.

If you agree that homosexuality exists naturally, then you must agree that an abnormal rate of homosexuality must coincide with unnatural stimuli.

Teaching young children to experiment with homosexuality, and attempting to make homosexuality exist in rates equal to heterosexuality using devices such as same sex marriages is tampering with nature. Just why is it that gay rights activists want children to form the impression that homosexuality occurs naturally in rates equal to heterosexuality? You don’t think it does, do you?

I have to tell you, I would have a hard time feeling compelled to debate with someone who doesn’t agree that life’s effort to exist will always lean towards creating a situation where a species propagates itself, as opposed to inactivity in that endeavor. Why are we sexually attracted to anything in the first place? Instinct always favors survival, in the being, but mainly in the species; Salmon would live longer if they didn’t swim upstream. Usually, the instinct for the being to survive serves the purpose of propagating the species.

Also, I don’t want to hear about how the world is becoming overpopulated and homosexuality is a healthy thing to keep the population from growing too fast, because cognitive thought and instinct are so far away from each other that they aren’t even related. After all, our subconscious mind makes our conscious mind feel hungry every time we have no food in our stomach, and it’s been thousands of years since the fat outlived the skinny.

Regarding homosexuality, I say, "let it occur naturally, don't promote it, don't dissuade it, and let society mimic nature".

Jimmy,

I'm no conservative; I just enjoy a good logical debate, which is what you just brought down to the level of a personal attack.

I think it's pretty funny that the guy who wrote about people buckling under just backed down from a debate on an issue, which he was declaring himself an expert.

I guess it's a good thing that they schedule no opposing viewpoint speakers on the same days that you appear at all these colleges and universities.

Tell me this, if you're not too timid to reply once more; is everyone who doesn't agree with your vision of Utopia a member of the KKK?

Do us all a favor, stop wasting good money and get yourself a meaningful objective in life. Gay people aren't persecuted; they just aren't allowed to transform society into an Orwellian nightmare.

Steve,

I'm also writing a script that will be passed on by many because of certain industry taboos. I haven't written about religion or politics or anything, but I am writing about something that scares a lot of readers away. I wish I could change it, because I really want to sell it, but I'm stuck feeling passionate about this story right now.

I have to say, I'm really not religious, and I'm damn sure no believer in Christ, but I can respect your faith. I'm also no Republican or Democrat or one of those people stuck in the middle, like moderates or independents. I abhor the simple minds that serve as proponents of the liberal or conservative ideology, but I can respect their beliefs....I guess.

With that said, I just want to give some advice, whether you asked for it or not.

There seems to be a real problem in scripts all over the place concerning gay people. I don't know if it's straight or gay people who get so wrapped up in the idea of being gay that they forget to make the character about anything else, but in my opinion, it makes the character one dimensional and boring. I'll give examples.

There's a movie on cable now about a Scottish hairdresser who mistakenly comes to America to compete in the "Platinum Scissors" competition. The star of the movie is the boss (Mr. Wick, I think), from the Drew Carry Show. The character is gay, but the story isn't about him being gay at all, he just happens to be gay. In fact, he's extravagantly gay, and this makes him much more interesting to watch. That's a good movie; I wish I knew the name of it.

In "Wonder Boys", Robert Downey, Jr. plays Mike Douglas' gay agent, and he shows up in the beginning with a transvestite. He's so gay that he ends up sleeping with the younger writer in the story; he ends up turning him. Robert Downey, Jr's character is gay and horney, but none of the story is really about him being gay, so it simply makes him more interesting. That's a great movie, and a good character.

Both of those characters I mentioned were complex individuals who happened to be gay.

Now, here's my bad example, and most people are going to think I'm an idiot for writing this, but here goes. In "As Good As It Gets", the part played by Greg Kinear(sp?) is about absolutely nothing but being gay. He's a gay man who just happens to be an artist, and every single one of his problems stem from the fact that he's gay. His father hates him because he's gay, he gets beat up because he's gay, and I even think the writer made him a bit of a wimp, just because he's gay. There is nothing to that character at all besides being gay. I really liked parts of this film, but I was so bored when we went into this long and detailed part of the plot that dealt with him being gay. Couldn't he have happened to be gay while at least some of his problems stemmed from somewhere else? It's true, they beat him up to rob him, but he was painting young men simply because he was gay, so it's still connected to him being gay.

I think that a character can be a lot of things, but when they are only about what they are, and when that's only one thing, then I tend to get a little bored. I think that a character who is brilliant should just happen to be brilliant, not only be brilliant. Whatever the case is, it bores me.

I tried to watch "Six Feet Under", and that gay guy was about nothing but being gay too. Even when he spoke to his own mother, it was always a dance around the fact that he's gay. Last night I saw an add for a new "Six Feet Under", and the gay guy is standing there talking about being gay; give me a damn break. I can understand "Queer As Folk" focusing on the issue, but it's not necessary that a gay character be about nothing but homosexuality

Maybe it's your brads that are too heavy, weighing down the script.

Or, maybe you might want to just have 10 pages # 100 in there, screw that agent, unless she represents you. Is she representing you, or are you trying to get her to represent you?

Another idea, punch holes in both sides of the script and send it to her with 6 brads; she might not be opening it in the first place.

Colleen,

It sounds like you and I share the same sleeping habits, so I thought I'd tell you about a little piece of information I've come across.

Most of the members of my family work in the medical field, and when they hear about my erratic sleeping schedule, they try to convince me to fix it. The reason they do this is because erratic sleeping patterns drastically increase rates of morbidity. It sounded funny to me, so I researched a bit.

It's true, there are terrible consequences to doing what I call "sleeping like a dog", napping when I'm tired, whenever that may be. One of those consequences is the headaches I often have, and they go away when I go to sleep at almost the same time every day.

You said that you usually go to bed the same time every morning, which is healthy, but if you don't, you might want to consider struggling to develop some consistent pattern to your sleeping schedule, as I feebly attempt to do.

Just looking out for my fellow writers. Best of luck.

What is this all about? What's a broad story line as opposed to a narrow one? Is subject matter the actual subject of a screenplay, the characters and events, or is it the theme, like the meaning of life or something?

Thanks, DG. We use so many terms that are, more or less, defined subjectively; I just wanted to try and get an idea of what other people think of when they hear these terms.

DG,

How bad is does your acid trip have to be before you see eagles swooping out of the sky and snatching ducks from water?

I don't think I'd live where eagles carried ducks away. I'm not certain, but I think a duck is a bit big for an eagle.

But, hey, what the hell do I know? Maybe you live out by the power plant. I can see it now, giant eagles' nests full of dogs, cats, ducks, bags of groceries people had set on the roof of their car for, what they thought would be, just a moment, and everything else not nailed down.

Well, I guess out there, people do nail everything down. Of course, it's not safe to go out and nail stuff down unless you're paired off in 2's, so that one person can watch for eagles as the other nails everything down.

HEY EVUREEBUDEE, WHERE DG LIVES, THE EAGLES GO BALD FOR A DIFFERENT REASON; THEY LOSE ALL THEIR TEETH TOO!!!

HEY, THAT EAGLE TOOK MY VOLKSWAGON!!!

FARFIGNOOTIN! I JUST GOT THAT THING!!!

I don't buy it, man.

Oh, My! Learn to read the intended humor in things, Mr. Sensitive.

You resent the implication? What implication? That you may have dropped a few tabs of acid in your time. If you haven't, I can't say that you should, because it's hard enough for the rest of the world to form any semblance of what it is you're trying to say now. Besides, silly; people don't get addicted to acid. The thought of tripping everyday could scare away the most addictive personality.

Anyway, we have plenty of eagles where I live, and I happen to know that, to them, Minnows are a delicacy, which is why you ought not swim naked anymore.

Also, smarty-pants, a baby duck is called a duckling…..I think. How can a self-proclaimed, carnivorous saskwach not know these things?

HEY EVEREEBUDEE, LOOK AT ME! I’M BACKSTROKING ALL THE WAY ACROSS THIS POND WITH A BLOODY DEER HEART IN MY MOUTH.

Once again, you're here to point that out. Are we running out of space or something?

HEY EVUREEBUDEE,

I can't seem to find a personal attack on P. Smith anywhere in my comments. Would you be so kind as to point the attack out to me?

Anyway, this thread was started by a guy posing a hypothetical question to us, one I found boring. He said himself, he never wanted to start any type of contest anyway. This entire thread could be summed up in these few words: Some contests are legit, some are shady.

Don't you people see, all I tried to do was joke around a bit, and now you're all coming down on me. Read the entire post over again. I only wrote what I wrote to DG as a joke, and to have some fun visualizing giant eagles carrying away the contents of DG's small town.

How on earth do you people step out of your front doors and face life, when my stupid posts throw you all into such a frenzy?

You people act like this is a U.N. meeting a day after world war broke out, and I'm in the back shooting spitballs.

Let me try and analyze you all for a second, or at least those people with blotches of their own hair in hand.

Do you think maybe that you take yourselves so seriously here as a way to compensate for a lack of confidence in your abilities as a writer?

After all, this is just a place to throw ideas around, and I don't see how chatting about a hypothetical screenplay contest is going to help anyone to be a better writer. In fact, besides trading newly discovered links, I don't really see many beneficial aspects to these message boards.

Now, besides my opinion, and however much you disagree, I violate no parts of the TOS, and I don't target anyone for any type of unremitting assault. I think you people should step back and ask yourselves if the silly little things I write are actually worth getting all pissy about.

One more thing. Trust me when I tell you that I'm on my best behavior here. I kind of like this MB, so I fight the urge to become, in full, what you're all accusing me of being now. Just lay off and have some fun, ok?

Now, go play nice-a-nice.

Yaya,

DG is right; you give birth to a thread, but you can't dictate its direction.

Nice going, guys. Brendon, did you like working for Bill Ziff? I know the guy, and he's a bit of a jerk.

No pages and all white space? What does that mean?

Ms. Smith,

What constitutional rights are gay people denied?

Also, I resent being referred to as a "poster", whatever that means. I assure you, I'm three-dimensional.

As for your assumption that I have no idea what the mindset of a member of a minority community might be, you're dead wrong; I am a minority. I'm a member of the minority community most persecuted in the entire history of civilization.

The only thing I’ve ever had a problem with, concerning the gay rights movement, is the attempt, by extremists, to use public schools as a way to encourage homosexuality in students too young to have developed the way they will naturally. If the actual gay rights movement, and the people in favor of same sex marriages, aren’t part of that extreme wing, then they should make obvious the distinction. Same sex marriages was probably a good idea at one time, but the extremists who want to live in a free-sex, free-for-all, ½ gay ½ straight world…they took it upon themselves to use same sex marriages as a way to gain a foothold, and their destination of choice for their propaganda is the public school system.

Now, make yourself some "poster" boards and go stand outside of the Catholic church. Trust me when I say, you won't be seeing me there, for any reason whatsoever.

Elfs ruined my neighborhood! They hang around on the corner selling magic powders and listening to lair music; why don't they go get jobs?

"Who let all this riff-raff into the room?"

"There's one smoking a joint, and another with spots!"

"If I had my way, I'd have all of you shot!" --Roger Waters

Elfs ruined my neighborhood! They hang around on the corner selling magic powders and listening to lair music; why don't they go get jobs?

"Who let all this riff-raff into the room?"

"There's one smoking a joint, and another with spots!"

"If I had my way, I'd have all of you shot!" --Roger Waters

Elfs...Elves...they all look the same to me!

Ya, mental imagery is great.....for athletes. Too bad no matter how many times you see it happen in your head, you can't control what other people will do.

Tru dat...Tru dat, yo!

Craig, only thing is, nobody who believes that abortion is a sin is going to post that here on this MB.

Same with homosexuality, even though Steve almost let the cat out of the bag-- Oh no! Bad pun, very bad pun! "Coming out" and "pussy" cats mentioned in the same sentence is enough to make some of these people tear themselves in half.

I have very little opinion on either subject; it's sad to say, but all my sympathy has been used up on animals and people I actually know. I wish I felt passionately about abortion, but I don't. Also, I have, pretty much, no opinion on homosexuality, except to feel the need to make some argument against the same old, tired, politically correct argument that's being made here.

To think that some people actually feel they are a force of rebellion, as they feed us lines from arguments all ready digested a million times over.

All I want to see is something new. The reason my attempt to debate here, even if I was just playing devil's advocate, failed in every turn, is that by definition, a debate is the elevation of ideas through argument, and none of these gay rights activists did anything but repeat things they've heard before, like the old civil rights analogy.

Good arguments, I agree; they are just old.

Sure, ming; that's the idea.

Say all the things you wished you had said, beat up all the bullies who threw you in the muck before school, break up with all the heartless wenches who cheated on you, send all those self-important suits who screwed you to jail, pour gas over the world and set the bitch aflame, and do it all from the confines of your dumpy little apartment.

It all originates from what you've learned in life, right?

Here's my problem:

When I was in college, living above a bar, I was told, one night, that I had to move my car, just so the dj from the bar downstairs could load his records into his car.

I went down to the street, and there was no place to park. When I found a cop to ask about parking in an empty lot across the street from my apartment, he chose to flirt with some little college bimbo rather than to actually consider my question.

Anyway, in the morning, my car was gone. I searched the town, and I found it at some dirt bag's towing garage.

When I tried to sneak up and take back what rightfully belonged to me, some fat, old man caught me, and we had a little shoving match. Being younger and quicker than him, I made my way into my car and started to drive off. His partner ran inside to call the cops, so I was in a hurry.

Well, it looked like I'd be free and clear with no great struggle, but that crazy bastard jumped on my hood.

No matter how much swerving and quick braking I did, that guy wouldn't fall off.

I took him into the highway, hoping he would get off when I slowed down and gave him the chance to avoid riding like that through heavy traffic, but he stayed put.

The rest of the story is boring; just a lot of cops and legal thingies.

My problem is, I can't seem to work that into any of my stories. I've tried, but it just doesn't fit.

I hope you all lose!

Screw you all!

Only my screenplay deserves to go anywhere, you losers!

Screw you all to hell!

Nono, just joking. I really feel like I'm in good company here, and I hope that everybody's efforts pay off for them, one way or another.

I hope you guys win Cinestory, but remember, if you don't, it's because fools reviewed your work, not because it isn't brilliant.

"That's why "writing what you know," that famous old adage, often confuses writers. You do not need to take it literally."

If I took that literally, I'd never write about anything but masturbation and tv-dinners.

They have a powerful lobby, and should mandates be passed only allowing gay parents the children they can produce without surrogate help, the scientific world and pharmaceutical companies would solve this problem and bring life to a whole new generation of ass-babies.

Yeah, DK's post was good.

Harry,

Can I get the sweeping job if she leaves?

I'd believe otherwise, Asley, but then I'd be insane.

didn't leave the "h" out on purpose, in case you wondered

DG, does your floating vessel of twisted reality ever land near Normalville?

Yeah,

They said it about:

Hitler

Manson

Bundy

etc.

etc.

etc.......

Hey, D.G. (Deranged Guy),

I hope I never find myself in the midst of your forrest of insanity, and not just because I'm afraid of being carried away by one of the giant eagles you have there.

True, sometimes, insanity and brilliance run together, but there are a lot more crazy people who think they are brilliant than there are brilliant people who are thought to be crazy.

If A, then B doesnt work in all situations, wacko. If he was brilliant and crazy, and if I'm crazy, then I must be brilliant, right? Nono! If that were the case, then I'd be destined to be remembered as a great author for hundreds of years, since Dostoevsky couldn't pay his rent either.

I guess that if you're not happy with or not sure of exactly who you are, Ashley, then it might help to rehearse and give a capitol performance as someone you'd like to be. I don't know, but I thought we were talking about screenwriting. If we were talking about giving presentations on some cooperate product or service we wanted to sell, then I might agree with you.

I don't know what kind of confidence you can allow yourself to have in your work, but I have little to say to anyone about my ability; they can judge for themselves. "You're trying to sell yourself as a writer"; is that what you're thinking now? Forgive me, but I just wanted to stop you before you reiterate another worn out screenwriter line that you've heard.

So, go ahead and dress pretty and show off your neat little attaché-case, maybe because your work needs all the help it can get, I don't know. Meanwhile, I'll remain confident that my work can show the fact that I can write, and I won't turn myself into some twisted version of a clown trying to convince people of that.

Also, Ashley, do yourself a favor and stop being such a sabe la toda. I wasn't even disagreeing with you; I was merely saying that it would be nice to be able to insert certain thoughts into a mind reading a screenplay thousands of miles away. Maybe your point is that you think this is possible, but I doubt anyone can be convinced to like a certain screenplay, at least not by anything other than his or her own taste and opinions.

Well said.

Assley,

There was little doubt that an emasculating penis envier like you would bring this conversation around to some subject of a phallic nature before long.

Sabe la toda = know it all

"Ever since then, I religiously followed a moisturizing skin care regimen"

"Have you used up all your hand cream? "

--Assley Moye

Is somebody obsessed?

Steve,

You're right. I'm stressing out right now, and I let her annoy me to a point where I just wanted to get nasty. I like to see what other people in situations similar to mine are thinking, but to do that, one must deal with personalities like Ashley's, and that can be more frustrating than dealing with the most pompous agent alive.

I apologize to the people who have to read my earlier comments; I should have never dignified Ashley's remark about my narrow scope with anything but a giggle.

Assley,

I'll try to raise enough money to go see a really good psychoanalyst, and you try to raise enough for the sex change you so dearly need; it will be like a race.

Oh, a race, what fun!

I have no idea where I found a link to Tavel Ent. (that's what is sounds like, anyway), but they sold all my information to Story Bay, and they call me on the phone and e-mail me now.

In my opinion, this isn't a good thing. Actually, I hope Ted Kazinski queries them next.

Assley,

I just think only men should be manly, which is why I think you deserve a penis. As for your soulmate, I couldn't possibly say anything negative about him; obviously, he has it tough enough.

Who gets murdered?

Please, let it be me!

Hey Bob,

You sound like you have some money. Would you like to commission a screenplay? I'll contractually agree that less than 10 lawyers (consulting engineers, whatever) will be decapitated before page 60. Deal?

I just think only men should be manly...

"And women should be weak and docile? Well, dearie, you just pissed off every woman in a position of power."

My god, you want a penis so badly that you've actually come to believe that all women do too. Trust me, Assley the tough guy, most women of power (I can't believe you have me talking like a Nazi now) don't consider themselves masculine simply because they have a decent job. In fact, it's only the most unaware "women of power" who allow their persona to assume manly traits as they execute their duties.

Let me clarify for you, manly Assley; you are alone in being pissed off at that statement of mine. Manly is the last thing most women want to be called….besides you, of course. Positions of power or not, you are part of a tiny little minority of women that actually admit to your attempts to become penisless men, and the group of women who take offense to being called feminine is even smaller.

You, are one of those wholly unaware people, and this is why you don't understand that your attempt to act like a 300 pound redneck searching some local watering hole for a fight...is just pitiful.

You've lost something on your way, tough guy, but luckily, you picked up insanity to replace it.

From Assley's web-site, under the FAQ's section:

What's your I.Q.?

Genius, last time I was tested. It was less than my score in high school, though.

You could pass for a twenty-something! How do you do it?

I guess it starts with my mother sending me to modeling school, when I was in Fourth Grade. Ever since then, I religiously followed a moisturizing skin care regimen. Add to this my: not drinking alcohol (dehydrates the skin), avoiding the sun, and supplementing my diet with a superior mineral/vitamin product, and you’ve got more than one reason as to the cause of my youthful appearance.

Assley, I see no problem with you walking around thinking you're a goddess. It shows how self-important you are, but I won't say anything else about that.

Now, as far as you being a genius, is there any way you can stop asserting it for five minutes and actually show us how uncommonly brilliant you are?

You say I make no point, and that might be so, but have you yet to make a point regarding something besides your brainpower?

Another thing, how stupid do you think everyone else is? Do you really think we believe that you’re frequently asked how you remain so beautiful and intelligent? I’ve asked you repeatedly to fully describe just how badly you wish you had a penis, and I don’t see that on the FAQ page.

As far as my work goes, I’d put my worst piece up against your most prized piece of trash. The fact is, Assley, and you can’t escape this one, you’re a pseudo intellectual, politically correct, goody-two-shoes bore, and there’s little chance that anything you write will ever be considered anything but “nice”. You ought to be writing poetry with flowery prose, not straining that unused, sub par imagination of yours.

Write 4/year.

Ditto that!

It's a freaking slave society! With smiles of ignorance, you accept the fact that they put only two people before you to choose from, and then you feel proud when you help them validate the restriction of our choice?

Anyone proud about the fact that they vote is nothing more than a willing slave, and I'm ashamed to be a part of the same species as them.

DG, wtf are you talking about? Condit almost won! You just barely voted Condit out of office in California, and you live your summers without electricity because of the way you all voted a few years ago. In New York, we have Hillary Clinton as a senator and a man on Forbes' "most wealthy" list as our mayor.

Fact is, there isn't a prayer in hell left for America. I advise you to stop trying to right a wrong so big that you can't even see the whole thing. Just give in and go with the flow. I'm watching too see our transformation into the world's next version of the Nazis, and I can't wait for the day the rest of the world has to rise together just to put us down. That will be something to see!

Now, I don't discuss politics with anyone at any time, simply because it's all based on economics, and very few people seem to understand anything about economic rule. So, for those politically correct do gooders who want to call me a wack job, all I can suggest is this: Go back to school and study economics before trying to figure out what's going on in America. Better yet, and in the interest of saving time, just pick up a copy of "The Independent Review", or maybe "The Public Interest". And, if you really want to know where we're going in this country, read "The Road To Serfdom" by Hayek, our greatest economist to date.

D Jay,

Can you send me one of those "Love It Or Leave It" t-shirts in extra large, please?

I'm here because this is my country; I'm a part of the evil empire. I say, "hate it and stay", and to all those people that say we (the self-haters) ought to leave, I say, "go live in one of those countries where you go to prison for speaking out against the state". I take full advantage of the few rights left, and saying whatever the hell I want is one of them.

Anyway, I never said that this nation was restrictive. The only way we are restricted is in the fact that we all have to go out and make a living, a taxable living. Where you work, what you do, those things are up to the individual, and that's what makes this the most efficient slave society the world has ever known.

I'm not leaving yet, but when I do, I think a return to Honduras or Guatemala would be nice. For those of you who have never been in a third-world nation, you need to go. You can't believe the feeling of freedom you'll experience. No car insurance, no taxes, no speeding tickets, no tolls anywhere, no worry of being busted for the 1/4 ounce of weed in your shorts, no partisan government trying to fill your head with crap all day every day, no Frankenfoods, no telemarketers, no war on terrorism, no war on drugs, no war on smoking, no restrictions.....no government worth mentioning at all.

Nope, just beautiful beaches, clear water, hot sun, fresh fruit, talking parrots, friendly people, and.....peace. A whole lotta peace. Try it before you doubt it.

Are we talking D.G. years or normal?

There are some sick bastards here; I'll agree with that.

Tijuana is not in Guatemala, man. WTF is D. Jay talking about? Guatemalans hate Mexicans, and vice versa. Tijuana is a city warped into something far from its origin, just to attract American money. I wouldn't tell you to go to Mexico at all; Mexico's not on my list. No place you can drive to from America can ever be worth a damn, unless they know how to repel our influence, like the Canadians do.

HEY EVUREEBUDEE, How about that wacko Bush hater? I'm not much for the Republicans, but violent liberals really scare me. At least the armed Republicans are only killing deer; this Lee Harvey has his sights set on bipeds.

Oh yeah?

Well, I went to hell for a month, and the freaking spiders there would carry you off in your sleep. Anal rape all day, and at night they would set me on fire and put it out with cheese graters and shards of glass.

They are scum! They are all scum!

I write to Dave all the time, and he always responds right away, and he does so quickly. I have to say, I find it hard to believe that a guy who just made so much money is willing to be as helpful as Dave is. His column appears on the done deal sie, and to write to him, you use hollywhooped@scripsales.com I think. Just thought I'd throw that in there, but I know none of you ingrates will thank me for it.

did I just write, "he always responds right away, and he does so quickly"? What does that mean?

I think it still takes millions of dollars to distribute a film, and if you read that thing PBS did on the new attitude of Hollywood, you'll see that investments will be less risky in the future, so no matter how many films you shoot on digital, you'll still be the only one to see it.

There's a serious gap between what advice is commonly given to aspiring screenwriters and what advice ought to be offered. Fact is, unless you attempt to write a commercially viable script, as commercial as possible, you're never going to find an agent to market it for you.

The only success I've had in this trade comes in the form of interest from a few magagers, agents, and prodcos, and they all give it to me straight. There is but one way for a writer to break into this industry, and that's with a high-concept-driven script. That's not my term, but it's been used on me a few times. I can only imagine that it means sories involving either lives being at stake, or the fate of the world. Small stories with great characters just don't cut the mustard.

I bought a digital camera, a normal one that takes pictures, and that nearly put me in the poor house. I know some people at distribution companies, and they want to see a tape of your movie. Like we send agents a script, they get movies in the mail. I couldn't come up with enough money to shoot a movie, even if I sold my azz on the street for the next 15 years.

These independent success stories are, for the most part, a crock. Like Kevin Smith. Read about him and you'll see that his parents sent him to two different film schools, and then, after he failed out of both, they financed his first film for him (Clerks). The man's parents bankrolled his career, and he still makes movies so terrible that I can't watch 2 minutes of them. People want real dialogue? Not when they watch a Kevin Smith pile of steamers they don't.

Anyway, these aren't art galleries we're trying to sell to here. This is a business, nothing more. McDonalds takes more risk every day than Hollywood does. Write a teen comedy if you want to be discovered.

Steve,

I would love to hear about some of the prodcos or managers you've connected with regarding indies. My problem is that the script that earned me some recognition was written with independent filmmakers in mind, but I can't seem to find any. The other managers, the ones who deal with commercial material and big production companies, they love me, but they say they're not about to champion and indie script, and I ought to write something more mainstream. I have no problem with this, but I just don't think that way.

When I start to consider ideas for scripts that might appeal to these people, I cringe. My thing seems to be about getting as far inside the mind of my main character as possible, which means most of my stories are psychological in a way. I'm really at a loss as to what to do.

I've been trying to come up with something more "high concept" for my third script, but I'm still leaning towards stories that could easily be seen as better suited for an independent company, and FATCHAMONGA!!! I'm right back where I started this post: I don't know anyone who makes independent films.

It seems to me, that there are so many "high concept" pieces of crap being made, that if I were to start writing them too, I would be part of a larger portion off aspiring writers than I am now. As of now, I've written two scripts that were received really well, but like Steve said, nobody bought them.

Steve, if you wouldn't mind compiling a short list of contacts for me, I would really appreciate it. You could send them to me at Brandonthane70@hotmail.com

Deb, I was saying that I bought a normal digital camera, not a video camera, and it put me in the poor house. My point was that I'm as poor as a church mouse. I would love to talk shop with you, but I'd be lost. I know nothing about equipment.

I suggest you throw your script away, write a newer version of The Goonies or some action piece of crap like Speed, and then just say exactly that. Some asshole manager or agent who makes a living out of pushing shit scripts into million dollar deals will jump at it, cream on it, and then muster up an unequaled amount of moronic passion for it. Bam! You’re a screenwriter.

High concept = commercial shit

Dealing with fools is making me insane!

Speed sucked. I tried to watch Speed so many times, and I couldn't stay awake, not once.

Mylo,

You dug this post out of the trash, didn't you?

Brook's pretty cool, and if you have a commercial script, he'll work on it with you until he feels passionate about it, and then he'll sell it. If you don't have a "high-concept" script, Brooklyn wants nothing to do with you, but you can't really blame him, since indies aren't his bussiness.

I'm going to write a commercial script, and I'm willing to work with Brook on it, but I think I wore my welcome out with him. Ahhh, llife goes on.

Ed, for $175 I'll tell you that your work sucks, if you're in the market for that kind of thing.

Send $175 and 1 script to:

Brandon T. Smith corner of 19th and Lexington NY, New York 10022

Tell the delivery guy that I'm the one on my knees blowing some guy for coffee money.

I never thought you were dissing Brook.

I posted that same thing about him as well. He will read your work, if the logline interests him, and he will call you at home to talk about it. He's actually not just in the biz of selling work; he really likes to help new writers.

I just don't understand how these managers work. I know I hate agents with a passion, I know that. I think I'm confused about what managers do exactly, as far as script development goes. They seem to want to hear ideas before you embark on writing a script, but you could throw ideas at them all day every day, and you'd be lucky to find one they like. They want to help develop ideas into scripts they feel passionate about, and I can respect that, but they treat those ideas as if there's a script written all ready. What is that?

It's a sad situation. My greatest fear is that I'll end up an old man with 6-7 great scripts in my closet, none produced, just because I couldn't figure out how to communicate with the people who sell scripts. If the goddamned production companies have people who find scripts for them, agents and managers, why can't I have someone who finds those same agents and managers for me? Because I have $300 in my bank account, that's why! Well, if I had the money to afford it, I'd just get a digital camera and shoot my own flicks; the only two things I've ever been good at are writing and photography. Then, I could hire somebody to market the damn thing to whomever.

Actually, I'd have a few people killed if I had the money. Then, I'd make my movie. Like this one agent who yelled at me and then hung up on me when I called his office to ask if I could send him a query letter; he'd be dead. He has this high-pitched voice, you can't miss it. Also, that bastard's office is right next to my friend’s apartment building in Manhattan. Man oh man; if I ever hear that voice on the street, I'm going to slap that piece of crap in the face as hard as I can until his eyes bleed. Then, I'm gonna shoot my movie.

There are more people than ever writing screenplays, and less and less good movies coming out. It's the dark ages of Hollywood, I tell ya. They even turned Woody Allen into a hack. Dreamworks got their hands on him, and he can't seem to make a movie worth a crap anymore.

I'd like to say that the problem is that Hollywood has shut its eyes, but really, the movie going public has shut its mind. It's all supply and demand. They don't have to make great films to make great money, so they don't.

Take Blackhawk Down for instance. I haven't seen it, but I served with some of the guys who were there -- different units -- and they are all appalled at the result. Lance Twambly, who was depicted in the movie, is a really nice guy, a forest ranger now, and he was so disgusted that he called the actor who played him, Ethen something, and bitched him out. I met almost all the guys depicted in the film, only know a couple of them well, and when I saw the trailer, I was just sickened. They made a corny film about American soldiers, made them just like any other Hollywood war heroes, and the real people, even the real nature, of Rangers is so much more interesting than the same old crapola do-gooders they made them out to be. Doesn't it make a story more interesting to show a coward as a coward and not exalt everyone involved to the status of hero? I don't know; I heard the action was good; maybe I'll rent it.

Anyway, I have hope. There are still people out there looking for what they consider to be great, and every one of them can't have bad taste, can they?

All wrong, I'm on the dole.

Rod,

That's damn good advice. Thanks. Are these sessions just in LA?

Nono,

Curse of the Jade Scorpion was unrehearsed or something. Every performance in it was like from a reading or something, except for Helen Hunt's. I think the movie was rushed, and I don't think Allen put much into it. He's made some serious stinkers before, but this one was really bad. Also, I liked him in the one before that, the one with Tracy whatever her name is. Dreamworks said they are out to specifically make Allen's movies more mainstream, and I think we've seen the result.

What the hell is a double fold? If you fold the back cover over, then it will be exposing that much of the innards, right? You have to explain that one, ming.

Wonderful news, glad to hear it. We know he's a man, but thanks for sharing.

Best site I know of.

He died?

I don't know about route 66 films, but flicks on 66 has a great little contest worth checking out. It's called the digital shootout, and I've never heard of another contest like it. www.flickson66.com

I would choose the first logline listed, but I would want there to be a bit more information in it. I gather you're talking about a man's psychic abilities, but I had to infer that.

I would try to include a bit more, and at least have the logline describe the basic premise of the story. Something like, "After a man who suffers psychic premonitions attempts to foil a murderer's plan, he finds himself targeted by police as a prime suspect.

I have no idea exactly what you're story is about, but that's my point.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. If you post your logline on the done deal site, in the logline section, you'll get all the suggestions you can handle. I can honestly say that the done deal message board is one of the biggest collections of morons and azzholes I've ever encountered, but some of the people there will rewrite your logline for you, and all of the idiots there will criticize it for you, if that's what you want.

I don't even know what tfi is.

Yeah, Done Deal is full of morons, Wordplay is full of people who think they are the world's most elite think-tank, and this board is really the best, even though not much happens here. Furthermore, agents are scum, managers can lead you astray, prodco people are mainly retarded, and writers are on their own, all on their own.

Hey Chang,

What's the matter, are you bored of your new Ferrari already? Are you done filling your new house with furniture and your pool with champagne? If you're looking for something to do, you can pick me up in your new yacht and share some of those $500 hookers with me.

Some people enjoy a nice shit sandwich, so I'd like to take this opportunity to stand up in defense of the shit eaters of the world and say, "hey, to each his own".

Go slaughter a cow or turkey and slap some mayo on it, you barbarian. But, if we all ate shit, the world would be a cleaner place.

Save the environment; eat a shit sandwich...and have a bowl of piss soup while you're at it.

Thanks

I think 19 of 20 scripts are crapola too, which is why I'm determained to write 20. I'll beat the odds one way or the other, even if 19 of my 20 scripts are only 1/2 a page long and look like this: "iugiresgisarb giusabhg iuwre_*&&ahi uew4rhb iuerwaiew uarng^%$#eirj gneiug"

By the way, I'm looking for some feedback on my new script entitled "jdfks^%$^% fdbdsfg edrguy". Here's the logline: ierhiuerhgiewurhirewg3u wrouheriuh39ur wrgheriug rwiuhrewg9iuer 9iuwer ewriu rewiuohewrg ergoiuegiuergiu gr eriuge.

If anyone would give it a read for me, I'd be most appreciative.

I'd like to thank the academy, not only for this award, and not only for letting me live in the basement of this theatre, and not only for the scraps of food provided me by the esteemed members, and not only for getting me out of jail after that terrible misunderstanding involving that 13 year old girl, and not only for funding my stay at Betty Ford and helping me finally put away the base pipe forever, and not only for their generous contribution to my newly founded charity helping to combat the compulsion to publicly masturbate, but for this award as well.

Also, I don't think I'd be where I am today, if it weren't for my manager Ass Face, my agent Scummy Liar, my attorney Cheating Gutter-slut, and all those people at MovieBytes who supported me through all my efforts, no matter how many times I showed up at their homes.

I'll see you all at the parties! Rock on! Good luck Jean Claude Van Damn; I'm pulling for you, baby.

Craig, either write the word "shit" or don't. Thank you.

Ya Craig,

With such noble efforts to keep this thread on the up and up, efforts like this:

"I think I know why everyone obsesses over the look of the script -- binding, the number of brads, covers, all that. And that is because nineteen out of twenty scripts are a s*** sandwich."

...it's a wonder we've degenerated to a level beneath you.

What's the point of this survey? Is there a reason she's asking this question? Is there a reason you people are answering?

If there's no reason, then I'll ask a question of my own.

If I removed my shoe and slammed you in the nose with it, what would you do? Be specific.

Mitch,

How long was it before you brought this conversation around to the topic of my ass? 10 minutes? Less?

Mitch,

I very seldom worry about making a point; I just wanted to call you a big flamer.

I guess I'm stuck in the 70's.

Hollywood Screenwriter. It's $99, and it does everything you need.

The read every word, sluglines too. They even mention the punctuation and page breaks. Generally, it takes 40-50 hours for it to read one script.

My voice synthesizer not only reads every word on page, mentions punctuation and page breaks, takes cigarette breaks, takes piss breaks, and sometimes flat-out hits on me, but if I want it to, it will spell out all the words in a really reverent manner, interrupt itself to tell me how brilliant my work is, laugh at my attempted humor, weep during sad scenes, and have "Sanford and Son" type pseudo heart attacks when the action is intense.

I'm totally serious here, but there is a slight chance that those FUCKING voices in my head are back.

SHUT UP!

SHUT UP!

LEAVE ME ALONE, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

who are they?

I knew what this thread was about; I saw the argument on the other one. That's why I tried to tell you all that Assley's question was just a crock of shite.

Assley,

I might be in need of help, but some self-proclaimed omniscient who starts threads in attempt to justify her position in another thread in which she caused some rift with her total refusal to accept the fact that she can sometimes be wrong.... she’s not the one to help me.

Now, I'll make another deal with you; I'll find some purpose, and you go back to telling us all how intelligent and beautiful you are, ok? I like laughing at you better than I do arguing with you. Tell us about your skin care or something; we need a chuckle.

DG is probably bouncing off a padded wall right now, Mitch might be outside your house in the bushes looking at the little red dot on your head, and I'm in one of my depressed states.

Anyway, I wish you luck, Yos. Are you really leaving?

Assley doesn't have any curiosity. You can't be curious and think you already know everything at the same time. I just wish the bitch would shut up for once.

Also, if she's close to being famous, then the movie business is close to being the laughing-stock of all of humanity. But, I do think her headshot is nice.......for a weasel.

I think everyone who has sex with Assley should leave the country that day; help cut down on immunicable diseases in the states.

Mitch, is my ass still your favorite subject? Why don't you just break down and start a thread?

who are you on DD? I forget my old name, but they banned me.

I'm smoking cigarettes and listening to Gomez.

Blah blah blah!