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Hmm, some of that text was hidden for lack of quotation marks. Here's what I meant to post:

<"I made my decision based on the tape I'd seen. I was not about to see my "blood, sweat and tears" get butchered for NOTHING!">

Actually, that's a good litmus test.

<"So here's what I'm saying--"Our careers are based on the choices we make.">

Well, I consider this the most eloquent argument for your position that you've made. ...

When you see the winners of some of the contests who post scripts or excerpts, or the way they're handled in general, compared to others, you may want to drop one or more from your list -- because in truth, most of them are virtually useless. Then, you can use the money you save from that to register your script.

Registering with the US Copyright Office is advisable, and legally, it's all you really need; it just takes a long time to get that registration #. Titles on written works are not subject to copyright, and so they are insufficient identifiers, being duplicated frequently. So, you'll need a reg. #, more than likely, if you're ever offered a submission release form by a producer.

I think the best reason to have WGA registration is really in case of the script being produced, then it can be called for from the WGA archives and arbitrated in case of a credit dispute. But I also think you can get a reg. # a lot quicker than the Library of Congress will provide your US copyright receipt. I've been waiting almost six months for mine already on my latest.

I intend to use the WGA East from now on. Not only do I live in the Eastern US, but their screenplay registration is for a period of ten years, not five, as is the case with the west.

Cara, contests are all over the road. My typical gripes with entering them will vary according to the contest, but will include that they do not announce (sometimes) the total number of entries, so you don't know if your place or win beats 14 scripts or 1400 scripts. Many do not email their contestants to announce results after charging, sometimes, upwards of fifty bucks to enter. Why can't they do it, when others, less expensive, can and do? Some have semifinalists and don't post them on their lists. Some don't announce their results to Moviebytes. Some take a year to deliver on a prize. Some make winners of very non-commercial screenplays. I'm trying some contests, marking several off my list for one reason or another, and putting others on the list to try next time based on what others have to say. Be sure to check out the contest report cards to get an idea of the consensus on any particular contest before entering, it's one of the nice features of Moviebytes. We're all here to pick up and disseminate tips in the thickets of our far-fetched aspirations. Collectively, we have a lot of experiences to compare! My advice is, go with the "most significant" you can find, or the most genre-friendly to what you write, or to the location-based, if you have a script that's right for such, or with the monthlies, where you might have a better chance to stand out than the annuals with their thousands of aspirants contending at once. Few contests can really help you, beyond giving you an item to look good on your resume. Try to find the ones which can, by attracting the notice of producers, and enter those consistently if you can. It gets easier after you've placed or won a few times, the novelty's worn off, and the retirement fund is that much more starved of funding.

Hey, thanks, Orlanda, that'll be really handy.

Still hangin' with Renee at this point?

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''The strike is over. Our membership has voted, and writers can go back to work,'' said Patric M. Verrone, president of the Writers Guild of America, West.

http://www.wga.org/subpage_newsevents.aspx?id=2775

Striking writers vote to go back to work

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23134596/

Oscars boost as writers end strike

http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5goetyoTliD3yLDxo1Hol94T6LE6w

The real reason that the strike is over

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20080212.DOYLE12/TPStory/TPEntertainment/Movies/

Writers Guild of America strike (2007—present)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Writers_Guild_of_America_strike

I agree with Larry's post. Pitch to small production companies. Introduce yourself to the person answering the phone and ask if they're currently open to pitches. If so, deliver your well-rehearsed, one-minute pitch with the unique hook that will interest them. They may have you sign a release and give your work a read. If they have a track record and see $ in your project, they can help you make the rest of the connections you'll need, providing at least some pointers or some introductions to get the ball rolling on a packaging effort (because a team effort will be needed to put the elements in place to obtain financing, etc.) You can certainly query agents if you have money to spend on postage, but at least pre-target the ones who have facilitated projects similar to the ones you have in mind. The Spec Screenplay Sales Directory is one good resource for making that identification, so is Moviebytes' Who's Buying What, and so is Hollywoodlitsales.com. You'll want an agent, but, a lot of times, writers only manage to get agents through such referrals from industry pros. And writers who've been playing at this game for a while finally realize that agents do little actual "selling," particularly of feature spec scripts. Their typical bread and butter is hustling up positions for TV series writers, who may get to keep their jobs a while, instead of being one-shot, or merely occasional, sources of revenue like feature writers.

Wow, I just checked that out, and it really looks like a great coup to have an agent with this kind of track record interested in your work. Let me add my congrats as well. Good luck!

I was just watching another Screenwriting Expo DVD, "Finding the Right Buyer for Your Screenplay," and in her presentation, Victoria Wisdom gives an illuminating example.

In 2004, no one expected "The Passion of the Christ" to make so much money, but when it cleaned up, the hunt was suddenly on, far and wide, for "biblical epics." Well, one was found because of this. No one would accuse it of being a copy-cat film production, either...

A pair of unproduced writers, Bobby Florsheim and Josh Stolberg, according to Wisdom, in three weeks whipped out a script called "The Passion of the Ark," which sold to Universal for $1.5 million against $2.5 million "+ 2% of profits." This was the highest price paid for a spec script by unproduced writers, according to "Variety".

It was made and promoted as "Evan Almighty," with a "script" and "story" credited to other writers.

Moral of the story: Know the movies with "legs." If one hangs around in the top five three weeks or more, immediately promote your completed script in the same genre so the scouts employed by the moguls can find it. Enjoy the new house, car, and swimming pool.

(And in certain cases, gee, try not to notice the reviews.)

Update spotted today: "We will announce Quarterfinalists on Feb. 29, 2008 and send out an announcement via our enewsletter, Script Notes, and post information on our web site."

Okay, a little research shows us that Josh Stolberg has his own website where he lays out his work history, including "Passion of the Ark," which was the object of a seven-studio BIDDING WAR due to interest in "biblican epics" sparked by the success of "Passion of the Christ." He had previously worked fairly extensively as a writer in TV and also sold a Comedy Central script in '04.

http://web.mac.com/joshstolberg/Joshs_Website/About_Josh.html

You can also find on various sites that Bobby Florsheim, his partner on that, has also sold another pitch as co-writer and has some other projects in development, such as "Man-Witch," starring Jack Black and due next year. So, it's safe to say that at least Josh had an agent at the time, and Bobby must have one by now.

"Evan Almighty," the former "Passion of the Ark," accd. to IMDB, cost $175 Mil. and grossed domestic $100 Mil. box office. Think about that original title. Wow. I'd have been embarrassed to use that. Therefore, because it wouldn't have even slightly bothered the buyers (from among the SEVEN STUDIOS who went ape-shit to get their hands on it) I'd have undoubtedly lost out if I had that script, because the way I titled it probably wouldn't have caught their attention.

Is our children learning?

Victoria Wisdom's message is that if we want to SELL and not write our hearts out for twenty years, we can "easily" do it by having what studio execs want right now. She suggests that writers don't try to work out of their own needs, brilliance, and interests. Rather, she encourages us to look at recent successes and find ways to evolve a new spin on them, get it done quick, get it on the radar, and then, she says, "they'll find you." She asserts that if they're looking for "it" and you have "it," they will buy it.

It's not about you, me, or all our creativity at all, though God knows we have to have that heart and soul to invest in the job. It's all about servicing a fast-paced, highly competitive market place for big business, where an average $98 million investor bucks is at risk each time at bat.

How to succeed at this? You've heard it before, they've tried to tell us so many times: "It's 'Transformers' Meets 'Kindergarten Cop!'" or whatever. It needs to be "like" a proven, recent hit, but "different" in that it provides a fresh element -- which has also been seen to be a proven success!

She uses loglines to provide a clue. For instance, "Bourne Identity" is "James Bond with amnesia." "True Lies" is "James and Jane Bond." Someone else picks up on that successful notion, now that the ground's been plowed with the mass audience, who are presumably, in the executives' desperate, insecure minds, hungry for more comedy/spy/family genre, and evolves it into the successful pitch, "James and Jane Bond's 'Spy Kids.'"

The pitch gets the deal. But, as writers with no track records of commercial success, we have to have, not just the pitch, but the script to show we can deliver on that pitch.

Ms Wisdom (ironic name, isn't it?) says to read lots of recent scripts and see movies in the genre to use as our templates for success. Figure out what makes them work and adapt them. She points out the parallels between "The Godfather" and "Elizabeth," and asks, rhetorically, "Do you think the writer of "Elizabeth" didn't study "The Godfather?"

Vicki King's book, "How to Write a Movie in 21 Days" may be just the one to try to practice with for cranking out some fast screenplays. Ignoring the "Wisom" of Victoria might mean eventually writing your own life story as "How to Write Lots of Movies for 21 Years -- and Never Sell One."

Peter's right. The Edgar Rice Burroughs heirs sued MGM over a story adherence issue in their mid-'80s remake of their 1931 Tarzan movie. Their lawyers won.

A few years ago, I (foolishly) decided to try a Green Arrow spec script, and did a little plotting, but I backed off writing it once I realized you can't just submit these things for commercial exploitation without having obtained permission. I had a vague idea the studios would work all that out in the end. But what would really happen is that you'd get doors slammed in your face. Release forms you have to sign will attest that you have the right to the property you're submitting. For fear of litigation, no one at the studios, whose business is commercial exploitation of intellectual properties, will look at such a script until you've cleared it with the copyright holders. You'll probably just give 'em the idea that maybe it's time for them to do a new Tarzan movie, they'll talk to the Burroughs heirs, and maybe MGM, about rights to proceed, and where will you be in all this?

I was definitely on the right track with the Green Arrow idea. It wasn't too long before I found an impresario was trying hard to get Green Arrow to the screen, and not much longer after that when GA became a character on TV's "Smallville." So, yes, I was tapping some comic-book Zeitgeist. However, from my position as an unknown in the wilderness, it would have been a waste of time to try to develop and try to peddle such a script.

I'm not saying you can't ask for the rights from the owners... but, you'd need a lawyer to inquire with MGM about the current status of movie rights, for a starter. I'm just saying, if you want to go down that road, lots of luck. If not, just steer clear of copyright infringements in seeking to commercially exploit properties. Use your own properties.

It probably took some courage to post that. I'm not the guy (or gal) you're looking for, Steven, but I can empathize, and I wish you luck. Inside me contend an artist, a writer, and a musician, and it hasn't always been easy to know what to bring to the fore. I remember a time when I'd get all set up for a recording session, then I'd go in another room and mix some paint colors on my palette before I realized I was getting ready to do two things at once. D'oh! Of course, that couldn't go on. I finally settled for drawing for pleasure after 18 years of stacking up paintings, and for continuing my hobby of home recording my own songs. I love playing record producer, though it takes up a lot of time doing the "takes" and getting the mix; I'm just a "busker" gettin' down what comes into my head.

But, meantime, as I learned enough about computers and web coding to get some jobs that wouldn't break my back any more, and might bring in a few more bucks, I returned my main energies to the study of writing, trying to pick back up where I'd left off after high school and get "serious" about the craft.

Aside from that, life has led me along a path of sincere intentions which has shown me there is definitely more to this world than empiricism has ever charted. (Holy cow, just realizing the inspirations of men of science like Einstein and Tesla should make everyone realize there's such a thing as mystical revelation.)

A certain type of blockhead strain exists in humanity which has always feared natural power and sought to eradicate it, from time to time, nearly succeeding. We see such a mentality at work today, when evil men who have seized the power of government suppress the work of dedicated scientists, indigenous tribes are massacred in wars of cultural imperialism, and coporations brazenly patent ancient life forms and use law enforcement globally to violently prohibit their age-old keepers from even growing old, familiar plants.

Myself, I approach all stories of "the mystical" as an open-minded skeptic. This Saturday I'll be attending a healing seminar conducted by a local shaman I've met a few times. I'm intrigued by his claims and I know I'll never be sure about them without being open to the possibility that they might be true.

I do know, from personal experience, there is, of course, inspiration; there is such a thing as mystic revelation, including dreams of a prophetic nature and Buddha-like awakenings to reality's scope or true nature. I know there are sometimes even physical phenomena which are not susceptible to normal explanations. I've never been prone to believe in fortune-telling, but maybe I'm wrong. Sometimes the astrologers sure score some zingers.

Perhaps, despite what we're told we should believe, and disbelieve, there lies, just slightly out of reach -- until you stretch -- "practical magick" we can use.

Good luck.

"Your faith has made you whole."

Have the following text scroll from the bottom of the screen to the top, and whatever you do, DO NOT DEVIATE:

The REPUBLIC GALACTICA is dead. Ruthless trader barons, driven by greed and the lust for power, have replaced enlightenment with oppression, and "rule by the people" with the FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE.

For over a thousand years, generations of JEDI KNIGHTS were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy. Now these legendary warriors are all but extinct.

One by one they have been hunted down and destroyed by the sinister agents of the Emperor: the DARK LORDS OF THE SITH.

It is a period of civil wars. Rebel Armies, striking from fortresses hidden deep within the Great rift, have won a crushing victory over the powerful Imperial Starfleet. The Emperor knows that one more such defeat will bring a thousand more solar systems into the rebellion, and Imperial control of the Outland systems could be lost forever. To crush the rebellion once and for all, the Emperor has sent one of his most ferocious Dark Lords to find the secret rebel strongholds and destroy them... --------------- Just kidding. I mean, there's "Star Wars" and there's "Bram Stoker's Dracula" and here's "Casablanca," "The Hospital," "Network, God knows how many films start off with some form of exposition.

Some expert thoughts on your question can be read here:

http://mysterymanonfilm.blogspot.com/2007/08/exposition-with-david-muhlfelder.html

"It's not so much what the narrator says, but how it's said juxtaposed with the images onscreen. We get all the back story and set up, but the combination immediately pulls you into the world of the film." - David Muhlfelder

And an article on Exposition (literary technique) that might provide food for thought is here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposition_(literary_technique)

Hey, my latest script features a blonde woman with real breasts. If that doesn't beat expectations, what would?

What's going to be "in-between" "way too serious" and "way too juvenile" to induce the primary MOVIE MARKET of 18-24 year olds, or the secondary MOVIE MARKET of 24-36 year olds to leave their TV sets, video games, all cozy streaming media sources at home, and head for the theaters in droves? Those who even have the money to easily afford it, that is? This happens to be a media-saturated age in which everyone seeks to cut through the clutter and be noticed. This is what induces creators and politicians to go to apparent extremes, to appeal to the lowest common denominator, etc. It's all they know that still works at all to get a fat and lazy consumer population excited, off their asses and mobilized, for better or for worse. (Soon they'll have the problem of widespread economic collapse to contend with, too, more than likely.) Meantime, I don't think aiming for anything "in-between" is on anyone's mind at all. "In-between" anything will just fall through the cracks these days. That may be, in some ways, lamentable, but don't you think it's a fact, a "market reality?" Writers must sell to get their work made and seen. To do that, they're better off conceptualizing, thinking "high concept," aiming to wow the world with the great idea everyone's kicking themselves for not thinking of themselves. That's the mark we're generally not hitting in our writers' lairs. Personally, in terms of movies out there, I don't feel compelled to go see most of them, but I give the studios credit for making great historical epics recently, and taking chances on the endings with movies like "Million Dollar Baby" and "3:10 to Yuma." Writers have written that stuff, too.

Well, if you're trying to say movies are the stuff of thematics and characters facing moral dilemmas, then you're right. If you're saying this doesn't have to take the form of world-beating heroes or pee-pee ca-ca jokes, you're right. And that's true whether writing comedy or drama. But many writers, many filmmakers, and certainly most of the audience never really figure that out. Many people get through their whole lives and never figure out some pretty basic, pretty crucial things. If you want a chance to get in some "indispensable" entertainment (?), then use your power as a writer to lead the way. Done right, a great writer can make a compelling life and death story out of a hot dog stand. But remember that you have to talk to people in a language they can understand.

Bruce Joel Rubin wrote "Ghost," which came out in July, 1990. Using IMDB figures, it scored $507,000,000 worldwide, and it's been rated 6.8/10 by IMDB users. It "made" about $485,000,000 dollars.

Rubin also wrote "Jacob's Ladder," which came out in Nov.,1990. According to an interview in "Screewriters on Screewriting," by Joel Engel, this script was where he expressed a deeper, truer vision on the question of the matter of the transition from life to death as he actually sees it. Rated 7.4/10 by IMDB users, it grossed about $25,000,000 dollars. So it "made" about one million dollars. And internet users liked it somewhat better.

He said he wrote "Ghost" as "an attempt to write a story that could reach a particular audience." (That "particular audience" would be, of course, a "wide" one. Probably a Christian-influenced one.) He wrote "Jacob's Ladder" as an actual work of art, a labor of love, pondering on how the experience of dying might really affect the mind of a dying person, as opposed to the relatively trite confection of received afterlife notions presented in "Ghost." "Ghost" had more going for it than that, it also had a comic wrinkle in the casting of Whoopie Goldberg as a psychic medium between the deceased husband and his widow; the comedy element was that she didn't believe in psychich mediums, she was just a shuck and jive artist. "Jacob's Ladder" was a desperate, unfolding mystery for the audience where the presentation awarded careful attention and thoughtfulness only.

Mr. Rubin couldn't have made it to the screen with a serious movie like "J.L." without having had the success of the lighter-fluffier fare of "G." Both dealt with the same theme, though, one of the utmost seriousness. In each case, Mr. Rubin, a man who sees life from a very spiritual perspective, got to deal with a theme that fascinates him, the soul's journey from dark to light.

But look which one made the whopping pile of money. That's the one the studios really want from you. Consensus is that "Ghost" is not a bad film. Well, maybe not, but if I get my druthers, give me "Jacob's Ladder." Would I try to write a "Ghost" in order to get the chance to do a "Jacob's Ladder?" Hell, yes!

But now you have to do it in competition with the internet and camera phones in your effort to get it out into the theaters. And no one's going to be able to just wish those away.

Paula, you're probably right, but it was more conceptually exploratory than Ghost, and more genuine, according to the writer himself.

I remember "Ghost" as more cinematic, but my guess is that familiar story elements combined in the way they were carried the day. The Patrick Swayze character essentially freed himself from purgatory, and his widow, the Demi Moore character, got to sense his love and letting go, thus freeing herself for new love. It had a love story with the implications of Christian heaven and hell, a comedic element, and a happy ending with a twist, that being that it came out of a tragedy. Everything about it was SHOWN to the audience, with no guess work needed on their part. By contrast, "Jacob's Ladder" made the audience put the pieces of what they were seeing together themselves. The character's problem wasn't so much communicating with a still-living loved one, it was surrendering his own soul's resistance to the inevitable, thereby literally making peace with it instead of the confusing "war" with it which dominated the story. (Though that was fitting for a combat casualty.) I'm guessing it made the audience work too hard, it was an interior, rather "hallucinatory" esperience shared with the lead character's POV, and it lacked almost any kind of confection at all. A "tougher" film altogether, in my view. So "Ghost," evidently made on a very similar budget, was able to make nearly $500 million more dollars by being easier and more reassuring to more people. I think that's what a lot of writers aim for. Whether one likes it or not, I don't think you can blame them too much; might as well rail against the tides.

Yeah, sorry. I watched an episode of "Weeds" on line once, but I can't comment on TV because I practically don't watch any. Sitcom reruns, a little home and garden or food network with the wife for an hour to 90 min. while we relax after dinner, that's it for me where TV's concerned. Anyway, I don't take as bleak a view of movie fare as you're expressing, it doesn't look like all exploding cars or fart jokes to me, though I know the dreck is out there chasing a buck. As with anything else, I have to pick and choose. Not enough time or money to see 'em all, even if I did want to.

To answer your book question, get / read William C. Martell's "The Secrets of Action Screenwriting."

They laughed at me -- LAUGHED -- at the office, when I told them I hit the snooze bar at 2 AM Sunday morning when it was time to wake up and set the clocks forward an hour. But, one day they'll see, yes, they shall surely see, that despite my mortal flaws, such as a need for more sleep when awakened in the wee hours, I am a GREAT TACTICIAN, who PLANS AHEAD. One day, I will BUY and SELL THEM ALL!

Mine fell off the truck. I noticed Colin Costello had a script that advanced. I didn't scour the list with a fine tooth comb. Win some, lose some, keep a'goin.'

Right, Connie, I entered my latest finished script, called "Eclipse," in the ASA competition and it didn't advance. You know how it goes, the same work goes far in one contest, and nowhere at all in another. That happens to the work of everyone who enters scripts into contests.

The Writers' Guild uses a screen credit system to determine membership, and explains on its website what you need to do to become a Guild member. See details at the link below:

http://www.wga.org/subpage_whoweare.aspx?id=84

The signatory company agrees to abide by the MBA, Minimum Basic Agreement for paying writers. The company will use contracts that fulfill the requirements of the WGA, and those contracts are all available for download from their website.

For a company to become a signatory, its authorized representative fills out an application, which the WGA considers. You can get that application at this link:

http://www.wga.org/subpage_employer.aspx?id=1049

I read the article, Terry. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.

For anyone interested in similar material, other books I'd recommend include "Screenwriters on Screewriting" by Joel Engel (9 interviews with screenwriters); "The Screenwriting Life - The Dream, the Job, and the Reality," by Rich Whiteside (over two dozen interviews with persons from various roles in Hollywood); "From Script to Screen," by Linda Segar and Edward Whetmore (over 60 interviews with an array of players); and two books by producer Art Linson, "A Pound of Flesh," and "What Just Happened." Then, there's also William Goldman's "Adventures in the Screen Trade," and "Which Lie Did I Tell?"

For the character's comic-book fans, it was pitch-perfect, and Robert Downey, Jr. was perfectly cast. It is great popcorn entertainment with a heart. Did it contain some cliche elements? Yes. So do most monthly comic books. But it had lots of humor, it knit its elements together well, and avoided two common super-hero movie faults, never losing its logical coherency and generally not over reaching. I'm not a huge fan of the kind of big finales that usually go with action films; everything's set up and it's pretty predictable how it'll work to resolve the storyline. The method used to destroy the villain in this film should have killed Stark and Pepper, too. But these things call for some bit of suspension of disbelief. It entertained people well and it's making lots of money. Hey, critics on this board, after panning this flick, come back after you have your own #1 at the box office, so we can see how much better movies y'all have made, okay?

"Batman" is a classic of the genre, and may outlast them all in esteem. But it's no more believable than the rest. Even a corrupted police dept. would try harder than Gotham's to outdo a costumed vigilante as the citizens' protector from a rogue master villain. Now, if the Joker had been paying them off... but that was never shown.

These things aren't really meant to be over-analyzed, though. They are pseudo-orgasmic releases for the id that pay it all off with a boost to the ego and a compliment to the superego. In other words, a good way to get your rocks off between cheeseburgers.

Ben, I'm not spending a whole lot of time on the board lately, but having seen your question now, no, I'm just struggling to write scripts for now. I am converting one to comic book format, though, and trying out an artist with the material. The script's getting compliments from producers, but it hasn't found a buyer. Gotta be more than one way to interest a studio, I think...

You've probably seen the new "Narnia" has displaced "Iron Man" at #1, and I suspect Indy will soon topple "Narnia" from that position after its release, due to the immense popularity of the franchise as movies, better established than Narnia and with Harrison Ford's tremendous star power. The target demographic for "Indy" ought to have money for the show, if anyone still does. I also have a theory that action flicks set in "the real world" will generally trump those set in pure fantasy worlds.

"Iron Man" has good word of mouth, and will probably stay strong for a while, though, is my guess. You may or may not know, the longer a movie is in theaters, the larger the percentage of the receipts goes to the theaters. The studios get the biggest cut up front; hence, the studio execs' obsession with the opening weekend.

Thanks for this, Orlanda. I just went to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqBZd0cP5Yc

and saw it again. And you'll see other video messages about it on Youtube.

People, you're part of the problem if you don't do something to try to make democracy work in the USA. If you've read the analysis of recent stolen elections by Mark Crispin Miller, Bob Fitrakis, and Robert Kennedy, Jr., you may have gotten a clue that democracy has already been all but smothered out of existence in this country. This bill is one of the results of that, along with all the contrived fatherland security crap that has allowed the appointed "president" tool of the globalist Establishment to decree himself dictator in the USA. Intimidate Congress with big numbers. Big number$ and US Army weaponized anthrax letters have *bought* them and *cowed* them while you snoozed; now we have to make them afraid of us, or lose everything, as Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln alike feared we would.

Look up your member of Congress and voice your opposition to this bill. Get everyone you know to do the same. Raise hell.

Or go to it.

Your choice.

http://www.opensecrets.org/index.php

Oops, the YouTube video turns out to be a monger of "FUD" -- fear, uncertainty and doubt, and I believed it for a little while. Always keep checking...

I just learned of the video today and watched it a little while ago. But since my excited posting that followed, more research I've committed shows two prior versions from the 109th Congress (this one is the 110th) are "dead." Further information about it can be gained here.

H.R. 5889: Orphan Works Act of 2008 (introduced) http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-5889

FULL TEXT of the BILL:

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=h110-5889

As an incredible cluster of sleazy, wealth-and-rights-siphoning chicanery has been performed by this government since Coup2K (even more than before it), there is plenty of reason for all that FUD these days, but the video misrepresents the bill, as it turns out, so I'm calming down a bit.

What had me worked up was the video narrative indicating that if this bill passes, copyright protections as they have existed since 1976 will be abolished. That was the round of revisions that eliminated the need to sign and use the copyright symbol for every work along with registration with Library of Congress Copyright Office for a measure of protection. (Registering with the LoC always afforded stronger legal protections, but you owned your work and no one could use it without your permission, though proving ownership was more difficult without registration, obviously.) We are now given to understand (by the videos' makers) that legal protection from registration with the US Copyright office, both past and future, will cease to offer statutory protection if this bill passes. If so, no, this is NOT about aiding the federal budget in the face of the super-ballooning federal deficits we have not accidentally been saddled with in the past eight years (which fosters eternal debt slavery for us to the owners of the Federal Reserve, which is a privately held corporation controlled by the world's most powerful bankers, and gives us ever-decreasing value from government from our paid taxes due to ballooning interest service on the debt). That is one real outrage we are passively permitting every day because hardly anyone understands what's happening.

It is alleged by the narrator that each and all new created original works, and any such thing already copyrighted, will have to be registered with private registries. One can only imagine what a short step it is from there to the "market-based solution" (holy choir sings here) of legally allowing wealthy corporate conglomerates to bid against artists of modest means for control of work they are trying to register. If this bill were real and it were to pass, it would become "pay up" for every sketch, every story, every song you produce, or go underground and hope you don't have anything of value that sees the light of day. If it ain't registered, it would allegedly be decreed an "orphan" work legally up for grabs in a new version of "the free marketplace." (Holy choir, again.)

However, upon reading the actual bill, all this appears to be a hysteria-mongering fabrication. What a relief! It's too much like too much else government would do in these times. Well, the price of freedom is eternal vigilance, indeed; if such a bill ever does pass, it will adversely affect all artistic creators. But this proposed bill, the one in the real world that you can actually verify online, has been misrepresented by various Youtube video makers. Either that, or let them identify the H.R. (House Resolution) or S. B. (Senate Bill) by number, as I have here... and I don't think they can.

H.R. 5889 (full text at link provided above, in my last post) doesn't say anything in common with that You Tube video. It basically sets forth a definition of legal requirements for what constitutes a reasonable search for the owner of a copyright. If those requirements are met, the person using the material, having met the requirements, may still be later found in civil actions to have infringed the copyright, but the damages owed the copyright owner in such cases are also limited by the bill. The bill does not, as the video maker claimed, abolish existing copyright, it does not privatize all registration, and it does not require private registration of all works before they can be said to be owned by their creators. I would put nothing past the US government these days, but this bill simply does not do the things the video maker claims.

The bill addresses some finer points, too, but nothing about it even resembles the claims made in the video.

It also mandates that a visual database be created by the LoC. Methinks Photosynth may have found a client.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/129

Photosynth is amazing. Check it out.

Movie Magic Screenwriter can save as PDFs, too. You still need Acrobat, or possibly some third party programs, to set security on the PDF file, though, such as setting a password or preventing others from printing.

IMO, with eight years of perspective on it, there's not much point in posting any of your writing work on the web, unless you want to provide people with a little free entertainment. Getting listings for your scrips in subscription service inktip.com and providing your script there as a downloadable PDF, in combination with winning contests and getting the results published in their quarterly magazine which goes out to producers, may draw some form of industry interest. Putting things you write yourself on your own web site? "Not so much."

Well, let's hope that a law such as the one the You Tube video "warns" against never occurs. Because, by and large, the people are hardly unified or organized. (Well, doctors are starting to form unions in some places now to resist the power of HMOs...)

I think there's always someone ready to sell their granny for a few crumbs. When things get bad enough, someone will proudly announce, at the next family picnic, "Gee, cousin Mel, I'm sorry you're hurtin.' Me, I get a roof over my head, three square meals a day, and this fancy black uniform with shiny buckles and a pistol, and all I have to do is drive people to the ovens every day."

We only recently had an attempt to break the writers' guild, and without that union and the bottom rates it negotiated, who knows what the price of a script would be? Sooner or later, people will be taking what they can get.

I knew a couple of very fine commercial artists (book covers, NASA contracts, etc.) who I recently heard have been forced to quit decades-long careers due to such developments as internet talent-bidding pool sites putting them in global competition, against people either living in places with a lower cost of living, or people just wanting to get started by undercutting everyone else, thinking they'll make it up in the long term. How they think that'll work (their long-term gains) in such an environment is anyone's guess.

In the atomized society, only the collectivist oligarchy has strength, whether the oligarchy is called fascist (marriage of church, state, and corporation in one party) or communist (unified state in one party).

And, by the way, those "bundles of rods" carvings at either end of the speaker's platform in the nation's Capitol Building are known as "Fasces." So, it's worth keeping your eyes open.

... as a finalist in The Writers' Place comp with "The Nutcracker" making it to the finals. Connie Tonsgard just keeps making top lists in these contests. What's your secret, Connie?

Not familiar, but jumping to number ten in the results of a Google search brought an article on a Georgia film company named Silver*Ware Studios, Inc. (SWSI).

http://www.24-7pressrelease.com/press-release-rss/silverware-studios-takes-on-independent-films-54931.php

I guess you'll have to figure out if these are your people in question... good luck!

Well, huge-scale economics is behind all this, as well as technology, a by-product of capital formation and distribution in the past four decades of consumer electronics. How huge-scale economics is managed is a political question. By now, we have no real input into political questions at anything beyond the local level, nor, by and large, do we apparently desire to have it. We're a people with our eyes closed and fingers crossed, nothing more. Meanwhile, central bankers you've mostly never heard of set the trends. The insiders who feed at the big trough blindfold you with the flag and stick a cross to your head, gun-style. Then they turn you upside down and shake the change out of your pockets. It's all you've ever known. You accept it as normal.

This decade, we're running nigh onto eight years of wildly slashed tax cuts for entities in the upper brackets, and even more wildly increased government spending, using borrowed money (bills printed unreservedly by those central bankers as the owners of institutions such as the Federal Reserve) that will have to be paid back with interest. This has all taken place amidst an atmosphere of pure cronyism; outfight plunder of the Treasury; privileged selective lawbreaking in the conquered territories; de-regulation; obstructed and delayed enforcement at home; and the loosest credit ever all 'round.

Now, this working combination is the definition of foolishness, unless you're in on the crony capitalist circuit. Even then, you play the risk of killing the goose that lays the golden eggs you're so crazy about. Every time this formula is followed, our economic underpinnings collapse and our capital-dependent institutions fail. We always buy the next round anyway. Every time, we get a lot of media hype in favor of it all, as large investors (owners, advertisers, shadowy figures with off shore accounts) reap the booty. After a few years of this, we take it on the chin with severe recessions. They call it "the business cycle," but the way it's managed from on high by cosmopolitan financiers makes it, really, a perennial Ponzi scheme.

Don't you wish you had taken all the money you had five or six years ago and put it on the international currency exchange to trade into Euros? If you had, you'd have cleaned up instead of losing your shirt in your 401(k) stocks.

When the internationally syndicated rulers of the earth (owner-controllers of The Bank of International Settlements, IMF, World Bank, and the owners of the private Central national banks like the Federal Reserve) want to refashion things on a big scale for the sake of growing empire, extending their bought political control, forging new market opportunities, and grabbing natural resources, they go ahead and break whatever's there so they can put it back together in the way they want it, often backing both sides in the wars they foster as they do this great work.

At last, that principle of Realpolitikal governance is outlined in Naomi Kline's "The Shock Doctrine," though even she soft-pedals, in some ways, what these people have already been willing to do.

Consider this fact: there is not a single large-scale economic engine left in the United States left today to drive us to renewed prosperity. The automakers were the last biggie we had left, at least making durable consumer goods. They've gone from dwindling, to offshoring, to the edge of extinction, due to their recent "huge" auto trends and the nearly fourfold -- and growing -- increase in fuel costs that followed (eerily similar to what happened in the '70s OPEC-induced gas lines period). We may see a depression this time, in more than just our moods.

I doubt there's anybody who reads this board who knows the Bush family history (Nazi connections, bin Laden family & BCCI connections, etc.) or what a cancer that ultra-mendacious, blueblood dynasty has been on the body of American democracy for many years. However, our un-Constitutional "Unitary Executive" president (dictator, do you mind?) signed what amounts to a treaty in March of 2005 with Canada and Mexico creating the SPP, Security and Prosperity Partnership. It's un-Constitutional, since it's un-ratified by Congress, but in these idiotic and corrupted days, who cares? As a direct outgrowth of this illegal act, facts on the ground are proceeding to form, that will be as irreversible as the effects of NAFTA's economic devastations and the subsequent tide of illegal immigration. Work has commenced on slicing the US nation in two geographically, with a new N-S toll transportation system whose profits are to go to a Spanish firm that you can bet the members of the Council on Foreign Relations are invested in. And it has even been (barely) mentioned in the corporate, "mainstream" media that the new "Amero" currency is to actually come into play once the SPP full blooms into the new "North American Union," which is supposed to happen very soon, as in 2010.

In other words, put plainly, the planned death of the U.S. dollar is apparently underway. The enemies of "The New Deal" and their descendents, with their now-total control of the federal American government by hook and by crook, are slipping us the version they always desired: "The Raw Deal."

You've heard the old saw about it being necessary when making an omelette to break a few eggs? Well, can count the dollar as an egg being broken for this souffle.

I say this not so much to instruct, because it's clear to me by now that people never learn when it comes to politics. And we're too far gone into an abyss of confusion, idiocy, and apathy by now, anyway. I say it as a weather advisory: what you and everyone else is feeling in your bones, that there is something very "wrong" going on, is true. Maybe you can't put your finger on it; if so, that's because you don't understand how we're actually ruled. That is a topic verboten for the broadcast "trusted authorities" you're trained to count on to elucidate, and anyone who does enough homework to basically figure it out, like me, automatically becomes a "crank." But I do believe there is a fierce storm coming, and we're seeing the EARLY effects -- including the evisceration of our beloved movie industry.

Paula,

That could happen, but may depend on whether the planned replacement of the US dollar is actually carried out, and, if so, how it is valuated. If it's just worth a nickel on your current, already highly eviscerated dollar, my guess is everybody can just practice "duck and cover," i. e., bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.

But, who knows? Hollywood offers escapism and pseudo-cathartic release. People will seek that out if they can possibly afford it. If the rest of the world, or ven just Europe, proves capable of floating without much of the imperial "homeland's" markets, the movie business may do well, at least compared to most other businesses. Profit on movies is already said to be about 2/3 foreign sales and DVD fees exceed box office. Add to that what's already noted in the article that sparked this discussion, the multiplicity of new media entertainment media, and we have a big "who knows?" What looks familiar to me is independents being muscled out of existence and production cutbacks in an atmoshphere of retrenchment and concentration of power.

The future of Hollywood in the possible coming Depression is debated a bit in this article:

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/film/article3858113.ece

Government is meddling a whole lot more in the supposedly free markets. A Federal "plunge protection team" using funny money to strategically invest and prevent a stock market meltdown, begun in the Clinton years, continues (with its work cut out for it) in the present. Added to that is new regulatory legislation supposedly designed to curb speculative investing in oil before the nation is paralyzed by skyrocketing fuel prices. That's too new to comment on much, yet. This is the kind of "fox in the henhouse" Administration that turns departments against the functions they were intended to perform, so we'll have to see if it saves anything for the people, or merely serves as yet another form of raiding to benefit the insiders.

But as for Hollywood, if there's already way too much product and the studios have cut back on production 80-90%, it's fair to guess that a squeeze is on and big paychecks are bound to get more rare. All this means both ends will squeeze out the middle, as happened from the '80s and ever since to the acting profession. It's big bucks or next to nothing; middling incomes on steady work became practically non-existent.

Randy, thanks for contributing your business perspective as an independent filmmaker to the thread. Big biz, studios or any entity, having a working scheme that stiffs investors is exactly consonant with the things I'm saying, though.

The only bill that Pres. Bill Clinton vetoed in the '90s that passed into law over his veto was the Securities and Exchange Reform Act of 1995, another deregulatory measure that made a practice that had been a crime into business as usual. In that instance, enterprises issuing prospectuses were free to use certain types of creative valuations to represent their net worth to investors. A firm might have, say, a 30 billion contract set for a thirty year period, but with many conditions and what-ifs as to whether or not it was ever all fulfilled. They became free, no worries, to misrepresent the full value of contracts like that as part of their existing net worth to investors. Everyone flocks to "the strong." Of course, it was an illusion, the latest phase to date in the evolving Ponzi scheme that is our economics today. Everybody remember the bursting of the cot-com bubble, Enron, Tyco, Global Crossing, et al.? That terrible fiasco could have all been avoided. Some quick mega-fortunes would not have been made, but we'd all have a sounder economy under our feet. Same with the the Savings & Loan trillion and a half dollar pludering in the 1980s that the taxpayers were placed on the hook to make good, with interest, to bailout entities for 40 years. Well, we're about halfway there, at least... What gets me is there's no need for the perps to even pretend, or hide what they're doing, so little does Congress work for us any more since the discrediting of political liberalism in general. Ronald Reagan joshed at the signing ceremony for that deregulatory bill, and I heard it on tape, "Gentlemen, this time I believe we've really hit the jackpot." They sure did!

Randy, I hope you're right about America pulling through, with a tradition of "liberty and justice for all," I might add. If it's just a dictatorship going into the future, I personally don't really care what happens to it, or to us, for not having saved what should have been the light of freedom in the world.

Instead, we've reached the point of being led by men who disdain due process and "disappear" people into torture dungeons. I see the dreads and fears of the Founders, against standing armies, against central banks, against intrigues with foreign powers, fears shared by Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, and John Kennedy, as standard operating procedure, and believe they were justified. Since the example of the Kennedys in the '60s, I don't think any president has had the guts to stand much opposed to what Georgetown U. Prof. J. Carroll Quigley called "a network of Anglophiles..." (Tragedy & Hope, 1966) "The powers of financial capitalism had a far-reaching plan, nothing less than to create a world system of financial control in private hands, able to dominate the political system of each country and the economy of the world as a whole." Plainly put, that means "ruling the world," eh?

Woodrow Wilson helped those guys immensely by signing into law the Federal Reserve Act in 1913. That gave the supreme power in America to eight bankers. Truman, by signing the National Security Act of 1947, gave the syndicates grown by this cartel a covert enforcement army, spies, con men, and assassins, with the blessings of the state. Both presidents repented of these deeds before their deaths, once they saw what had happened to the USA as a result. Too late. And the public still doesn't grasp it. Give us a 9/11 and we flock into the arms of what Truman himself called "a monster."

Once they were freed, the people of East Germany had the sense and the guts to storm Stasi HQ. That's what can't happen here, I'm afraid. It's plain that we'll never agree, as a people, to target "the system" of make-believe credit and debt slavery, so we won't change the way money works, we won't win against its law of diminishing returns now in full operation. In our limited awareness, we'll keep tearing each other new assholes over the party labels we wear, and never touch the root problems, while plutocrats make nations into playthings of their own private will.

Given the ideals of Constitutional republic under which it was founded, I believe the USA has already ended. We need a new name for this place, to match what it's become.

Of course, this could all fade into insignificance soon. This is the first year the scientific betting pool is going 50/50 on whether there'll be ice at the north pole this summer.

Despite my saying all this, as far as creative efforts, by no means would I ever suggest anyone give up. The divine blessing of the spirit is what makes us do that. For artists of all stripes, something exists in our spirits that makes creativity what life is worth living for. That's regardless of whatever regime is dominant in our time.

And I could be wrong about everything, in which case, I'd be delighted.

There aren't any true hard-and-fast rules, just better and worse ways to do things. Doing things the better ways improves your chances, eh? A lot of these cautions come from over-use of a given device as seen by readers who feel there are better ways to treat the dramatic content. In other words, if you can't find a better way to get some exposition across than flashback or voice-over, try "Pope in the Pool." :-) (If you don't get that reference, see "Save the Cat," pg. 123.)

I just got the word, my script entry, "Eclipse," made it so far, too, "top 25%" in a field of 3,865 scripts. Hey, it's a start! Meanwhile, we takes our feel-goods where we can gets 'em.

Thanks for the good wishes, Geoffrey. And, Jean, the PAGE category for my script was "Thriller/ Horror," so no competition with "Family," really.

Jean, thanks for the interest. I like to call "Eclipse" a "supernatural drama." It is plotted and paced like a thriller, but dressed up as a horror movie, with character drama at its heart because I want grown-ups to like it. But the core plot's what Blake Snyder calls, "Golden Fleece."

I felt I took a little bit of a chance in layering it up. In the event, it's gone nowhere or done quite well in various contests. (Sound familiar, gang?)

The ones where it goes nowhere, I don't plan on entering again. I don't claim to be the world's greatest writer, but I know I'm far from the worst, as well -- having absorbed a few writing lessons by now, usually the hard way, ha ha. If the readers at a given contest don't see the merits of my best piece to date, they're just not my audience, and they won't throw me a bone. Given its status as a contest, I'm glad somebody at PAGE has been "my audience," so far.

And now you may say a few words about your own screenplay entry, please.

Jean, thanks for posting the PAGE numbers! Considering subject matter and casting, it sounds like you're really taking chances yourself with "Serena's Thunder."

I've noticed your gettings-around, too. I'm sure it's a fine script. Good luck to you.

I realized I hadn't said anything about the "Eclipse" plot. Okay: ----------------------------------- PREMISE: Could the priest of the parish be the werewolf who ravages his own flock by night?

LOGLINE: When a werewolf terrorizes a Cyprus village, the townspeople suspect that their priest is the monster. In order to save the town and his own good name, the demonized priest must overcome his own doubts to discover and defeat the real culprits, with the help of an unlikely ally. ------------------------------------

This has a couple of factors in the plot I've never seen done in the movies, along with the familiar werewolf subject matter. I never thought I'd write anything involving a werewolf, but there it is. (Long story.) This is the only title I can imagine for it, because it perfectly suits the lead character's inner drama as well as his struggle with the antagonist.

About a month after I finished it, which was last August, I got an email from Borders promoting a Stephanie Mayer novel titled -- "Eclipse," what else? A vampire story. These things always happen to me, no joke.

Marty, it looks as if we can split the odds at PAGE in Thriller/Horror and each have a one in 207 chance at the genre crown, eh?

As for zombies vs. werewolves, I suspect that's a numbers game of a different sort. How many zombies ya got there, buddy? 'Cause we all know werewolves are faster and fiercer than zombies, don't we. And they're cunning, too -- you won't spot any werewolves lurching around, moaning for "BRAIIINNSSS..." No need!

But, if you have as many zombies in your script as, say, Romero packed into that shopping mall, well, maybe my werewolves ought to stay in for a nice round of tiddleywinks.

Finally, a cross-germination of ideas on these boards. Who'd 'a thunk it?

Patrick, thanks for posting this. I hope you'll keep us posted on ensuing developments, as well. I'm doing exploratory drawings with an eye toward possibly making "graphic novels" (fancy name for a long comic book) of one or two of my scripts. These things are picked up and developed often, and I figure, what started as a movie idea that I, an agentless scriptwriter living in Tennessee, could only get in a few doors as a script, might be acquired once someone in a studio's literary acquisitions dept. actually "sees" the story. These will be long-term projects, I'm afraid, but maybe I can accomplish them if I regularly devote a portion of my free time to the goal. Kind of like regular ol' writing, eh? Good luck to ya.

1. Sit in front of the PC. 2. Launch my script formatting software 3. Look over the notes I've written on my structure charts during my lunch hour. 4. Start reading and rewriting a few pages back from where I left off the previous session, usually the previous evening. 5. Proceed with writing my next scenes based on the day's notes.

I know -- BORRR-ring!

Nathan nailed the title. Martin nailed the logline. Rework the *story* to fit the pro-level material they have provided.

Jean's right. It's MUCH faster to register electronically. I didn't realize they'd put up that capability and registered my last finished work the old fashioned way. It was NINE MONTHS before I received my certificate. Register online here: http://www.copyright.gov/

For anyone who wishes to deal with an outfit that calls itself "Laundromarketing," your path is clear, as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know where he is just now, but congrats to ex-pat Brit and eternal Australian Mark Familton for "Descent," making the semis in Sci-Fi, too -- with his first screenplay. Mark's a go-getter.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it any further... to be with the rest of you... up there... (gasp) (cough)...

(He expires.)

"I guess it just scares me how someone can do SO WELL and not get sold."

Amen to that. We hope Jean will sell one of these award-winning scripts to help us validate how we're spending our time, and give us hope that out own writing, if/ when it becomes as refined for "Hollywood's" desires, will also sell for big sums.

Odds are against us all no matter what we do. Right place at right time with right script, what are the odds?

I'm for second childhood with video cameras and friends making our own damn little movies. And mud pies, what the hell.

What are you looking for? Are you in a dispute? marklitwak.com gives a heck of a lot of free advice. Booke A. Wharton's book, "The Writer Got Screwed (But Didn't Have To)" covers a lot of writerly legal ground. You might also want to check out "This Business of Screenwriting (How to Protect Yourself as a Screenwriter)" by Ron Suppa. There's also a book for writers in general, "The Writer's Legal Companion," by Brad Bunnin and Peter Beren.

Did you get an offer on a script and need someone to negotiate terms? It is possible to locate attorneys on findlaw.com, but be warned, some of the entertainment attorneys are pompous blowhards who hobnob with the multi-millionaires of the business and they won't want to talk to you. I had one of that variety who went out of his way to threaten to sue me just for making an email inquiry once. There are some who are more human and may agree to represent you on a consignment (percentage) basis if you can bring them a solid offer you've obtained for a script, then they may negotiate terms for you. Don't expect them to act as your agent, though, they won't. And I can tell you that the studios and major production companies don't respect the fact that you have an attorney in your corner. That is not an "in" unless that attorney is already doing regular business with someone in their company.

The oligarchy looks you indirectly in the eye and reminds you to mind your convention.

*!

The list was posted and a corrected email was sent after a funny-looking list posted on the initial email notice made me check the web site. "The next round to be announced September 17." My "Eclipse" is listed in that third or so that survived round one, but, for some reason it is credited to my website as the writer. :-) I guess now we who have scripts on the list just need to ask ourselves if we want to succeed in this contest or not, considering their demand for 7% of the purchase price if the script sells. Any of the works listed from now to the end, they'll no doubt consider to fall under their "promotional efforts" and be subject to that clause in the fine print. Oh, well, we all know how unlikely a script sale is to result from entering, even winning, contests.

I just, belatedly, read this thread. One of my favority films to blur the line between reality and an altered state of consciousness is "Jacob's Ladder," the script of which can be found here:

http://sfy.ru/sfy.html?script=jacobs_ladder

If you ever saw that film, I think you'd agree that it plays with the interiority of the mind about as much as any film ever has (except maybe for some of the later David Lynch stuff which never really draws the line for the viewer). Yet, if you read the "J.L." screenplay, you'll find all the sluglines play it totally straight.

If a character's life is being punctuated by dream messages for psychological purposes or some-such, I'd go with Randy's suggestion, demarcating the dream sequences. But it sounds more like you're trying to achieve "immersion," and not a clear separation between dream/ fantasy and reality, at least not until late in the story.

There was a point to doing that in "The Sixth Sense" and "Jacob's Ladder," so to me, it's important that the reader gets your point at the end. You can't control how readers read your work. If you get enough feedback, you eventually realize they're all over the road and it's a "luck of the draw" affair as to how much of your material, even if it's well thought-out and well-written, they will understand. (This is why the safer course is writing to the eighth-grade comprehension level. Readers are not dumb, but they work under grinding time pressure and their job is to find any reason to say "no.") Since a "pass" is the most likely fate of any script taking any chances, then if you're going to take a chance, you might as well do it with some artistic integrity. My two cents' worth.

The bookstore might be a resource. Jeff Herman publishes an "Annual Guide to Book Editors, Publishers, and Literary Agents."

If you opt to be your own editor, take your time and read every single word "fresh." The words have to be meaningful to you before you can edit effectively, and when you've just finished a lenghty, involved manuscript, that's pretty near impossible. Two books that can be helpful in making revisions are "Stein on Writing" by Sol Stein (truly excellent) and "Revising Fiction" by David Madden.

I'm guessing you're referring to the subject matter found at:

http://www.slashfilm.com/2007/12/09/the-hottest-unproduced-screenplays-of-2007/

Noting the political nature of much of the material, I think one possible lesson here is that producers would like to produce fare that is seen by the financial sector as too likely to divide the electorate, i.e., to alienate a potential sector of the audience, or perhaps even to expose "them" (the elite financial sector mavens themselves) too much for comfort.

Time has changed the industry in many ways. Read old scripts for movies like "Vertigo," compare the lengthy descriptions to what's expected in scripts now, when anything over two lines is considered a "lengthy passage."

Speculation: I suspect scripts written by the well-connected may also factor in to some of what you've read, though I have no idea what you've read. But consider the '70s tale of Mario Puzo being commissioned to write "Superman" and, due to his utter lack of knowledge of screenplay format, the result was over 500 pages which had to be overhauled by Benton & Newman. I'm sure that's a drastic and rare case, but conceivably, if a writer with good connections, sure of a considered read by one or more industry pros, wanted to adapt a novel, say, as a "treatment script" intended to be pared down later, s/he might include more lengthy passages to help sell the project conceptually first.

"Overly ambitious."

Or have #10 try to locate the top nine, and, unlike the FBI, succeed. His mission? Obtain their secrets of success in being more wanted than he is. Only the FBI is tailing him and taking them all down as he finds them. Title? "If You See Me Comin'..." or maybe "Least Wanted Felon."

Yep, the latest draft of "Eclipse" is in there, thanks for asking. I've submitted the script I just finished to the monthly as well, for the feedback if nothing else. Donna White's running a good contest here, I agree. Winning a monthly did bring some producer queries. Maybe I'll get lucky enough to have that happen with the new script, too. Who knows, luck of the draw, and all that.

"Braaaaainnssss."

I just visited the site, and I don't know what the winners win. And I see that only the titles, not the writers' and filmmakers' names, get publicized on the site. Still, Irin and Jean, congratulations, and I hope the trip was worthwhile.

Yes, we demand details! We'll make it easy on you. We'll be just outside, running along, frantically waving our arms, right behind your train car. Just step to the back, open the door, and shout out your updates as your trip progresses.

Well, it does sound like you're really cooking with gas now. You've been pursuing this dream for a long time and you have a right to be excited. For the rest of us, it is a hopeful sign that talent and persistence really can pay off. Actually, I'm hoping persistence alone may also carry the day, but... congratulations!

You can't copyright a title, per se, so unless you've made substantial changes to the text as well, I wouldn't bother.

A large, panic-oriented demographic exists in America today, centered in evangelical Christian sects, that is bewildered and wants redemption either in reassurance that life is worth living ("Fireproof"), or in Rapturous deliverance from its evils ("Left Behind"). Catering to that primal emotional need with one or the other of those promises can be highly profitable. There's gold in them there hills for those with the stomach for it, and the marketing and distribution moxy.

"Fireproof" gets "46%" at rottentomatoes.com, where one critic comments, "In the history of marital discord in the movies, has there ever been a blander conflict than the one between firefighter Kirk Cameron and his goodly wife Erin Bethea in the dismal Christian-themed melodrama Fireproof?"

But critics don't pay the rent, whereas this church group has proven it can make and distribute a movie that makes back ten times its investment in a few days' time. There is where the power is.

"Fireproof" is probably just a sweet story, hopefully, not too sacharine. Certainly, trouble in marriages is not rare. Religious belief is one thing, maybe the strongest thing, that can help save one in trouble. This may not be the most sophisticated audience, or fare, but the market is huge.

In a more general, probably more positive sense, the market for "mind/body/spirit" material is reportedly swelling. The market niches are out there for material that is inspiring, even better when it also entertains. But it's easier to reach and make big bucks on easily-targeted church groups than on scattered individuals who want to empower themselves somehow. So the more overtly religious, reifying stuff is going to have more success, I would think, than inward-centered, personal spiritual discovery stuff. Oprah Winfrey promoting Eckhart Tolle's "Power of Now" books to a large audience is an exception to that rule.

Waxing sociological now, these days remind me of the early 1970s, an endless war (two, this time) in progress, energy crisis, crooks in charge of the country using covert operatives against political enemies, gas lines, slogans, massive corporate bailouts (today's dwarf those, but they, NYC and Chrysler, set the stage), and sleight of hand softening people up for further power grabs by a small, well-connected elite.

Evangelizing got a big boost in that climate, too, and in the movies we got "Billie Jack" and "The Cross and the Switchblade" to straighten things out with bracing messages from champions ranging the moral frontier.

Nowadays, we're stuck with the Kultur Wars, and I watch for signs of covert agendas. Does a message demand that you blindly "submit," or does it help you gain in personal wisdom and insight? Christian Dominionists, an Old-Testament oriented fascist movement exploiting Christianity in politics, has advanced greatly through the years. They hooked up with the Zionist lobby, and together they basically own Hillary Clinton and many other politicians and military leaders in this country that might surprise you. This alliance have run the Bush administration, and at least one GOP cyber-security expert, Steven Spoonamore, says that through the DREs, they control the outcome of many elections, too, no matter what the people thought they were voting for.

The control groups are out to shatter and then reform old configurations to get the arrangement they want, and they're willing to do a lot of damage in the process. This being the case, profit from panic and dismay are going to be with us for a long while, and the market for this type of movie is not going away. It may even become the dominant form, eventually, depending on the turns in the Right's normative culture wars agsinst the freer and sometimes more decadent popular forms. Just this summer, at least two desperate nuts went on liberal-killing sprees, and now members in John McCain/Sarah Palin's audiences are audibly getting worked up to "kill Obama." It's not inconceivable to me in these times that the USA might become the next stage for "Hotel Rwanda"-type events as fiscally-induced panic spreads -- which most of the population will never understand, preferring by conditioning now the ease of scapegoating the powerless rather than the effort of research and analysis.

Will blood flow in the streets? And will "Dick Steele, Secret Agent for God" replace James Bond in the movies as the good people "left behind" in a purified America seek entertainment? It seems unlikely, but, at one time, so did what's already happened to America.

Janet, you sound like me in one way when it comes to writing, Frank Sinatra could be singing, "I did it my way" as the soundtrack to our efforts. It sounds like you've written something that gives you an uphill marketing battle, but I do think times like this could represent an opening of sorts. The powers that be in all spheres can't help but be shaken, and they might be open to new ideas. How well did "Chicago" do? How about "Across the Universe?" I haven't checked out their grosses, but I would assume they eventually made money. Query those producers.

It does seems to me there aren't a lot of producers who've made musicals recently that are available to query. Maybe you could try a roundabout way and see if you could interest a Broadway musical producer in your material. You know the Circe de Soleil has a movie coming out, which is a film of their stage performance. That might represent an approach to getting your own work done. If there's a producer who could provide talent, costuming, and props, there might be an independent production company who'd be open to looking at the idea, considering that factor could reduce their own expenses. Here you'd probably need an agent, but I guess there's a chance that maybe someone at the prodco would be capable of helping you attach a bankable star, and between them, perhaps someone could even suggest a producer or two who might buy your presentation. If you can do that much legwork, at that point, your ball might just get rolling on that musical project.

Jage, I think you have an interesting notion. But, considering these reactions, the trauma inducing the split personality could be something other than rape. I'd suggest reading "The Minds of Billy Milligan," by Daniel Keyes. Perhaps the woman is the mistress of the Godfather character, and she's framed to look like a betrayer of his secrets, for which he puts her through a series of tortures. If she confesses, he'll kill her quickly, if she doesn't, the tortures will kill her slowly. Let's say she really loves this guy and takes refuge in other personalities to bury her competing desire to kill him. Is this a useful alternative direction to take your catalyst?

          EXT. WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT

               Twilight settles over the nation's capital.

Let's play a new game an liven up this board a little more. We're all supposed to be writing screenplays, right? Well, let's lay out the page one from the latest script we've finished, or, if you really want to live risky, the one you're working on right now. If you have a formatted text file, it looks like placing tags

 before the text selection and 

after the text will keep the formatting on the Moviebytes page.

The object is to elicit feedback. Do you want to keep reading? Why, or why not? Ready... set...

Okay, that came out well. Ahem. The tags are pre and /pre , enclosed in angle brackets "< >".

          EXT. WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT

               Twilight settles over the nation's capital.

INT. WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT

KENT MORRIS, early 30s, a square-jawed, buzz-cut hunk of muscle in knit turtleneck shirt and jacket, flanked by two suited Agents, hustles down a flight of stairs to a door.

INT. WHITE HOUSE - WINDOWLESS ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Morris takes a seat at a table. Seated at the opposite end, the aquiline-faced, calculating JACOB THRELL, 50s.

THRELL Mr. Kent Morris.

MORRIS Yeah, I'm here. Don't know why. Never worked for the NSC before.

THRELL You know, the CIA tried to cover for you. That station chief's now assigned to Kyrgyzstan. Given your skills, we thought you might prefer a more interesting form of atonement.

MORRIS Atonement? If you guys had your act together, Mister...

THRELL Threll. Jacob Threll. The man you helped across the border wasn't supposed to make it.

MORRIS Are you fighting terrorists, or not?

Threll slides a small manila envelope to Morris, who reluctantly tears it open. Reads the single sheet of paper.

MORRIS No way. This is false flag stuff. That's a career ender. In the worst way. No. I'm outta here.

THRELL I was hoping you'd say that.

Oh, well, that almost worked. Want to read page two, or not? Whip out your page ones, people.

Wow, nice work, folks. Janet, keep us posted.

FADE IN:  EXT. THE PACIFIC OCEAN - NIGHT  

SUPERIMPOSE: "Kula Gulf, Solomon Islands."    

Brilliant lightning illuminates a group of American warships.  

SUPERIMPOSE:  "Task Force 18, July 5, 1943, 23:30 hours."  

EXT. BATTLESHIP - NIGHT  

A massive Navy cruiser cuts through a blinding squall.  

SUPERIMPOSE: "USS Helena"  

INT. USS HELENA - SLEEPING QUARTERS - NIGHT  

A copy of The Sporting News lies on a neat bunk.  Baseball stories top 
the headlines.  Big guns THUNDER O.S.  Above the bunk on the wall are 
pin-up mementos and pictures:  One photo is of high school-age baseball 
players. Faces of hardened yet hopeful youths. On the back row, one 
PLAYER stands out.  Tall.  Hollywood good looks.    

The caption: "Arkansas Semi-pro Runner-up, 1938."  The quarters shudder 
as a SEA BATTLE RAGES O.S.  Another picture:  Cocky young baseball players 
in orange uniforms, trimmed in green.  The same Player grins back.    
The caption:  "Miami Beach Flamingos, 1941."  

Opposite the picture is an article from The Miami Herald:  "Gene 'Lefty' 
Bearden is Florida East Coast League MVP"  Anxious SHOUTS mix O.S. with 
the sound of HEAVY-FOOTED RUNNING near the quarters.  RAPID FIRE ARTILLERY.  
Above the bunk, a glossy pin-up of a Beautiful Brunette in a flattering 
dance outfit.   An EXPLOSION rocks the ship.  The lights flicker.  Another 
POWERFUL BLAST.  More SHOUTS.  The lights go out.    

INT. USS HELENA - #2 ENGINE ROOM - NIGHT  The red glow of battle lights 
bathes the faces of the grim, anxious sailors busy at their posts.  The 
terror of combat.  Water streams past the feet of the crew.

Hmm, not as much of a formatting improvement as I'd hoped for, Michael. I tried...

Yes, that's one way to get your work on "the big screen." Ha ha. Frederick, chalk this up to an experiment that failed, I guess. Zap the page, it'll probably be too hard to actually fix it now.

I've posted excerpts from .txt export files from Scriptware and Movie Magic Screenwriter to web pages before, and all the formatting went across intact. My first surprise here was that the character name indents were lost on what I posted.

It would have been nice if we could have done this, though, and discussed each others' opener pages. Maybe one day some rules can be posted to allow for something like that to be done.

Not real encouraging, is it? One thing you can do, though, is not hide your light under a bushel. If anyone, particularly some working professional like a doctor or lawyer, asks what you do, and if it's a fact that you write regularly, tell 'em "I'm a such and such for so and so and when I get home I write screenplays." It's a fact that you just might be talking to the relative of a studio exec who just might give you an introduction. Don't think that, at least, can't happen; it can, and sometimes it does.

Jean, didn't you get an agent a while back? Some queries ought to be reaching some family movie producers. The standard line at the studios and established prodcos is that they'll only deal with writers who have an agent or entertainment attorney who already works with someone in the company. At least that's the one they use on me when I call. Could this be packaged through a smaller prodco some way? We're out here wanting to think it's possible to sell a script, Jean. C'mon, show us the way! ;-)

I like your suggestions, Janet. Yes, I was trying to see if we think we're really writing page turners, beginning with the dreaded (by writers and readers alike) first page. Why don't we do what they do out in the "real world" and set a deadline? If Frederick does NOT yank the page, (and it's totally up to him, since we maniacs have knocked it out of shape), then let's let the submissions period run through Friday and then we'll vote over the weekend, explaining the reasons why we're voting for some page other than our own as the favorite.

Heck, feel free to also say why you don't like some page, if you really want to. We're all writers here. We're all used to drying our tears -- or else we better get used to it.

And, as for YOU, Paula, I'll have you know I'm a completely agnostic pig who's already fed ALL their children to the alligators. Don't misunderestimate me.

Heck, I've lost my way in linear screenplays from time to time. I started outlining in part to keep me from getting lost. You know, plan your work, then work your plan. That might even be twice as valuable when you're working in "non-linear" time.

Check out the diagrams in Victoria Schmidt's book, "Story Structure Architect" some time. And Linda Aronson's "Screenwriting Updated."

Yes, it is, once you're learned to write in a way that takes their point of view into account. It takes both aspects, referrals and kick-ass screenwriting. I personally regret the corporate consolidation of everything, but from the vantage point of owners and managers, they have to compete against ever-more forms of media vying to capture people's attention, and somehow CUT THROUGH to draw an audience out of the miasma. If there were once a million aspiring screenwriters in America, now there are fifty million or more, possibly. If I were on the inside of the fortress, I'd want strong fortifications, too. As for pitching? Use the cell phone and keep a list. Rejection comes cheaper that way.

Yes, Jeff Kitchen calls that "reverse cause and effect" in his book, "Writing a Great Movie," another resource I recommend highly.

Thanks for posting this information. It should be reflected on the report card page.

Wow, thanks, gals n' guys, it seems I read it here first! I keep tinkering with "Eclipse," too, while continuing to work on several other scripts in progress. I just got Barb Doyon's feedback from on it this past week. She had a couple of sensible suggestions for me, so, hopefully, the slight rewrite I just did (not the draft Movie Script contest has) might do better still in days to come.

Okay, we're evidently the only writers here with a first page. (Heh heh.) I'm gonna say Joseph Kenny's "Raven Mockers" page one intrigued me the most. The mood it sets is so ominous it twisted me into knots and then, at the bottom of the page, I found I HAD to know what the hell "the raven mockers" are going to turn out to be.

Subjectively, I may have been influenced by other factors in the content as well, such as allusions to native medicine traditions. I live near the Great Smoky Mountains and just a week ago, I spent a couple of hours in the foothills with an "old medicine man," interviewing him for a screenplay adapatation of his life story he's given me permission to write.

I'm learning the lessons of setting tone immediately, it's one of the most frequent refrains I'm hearing in critiques of my work. I think this page one does that and delivers a hell of a hook in the last line.

Sorry to hear it, Martin. There's still the Script Savvy annual run-off, though, eh? I find with "Eclipse," it's met either with love or with total indifference. I get completely opposite impressions of the characters, too; they're either dull, or engrossing, cold, or highly sympathetic. It's an amazing thing to see how the same set of words draws such differing responses from different readers.

Points well taken, Lou. You're entitled.

T'anks!!!

Seems like a good opener for a comedic dance musical to me, though I would slightly rewrite some of the phrasing, as I find it confusing or distracting enough to stop the reader's flow.

1st paragraph rewrite:

LENT HAYES JR., mid-20s, a modern day "John Wayne" type in his youth, rides a tractor over plush green hills. A partially burnt down red barn and a old, bubble-shaped trailer embroider his squalid field.

Rewrite of paragraph four (I'm having to guess who "Danley" is, and I may be wrong...)

The BRIDAL PARTY, in their reflection from a row of mirrors on wheels, imitate exotic dancers. Poorly. JESSE, THE BRIDE, silently pleads with her Caribbean-looking, incredibly gorgeous maid of honor, DANLEY, who shrugs in a gesture of surrender.

Rewrite of paragraph six:

Suddenly a precocious FLOWER GIRL shoves up from behind the ushers and hands them two different colored cards.

Make sure you're not placing an apostrophe in the word "hers," like so:

TRAVIS So, who's g-g-got hers?

Janet, you've got your page one nearly perfect now, in my view. I didn't know you were new to this; let me just say that you need to indicate these characters' ages when you write them. You don't have to say they're "27" or "53," unless there's some reason their exact age is important to the plot, but give an approximate age for each character you introduce, for the sake of the casting director, okay, as in "late 20s," "early 50s." I think what you've written here is very visual, with rolling hills, a Dutch blue house (that's a very specific blue; similarly, I have a "Maya blue" character in a script because that's a specific blue that can be looked up on a chart, that's "right" for what I want to portray), Stetsons, mirrors,and so on. I can see the light in the whole scene, so you're showing a very important strength in your work. Keep it up.

Timothy, yours also looks like a fine job to me. The dialogue had me chuckling, especially the clergyman who "laid with his neighbor's wife -- AND his neighbor." I also recognized at least one example that happened in real life, namely, Oral Roberts' exhortation to raise ten million dollars or he was going to kick the bucket (in other words). (Were all these real examples of these people's blarney?) The religious radio signals and outer space topics make an intriguing combination, and I definitely want to know what everyone's looking up at... so, yes, I, for one, would definitely be flipping over to page two!

Oh, yeah, Tim, I meant to include a couple of notes from my English teacher personality. "Reverend" is the correct spelling ('end' at the end, not 'and'). And the possessive form of "it," believe it or not, has no apostrophe, because when you use an apostrophe on that particular word, it forms a contraction meaning either "it is" or "it has," depending on the context in which it is used.

I am familiar with those experiences described here, but I did find a way to minimize them. After writing a couple of scripts, years ago, I sacrificed six years of my life to watch the moves of the Bush Administration as closely as possible. When I saw the tide was not going to be turned back by the rest of government who could and should have, but the public had at least snapped out of their propagandized spell after enough disasters, I returned to screenwriting. This time, I determined to be better than I had been before; after all, ten percent of my life was gone now, with nothing to show for it but a developing police state. I continued my reading of books on the subject - the craft books, structure, dialogue, psychology, character and plot types, connections with myths, occupations, genres, and the business, until I had read -- I just counted 'em on the shelves -- 62 books. Then, I sifted back through many of the books, and a couple of pieces of software I had bought, as well, writing down the most salient points in concise, digest form, one after the other, categorizing the information and adding to each category the pithiest observations, book by book. Finally, about a year and a half ago now, I started writing spec scripts again. I now keep the most awesome of the books from the perspective of my level of development, about fifteen of them, within arm's reach of my PC. I also have an outline document in which I plan each script in four major parts, and supply the key ingredients before I ever start writing in script format. I prepare a treatment now, and, I swear, I'm going to get to the point where I finally have enough patience to do a full step outline before I commit to writing. I estimate that bout six weeks to plan the story and two-four weeks to actually write it, will probably work out just about right. Hopefully, I'll work it down to less time than that, especially if I ever get to quit my regular job, and can put more into this. It's still taking me several months to work one out, start to finish, ane then I have to refine it some when I get feedback from people I know at least basically "get it." But all this painstaking approach has actually cut down on my pain. I also work over everything that's gone before, or at read it all and then at least lightly rework at least the previous few pages, each time I set down to write. So my first draft involves a lot of revision work already. I see the aim of the "vomit your first draft" approach, but I like this way better. I aim for three new pages each session, and sometimes I get ten, or even fifteen, when I'm hot.

Thomas, no, I don't get exhausted at all. The only drudgery is in rewriting all those books, and even that's kind of interesting, because I can feel my mind synthesizing and internalizing all the information from my past efforts to exercise their advice, as I filter it through my own fingertips into the word processor software. Eventually, I'll have searchable text for anything I need to consult on, and I'll be able to get rid of most of those books without losing the wisdom they contain. I've seen you disdain books in other posts; obviously, I don't feel that way. I know they've helped me become much better than I was a few years back.

When it comes to the writing itself, having progressed from, at the outset, writing a scene, then going, "okay, what next?" and eventually writing another scene, constantly second-guessing myself, to "working my plan," writing's become much less of a drudgery and more of a joy. I second-guess myself less, correct myself with more confidence, and, when I find I've missed my marks on the turning points, I can easily throw out three dozen pages of stuff I really like without regrets, and have them replaced with something better within about three days.

Nowadays, though I give each script and each character all I can bring from my mind and my arsenal of advice, I invest no big significance in any one script; I'll jot down notes for plots to other scripts as I finish my day's effort on my current work.

I now look forward to the chance to sit down and write. The more I've approached it this way, the more it's gradually become one of the most exciting things in my life. (Although I can imagine that thrill being ruined if I were to ever actually achieve my goal, and become a working screenwriter in Hollywood.)

Which brings us to the "ironic" part; well, I've been more active at trying to make the system work than most people I've ever known personally. But, I was born with artistic impulses that don't go away, and if I'm going to satisfy those urges, they demand a lot of my spare time, too.

I also found, through activism following the scholarship, that people, for the most part, have very little idea how we're actually ruled, or even how we were supposed to be ruled under the Constitution. Most are also resistant to learning, especially by delving into the evidence and the history themselves.

[For those who aren't:

http://www.filmsforaction.org/ ]

We've wishfully thought ourselves into serfdom in this country, and now that that's definitively the case, I've realized everything I can bring to the fray is too little to help what was America.

I can still get a sense of accomplishment from artistic achievements, even if they never make me a dime, so I'm back to pursuing a creative craft.

Walter has some fine advice there.

I believe, with some experience to bear this out, that as spec script writers, we are stuck with writing in one well-defined genre. My personal conviction is that genre-bending is the salvation of movies at this point, and I've been trying to do that to a point which I thought was "safe," but I can see from the feedback that I get that it is not. It is as Walter has said. You might as well realize you are going to be dealing with people who are, in essence, "programmed" to suss out the signs of which genre you are writing in and they don't forgive much crossing of the line. My readers and enjoying my stories at a personal level, and complimenting me, but they're not recommending them largely because of genre and tone. You can't take chances unless you can make your own films. Then, if you want to be the Coen Brothers, then be the Coen Brothers.

That said, if I were you and still as stubborn as I know I am, I'd write it both ways, attend a pitchfest after I'd refined them both, and pitch the straight thriller. If the producer or agent asks for a copy, I'd hand it to them and say, "And then, in this one, I REALLY had fun, and it's not only X, but I did Y with it and it's won..." A producer will know if s/he may want it, and an agent may know what several producers are looking for. Who knows, it may tickle just the right funny bone that way.

I think Blake Snyder's most valuable contribution from "Save the Cat" is the writer-friendly genre list with definitions. And a good book on genre-bending is "Alternative Scriptwriting" by Dancyger & Rush. (There I go with the books again, eh?) Snyder's going all-out out for blockbusters; the other authors examine a list of obscure films. What are you aiming for?

I'm not out to be a "primitive" writer. I already made that mistake with other forms of artistic expression, in my youth.

Hollywood wants something well-known, with a proven success record, presented with a fresh and surprising twist. Not knowing your genre is almost like showing up as a competitor at a sports competition without knowing if you're going to compete in the hundred yard dash, or the hundred meter swim.

Lisa, for the record, my screenwriting's not like some of my posts on this board, I promise.

That's perfect, Terry.

I just discovered this thread, and my teeth are grinding that they are exploiting aspiring writers in yet another way, making them pay to pitch. What do you get out of this? A grade? Please keep us posted on how this goes, since you've made the commitment.

Why not read Michael Hague's "Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds," practice (in front of the mirror and on people) until you know you're good, then go to the Screenwriters Expo or Great American Pitchfest, or even Carlos de Abreu's Hollywood Film Festival, and pitch to multiple parties? Even though the events will cost more to attend on the whole, the pitching has to be more economical than this Final Draft thingie.

BTW, no one should try switching from Final Draft to Dramatica. Dramatica is not script formatting software. It's a fancy mind game for writers with a lot of time on their hands.

If you're a Final Draft user looking to "pitch" the software over this pay-to-pitch scheme, try "Celtx." It formats more than just screenplays, it's free, and it comes in a variety of flavors for different operating systems (and languages)!

http://celtx.com/

Jack Richards- very grisly scene, in a rural situation of extreme poverty. One can't call it "attractive" by normal terms. You're playing for curiosity, I presume. Who's this maniac who's done something far worse than stretch a web page out of shape? You have a woman, freshly dead, in bed, dragged by a madman from a dark cabin with a canvas flap for a door, where he carves her up. He drags away her severed leg, carrying her liver and intestines with him through the snow by page end.

Let's focus on the technical a bit: You need FADE IN: at the beginning, it's de rigeur for the form. We don't see your line breaks here, but you need an EXT. scene description to start, and another where you have OUTSIDE in caps.

You provide us with one clue to the woman and the apparent madman having had some relationship prior to this. That is provided by a superimposed legend. "SUPER: ''never take no cutofs and hury along as fast as you can.'' ... letter from Virginia Reed" We assume the spelling is Virginia Reed's. It seems as if she wanted this man to hurry along to her cabin. Now, she's dead and he's cutting up her body. We assume he's actually killed her first, because when she's first seen, "Her mouth slowly opens and her head rolls weakly from side to side. " So, it appears she clings to life, if only faintly. No description of her reacting to pain is written for her as he drags her outside and carves her up, so she seems already dead by then. Blood pools in the snow as he works, so she must be freshly dead.

So my guess is that you're banking on the reader wondering such things as, who is this guy, and what was his relationship to this woman? Did she romance a serial killer? What actually killed this woman with the "grizzled body?" We don't know anything substantial about the relationship between these characters. We're guessing the dead woman is Virginia Reed. I guess knowing the title and logline might help me personally to know whether I wanted to go on reading past page one or not, since I'm turned off by a lot of gore, and here you have that right on page one. "Silence of the Lambs" is a great movie, but it developed into the scary parts. To me, having horror that's plausible in the real world is far more terrifying than a creature feature. I was also content to see it only once because of the graphic content.

You may have a very intriguing story to come, but one needs some motive to continue past the turn-off of the grisly content. Is someone gonna stop this guy?

Please don't chop me up for asking!

Mark Familton - Tone, genre, and setting are established in the first few lines. It's science fiction, involving a scientific find on Mars. One would assume it's a scientific expedition that's underway. As we see by the last panel, it may have something to do with curing cancer. The implications and value of that find are huge. So, we know what's going to be fought over, the black stuff on the red rock.

This is all exposition. I'll bet we meet Siang's "audience," his ship mates, on page two. I held off commenting for a while because I'm one of those you've shared your earlier drafts with, and I know you've traded a gripping and cryptic action opener for this one. That was a visceral first page. This is a purely cerebral first page. It does start and end right, for what it is, and gives us valuable information, introducing the stakes. I don't think it's as strong an opener, though, as you had in your "un-tutored" days. If Siang is going to meet the same fate as before, to me, your instincts were right before. I think I'd take it back out into the sandstorm to hook in the audience and introduce the protagonist, which isn't Siang. The stuff you have here would appear on tape when your character S--mann launches his inquest.

I meant to say something to Michael Murphy, too.

I'd suggest you bring your protagonist in to the page. What action is he taking in the melee? It doesn't have to be a lot, just let us know who he is and what he's trying to do amidst the chaos.

You have lots of big battle stuff etched onto your page. It's well done, but we don't know who's going to play a role in bringing us personally into the story.

I had Barb Doyon critique the script whose first page I posted here. I changed the page one I posted here for the purpose of doing just that. We met the antagonist in the former first scene, and that would have been fine, except that it introduced a misleading impression of the genre, which the one-paragraph appearance of my hero character embodied right away.

You seem to be writing a war picture, so genre ought to be clear enough from your page. We're landed smack-dab in the middle of a huge naval conflict, but who are we going to care about, and what action is he taking? Is he struggling to load a cannon and take down a plane? Is he walking nonchalantly along the poop deck, unafraid of death, perhaps inviting it? I'd want to turn to page two if I caught a hint of that on page one. I'd feel more connection and, quite possibly, more curiosity.

My new page one:

EXT. ROADSIDE -- EVENING

A military cargo van slows for a curve. The back door swings open. A lithe figure, WILL MONDAY, 19, in military undershirt and khakis, leaps out, rolls into the grassy roadside. His skin is a Maya blue, and his hair, red, but at this point, he is little more than a silhouette against the twilight.

He rises and checks himself out. Unharmed, he makes for the cover of roadside woods.

EXT. STATE PRISON - DAY

LEGEND: "STATE PRISON, BOISE, IDAHO"

The historic, nigh Medieval, Idaho State Pen, near Boise. Late afternoon light casts a golden patina over the grim concrete fortress.

INT. DR. PAM TRAVERS' OFFICE -DAY

At her desk, PAM TRAVERS, late 20s, prim, professional, before a replica of Antonella Da Messina's painting, "The Martyrdom of St. Sebastian" and a placard, "Home, Sweet Prison."

Opposite her, in a chair, sits a gangly convict, WEASEL. On the desk between them, a running micro tape recorder and a photo of Pam nuzzling a black cat.

Weasel, smoking a cigarette, is literally in a trance. He takes a puff and blows smoke toward Pam. Suction from a ceiling vent fan wafts the smoke upward and away.

Janet, to reply to your points, I just had two analysts to review my script and they didn't ring any "done to death" bells over my escapee bit. Maybe it has "been done to death," I honestly don't know. It didn't seem to stick out for them. Maybe I should watch more TV. I admit I wasn't reaching for a lot of originality right there, so much as I was trying to quickly set two characters on a collision course. The van is hauling documents taken by the Joint Chiefs from an undisclosed location, as they say, and my escapee has stowed away in one of the lockers they're having hauled off in this van. His leap from the van was a page two item, but I moved it right up front to establish a certain amount of detail that makes for a bit of a mysterious opening, but one that establishes this is not primarily a political thriller, as my original page one would indicate, but rather a sci-fi based, action-adventure story.

You have no way of knowing this yet from the page one, but the escapee won't get lost in the woods, even though it's getting dark. He just doesn't want to be seen. But, as emerges in the story, he's not ordinary and he can see about six times better in the dark than we can. So, he'll make it to the fight scenes.

The prison location had no other name that I could find in my internet research. It was just the "Idaho Penitentiary," now called "the Old Idaho Penitentiary," a territorial prison built east of Boise in 1870, and closed in 1973. Today it's open only for tours as a historic place. Even though there is a NEW "Idaho Penitentiary," I chose this "historic" one for two reasons; first, because I only need a couple of exterior shots. The one interior room I used was the office in the page one scene, so practically any dingy old room with a mirror could be used to film the one scene involved. The second reason is that I wanted a place that visually reflects harsh, outsized punitive thinking, a la Medieval tortures or debtors' prisons. Soon, in the script, some dialogue reveals a true detail about Idaho that I discovered in my research, that is reflective of the mindset of the place; namely, bouncing a $20.00 check in Idaho is actually a felony offense that carries a sentence of five years in prison. (!) I found newspaper editorials on line that condemned the increasing harshness of this "red state's" laws, which have been crimping the state's budget in favor of prison spending increases and school spending cuts. That's where my effort at realism ended and sheer plotting began, for better or worse.

In my story, conditions have crowded the prison so much that the warden has hired this young woman with an unconventional approach to reform, to put it mildly; in fact, so desperate is the warden to free up space that they are resorting to illegal brainwashing techniques to remake inmates' memories and take away their incentives to commit certain crimes, so they can make parole and get out. This was, of course, never meant to represent a typical situation from the prisons of America, but rather an unusual one, mainly in service of helping to set up characters with certain traits and skills to collide in a science-fictional adventure story which immediately leaves this prison itself, but never leaves the theme of imprisonment vs. freedom as the story moves on to other settings.

I'm not mad, I asked for feedback. I consider all this good food for thought. Beginning and ending a screenplay are two of the hardest parts to get right. It is important that we do all we can to make them the best we can.

Well, nothing about going to prison is very appealing, particularly since they don't have attractive young female counselors after all. That alone would ruin the whole experience for me!

As for corruption, I expect it to be the rule, actually, and I'm delighted when it's the exception. One might conclude, for instance, that all banks are corrupt, given the derivatives- induced financial crisis permitted by deregulation. Yet, I work for a subsidiary of a big one that isn't much invested in that funny business, and in fact is working on refinancing mortgages for those affected by the bidding up of their mortgage payments by derivatives packaging and resells. There's some good left in the world, even now, even it it's hard to see oftentimes. Maybe, at least in some fictional universe, there could be a warden who would break the rules in trying to do somebody some good. If that idea seems beyond the pale, then, hey, just don't option my screenplay.

Thanks for the ScriptMentors reference, I'll look 'em up for possible future reference.

The world is a prison, Janet. All of society is carceral. Careerism is the death of justice. Beware the prosecutor looking for the next notch on his career. Beware the judge looking to sell you out for a trivial offering from the other side. Beware any who would feel the need to throw their weight around in the whole system of control. Anyone who would seek the power of the presidency should be expressly forbidden from having it. I know what you're talking about. My story doesn't dwell on the one prison; that just provides a co-protagonist, with certain control issues and certain motives, then moves on to the "world as a prison" theme, the world where we have to pardon others and ourselves to become free. The mad world we live in, more or less.

Jack, these things happen all the time. I can sympathize. A month after I finished my previous script, "Eclipse," which has done pretty well in some contests, I learned, through a Border's email ad, about Stephanie Meyer's "Eclipse," one novel in a series, which is now slated to be made into a film. Just work out a system for completing a first draft in about three months or so, and keep moving. I remember now you had mentioned you were working on a script about the Donner Party. Whew, what a topic. I gather the letter you quoted from was an actual historical artifact, then.

Not necessarily a bad idea. I know I can't think of a better title on my own. Not only does my character in "Eclipse" have to head off a ceremony at the total eclipse of the moon, along the way to that, he has to figure out which side of his conflicting desires is going to eclipse the other. Not to worry, none of the few producers who solicited it to read offered me an option, though a couple offered some pats on the back.

I didn't know that, Patrick, so scratch one from that list I offered up. That's why we come to Moviebytes, some of us, anyway. What's their fee per pitch?

Will the Wall Street Crisis Hammer Hollywood?

Listen to interview at:

http://www.kcrw.com/etc/programs/tb/tb080929will_the_wall_street

Janet, since it takes more than a year and a half to make a movie from deal to release, in all likelihood, Stephanie Meyer's "Eclipse" story will have been made and swept away in the streams of time before mine will have any chance. Anyway, you can't copyright a title, so my own chosen "Eclipse" will do fine -- unless it's actually bought in the near future, and I'm forced to change it, which is so unlikely. But if I do get lucky and make a sale of it, I, or rather the new owners of the script, may get to keep the title anyway, because when separated by a few years, many different movies have the same titles.

Jack, I don't know why you had a "three-part" screenplay, was that for three features? TV mini-series plan? You know Jack London is most remembered for "Call of the Wild" and "White Fang." But I don't see a "Jack London" titled MOVIE listed on the IMDB since 1943. Jack London was a visionary humanist, practically a man out of his time and his country, and the times might be ripe for revisiting his views. It's been a decade since Victor Hugo's "Les Miserables" last appeared as a movie. How about Jack London's "People of the Abyss" now?

This could be done as one epic movie. "There Will Be Blood" meets "Reds." Jack London's life would make a great movie and a new generation would hear of him for the first time, probably. Yesterday showed us the difference between the improbable and the impossible.

The "worlds existing at different vibratory rates" was used in comic books in the early 1960s and since, and I'm sure it came from earlier science fiction. One day, given the current experimentations in subatomic physics, it may be proven beyond doubt. Al Gore may turn out to be the Earth's version of Jor-El, too.

Tim, my impulse is to avoid having a phantom of the mind appear in a scene without his imaginer. I don't think it was done in "The Sixth Sense" (IMO the only kinda- orthwhile movie ever made by M. Night Shyamalan) or in "A Beautiful Mind," and for all the right reasons. Another flick I cite from time to time in these esoteric discussions is "Jacob's Ladder," and there, too, Jacob is, of course, present in all the phantasmagoric scenes. After all, what's happening is happening TO HIM. In "Fight Club," this law was messed with a bit, I thought. Anything shown to be done by Brad Pitt's character was in the presence of, or in the field of awareness of, Edward Norton's character. But the latter character eventually realizes people are attributing actions to him that he doesn't remember, and he gradually, belatedly figures out he's lived a double life without being conscious of part of his dual persona's behavior, which he then has to scramble to try to undo.

So it does beg the question, what's your motivation to have the phantom character at all? If the character's a manifestation of someone else's fear or desire only, I'd call it bad form to have him appear without that "real person" character in the scene. Yet, I love what was done with "Fight Club." Of course, that's not something you want to copy, either. It's so original it can only be done once in a generation.

Casablanca L.A. Confidential The Usual Suspects Fight Club The Matrix

Pulp Fiction

Goodfellas The Godfather A Clockwork Orange Raiders of the Lost Ark Romancing the Stone

Patrick Sweeney, nice first page for a Western, and you're obviously not having trouble immediately nailing genre, like I am. I suspect you need a big hook to sell a Western, and I assume that is tied in with your title. I see one unusual thing on here, an outlaw's horse getting shot in the first minute so he can't escape town. So this is a prologue. I would read more to try to see what you're aiming for; what are you going to do with a Western that's fresh?

I'm impressed with these page ones. I see a lot of brisk paced description, ominous narrative, strong visuals, chipper and concise dialogue, and even a very strong hook here or there, wow. It's great when you can actually get that onto your very first page. Good food for thought in all of these. Thanks to everyone who's put a page out there.

Patrick, how about a rain check, and we can do a complete script swap when you're done. I do give notes when I read someone else's scripts, so it's at least potentially worth your while, depending on what you think of the notes.

Scripts that shine vs. scripts that are run-of-the-mill often hinge on the lead character facing not just a problem. Every lead is presumed to face some kind of a problem. But the whole script is elevated when the character faces not merely a problem, but a genuine dilemma. A dilemma, unlike solving a problem, is not about how to get a bad situation to resolve into a good situation. It is not a strategy, or a tactic. It is the trap of being forced to choose between the only available alternatives when they are two equally painful, equally unacceptable choices.

A classic book and screenplay predicated entirely on dilemma is "Sophie's Choice." Sophie's Nazi captor tells her to choose one of her children for instant extermination, with the Nazi's "promise" (or is it just more sadism manifesting itself, is he just toying with her?) that she can "keep" the other one. If she refuses to make a choice, she has to watch as both children are murdered immediately.

That's about as heavy as it can get, isn't it?

Does your protagonist face some kind of dilemma? Why, or why not?

This is a tough subject. Got a dilemma going on? Let's air it out, screenwriters.

Thomas, yes, use "Pulp Fiction," definitely, and/or "Crash." Make your students get a copy of Victoria Schmidt's "Story Structure Architect."

Use any of M. Night Shyamalan scripts after "The Sixth Sense" as examples of how NOT to write a good screenplay.

I would point out that "Good Will Hunting," just because it's a coming of age story about giving your life direction, is rather relatable for many young people, but it actually has a pretty weak and slightly incredible (not in the good sense) resolution. Linda Segar nails the problem with that movie's ending in her book, "Advanced Screenwriting."

Screenwriter message boards actually have their own, identifiable genre. Sooner or later, it always turns out that they're Westerns. Guys are sitting around in the saloon, having a drink, playing some cards and having a little gossip, when some tough guy walztes in the door with a chip on his shoulder and shoots the ash off someone's cigar.

The second one's much better. The main thing I don't like is your logline saying, in essence, that we won't be able to comprehend the ending. That would narrow your audience; personally, I would avoid seeing it because of that alone. Is there some other way to describe the climax that won't give away too much of the plot?

"When three people cross paths, they realize a brutal murder from a generation ago connects their lives in a way they never could have imagined."

Gene and Paul Langlais, congrats on having not one, but two scripts make this cut. I entered two myself, and evidently, only one made it this far. So I'm half-glad, half- disappointed. Recognize any other Moviebyters' names on the list? I'm not spotting any others I know from these boards.

http://www.fadeinonline.com/Contests/Screen_Fict_quarters.html

That does seem really strange.I know the letter took me totally by surprise, because it was so quick. According to my notes, I entered on Oct. 31, which was the deadline, until, suddenly, it wasn't. I remarked to my wife that they must have had a slew of readers to work so fast, because their letter said they had whittled 1865 entries down to 571 already. I wonder if this indicates a lack of coordination? I recently saw that with another contest which advertised a Nov. 15 deadline, then the entry form said entry must be postmarked Nov. 30.

Thanks, Geoff. When I threaded back through timelines and entries, I realized I had only one script ready to enter into this one by the deadline. So I guess I'm "all" glad, after all. Even though I've started getting confused...

The verification police were at the donut shoppe?

Nobody writing dilemmas for their characters?

I wanted to give the sci-fi hero of "Blue Monday" a true "existential" dilemma, so I had his skin blue as an unexpected by-product of the gene splicing salad that makes up his DNA. (I had this partially written in 1995 when suddenly, "Powder" came out...!!!... but I finished anyway, and I recently decided to rewrite it, since more than a decade has passed.)

His turning out to be a "blue baby," so to speak, forces his human creators to secret him away for life for testing, to see how well he and his designer DNA otherwise met their intended goals. Of course, the story begins with his escape, aided by rogue insiders, into the social world we know, at age 19. Now, what can he do? He really wants to find love for himself, but he's being hunted and has to try to blend in, though, of course, the minute he gets truly intimate with anyone, his true nature will be exposed. What to do?

That's surely not a match for "Sophie's Choice" in the terrible dilemma department, but I do see it as a dilemma. Anyone else here trying to work with dilemma as a means to create a compelling story?

They do make sense in a shooting script, because it's like a work order for the whole crew. I allow the "more's" and "cont'ds" when a speech or action is being broken, and, of course, I try to minimize those occurences.

That's quite true, and neither have Movie Magic Screenwriter's default setters, those lousy Medievalist software programmers.

Trouble is, Thomas, screenwriting is not a "natural" storytelling form. I consider little reworkings such as eliminating broken actions or speeches good practice in flexibility, if only limited compared to what I might face in a real-world situation. Let's pretend I'm finally hired to write for an actual film. If I'm retained during production (which sometimes happens), any kind of sudden rewrite demands could confront me. For instance, the best location found for a certain action may not have a feature that's written in the script -- there's no gargoyle for the hero to grab onto to, or whatever. We've shown up to film, when suddenly, somebody, leafing through the script, notices this. It's rewrite time, and whatever's substituted may have to fit nearly the same time frame, because there is a budget and we can't overrun what's to be shot at this building, in cost terms of, perhaps, &75,000 per movie minute. This is one of the differences between prose writing, as in a novel, and screenwriting; working screenwriters have to be ready to quickly adapt to all kinds of demands, coming from stars, directors, producers, or God knows where. Am I up to that? I don't know, but pay me well enough and I'll try my best.

I used to correspond with a guy named John McFetridge in Canada who had done a lot of crew work in Toronto. He and a partner named Scott Albert decided to use their experiences in writing a pretty amusing novel, "Below the Line." It gives a pretty vivid feel for what working in the movies is really like. There have been some occasional articles in magazines and online in which writers discussed the "breaking situations" requiring fast rewrites that they've encountered, too.

"It's a Wonderful Life"

I knew this article was out there, so I Googled "the new spec script style" and read over Dave Trottier's article.

http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=2

So, is this the new new stuff, or is this the old new stuff? Is Dave Trottier really "Dave Passe" now? Is having a "(CONTINUED)" in your script a deal killer in today's Tinseltown?

Can't say. Did they steal your story? That would take some investigating. It would have to be ruled "substantially similar" and its creation following later in time by a judge, and you'd probably have to prove the people had access to your material (which is why inktip.com provides a listing of who's viewed your listed logline and screenplay).

As nearly as I can tell, the whole reason for publicizing high dollar script sales and staging a bunch of contests is to suck up dollars and ideas from the yearning masses. (That's us, folks.) It takes about a million scripts to produce one good idea, in Hollywood terms, that a "wheel" in the business can hire one of his buddies to write their way. America probably provides that million every year; hell, maybe every six months.

Are you familiar with the "Coming to America" Art Buchwald treatment story? Have you got $2.5 million or more to fight a studio in court (in 1988 dollars -- that's probably $5 Mil. now)? If not, your legal protection is really a fiction. With liberty and justice for sale. You know how it is with the legal system, Janet.

Same goes for all of us.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E0CE2D8103DF934A25750C0A964958260

But if you don't expose your material, it can't be bought by the scrupulous, either.

[As an aside, I love some of John Landis's movies, but, heavens to Betsy, his credits include this big rip-off (knowingly or unknowingly?) and the freakin' decapitation of Vic Morrow.]

Paramount could pay out $900,000 and call it a victory. They work in an industry where some people get "pay or play" contracts. Didn't Tim Burton get about $15 Mil. about a decade ago NOT to make a Superman movie? (Contrary to rumor, I think that money came from Warner Brothers, not directly from comics fans who did NOT want to see Nicolas Cage in that particular role.)

Defending themselves against the rare, occasional rip-off victim who can actually afford to fight back for the sake of a mere moral victory, is just part of the cost of doing business for the big wheels.

So, in short, no, don't bother worrying, because if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. But if I were you and I were really concerned, I would try to find out just how similar the thing really is. On the flip side, if it's made and distributed and it strikes gold, you might get yours boosted right into a sale, "Passion of the Ark" - style.

For easier access:

http://tinyurl.com/6ryltn

Way to go, Greg, livin' the dream! Most of us are gonna have to produce our own movies. Good luck with it!

This topic keeps coming up, so I'll talk from my experience to the board.

Entertainment attorneys negotiate contract terms for a fee or for a percentage of what you get (don't let 'em take more than ten per cent). They understand copyright as a bundle of rights and should dialogue with you over the rights you're interested in retaining for yourself vs. what kind of rights in your material you wish to relinquish in sale or otherwise assign under contract. You or your agent must arrange a sale to bring to their table. If they pretend to do an agent's work, they're scamming you -- see posting above. Avoid any such offers and keep looking for someone legit who won't even pretend to act as an agent for you.



About as much as you can or I can. Some play poker with the high rollers, BUT -- they won't talk to you, except maybe threaten to sue you for bothering them. Others are just lawyers. They might talk to you; I'd guess there's a ten percent chance. Production companies, by far, tend to prefer hearing from you if you have an agent working with one of their producers already. A FEW will apply you the same courtesy if you have an entertainment attorney who already has a working relationship with one of their producers. VERY, VERY FEW, at least among the bigger companies, will let you submit work to their story departments based on your simply having an entertainment attorney contact, regardless of their length of experience in that field. High rollers may be an exception, but I wouldn't know.



http://www.findlaw.com/ http://www.marklitwak.com/

Here's an entertainment attorney who writes for writersstore.com. His contact info is in the article.

http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=171 = http://tinyurl.com/6sbjk7>/a>

Correction: http://tinyurl.com/6sbjk7

Yeah, ditto! 'Twas a hard-run race, me lads, congratulations!

Very good. Just include the main salient points as briefly (one sentence) as possible for a logline. How about:

When her best friend dies because of her powers, an orphaned mystic sets out on an epic quest to bring him back to life.

Tim, do a spell check -

darts threw the clouds - threw = "through" lightening = "lightning" poultry = "paltry" hundreed = "hundred"

This page is demolished. I have to copy the messages out of here and paste them into Notepad to read them. Anyway, if anyone wants to vote (or post), go ahead. All I really wanted out of it was some comment and discussion about which pages people responded to and why they wanted to read on. I'm glad some of the writers here chipped in. I hope we'll get to try this again sometime, with the technique worked out, maybe going a little further, like three pages. Some of these stories we can tell what's about to happen better than others, and some make us want to turn the page more than others. "The Raven Mockers" did that for me, and I know it's partly subjective, partly craft. The craft part, that's all we as writers can work on. I'm glad for the food for thought and I'd like to thank all those who contributed to the thread; you're all doing some interesting work, in my opinion. No wonder it's so hard to win a contest!

Yeah, I've seen it before, it was posted on the Tennessee Screenwriters' Association web site for years, along with a Story Premise Worksheet. Why?

I felt the same way when they remade "The Shining." And, they really thought it was necessary to remake the classic "Psycho?" Hell, I remember "Romancing the Stone" as if I saw it last week. So, one more reason not to like this trend is that it makes me feel old.

I've surveyed the landscape for a few years, albeit from afar, and I think Patrick's got it right. Strike a deal and an agent will appear, likely as not, though he or she may wish to simply "hip-pocket" you for one deal. Your odds of gaining lasting representation will rise if this happens and you have several outstanding scripts, though.

Yeah, tough call, and worth thinking about. Probably is a good idea to try to negotiate some input, especially if the pay is crap.

I don't think "credit" is going to be worth anything with the WGA unless the prodco is an affiliate; someone correct me if I'm wrong.

The closest I've come to turning down a "deal" is talking a producer out of reading a script of mine, which some here have heard of, "Eclipse." Because it deals with a priest becoming a werewolf, a producer of a whole series of Christian-themed movies of the "Left Behind" variety wanted to read it. The fellow was "the real deal," in that he not only regularly makes movies, but some big name actors do appear in them. I wouldn't sign his release form, and invited him to read the script on inktip anyway, as he evidently subscribed to their service. I'd have a record of his read, and he'd be under no obligations.

But, he stuck to his position, and I to mine, because I checked out his movies and this here script weren't one a' them. In the end, he thanked me for my being so honest about my script and my position regarding it, and I thanked him for the respect in return, too. But it would have been a mismatch and a waste of time, if not worse.

Looks good; I never heard of a "Gravewalker," so I'm rather curious as to what one is, and how do they get the chance to "play God?" So, I'd read page two.

After the midpoint, the inner need does become a conscious goal. But the intention behind this worksheet wasn't for plotting and pacing, it was for helping the writer find the theme of their piece, for the sake of a stronger story.

I suspect Paula's right, unless there's a reason we don't know yet for the (V.O.) treatment.

I'm picky about phraseology, myself. I'm sure my own isn't perfect, either, but I revisit and modify it often with each writing session, looking for phrasing that's more precise, concise, and concrete. I try to "visit" the scene in my mind and map it out, like stage blocking. Hence, if this were my page, on second pass, I'd try rewording this part of the page a little:

'She opens her eyes slowly -- satisfaction evident -- the undead horrors begin to shamble towards her.--

She opens her eyes, and a slow smirk spreads across her face. As if on cue, the undead horrors shamble toward her.

--In greeting, she opens her arms wide -- a huge billowing mass of mist spreads out, covering everything, then...

In greeting, she opens her arms wide. A mist billows up from the ground before her, rapidly shrouding the undead.

...the entire mass is sucked back in towards the epicenter with a loud rush of violet air and a faint "pop".'

The mist pulls back, vanishing back into the ground, leaving only the empty graveyard, strobe-lit by shafts of lightning from the stormy sky.

... Something like that. Obviously, it's not poetry, but it's done with an eye to getting the acting and staging specifics down for the actress and crew. That's my way, anyhow.

I like it. Use the voice-over if it has a dramatic payoff. My only quibble now is "SOLDIERS UNABLE TO FIGHT" in all caps. Caps are used on introducing characters with speaking parts or indicating effects. Maybe just "Soldiers" with a capital "S," if these are essentially "extras" you're describing here.

No, no, no, no, no.

Thomas, thanks for joining the thread. Nice page one. Obviously, there's a kidnap/ransom afoot and you've established that credibly on page one, with widely-relatable characters from the biggest movie-going demographic.

I think I can nit-pick it a little: 1st she *pull it closer. (pulls)

1st dialogue: Answer your phone*. (needs a period)

And one line stuck out for lack of screenplay-like brevity:

They are roommates and the decor and cleanliness of the apartment is that of two people who lack basic nesting skills.

How about, "They are roommates in the slovenly apartment."

Matt, radical revision. Not being too attached to what you've put down already is a positive trait for a screenwriter. I think it has a lot going for it (interaction). It sets up the story while leaving the details a mystery. It feels more "fantasy-horror" than before, we can already sense the "epic adventure" whereas in the other it leaned more toward a feeling of straight horror at the outset, I thought. There are a few words I'd toss: "all the indication we need to know that there will be hell to pay..." Maybe, "There will be hell to pay" alone is all right.

Sounds succinct and pretty good to me. We've had time travel love stories, but I'm not aware of that exact time travel plot already being used. I'm sure it taps a common middle-aged fantasy, so there's your marketability. Got a great title, too?

I was born with the Sun in impulsive Aries, the Moon in analytical Virgo, and proud Leo Rising on the horizon. My Expression number is One, making me independent and individualistic, my Life Path number is Three, characterized by the undying need for expression, and my Heart's Desire number is five - Freedom. And it so happens that those really are all accurate reflections of the strong currents that run through me, my life and my relationships, often for better, and sometimes for worse.

I've used "The Birthday Book" at times to start skecthing out some of my characters' traits. I start with a rough idea of what I want, and then read bits at random until something strikes me, perhaps some foible or paradox said to be intrinsic to those born on a particular day.

There are other approaches I also use to work up characters (I highly recommend "Psychology for Screenwriters" by William Indick), but I was wondering if this is very unusual, or not. Does anyone else here use an approach like this?

Yeah, naming is extremely important. It needs to have the right feel, the right "vibration" to resonate with that character's stance toward life. Another book on my shelf is "The Character Naming Sourcebook." That's where I came up with "Orlena Zoria" for "Eclipse," which you've read. Thanks for your response.

Thomas, figure out how the plot really breaks down, and nail down what is the central question of the script. How do we know the story's over at the end? It's when something is definitively resolved.

Your logline definitively addresses only two of the four parts to be mapped out in a movie script.

First, you identify the TYPE of PERSON:

When an aspiring mortician

...who GETS / DOES / TRIES:

discovers he can "paint" the dead back to life,

...ONLY to DISCOVER THAT (midpoint twist): he's thrown into a nightmare world of gentle zombies, ... a serial killer dubbed The Suicide Killer, ... and the decision whether to revive his own deceased mother, ... only to come face-to-face with his own demise.

and he must do WHAT... (to resolve the central question)?

Well, "what" he must do depends on what *is* the central question.

Does he have to escape the world of "gentle zombies?" Defeat The Suicide Killer? Revive his dead mother? Avoid his own demise?

Whichever one of these questions, being answered, tells us the story's over, is the one to focus on. When you figure that out, get the others out of the logline, because they are only complications that arise on the way to resolving the central question.

If you don't have a well-defined central question, you don't have a salable screenplay to devise a logline for.

I imagine if Microsoft had named "Microsoft Bob" "Quasimodo" in the mid-'90s, he might not have gained all that mass appeal... wait a minute.

Remember Linda Goodman? I think I recall her in one of her books, "Sun Signs," probably, pegging Scarlett O'Hara as an Aries, citing something about that "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again," vow. But that could easily be a Capricorn making that vow, for sure. (And making more certain to fulfill it.)

Jimmy Stewart's George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life" could have been an Aquarian, I'd say.

And Chevy Chase's "Fletch" could have been a Sagittarian, y'think?

Thomas, I do think that's quite a bit closer, but the last bit still doesnt' close the sale for me. What does it mean for this character to "begin a new life?" Since he's aspiring to be a mortician, does confronting his personal zombies (cute idea that his personal demons are zombies) help him fulfill his dream of working on cadavers? (This whole idea sounds kind of Tim Burton-ish.) If so, maybe he's not so much an "aspiring" mortician at the beginning (who's to stand in the way of such an ambition? Is there a surplus of applicants stepping all over each other for this particular job?) as a "bumbling" mortician? (Eeek.) I dunno, you do, but I think you can see what I'm driving at. I would think he either succeeds at becoming a mortician or becomes free of his morbid aspirations... he saves the day and "gets the girl" or something.

I will say it's easier to critique the log lines of others than to write a great one... carry on, brave souls... or zombies... whatever.

Okay, Thomas, so it's the "becomes free of his morbid" uh, preoccupations or something option, however you want to word that. I think that's all you need, an idea how it turns out for the protagonist. Sounds to me like you're on your way with that logline.

After all these years, "The Watchmen" is coming to theaters on March 6, and boy, it even looks like Zack Snyder and his cast and crew really got it right -- a super-tough job, and apparently, they did it. I've watched some trailers for this before and have been excited, but I just watched over two dozen trailers, behind the scenes "makings-of," and interviews with the cast members over at Rotten Tomatoes, and I'm tingling. I would hope that the great visionary writer Alan Moore finally feels a movie did one of his comic book masterpieces justice -- the one that stands at the pinnacle of his achievements, yet. This ain't exactly kid stuff. Can't wait to see it.

I'd heard something about Fox trying to put a spoke in the wheel, but that article explained it well. I'm sure Warners will go ahead with the movie, one way or another, even if they have to pay Fox to do it. They would expect, reasonably, to make money on "The Watchmen" for ten years or more. The way it looks to me, given all their chances to do something with the property (as I trust Warners' lawyers will proved), all Fox has really done so far is make sure it didn't get made. Now that it has been made, they want to see it either not get released, or take an effortless profit on its release by Warners. For my part, I hope Warners can get this out there without having to pay Fox anything.

That's great, Janet. Keeping fingers crossed for you to get some actual reads... for myself, too. I'm using a Barb Doyon logline for my latest and it hasn't pulled a single read all month.

I also meant to commend James Bennett on his great movie idea he posted here with his "Cover Band: Don't Stop Believin.'" Have you run that by Robert Kosberg, the "pitch king," nowadays working at Davis Entertainment? I'd think he'd run with that one in a New York minute. Good luck with it.

Hey, looks like a good place to meet some cool chicks... and, oh, look, there's Tim Landrum! Hey, Tim! Now put down the cool chick and back away, slowly...

The first Water sign to weigh in on the thread. The traits of the "elements" make a good tool for characterization, as well. A simple and rather literal use of this idea was in "The Fantastic Four" characters. Reed Richards, water, Susan Storm, air, Johnny Storm, fire, of course, and Ben Grimm, earth. Their characterizations were congruent with their physical powers.

Who is it who's jerking us around by posting things they don't even mean? I'd like to be able to ignore them.

There's a difference between panning for gold, though, and, um, bullsifting.

Of course. Great minds think alike, Tim!

Lately, I realized that I had succumbed to "contest fever" in the past year or so. Today, I put together a rough tally that's pretty close to the mark; it doesn't include postage, paper, and such, but it appears that, from Sept. '07 to now, I spent about $1,500 trying to promote a couple of scripts, mostly one, the other being finished only this fall. Was it worth it? Probably not. A fool and his money were soon parted. There's more than one way to look at it, and yet, it is probably best to set a budget and stick to it.

On the slight upside, I do have a half-dozen sets of notes, often contradictory to each other (your characters are very empathetic / your characters are unrelatable, etc.). I used the good & shared pointers to improve the scripts a bit. Only one person ever said my work needed a fundamental overhaul before his company would consider it. So these notes may have marginally improved my unsalable scripts. Whoopee.

And I got to see, first-hand, how readers are trained, and how thoroughly they're trained, what they look for, how they think. (Lesson learned: No more genre-bending spec scripts from out here in the cold for me.)

I also garnered a handful of positive comments about various aspects of my writing, which are nice for the ego, but can I trade them for a writing job, or for a sale? I don't see how, quite yet.

Are there lessons learned here? I chalk this up to an experience which will help me target a select few competitions in the future, and set a budget for this crazy crap. The rest of my focus will have to be on contacting my few contacts and locating hungry prodcos. Then I'll have to try to give them what they say they want (and then find out if they're lying or confused when they say they want certain types of material), not whatever I happen to be excited to write about. Well, I can't help it, it will have to be an idea that excites me, too, but from now on that's probably going to have to result from reaching for such "inspirations" as, "It's 'Dangerous Liaisons' Meets 'The X-Files!'"

On the other hand, I have noticed that some troopers among us are happily paying about $1,200 just for one learning course, for instance, Hal Croasum's Pro Series, and so on, and so forth. I swoon to think of it. Besides the high expense, I'm not convinced e-courses actually improve writers, at least not more than they could improve themselves, and NOTHING guarantees a script sale, anyway. Over the years, having shelled out several other thousand dollars along the way, I've acquired and read over five dozen screenwriting books, worked with about a dozen software packages, watched a dozen pros give advice on DVDS, and assembled a massive, searchable text of selected wisdoms and structure charts to serve as guides and reminders as I work. MUST I now take an expensive course like this, too? I think I'm finally learning to hold on to my wallet; there is some limit to my insanity, yay. After all, if I can absorb all this insight into the craft and business, and still do nothing but fail except for getting some pats on the back, at least I'll fail with a little more of the money I earn on the day job left in the bank. So, fever or no fever, at least there are certain trains I'm not going to jump on.

I guess it's all relative to the individual's cash flow and optimism level. Among writers, I'm probably standing in the middling levels for both. Until this past year, I couldn't have even afforded to waste the $1,500. A fortuitous and noticeable advance in my salary led me to at least try it. But with the year behind me, I reflect that I could have bought a very nice, new guitar for that sum, and I'd have something to enjoy for the expenditure.

I have calculated that 37.5% of my money flies away for taxes and benefits before I get my allowance, in a life free of alimony, child support, or massive debt. It was an election year, so I probably wasted a comparable sum, trying and mostly failing to get some good guys and gals elected to office in my idiotic local community. So, this added to my year-end squeeze.

Now, in looking at it from a "proportion" standpoint, I see I probably spent a little over 6% of my real, disposable income this year on this "screenplay" craziness. I had my health, so I could afford that, I guess, and I did learn a few things from it. What price a little wisdom? It's worth more to some than to others, and some find the lessons more affordable than others.

The best way to evaluate your own situation is probably to sit down and do some all-inclusive figuring, tailored to feedback from your work, your research into the market for your work, and past experience. Try to use the past experience not to cast pearls, if pearls you have, before swine. Figure out how much of your disposable income you can spare, set targets for where your work ought to go, and set yourself a budget for promoting it. Keep records, and stick to the budget. Go for only the best contests (good feedback, real potential contacts reading the work, verifiable results) and weed out the worst; there are too many of 'em as it is.

My assessment of inktip is the same as yours, Bernice, and I've heard similar remarks made by others who have used it. Yet, what service exists that really is better for connecting writers and producers on the make? People who've made huge, expensive, successful movies together don't need us; they already have each other. As far as I know, there's inktip and Done Deal out there as legitimate matchmakers that might actually result in *something* happening, and not much else. These two don't seem to be scams, but they are still "caveat emptor" to a large extent. I agree, some of the "producers" who contact you have no apparent "cred." That's life, isn't it?

Right, Orlanda, the male Leos will all make fools of themselves trying to prove to each other which one can conquer the female.

Yes, "pacing yourself" is a good way to put it. But use your experience to decide which contests are worth entering. Not just if they give you a kudo, but do they have a result from getting a kudo that can help you advance into a career. I think the pickings get kind of slim right about there.

And, Orlanda, it's not only you I know who's taken, or is taking, the Hal Croasum Pro Series course, though I won't name any other names, they know who they are. The "saving up for three years," I didn't know about, I just assumed you were fabulously wealthy .

Hey, hey, Paula.

Patrick, I would bet the prodco wanting the "romantic theme" teen story wanted a love story for a particular actor somebody wants to make into a pop heartthrob. If so, then once that actor says, "Nah" to a particular idea, it's "game over." Sounds more like they wanted a story about two kids who fell in love in second grade and are reunited as high school seniors or something like that. (????)

As for the other, if that prodco was "C--- 10," then something just like "Left Behind" is probably about all they really want to do. It sounds like your story was actually based on original thought, instead of being based on a book from the Old Testament of the King James version of The Bible.

"Nah."

It's been an honor posting boasts and bitches with the likes of yez. Merry Xmas, Happy New Year, and may we reap a heavy harvest indeed in '09, fellow 'Byters.

Good article. I've seen some of that territory explored elsewhere, such as Wordplay and Ron Suppa's book on the business. Every writer should make out a spreadsheet to see what reward they're really shooting for. Tax tables can be had from IRS.gov; how you file can also affect your final "allowance" from whatever you're paid (if it's even real money), by substantial margins. Dig around at the WGA website for the table of minimum rates. It does put things into perspective. In the late 70's, I read an interview with Andy Warhol in which he was asked his advice for young artists, and his answer was, "I would just tell them not to do it." All creative people are in a similar boat, and it ain't really a luxury cruiser.

Judge In 'Watchmen' Case Rules For Fox; Fans Brace For Fallout

Dec 26, 2008

http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2008/12/judge-in-watchm.html?cnn=yes = http://tinyurl.com/9gad2e

Kevin Smith says 'Watchmen' is astounding

http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2008/08/watchmen-update.html = http://tinyurl.com/69yudj

Set the options in the software to the specs found in this document:

http://www.oscars.org/nicholl/script.pdf

I know nothing except that there's a thread of only two messages about them if you look down the list to Oct. 9, '08. Good luck getting more info, though.

A decade ago, I posted to an unmoderated newsgroup and got together with some of its members while visiting L.A. in '99. One of them was a very pretty and smart black lady who brought her husband. Their lament at the time was, why do black characters in movies have to fit "black" stereotypes? Why can't they be depicted as middle class, or with functional family lives?

Seen this way, doesn't it break down to whether race is, or isn't, a factor in your story?

I think some people in Hollywood heard that lament and decided to include some black people just because, hey, they're people. And that's one approach. The wife and I just watched one of our faves on DVD, "Love, Actually," and it's a wonderful example of taking that approach.

I do think if the other way is taken, race is somehow an issue being explored (hopefully not "exploited") within the film, it's wise by now to at least play with defying the old expectations. It's easy to get heavy-handed if that road is taken, however. People don't come out of movies kicking up their heels, exclaiming, "Man! That was so -- DIDACTIC!"

At the risk of sounding cliche, "one of my best friends is black," but he was reared in a heavily-white community. He's multi-talented and has a keen intelligence. He developed the dominant speech patterns, only better, as in actually speaking correct English, for example, which is something few people of either race do. His upbringing, vs. general expectations, put him in something of a cultural bind, where many blacks don't accept him easily for his mannerisms, and many whites don't accept him easily for his appearance. The experience of knowing him and hearing about his life, even seeing some of it, showed me narrow-minded prejudice is still more alive than I had thought. He's done better professionally than personally, in my opinion, becoming a college-level teacher -- and an aging bachelor.

Use what life has given you, and use your inborn instincts. Get at your own motives. Are you picturing your characters as whites because, like my friend, that's what you know best? Because that seems more "commercial?" Is the reason even anything you can pin down? How hard would it be to set the story in a more culturally, racially diverse neighborhood?

Or, do you really want to avoid dealing with "ethnicity" as an overt subject? I might guess that's, for once, both the wisest and the easiest course at the same time, in today's climate. Of course, you can't please everyone.

On a side note, I'm hoping the era of President Barack Obama will finally put America's bigotry brigades out to pasture forever. They've soiled the soul of this country for too long.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Thanks for pointing out their conditions. Yes, I agree that a year option is not advantageous to the writer. 90 days to six months, maybe. A year is kind of long if they really can line up the financing. It's a long time for us, as writers, to keep a good script out of circulation.

One of the attractive things about being a screenwriter is also one of the hazards. There is a large laissez-faire component to this activity. No one forces us to write, we don't have to meet any formal regulations, etc. By the same token, no one has to read these vessels we've poured our dreams and sweat into. What we'll settle for is always a matter of hope vs. desperation. UCLA screenwriting prof. Richard Walter advises writers to always have a source of "fuck you" money available, meaning, keep your day job 'til you have to give it up because you're in so much demand as a writer. That way, at least you don't get so desperate for money that you squander your screenwriting talent because some sharpie sees a good script and a writer who needs quick cash.

The best positions available come about when we can meet and engage companies which meet the standards of the Writers Guild of America. This one you cite will be a company which is not a WGA signatory and, if they are upfront and honest about their terms, and if they honor them, no harm, no foul. This will be a company who is on the make, just as you are, looking for a break, just as you are, hoping for a hit, just as you are. The difference is that they allegedly have some means of scraping together some kind of real film budget up their sleeve.

Companies that are not signatory certainly "want to pay writers less," and, in fact, many, if not most of them, will want, and may well only be able to pay "everybody" less.

The potential for harm and foul to the prospects of creative people lies in the prospect of their unions ever being broken. No established WGA member could hope to engage in a deal with a company like this... they'd lose the benefits of membership and any chance of playing in the bigger leagues ever again. Still, I repeat, if the company is aboveboard and honors their stated intentions, it's no harm, no foul.

If you want no less than 5% of the budget, like those with a track record get, don't go in demanding or desperate. Say "thanks for the offer" and carry on trying to break in with a company who will pay that percentage. If you want to see what you can do with your material and the opportunity that's before you, take a chance on it. If you're convinced that you have Academy Award material, then, certainly, you don't want to squander it on this.

Try hitting some geneology newsgroups with your situation, and see if you don't get some authentic reports of when something like it DID happen. Take the documentary evidence into your pitches and hold it at the ready.

Yvonne, it sounds as if you know the history better than those hearing the pitch. Not enough people have read Howard Zinn's "A People's History of the United States," it seems. Labor is another big hole in the head of The United States of Amnesia.

One thing movies can do is to help educate people, but of course, first you have to be a leader in a world of followers to find a way to get it made, this "love story that transcends time and circumstance, while shining a light on a forgotten slice of US history."

I just entered for the first time. It's a pretty new one, isn't it?

Having a script on Inktip got me my first solicitations from producers in 2008. I'll note that particular script won a monthly contest, which was publicized in the Inktip magazine months later, as part of the contest prize, and only then was I contacted by anyone looking to read the script.

Mine every avenue that holds any prospect, keep writing and marketing scripts in every venue you can find. We can't rest on our laurels, if any. The competition is extremely stiff. Writers, no matter how bright, talented, well-studied or creative, are a nickel a dozen. There are people winning big national contests who can't sell a screenplay.

Inktip can be a way to make contact with some industry people and start breaking in. Depends on what you have written and your personal reputation.

Other than that, I'll just echo what Terry posted here.

Monday, May 12, 2008 CONFESSIONS OF A COMPETITION WINNER... http://theworkingscreenwriter.blogspot.com/2008/05/confessions-of-competition-winner_12.html

More from the source:

http://www.kullervo.com/Screenwriting.html

WELC ME

Gordon, the images this logline calls up in my mind are of a growing desert, which is coming from another world encroaching on Earth communities until, some robed prophet raises his shepherd's staff and commands this desert growth to stop. Then, he looks around and finds that he and a befuddled staff of scientists who surround him are muttering. "Well, thanks...Good thing we pulled you into our world. But now what?" I'll bet that sequence is a poor fit for your actual story.

One thing I suspect would help is not to say the prophet stops an invasion by a desert planet, but maybe he "single-handedly combats an invasion by inhabitants of his desert homeworld." IMO, you don't want someone actually in a position to help you either knowing he does actually stop the invasion, (which leaves just the "how"), or giving the impression this leaves him kind of hanging around after page five...

Check it out.

http://www.fivesprockets.com/fs-portal/welcome.do

Go read this:

http://bartlettsscreenwritingtips.blogspot.com/

Well, the old vinyl albums finish playing a side in 20 minutes, so playing records necessitates too many interruptions to get up and change sides or albums. I have hundreds of CDs, too, so, occasionally, I'll pick out five and load my player. It'll often be Depeche Mode, Pink Floyd, Marvin Gaye, something with a groove. If I want to perk up, I'll toss The Proclaimers into the mix. It'll be Sense Field, Coldplay, or Kean if I want to emote a little. (These are examples.) Once in a while, I'll play some classical or jazz or blues, for nonverbal inspiration. Some Bob Dylan or Elvis Costello if I do want to feel the verbal, "literary" influence egging me on.

But lately, I am just opening Winamp and finding something I'm in the mood for streaming from Shoutcast radio. I don't have to be in control and can switch or turn it off from the PC desktop. If something seeps in and makes me want to know/ hear more, it's also a way to take note of groups I'm not already aware of, since it displays who's playing.

The entertainment dollar -- and the other correlative factors which lead to that dollar being regularly spent -- is where it is. That's what we have to work with if we want to write scripts for wide-release movies in theaters. Reality, on that scale, simply doesn't bend to our wishes. You could sooner get rain to fall on your home town by doing a dance.

I could see listening to certain Led Zeppelin pieces to get in the mood for writing sci-fi, particularly some of their "grandeur-drenched" stuff like "Kashmir" or "Nobody's Fault But Mine," from albums like "Physical Graffiti" and "Presence." (Though nearly anything or everything by a band like "Rush" is a more obvious choice.) As for Dylan, I'd choose the mind-elasticizing "Highway 61 Revisited" album for writing sci-fi, with its masterpiece surrealistic songs like "Ballad of a Thin Man," "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues," and "Desolation Row." "At midnight, all the agents, and the super-human crew, Come out and round up everyone that knows more than they do..." Besides, when THE blockbuster movie of 2009 comes out, ("The Watchmen), the opening theme is going to be, "The Times They Are A'Changin'..." It's an inspired, and very appropriate, choice.

Coen brothers characters get carried away by bad ideas into deep trouble in pursuit of petty personal goals. I loved their inferences developed in "Burn After Reading" from the nutty ideas ordinary people get about the covert agencies, the latter's personnel being above the law, yet needing to cover their asses, etc. All in all, I think "The Man Who Wasn't There" was probably their finest achievement.

Yeah, too seldom is the world blessed with such an observant and expressive genius. If Bob Dylan just came along today, he'd never find a toehold in the "music industry." No room for a balladeer influenced by the Wobblies, Beat poets, and life.

Yeah, in the copy-paste, email age, two seconds is nearly all it would take to give a writer some closure. "Discussed your script at meeting. Failed to reach consensus. Good luck with the material." >send<

Screenwriters have to be passionate when pitching their projects, and they have to pour everything they have in the way of ideas and initiative into their craft while drafting them, without becoming too emotionally attached to them. In other words, the camel must pass through the eye of the needle.

Well, "fing" sounds pretty science-fiction-y, too. I can grok it.

As I read the post, I was reminded of how France awards Legions of Honor to artists and Ireland exempts writers from paying income tax, in honor of their contributions to culture. Here, it seems, a damaged airhead like Britney Spears is "culture."

Taking the unpopular view, were's the vantage of a long-time actor who's corresponded with me for about a decade, as posted at www.petitiononline.com/esnyc/petition.html

"We need the arts to become a part of our national identity: it's necessary for us to become more civilized, to go beyond the idea that we are nothing more than consumers, for example. We need to celebrate life, life beyond corporate identity. We need to break the chains of mere capitalism, and celebrate life with what comes from the heart, and art is certainly at the heart of that celebration."

I don't know if having a Secretary of the Arts is the answer for that, but those are my sentiments, too. The CIA once sponsored world tours of New York abstraction as a gesture of Post WW-II cultural imperialism, but, hm, that's not exactly the same thing...

I was pretty content with Scriptware, although it didn't network for some odd reason. So I bought Movie Magic Screenwriter. From all I've heard, it's been a stable performer for all the versions since it topped the quality list in its original incarnation as ScriptThing. It's a rival for Final Draft, and, yes, it has a screen reader function. Don't expect it to be "voices" as in a reading of your play by real people, though it could be helpful, I suppose. "Write Brothers" owns this. I don't know of a "Write Movie Magic." I do know there's a FREE program called celtx which has a lot of wonderful features. Another free screenwriting program was developed by a guy who used to contribute to the misc.writing.screenplays group; it's called page2stage

"I didn't have to see a butt naked werewolf and and every inch of the skinny butt naked female vampire, they don't leave much for the imagination. I didn't buy the second one."

I didn't see the second one because when I rented the first one, I thought it was crap. However, Kate Beckinsale is such a hottie, I may now have to buy the second one. Curse you.

Irin,

Question:

Is there anything I need to do to get FD for Mac to read FD for Win files? Answer: Applies to: Final Draft 5, 6, 7

Final Draft files are cross-platform compatible. Copy the file to a disk, use a network hub or e-mail the file to the Mac. Because Macs see Windows files as generic PC files, you cannot double-click on the file to open it. Instead, open Final Draft, go to File>Open and open the file this way. Once the file is open, you can resave to create a Mac file that you can then double-click to open. When sending from Mac to Windows, follow the same steps, but FD5 users should rename the file so that it has a .fdr extension.181285 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article ID 181285 http://kb.instantservice.com/iskb/SearchAnswer.cfm?NodeID=181285

Hey, bait and switch works. Arouse the sexual desire, then pop the chewing gum in their faces -- here, kids, here's what'll fix yer equilibrium!

Barack Obama takes office today, winning the presidency by over 7.5 million more votes than Al Gore did. Meantime, the outgoing "president" and a prior Congress enabled behind-the-scenes sharks to turn the whole US economy into a Ponzi scheme, which has now collapsed, creating joblessness on a scale not seen since 1945 and the loss of three million homes in two years. As the fallout from enacting a mad, disastrous ideology worsens, here, from today's Fade-In Ezine, is some advice from Allen B. Ury on surviving Great Depression II as a screenwriter. --------

Here are some ways we can prosper during these Hard Times:

* Think Cheap. When Steven Spielberg is having trouble financing a picture, you know times are tough. The last thing you want to do is go to a studio with a project whose budget rivals the GM bailout. Instead, think small. Clint Eastwood's current hit, Gran Torino, had a budget reportedly just south of $35 million. As of last report, it's on track to be Eastwood's greatest box office success -- ever. (Not to mention to most profitable.) The smaller the budget, the smaller the risk, and the greater the upside. That's an attractive formula when money is tight. * Think Happy. When 15 percent of the workforce is out of a job and the other 85 percent is waiting for its pink slip, no one needs to go to the movies to be bummed out. (We can do that by looking at our 401(k)s, thank you very much.) The cure to Depression is comedy, romance, adventure and inspiration. Resurrecting Busby Berkley, Clark Gable and the Marx Brothers may still be beyond the realm of science, but a good strong dose of 21st century escapism is no doubt just the stimulus our personal economies are looking for. * Think Genre. Genre pictures -- particularly horror, rom-coms and thrillers -- always provide the path of least resistance for writers, producers and directors looking to break into the Big Time. With financing tight and studios squeamish, these "perennials" are stronger bets than ever, especially when they feature parts that can be cast with B-list actors or even young unknowns. * Think Boomer. Conversely, projects that appeal to Baby Boomers (45-65) are becoming increasingly attractive to producers in both film and television. Why? Because while younger audiences are dividing their leisure time between videogames, the Internet, DVDs and other personalized entertainment options, Boomers still go to the movies (and watch TV). They still do so habitually. Oh, and they have money. (Social Security is likely to stay solvent longer than Old Navy.) So don't be afraid to write about characters who actually remember Nixon. When it comes to 21st Century buying habits, 50 is the new 30. * Think Positive. 2008 may have been a crap year for the economy, but it was an unusually strong one for Hollywood, both economically and artistically. The mega-corporations that own the major studios may find demand for their microwave ovens, hotels and golf shoes may be on the wane, but there are still plenty of customers both here and abroad eager to shell out for an evening of quality entertainment. In fact, in this era of corporate downsizing, commercial bankruptcies and massive lay-offs, Hollywood may represent your best bet for steady employment.

---- May you all be able to say of this economy, in the immortal words of George W. Bush on swaggering out of Texas toward the White House, having taken that state's budget from black to red as governor, "That's not my problem."

Yeah, not much, except it's brand-new and that it's Erin Chapman's brainchild. Erin says she's been a script coverage analyst and formatter for over ten years, a Bluecats reader, and has "connections with producers/agents/directors." Other than that, she has a B.A. from the University of California, Santa Cruz, and is just started this lit mgt. gig and is soliciting the members of Award Winning Screenwriters, where "Scripts are read and evaluated by professional readers working for MGM, Tri-Star, United Artists, Showtime, Comedy Central, Fox. Judges are WGAw screenwriters who have won multiple awards, and myself, Owner of the company." to pony up some scripts for possible management consideration.

You remember how, when you were trying to get a job and no one would hire you because you have no experience? We've all been there. Magnify that employer's insecurity by a hundred thousand or so and you can get a little insight into the prospective employers' (producers, studio executives) fear of hiring the unknown writer. It's been said that the writer's job is to so inspire a producer that s/he can't go on living without having that script be a movie in the world that people can see. And we all fail at that, regularly. What's so hard about it? Well, raising $50-$100 million dollars.

Here's the financier's perspective: "Oh, you want a hundred million dollars to produce this musical romantic comedy? Who's it by?" Janet Hogate. "Hm. She done anything?" No. She just wants this one script made into a movie. "She got any bankable actors attached, so I can reassure the investors?" No, she just really, really believes this story as a movie will make their money back, and then some. "No director attached? No producer with a track record of recent hits?" Nope. "So, you got a script and a little faith on the part of the writer. That's what you're bringing me, and asking I put together a hundred million dollar deal for yez? Without a track record? Well, we've all gotta have a religion, that is, except for the atheists. She wants to go to the Church of the Artistic Ego? Fine. Have her come back when she's made Tom Cruise a convert. I've got investors to protect... and I like my legs. I like walking on them."

This , in a nutshell, applies in the best of times, never mind now that the US economy's been looted of over ten trillion dollars in productive capacity over the past eight years.

Or, maybe you've got a letter of intent from Tom Cruise, but the only director who wants to touch it can't stand Tom Cruise, or the two bankable pros are not available at the same time, so it can't be packaged, the financing, or licensing, or bonding can't be obtained. You've got your dollar option, but your project gets dropped, or "goes into turnaround." These are some of the reasons people will tell you screenwriting is a numbers game, or that your script might end up as a "calling card" that signifies you can write, because the customer pays only for what the customer wants. A producer might be willing to hire you if s/he thinks you can write what s/he wants to do. But that producer won't be Steven Spielberg; he's already surrounded by million-dollar winners on the creative and business sides, and they're all hopeful for more successes in the future and they're all insecure as hell about keeping their positions, far too much so to take chances on unknown writers. Let's make sure we realize, renowned filmmakers aren't like tourists at Sea World hanging around the edge of the tank with fish in their hands, and writers, no matter what they think, really aren't porpoises leaping up to snatch these non-existent fish in their bills. Writers on the make have to network with other people on the make, who are playing the other roles in the collaborative effort called filmmaking. And all the players are now having to do this in an atmosphere where, for the most part, banks won't even lend money to other banks.

Everyone who's been there and reported to the rest of us about it has tried to tell us one thing, namely, that fear DOES rule everyone in Hollywood. And that's during good times, which these aren't. The people who have tasted Hollywood success are no less dismayed than anyone when something that has everything going for it tanks. There goes years of their hard work and their ownrisk quptient has just gone up. If they ofollow a smash hit with a flop, they are treated like lepers for months or years. People lose their jobs and become non_entities as recriminations fly. Long and short of it is that everyone ends up afraid of breaking ground. "So-and-so made money before, let's do a millennium version and see if it'll make money again" has the ring of prudence and wisdom, considering the stakes, until and unless it fails. Whether such decisions end up being profitable or not, the fear mentality rules. As for budgets, anything over $5 Mil.is officially "big budget" and will need at least B-level stars to attract financing. Want your movie made? No one is playing the game to make life fair for you or me because we write what we think is "good." They are out to make movies as a means of making money. So start rattling cages and see if you can interest some "attachments," because having a script alone just makes you one drop in an ocean. Writers who really want movies made must learn to become their own agents and practically become producers. If we don't learn to advocate for our own work at that level, we won't meke it.And if no one else thinks it worthy of that advocacy, we've just made fools of ourselves and discredited ourselves in their eyes, Are you afraid to advocate. Your script to Jim Carrey(for example) as a possible vehicle for him to star in? If so, is that cowardice? How would you feel if you did advocate that, the movie bombed, and thirty million dollars of investor money was wiped out? Would that propect phase you just a little? Rare exceptions may occur to prove the rule, but recognize the terrain you're trying to work, or you're just going to be lost in it like millions of others who have walked "The Boulevard of Broken Dreams" before you. I say this emphatically, but without rancor.

That's cool, Orlanda. Let me know if you post that song on the web anywhere, or if they do.

I bought a Steinberger Synapse guitar a couple of months ago. That's really cool, too. It's stripped of all nonessentials, with no head and no barely a body, no irregularities at all in the fretwork, and the strings never go out of tune due to some mysterious, built-in technology. It's made of graphite, has built-in active electronics, and, because it had a tiny scratch on the back, I got a hundred dollars off the regular discounted price at zzounds.com. Sweet!

http://www.zzounds.com/item--SBGSYNPS

Ahhh, nice to have a real keyboard to type on again. My last prior post was done on a last year's Blackberry, and I really typo'ed it up on those tiny buttons. Anyway, the main thing is we have to be resourceful and creative about our approaches to getting our work boosted to the "getting made" stage. Okay, can't get actors to read the script? Resolve to get a manager who can coach you along in rewrites to the point where agents and producers the managers get feedback from want to get the damned movie made. If the script finally sells, voila! you'll suddenly have an agent and be a member of the Writers' Guild. Then, you get to start over, but from that platform, for whatever it's worth, hopefully, with at least a handful of nice checks deposited and the gain of some time, precious time, to work with.

I will have to resolve to live up to my own words about advocacy. Why would we even put out something, hoping to catch industry attention, if we don't sincerely believe a ten or twenty million dollar star would want to act in it, to boost his or her career? Can I really make that happen? Can you? Don't we have to shoot for that level of accomplishment?

There seem to be several ways of networking and / or exposure that are burgeoning on the web, Inktip, Done Deal, Storylink, Triggerstreet, Virtual Pitchfest, LinkedIn... but after a while, I get the feeling some, if not all of these are kind of like... playpens. Sit down and get out your coloring book, kids. Today we're going to play, "staying occupied at arm's length." Anyone else feel that way? Or am I just getting impatient?

Meanwhile, there's society, the world we live in, now screwed up in a way it hasn't been for seventy years. We have not yet felt the full impact, but we've lost over 2.5 million jobs in a year, most of those within the past three months, the worst in absolute numbers or proportionate to the national workforce since 1945. Three million people have recently lost their homes in what the last guy called "president" said two years ago would be "the ownership society." (Run! Hide! The Generalissimo has announced unprecedented prosperity!)

The whole fiscal environment we're all in now is not just one in which some companies have "mismanaged some money." It is one in which, through the deregulatory actions of a recent Senate Banking Committee chairman (and John McCain economic advisor) Phil Gramm and a few other unindicted, white collar criminals, legal protections for working people's deposited money in banks, put in place after the Great Depression, were torn down and new legal debt instruments concocted that permitted infinite "leveraging," creation of legal obligations to pay money on "derivatives" worth hundreds, or thousands of times what was backing them, which was personal debt in the first place. The whole rotten scheme was positively ghoulish. The net worth of everything on earth has been estimated by some economists at 100 trillion dollars. Some analysts believe that the debt obligation monsters created to turn the US economy into a gigantic Ponzi scheme, namely, derivatives and credit swap debt obligations, total MORE THAN THAT... more than the net worth of everything that exists on the planet. Do those holding the notes now control everything and everybody, or what?

The collapse of the pyramid scheme, or game of Russian Roulette with Other People's Money, has seized up the financial economy. Yet, everybody doing anything, including studios, indies, and the all-important distributors who buy (or used to) from the filmmakers, still need that economic lubricant because it's the only context we have for conducting commerce. So, where do we go from here?

If the economy splinters into alternatives to the US dollar such as "Ithaca Hours" and the like, all economics will go local, and some places might thrive, while others may starve.

I'm betting that instead, the multinational central bank globalists will pull new political and economic superblocs using new currencies out of the ruins they've generated with their and their rotten henchmen's con games. If that is the way it goes, then, when we trade in our dollars for Ameros, what value will the bills of the busted currency have after the swap? A nickel? Whatever new deal is worked out, there will have to be a major contraction from these paper obligations in the hands of the financial sharks who connived us into this mess. Debt cannot rationally exceed the estimated value of all things made on earth. Those who wield the power to carve up the globe see opportunity in disaster, so much so that they undeniably create disasters and steer the discombobulated victims toward pre-planned end results, (war on oil-rich Iraq, for instance).

Writers who want to see their work translated into images of people moving on a screen need to be just as opportunistic, determined, and resourceful, to pull glory from the fiscal ashes we've inherited. Become a guerilla local filmmaker on video, something... We certainly can't just write and expect the world to beat a path to our door.

Yeah, Fiona's a good one. My favorite line of herd is from "Paper Bag. 'He said,'It's all in your head"/ I said,"So's everything, but he didn't get it.'

I wrote to Erin, and just asked her, and immediately got a brief reply.

Me:

Erin, I joined the AWS; thanks for the invitation. I've looked over the roster of people involved and I plan to at least enter something in your contest. I'm curious about your plans for the new management aspect of your AWS site. Are you planning on doing standard literary management, as in, I presume, coaching along writers until they have salable product, then taking a commission if /when one sales, with an agent making the sale and taking their 10%, etc.? Or, would this be some form of fee-based management? Or, do you have plans to act as producer and option scripts? This is information you may want to post on the site, particularly if I'm not the only one wondering about these things.

Erin's reply:

We shall see, it's a new Division, and is evolving. ------------

Why would I want to know such things?

See the section: "Q: A manager just offered me a two year contract!" at: http://www.kullervo.com/The_Agents.html

In fact, read the whole article.

Anyone who posts to this board who hasn't availed themselves of reading all of Lorelei Armstrong's articles posted on this web site [URL referenced in my thread, "Read It and [BLEEP]")is missing one of the greatest free educations in screenwriting that exists.

Erin Chapman just wrote me again to add this:

"Sorry, I didn't answer your questions - there is no fee to the writer except if a screenplay is optioned/sold. Then the Agreement states 10%. This is separate from any agreement a writer has with an Agent."

Agent Bruce Bartlett's latest blog entry:

"I include this portion of David Hayes article in today's Variety to emphasize the difficult environment indy film financiers and distributors find themselves in. Last year's Cinderella Coach (Hamlet 2) went for $10 million. However it promptly turned back into a pumpkin over the summer when it only grossed $5M. When you consider the marketing that went into the film's wide release, plus the $10M to buy it and the theater owners take, that's a loss of around $20 million, Ouch! Folks, that's real money, not the Monopoly stuff. If you're the type of person who slams the studios for being uncreative or short sighted, remember this financial loss before doing it again. Remember this is "Show Business," not "Show Art." And please think about the financiers' concerns when choosing what to write or which of your scripts to send to an agent, manager or producer. It's tough out there."

http://bartlettsscreenwritingtips.blogspot.com/

Recommended; See thread "Read It and (BLEEP)," read all the articles in the links.

Wanna make a movie for cheap? Here's some good advice from a master:

Blockbuster on a Budget, pt. 1, by William C. Martell

http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/blockb1.htm

Blockbuster on a Budget, pt. 2, by William C. Martell

http://www.scriptsecrets.net/articles/blockb2.htm

Wanna go straight to DVD? DVD rentals bring in more revenue for studios now than theatrical distribution. So the big boys are planning to do it more, too.

http://www.cdfreaks.com/news/12239-Warner-to-unleash-Warner-Premier-straight-to-DVD-films.html

Warner Video Takes Horror Straight to DVD

http://articles.latimes.com/2006/apr/09/business/fi-horror9

And there are six distribution channels filmmakers can pursue, as explained by Stacey Parks.

Film Specific - The Complete Distribution Source for Independent Filmmakers

http://www.filmspecific.com/

"The Truth is Out There"

It's evidently not posted on the web. I can't even find it for sale at the script stores.

Yvonne, yes, more people do see TV than movies. Yes, searching up producers who have made work similar to what you have written is absolutely the right way to go.

Anything else I have said has nothing to do with having, or with trying to induce any state of mind, except that one has to actually know and understand reality and the operational context of one's business goals before one can effectively act to reach it.

Start by rewriting any of the motion pictures listed here, with your own description, characters, and dialogue substituted for theirs.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Academy_Award-winning_films

The glamorous allure of the big screen is there for most of us, but as a practical matter, TV is better for several reasons. For one, it's where most of the money is. Not necessarily for writers, but for agents. It is for writers, too, in certain ways. One, they'll have a regular gig; two, they'll become much richer if only they work hard, play their cards right, and advance to become show runners.

There are two main reasons for that. One is that more people are watching a TV show at any given time than are sitting in a movie theater or even watching a rental. Another is that, unlike theatrical motion pictures, TV shows are an ongoing gig, an actual job, with regular, very good pay, even if it turns out to be short-term. A hit TV show makes its beneficiaries wealthier than a hit movie will. And agents can find clients work more easily in TV because it's a broader field. Of course, the competition is all the stiffer for these reasons.

But people think they'll become rich as screenwriters. Between being doled out the "big money" (most often, a tenth of what everyone daydreams about) in step-payment deals on sales, the need to live in expensive Los Angeles for the sake of career, and the utter lack of guarantee of ever succeeding again, a spec script writer can get stranded like a chimp in the Sahara, whereas a good TV writer is more apt to find another jungle vine and keep swingin' along through the TV trees.

Another benefit for the TV writer is that there's no time for your bosses to demand four hundred random rewrites based on how well some superfluous executive's lunch sat with him on a given day. The clock's ticking and the mill's running, it's time to turn in your best, team, and this bit from Janet and that bit from Yvonne get used with this other bit from Ron, and Joe's the writer on the episode who ties it all together, and next we have our story conference and everyone gets to work on next weeks' episode, quick!

Where movies, as opposed to series, are concerned, if you can sell a movie script to ABC Family, Lifetime, Hallmark, or Disney Channel, you won't get as big a payday as a major motion picture sale, but less will be demanded of you, and more work in the future is more likely to come your way.

Just being able to "air" and deliver the commercials to the target demographic constitutes success in TV.

It takes so much effort to promote even one success, that no one will really want to touch someone who thinks they'll get in, make their one wonderful score with their one wonderful script (even if it really is), get rich, and then get lost. If you can score, they'll want more.

Good point, New York should get its due. I am using Writers' Guild East to register my new scripts because they're kept on file for ten years in New York as opposed to five in L.A. for the same fee. Okay, I'm a cheapskate.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_television_shows_filmed_in_New_York_City

Until everyone gets used to webcamming as a way of life, it seems if the execs ever take an interest in you as a writer, they'll want to call you in for actual meetings on short notice. That's the catch... well, one of the catches...

I wouldn't move to L.A. until and unless I had to. For the right deals and a chance to continue making more, sure. But it'd have to be good. Half a million dollars buys a shotgun shack in that city. But my preference for living somewhere saner and more modest is not helping me "have a career in motion pictures," that's for sure. In L.A., you've got to be what we call rich just to have a shot. The City of Angels is a pretty worldly place.

Check out Carrera Studio, Bryce 3D, and Poser as less-expensive options. There's another one I've downloaded and installed, but haven't had time to play with. It's FREE, and it looks very promising. It's called "Blender."

The book, "Inside Hollywood" by John Morgan Wilson has some great history, if you want to know how it happened in L.A.

I've only visited there once. Loved Santa Monica and Jerry's Deli in Beverly Hills, where I got together with writers who posted on misc.writing.screenplays. The most famous was W. T. Quick and one of the Wheat brothers was there; he was a writer on "Pitch Black," which had just been released. It was hard for me to get used to all the valet parking, and the spikes in the entrances to parking lots that would shred your tires if you were going the wrong way. Wow. It looked like they meant business. Lots of iron bars on residential windows, too. Memphis is like that, as well...

New York, I've visited over a dozen times. I like to visit the galleries and museums. Great city to visit when you have some spending money, especially if you have a friend who'll put you up, as I used to have before he got priced out of there (all the way to Paris, actually, and later, Berlin). And "there" was the Greenpoint neighborhood of Brooklyn, in a building on the East River that's been seen in lots of gangster films, possibly because the building across the parking lot is reputedly owned by the Mob. They say it's the safest place to be, because the biggest danger to you are the riff-raff thugs, and these business-like killers despise them and would put their pieces in the river if they made trouble right there.

There's a scene in "Donnie Brasco" that shows the street that runs beside these buildings, Al ("Lefty") Pacino's car driving toward the camera from the bridge about two blocks down. REVERSE ANGLE into the next shot, and you're looking at a bar that couldn't have been anywhere near there, but you get the impression that car's just stopped at the corner. Movie magic!

I was just solicited for it, too. It's brand-new. They have a nice, slick web site, but do they give their names? Not in the "About Us" page. Their entry fees are quite affordable, which is nice. But, I wonder how anyone can have "close relationships" with thousands of industry pros worldwide. I also wonder about the wisdom, let alone the human capability, for delivering 8,000 copies of the script to them. If it came true, that's really "shopping wide," but if no one bought it right away, everyone would know, so no one would buy it later, either; its prospects stand to be killed by this scattershot approach to market. If this contest prize is real, I don't see it as smart targeting for the winner. Not that that would be me, I'm sure, but I think I'm gonna pass.

I guess not, but if there's gonna be one and you need an accomplice, I can probably find you Phil Gramm's contact info.

They're not easy to get, but here is where to start making inquiries:

http://lawyers.findlaw.com/lawyer/lawyer_dir/search/jsp/stdSearch_process.jsp?stype=BY_ADDR_OR_ZIP&keyword=entertainment&location=Los+Angeles

= http://tinyurl.com/bqs34s

I'd make some calls and tell the assistant I was a writer with a solicited screenplay in search of an attorney who will forward it on to an interested prodco on contingency. Ask if the boss makes that a practice, and, if so, what percentage s/he will charge (it'll be 5%-10%). Some of these people are wayyyy above our heads, dealing only with VIPs, and they don't mind letting us know about it if they get an email from the likes of us; others are approachable, perhaps even friendly to writers. That's why I recommend feeling your way in with a phone call. A lot of them have web sites you can visit first, to see what they have to say. They may even spell out their policies there. Good luck!

Well, you guys be sure and produce some report cards for the rest of us 'byters. Lots o' luck!

Damn, Yvonne, just have a female character free-associate like this and call it a script. It will sell, surely.

You can't wait on serial emails. Call, and call as many as you can. Keep a list and mark 'em off as you go, it's easy to forget whom you've called when the numbers stack up. I live in Eastern time and the only way I can afford to call people on the West Coast is to use my cell phone; it doesn't cost me long distance charges. What you're saying is one more reason to make brief phone calls. You'll get a quick answer, at least. If you get an hour for lunch, you can probably make five or six calls during lunch. If you live in the east, you can probably make a few calls after work and catch the reception desk before they go home. I think if you keep trying, you'll get lucky. What you've probably reached so far are the high and mighty. You just need someone who's willing to give a few minutes of an assistant's time for a deal potentially worth five thousand dollars or so, someone to whom five thousand dollars is still worth considering. Hard to believe, but such people still do exist, even in that field. ;-)

I made some notes on this in the last two days before the deadline, and obviously didn't get around to trying to write the ten pages. The lads selected had something more exciting than I came up with, but it's interesting to note certain parallels, suggested by the concept, between their thinking and mine.

----------------------------------------

Small-town awkward teenager Joshua Barnes, dreams of being Jason Bourne while facing an uncertain future in Troytown.

Joshua learns about a peculiar new neighbor who is just moving in down the street while delivering newspapers.

The neighbor is Leo Kleigman, and his face looks artificially constructed. There is the hint of a scar above his left cheekbone. Joshua overcomes his resistance and signs him up for a newspaper subscription.

Talking with his buds, Jason concludes Leo Kleigman is a made-up name and that he has had plastic surgery to cover his true identity, either because of his past or his deep-cover mission.

Pages 1-10

We follow Jason through his ordinary world. Home's not that great, with Dad being laid off and humbled, Mom struggling valiantly to make ends meet, and Jason unsure what comes beyond the paper route after graduation.

Breeze through a school day and meet his pals. See "The Bourne Identity" poster on the inside of his locker door.

See him painfully engage Amy, on whom he has a crush. Amy's family is from the better side of the tracks, and his sense of inferiority inhibits Joshua.

Deliver papers with him and meet Kleigman.

Follow Kleigman with him to a suspicious rendezvous on the outskirts of town and hand someone a canister.

Joshua leaps into action to grab the canister. A high-speed chase with him on a motorcycle turns into...

... him pumping hard on his bike en route to home for dinner after delivering all his papers.

Kliegman's house is dark.

Looks to be a producer of commercials who want to venture into a feature. I'm pretty sure no one's had experience with them, unless they've hired them to make a commercial. They may be wonderful, but if I were to try submitting something to fulfill their quest for a low-budget, high-concept killer script, I'd want to know what their distribution strategy was going to be. If that question drew a blank, I'd probably stay home. It doesn't matter how good you might be at budgeting, scheduling, and filming if you don't know how to get it "out there."

I entered a script that's made all sorts of placements in other contests, but washed right out of this one. I noticed the titles of the ones which placed generally tended to sound like heavy drama pieces.

Interesting, Irin, thanks for the responding comment. Best of luck from here; the potential of this one looked awesome.

Good networking! I'd try to tind a producer, hopefully someone in that actor's own network, who can get behind it. Beyond that, use IMDB to pinpoint other potential cast and producers who have had SUCCESS in the genre. You want to make sure there's no bad blood between this actor and anyone else you contact, so, if you get a thumbs-up from the actor, keep the communication flowing enough to be sure of your ground before approaching other players on your own, or, hopefully, together. Good luck and keep us posted.

... you'll want to consider the information in this thread before jumping at the bait.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2011078

As a prize, I had a script listed for six months both on http://www.screenwritersvault.com/ and on http://www.inktip.com/

I got a lot of looks and a handful of solicitations from inktip, one peek and "ZIPPO" from the "vault." Maybe the TV writers side is better in the vault, but since I'm not into TV, I wouldn't know.

Don't know about "Software HQ," but I use Acrobat. It allows the user to set security so the script can be read on screen, not printed, and so forth. It's a "universal translator" which can hash together text and pictures in one fully embedded file for transmission and the PDF file can be read on any platform. There are other programs which can create PDFs (Portable Document Format). If memory serves me, even by downloading just the Acrobat Reader from Adobe, you gain the ability to "print" any file to the Acrobat "printer" and create a PDF copy of any file. Some non-Adobe programs have sprung up allowing the creation of PDFs, as well.

In Love and War: A struggling screenwriter reunites with an old flame, only to find he has put his life in jeopardy from the violent husband she is trying to divorce.

"Whitman, the fella who shot all them guys from that tower, I'll bet you green money that that first little black dot that he took a bead on, was the bitch of the bunch. No foolin' the first one's a tough row to hoe. Now, the second one, while it ain't no Mardi Gras, it ain't half as tough row to hoe. You still feel somethin,' but it's just so diluted this time around. Then you completely level off on the third one. The third one's easy.

"It's gotten to the point now, I'll do it just to watch their expressions change."

Of course, those lines are Quentin Tarantino's from his brilliant script for "True Romance." I always think of them when I get those qualms about killing a character.

You won't regret it, Tim.

Orlanda has it right, of course. You can certainly write someone in who "has it coming" so bad the audience will CHEER when he's killed... but he'll be the last to go, after several characters we've come to know and grown quite fond of. Well, that's if you want emotional impact. Don't forget, that's why movies are made.

With so much struggle foregrounded, these titles still sound soft to me. Has "Love's Gauntlet" been used? "To Run Love's Gauntlet" is something you'd only do willingy, if at all.

Two old friends find demons from their past live on when their boss sets them in a rivalry for the professional prize of their lives.

I weep to behold it...

...with tears of gratitude.

About "The Watchmen"

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/dor/objects/34260/watchmen/videos/watch_ncm_feat_010509.html

Apparently, still coming March 6, despite Fox.

You might want to check out:

"Contact Any Celebrity"

http://www.contactanycelebrity.com/

Here I come, arguing that these two things are not mutually exclusive, and that if you want to come in as an unknown quantity and SELL a screenplay, you will need to, yes, make the reader empathize and feel the emotions, BUT, you better do it in a way such that s/he won't have second thoughts about recommending it to the higher-ups. It needs to have the snappy pacing and lean execution, etc. that "leaves 'em [the other creatives you need to make a movie] wanting more" -- "more," which they can supply, by deciding to spend up to a couple of years, perhaps even more, of their lives dedicated to making your project a reality. That's a craft.

Remember, it's you and 100,000 others all trying to fill one of perhaps, if you're lucky, twenty available slots for spec script purchases slated to become Hollywood productions in the United States in a given year. Script readers are INUNDATED.

Therefore, you should read this article by "The Unknown Screenwriter" on how little it takes to have your script tossed in the trash.

http://www.unknownscreenwriter.com/we-pass/screenwriting/tips/2009/02/17/

Jean, this is to serve notice that you shall be hearing from the attorneys for UGLY - the Union of Gnarly Little Yokels. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

I usually get an idea of a person in some unusual situation, sometimes visual, sometimes verbal, especially since I'm trying to learn to pop off loglines and concepts more fluidly. Then I try to see if I can extend the thought into a situation that can hit the marks on a chart I cobbled together from the ideas in various "how-to" books. If it will, and I think I actually want to write it and can, then I start writing a plot course. I'm trying to cltivate more front end patience and perseverance, so that I write an extended scene breakdown from there, instead of just launching into the screeplay formatting program. Beginnings and endings, ideally, should be like "bookends," the ending a resolution mirror of the beginning. I'm striving to get better at those. It's often been said a worthy movie script will have three great scenes and no bad one. Setting up a dilemma can provide that third great scene, which will probably define the midpoint. Beginning, midpoint reversal, ending, these sequences need to highlight a script, along with a couple of lesser reversals.

Here's what I originally suggested:

A struggling screenwriter reunites with an old flame, only to find he has put his life in jeopardy from the violent husband she is trying to divorce.

And your new version, with my notes [in brackets].

A struggling writer [why mention this occupation? how does it matter to the outcome?] reunites with an old flame, risks his life by taking the stand in a divorce and custody trial against her violent husband [does he know in advance he's risking his life by taking the stand?], who hires a hitman to kill him [new information?].

I'm also going to ask you questions based on your story breakdown. I figure you're going to hear these questions, or something like them, if you try to pitch this story as you've broken it down for us here.

Now, here's your earlier description and [more interrogation]:

About half of the script pertains to the divorce and custody and everything incidental to them.

The first few pages are about the writer's attempt to break into Hollywood but in vain. [Struggling screenwriters frequently write about struggling screenwriters, don't they? At least this one has an agent, as we see later!]

Then there are some pages about the high school reunion party.

[Okay, the reunion with the old flame, how does that go? Is she reluctant, trying to spare him involvement in her complex life situation, or eager for love and rescue? I would think she might lose some sympathy if she's too eager to go home with the guy...]

After that we get to the meat of the story -- he's invited to her home to face the hostility of the daughter,

[And this makes me wonder some more, did he have to overcome any reluctance on her part to come here? What specific reason is the daughter hostile to the screenwriter? Has she adopted her daddy's ethos, personality, does she have contempt for the "weakness" of her mother?]

her husband coming to the house and abuses her,

[Huh? Where's our hero while this abuse occurs?]

he decides to help her,

[Okay, he loves her a lot, your story is premised on that. We need a theme that the plot can fulfill. But, as presented here, it seems he's lending "moral support" and tattling to an attorney and the police. In the "real" world, we'd do this, but in the "reel" world, has he got anything a little more interesting going for him?]

seeing her lawyer,

[Hm. Delete.]

report to police about the assault,

[OK.]

her lawyer's application for restraining order,

[OK. This is why you don't need the lawyer twice... but, reel life not being "real" life, hearing this pitch, by now, I'm wondering if you're about to conduct us into a courtroom drama or a thriller, which are very different beasts of genre.]

her husband hires a PI to take photos of them being intimate and kissing,

[May I point out that the husband is creating a sort of paper trail for himself at this point which might implicate him if the woman or the writer happen to have a terrible accident and the police investigate?]

the teeming of their love,

[OK.]

attempt to kill him,

[Thriller, then. How is the attempt thwarted? Just asking, do you know? Is it something the protagonist does that saves him? Is he an action hero? If he is, do you realize this is the only opportunity presented here for him to be so?]

reporting to police,

[Who then do what? Is the husband so clever he's covered his tracks? Hiring the P.I. is one of the tracks. What does he do with the photos? Why doesn't he win custody of his daughter, they both seem to want it, or else, why is the daughter so against the screenwriter?]

him wining the daughter over to agree to his intended marriage to her mom, more opposition from daughter,

[Why?]

the mom tries to kill herself,

[Why? She has no confidence that she and the screenwriter can prevail against the murderous husband? She's depressed, guilty? Doesn't her attempted suicide bolster her husband's case for custody of the daughter?]

causing the daughter to budge,

[Finally.]

then it's about the divorce and custody trial where property division and lump-sum alimony are also issues raised,

[Oh, I see. Courtroom drama, then. TV fare.]

then she will the case. [will, the case, what, "lose?" "win?"]

Then he asks her permission to write the story, where she agrees,

then he e-mails the script to his agent,

receives her call three weeks later, asking him to meet a producer,

[From "Lifetime?"]

he returns with the news of selling the script and they decide to move to LA and sell the house.

[Leaving the murderous husband -- where? How? We haven't heard about him for a while. Did police action take care of the guy (better not)? Something the hero did (better be)? Where's the hitman these days?]

If you do adopt the title of "Love's Gauntlet," then each "slap of the gauntlet" needs to be distinct and a harder challenge than the one before. It also has an overtone of endurance and defiance in its implications. Complaining to police and an attorney is fine, as long as the result is not, and the hero has to take charge himself. But, then what? What does *he* do to survive the gauntlet and overcome his and his love's persecutors? Where *is* the conflict? What is the genre? Thriller, or courtroom drama? You're going to be asked these things if you try to pitch this story. I'm not getting much of the nature or actions involved in the conflict between screenwriter and abusive, murderous husband from this description.

The notion that a writer is the occupation of the hero doesn't appeal to me, personally, and the notion that this story of theirs is so hot that it instantly makes the couple enough money to solve their problems is very akin to what's called a "deus ex machina," the scene in ancient Greek dramas where a God descends from heaven and rewards the virtuous protagonist with the solution to his problems. It seems like a lot of tawdry true-life dramas that play out across the nation and the world with depressing frequency. It needs something edgier, more special, to foreground it and make it movie-worthy material for the writer to be able to sell it.

I recently mentioned "True Romance" in another thread. Your story calls it to mind by contrast, and makes me propose that, writer or not, your hero's pluck and *cleverness* need to be an integral part of your story and pitch. (And it particularly should be so if he's a writer, because the main asset of a writer is a resourceful imagination; otherwise, let's face it, writers (unless famous and rich), like all creative artistic types, are commonly seen as life's maladaptive losers, baby.) Give the writer a former occupation that makes it credible that he can prevail, but show the husband as so powerful that we still doubt he can. The husband is a gangster. The old flame wants OUT, in large part because of THAT. The husband should be a smug, cat-and-mouse player. The daughter is teetering, her loyalties torn; she sees her daddy's strength, but needs to learn to comprehend that of her mother as well, and your male lead has to help her see that. Your hero should also out-con the gangster and make them a new life with a large chunk of his ill-gotten money, thwarting the bad guy in a way that really sticks it to him. Something he learns from the abused wife, his old flame, needs to play a role, and she needs to take a real risk to help her old lover prevail over the abusive husband. Being found out in this "treachery" needs to put them in a more dangerous place than any attorney or cop can be of immediate assistance in. But the hero has "written" a twist ending to their "plot" that is the undoing of the abusive husband. See what I mean? If you can do that, you'll gain a lot of thematic thread and elevate this material beyond what I'm sensing now, from your description.

You seem to know your story pretty well, at least the plot points you intend to include. But in my encounters with readers I find they are very strict about genre. It seems to me, still, that you may have to decide if your story is going to be a psycho - drama taking place largely in a courtroom setting or an action/ thriller with a car chase and hitman. I'm not so sure you can sell it by splitting the difference, as it sounds (to me) like you want to do. The differences in pacing and the responses from the protagonists are quite dissimilar in those two story styles.

Aside fromt that matter, let me try to clarify some concerns I have about the main male figure being a writer. A lot of people who write have, frankly, a much richer interior, fantasy life than risky adventures in their real lives, eh? When I talk about "thematics," I mean, among possibly other things, that the choice of protagonist, his vocation, and his means of dealing with the problem are of one continuum. That all say what he is that is special and unique, why he was born for this woman to love and how he's going to win against the adversity of the abusive husband. I think you are angling for that a little bit when you want the guy to make enough money to buy him and his lady love a house in L.A. (In that case, DON'T make the producer be from "Lifetime;" that was a joke because for its first years, "Lifetime" presented nothing but stories of women being stalked by menacing men / psychotic dates, as if its mission were to inhibit the desire to use dating services. Besides, "Lifetime's" pay rates aren't near enough to buy a house in modestly-valued locations, let alone super high-priced L.A. real estate.) My point is, if that's the one reason he's a writer, it'll seem tacked on at the end as a "convenient" way to acquire a big paycheck. It happens because the writer of the writer's story wants it to happen, not because it's intrinsic to the character.

What I'm suggesting you think about goes deeper, and if you can take the story there, you'll enrich it. As an example of a thematic thread, here's a movie to recall, just off the top of my head: "Five Easy Pieces," 1970, an early example of Jack Nicholson's stardom. His character, Bobby, came from a privileged family and he knew how to play classical piano. But, he dodged the destiny his family situation would place him in to work on an oil rig as a blue-collar worker.

Now, there's a classic restaurant scene in this movie that may be the best thing about it. He's in a restaurant with a couple of women and he orders wheat toast instead of rolls with his order. The waitress taps the menu with her pencil and says "no substitutions." And that goes on to play out as one of the greatest scenes in cinema. The dialogue makes it a classic, but beyond that, what makes it work so well is that it's ABOUT WHAT THE WHOLE MOVIE IS ABOUT -- freedom of choice, the protagonist's own personal hangup.

Good movies typically feature a character apparently WANTING one thing, but NEEDING something else they don't discover until the halfway point, when immersion in their struggle causes them to realize their true lack. For instance, does your screenwriter, or the abused wife, realize the problem in their lives has been a lack of courage? Does this give them the impetus to take on the challenge of the abusive husband? Is there something unsettled between them that, had it been settled before, she never would have ended up in such a bad situation? There are other possibilities, of course, but this is an example I'm tossing out. A good movie must go beyond being an inventory of events that unfold. Your story is about something that lives deep in someone's heart. Now, this "something" is going to have its own nature, it's going to make its own particular demand on the characters, and its from the heart, so it can't be expected to be rational. How is what the two hearts of your lovers want challenged on an INTERNAL level? Can you make it so that it looks like it would hurt your lovers even to SUCCEED at getting together? There's some tragedy between them, from their past, to be overcome, maybe it comes from a misunderstanding or some character shortcoming. But if your story's conflict is all externalized in a typical "bad guy" husband, the depth of romance in the story won't be nearly all it could be if you approach it from an "inside out" angle as well as the "outside in" one you've described for us.

That's probably all I'll say about this, but if you're writing a romance that's powerful enough to transcend danger from without, it's worth thinking about the treacherous undercurrents that can come from within, about the tragedy that two hearts yearn to overcome, about the obstacles, not from other sources, but from WITHIN, that stand in their own way. Pull *that* out of the depths and you can transcend the "inventory of events" scenario to really move your audience.

Glad you took it well, Chris, and have some answers for those questions I popped off with. Good luck with it.

Whoa! My name in a thread! I found out Friday night when someone from another domain congratulated me on getting so far. It was a pleasant surprise. I entered two scripts and only one made this status. Some of the other finalists had two or even three scripts among the thirteen left standing (of 55 entries listed), so this is probably as far as I go, but it's an encouraging development. Thanks for all the well-wishing, folks!

Well, I have to say, you're all worth every cent I paid! ...

Seriously, I'm blushing. All this outpouring of 'Byters' goodwill is the best part of being an AWS finalist, as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah, no kidding, Irin, you seem to know what you're doing. Keep it up!

Way to go, Jean! You've really got the ball rolling now! Don't forget "you knew us when...!" Good luck and keep us posted.

Ms Szabo predicted a good year for Moviebyters. First quarter's not shapin' up too bad. Congrats, Irin!

This seems to hit the points in the basic rom-com formula. However, one possible enhancement could be to provide the reader with some hint as to what is going to be FUNNY in this comedy. Surely a lot of the humor must revolve around this guy's friendship and their bet, but maybe you could hint more at the comedy tone somehow, as well as the romantic thread of the plot as you're already doing. You know, a laugh is always at someone's expense (in these movies, it's at the guy's expense), so... in what hilarious way does he trip himself up?

I remember Jim Bennett posting here about "Cover Band: Don't Stop Believing," too, don't I? I thought it was a fantastic idea. Congrats to you, too, Jim, if you're out there, on getting this recognition for your script.

Good POVs from the successful. Thanks for posting.

Well done, Orlanda. Very tastefully laid out, and a great online resume. May it bring you luck!

Yes, who is this "Geoffrey Breuder" we keep hearing so much about on the "done good" contest lists?

Avoid the door only if it's a bore.

Very true, Paula. I once went the Zoetrope round and, though I got some earnest and insightful feedback, I also a few which were trifles obviously done simply to report the numbers. Don't ever respond to opinions and feedback unless it passes the respect test, i.e., it has to display enough care and insight to merit respect from the writer.

Orlanda and James, If you have multi-track recording capabilities, and can export .WAV files, I'm all up for being the guitarist. (I use Sonar and Sound Forge software for digital audio creations.) We can make a long-distance jam of "Wild Thing." We can call ourselves the "Frankly, My Dears" or something movie-ish like that.

And the winners are...

1st Place: Stranded by Brian Pittman and Rachel Long

2nd Place: Colter's Hell by Robin Russin

3rd Place: Demons & Gargoyles by Elizabeth Pfeiffer

So, if any of these writers lurk here, please post if anything develops from your win. Thanks!

Um, not right now. :-)

Thanks, Tom. Since this morning, it looks like the contestants received one-page synopses of their scripts, along with scoring in seven categories on a 1 (poor) - 5 (excellent) scale.

They're tough graders at AWS, as they should be. My script that made "finalist" scored 25 of a possible 35 (the score if all seven categories were scored "excellent"). The one that was eliminated scored 22. Respectively, reduced to percentages of 100, that would make their grades like a 71% and a 62% for my scripts. At least they didn't score either of my pieces of work less than "Good" in any category.

They say they're sending the synopses to their short list of sponsoring companies. One would hope that might lead to an interested phone call, but in reality, the moral of the story is probably to just "keep on trying to improve."

Recommended reading: "Breakfast with Sharks" by Michael Lent, who says it's five years of diligent, targeted and regular writing and marketing effort to reach "overnight success" status, and ten years of same to establish an actual screenwriting career in Hollywood.

Actually, in the way of electric guitars, I've currently got a Peavey T-60 and a Steinberger Synapse. Wouldn't mind having a Tele, though; despite having these riches within arms' length, I keep daydreaming of a nice, white Telecaster with a whammy bar.

All guitarists are fetishists.

Yeah? Think how Audrey Kelly must feel about it.

...that shapes "Raiders of the Lost Ark." Next best thing to getting to be a fly on the wall. Analysis in article, with link to a complete transcript from tapes of the discussion among George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kasdan.

http://mysterymanonfilm.blogspot.com/2009/03/raiders-story-conference.html

The brilliance of writer Alan Moore, or, "The Watchmen" and visual counterpoint:

http://mysterymanonfilm.blogspot.com/2009/03/watchmen-visual-irony.html

Highly worthwhile. Requires graphic novel.

Boy, I guess it never really did stand a chance against "Paul Blart: Mall Cop," did it? I forgot what country I was living in for a while there.

I'm a long-time fan of the original comic book story, the only such property to make Time Magazine's list of 100 greatest novels of the 20th Century. I would encourage writers to ignore the jaundiced remarks and get acquainted with the top-notch, highly original way Alan Moore wrote the actual story. Sales of the collected graphic novel rose after the release of "The Dark Knight" last year, so much so that DC plunked down to have 900,000 copies printed. "The Watchmen" collected graphic novel is Amazon.com's # seller of ANY BOOK right now.

As for the movie adaptation, "The Watchmen" made $83.2 million dollars in six days. This is not a blockbuster? Only compared to, what, all the other movies in the theaters now? It scored $47 million more weekend dollars than its nearest competitor on its opening weekend. It has already made more than half as much as a class act like "Slumdog Millionaire" has in 17 weeks. It had the third-largest March opening ever, and the sixth-largest of any R-rated film in history.

It's true that movie execs hoped for even higher figures, because the movie companies take diminishing returns as theater runs continue. But if this is failure, we should all fail like that.

As for longevity, that's dicier and we'll see how things pan out. It's way over many more people's heads, I am sure, than whatever number will see it as "cliched." But its long-time fan base will see it multiple times, (despite the discomforting display of penis). Brilliant marketing got it here;, now, word of mouth will become more important to its ultimate fate.

For me, seeing it was both satisfying and a little frustrating. To even bite this story off was audacious, and the presentation and choices of what to include were well-done, but I missed seeing the death of Hollis Mason and the "heat" paying a visit to Dan Dreiberg's brownstone. I also wish they'd stuck with the conclusion of Rorshach's "turn" instead of altering it. Some were disturbed by the modification of the ending, but it made enough sense in the total story context not to quibble with it, I thought.

It really wouldn't surprise me to see other properties with long-time fanbases of their own, such as Wolverine or Star Trek, ultimately do better this year for escapist entertainment. But I expect that "The Watchmen" movie version, like the story it's derived from, will also have staying power as a money maker. I believe the movie version will follow the comic book story in more than just faithful rendering, and become an enduring cult classic, at least.

'Watchmen' conquers box office

06:48 AM PDT on Monday, March 9, 2009

LOS ANGELES - "Watchmen" clocked in with $55.7 million in ticket sales to claim the top spot at the box office, making director Zack Snyder's comic book adaptation about a team of twisted superheros the biggest opening of 2009 so far.

Still, it was not quite as big as the $70 million take of Snyder's "300" in 2007.

Dan Fellman, head of distribution for "Watchmen" studio Warner Bros., said it was unfair to compare the two films.

"They're two different movies," Fellman said Sunday. "This is a movie that runs two hours and 45 minutes. That really only leaves the exhibitor with one showing a night. If you have an 8 o'clock show, the next show is at midnight. So with essentially one show a night, I think this is outstanding."

Fans of the subversive comic book series by writer Alan Moore and illustrator Dave Gibbons waited years for Snyder's big-screen version. The anticipation was complicated last year when Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox fought over who owned rights to the $125 million film. The studios eventually settled in January, keeping the March 6 opening intact.

Many "Watchmen" enthusiasts raced to IMAX theaters to see the exploits of Dr. Manhattan and company on the bigger screens. Greg Foster, chairman and president of IMAX Filmed Entertainment, said the movie sold out on all 124 IMAX screens it was playing on during the weekend and was the second largest opening in company history behind another superhero film, 2008's "The Dark Knight."

With no other new releases to compete against, "Watchmen" easily bumped off "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail," which had held the top spot the two previous weekends. The Lionsgate comedy took in $8.8 million, good for second place, according to studio estimates Sunday. 20th Century Fox's "Taken," starring Liam Neeson, took the No. 3 position with $7.5 million. ...

http://www.king5.com/movies/stories/NW_030909MOV-AP_watchmen-box-office-JM.1a77cd17.html --------------------------

I'm in no position to issue decrees, but for any writer who's not familiar with this story, they'll find a lot of great technique in "The Watchmen," that is, if they're not too jaundiced.

I think Thomas has a good point there. I wonder, does your "ending" for movie one point back to the situation found at the beginning in some way? Most often, that makes for an effective ending. But, is there anything in the early pages that still needs a full resolution by the end? Maybe that could "subtly" recur as a concern in the otherwise "happy" ending you're tentatively planning for Part 1. So you might have an apparent resolution of the main conflict, with some element that still calls for a sequel to find out how it will be dealt with.

We're all aware of the "It's 'Star Wars' meets 'The Sound of Music'!" - type of pitch. And we all know that the idea is king, but execution is everything. Beyond that, does anyone have an actual technique they're willing to discuss on generating saleable movie ideas? Spin a bottle surrounded by paper notes and see what ideas it points to, then spend time trying to flesh out characters and a plot that marries them? Does anyone have some technique that's less random than this example?

1. Not Dead Yet - To regain their independence from their over protective families, a pair of high spirited grannies rebel and embark on an eye opening road trip through America's southwest but find nothing but trouble.

I like "Not Dead Yet" just fine; I think it's very good for that story idea.

2. Life Forgotten - When a group of adult siblings discover unread letters revealing their deceased mother's final wishes for them, they must each contemplate what they could have been as opposed to what they've become.

This one sparks a few notions for me. Depending on how you play out the story, they might in turn give you a fresh idea.

"The Saddest Words" or "It Might Have Been" - these are from a quotation: "For all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been'." - John Greenleaf Whittier -- (or, as I first heard it, "Of all the words in human ken, the saddest are, 'It might have been.'")

"Rediscovering Fire"

"In Our Other Lives"

"Signpost on the Road Not Taken" or "Signpost for the Siblings"

"Mom's Map to Hidden Treasure" or "Our Hidden Treasure" or "Our Lost Treasure Map" - something like one of these, with their suggestion of discovery.

Of course, neither will anyone else, after reading that article. ;-)

Yes, fair warning, a movie that begins with a masked vigilante approaching a murder scene musing, "Dead dog in street, tire tracks across burst stomach..." may not be for everyone.

And if you want a completely ruthless excoriation of your script's weaknesses, try Script Shark. :-)

Ah, well, with the second weekend's estimate, I have to say, "so much for my prognostication for this movie's success." It'll have to make its money back gradually. No doubt it will achieve "cult classic" status, but it isn't going to come anywhere near rivalling "The Dark Knight's" take or longevity in theaters. Now it looks like "Wolverine" and "Star Trek" will probably both beat it as box office draws. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth...

--- Watchmen disintegrated 67 percent to an estimated $18.1 million for $86 million in ten days, trailing all previous superhero movies that debuted in the $50 million range through the same point. For perspective, 300, which Watchmen was oft compared to, fell 54 percent to $32.9 million in its second weekend (for a $129.2 million total), and, among major comic book movies, only Hellboy II: The Golden Army and Hulk had steeper drop-offs. The weekend further cemented Watchmen's status as a movie with much more limited appeal than other superhero pictures, rooted in its non-mainstream source material and its diffuse storyline and marketing. Watchmen's 124 IMAX theaters held a bit better than the rest. They were down 58 percent, accounting for an estimated $2.3 million of the weekend and $9.5 million of the total.

http://www.boxofficemojo.com/news/?id=2563&p=.htm

Yes, it was oddly detached. It was probably so much work to "stage the look" as well as they did that they had nothing left over. The character actions, emotionally, well, they might as well have been filtered as if seen through the eyes of Dr. Manhattan. I think the "relatable" one, for most, is actually going to be Rorschach for many viewers. Uhhh, that may not be a good thing. Hrrrmmm. This project was so grounded in irony and complexity from the start (given its source story), maybe it had to come up short in some way. It would have had to be three long movies to incorporate the entirety of the comic book story. It was based on old Charlton Comics characters in disguise, ("non-mainstream" twice removed) and it used many comic-book conventions in order to examine what they might mean in a "real" world. But, of course, it was set in an "alternate 1985" which makes it a period piece. We all know "that" didn't happen in 1985. All in all, technically, it was a "heroic" try to film something its author said was "unfilmable," but, obviously, many people in the general public are not connecting with it. The idea of super-heroes being outlawed was used to better effect in "The Incredibles." Time worked against them; I didn't agree with every film editing decision they made; for instance, the lovemaking in the floating Owl Ship went on a bit long, I thought, precious minutes wasted. Best thing to do, for sure, is read the graphic novel, and if you loved it, then see the movie. If not, it most likely ain't gonna be for ya. Too bad, though; this is likely to confine the boundaries of creative / thematic risk in these kinds of films within the somewhat safer territory of, say, "Iron Man."

Yeah, the reason the trailers DID excite me was seeing how effectively they captured scenes from the graphic novel. Well, for pure story, the original comic book version is, of course, the richer of the two.

I'll count myself lucky to have not had an experience of being criticized on an unread screenplay in a contest with feedback. I mentioned somewhere else I had some peer "non-reviews" once from non-readers coasting at Zoetrope. Certainly, I've had contest feedback readers who missed points that were clear in the screenplay, points that others noted and appreciated. I've had things I wrote in the script incorporated as "maybe you could try" suggestions. Seems to me "shit" always "happens." It's weary work.

I entered Blue Cats this year for the first time, on some already heavily-redrafted scripts, and the reviewer did read the scripts. There were some unusually flip comments included in the feedback, but attention was paid, the commentary was not without some substance, and I acted on the relatively minor suggestions I received where I thought they made sense. I'll always commiserate with the writers who had poor reads for feedback, though. That's highly annoying, and all the more so when they paid for it.

If it happened, there's certainly nothing wrong with their pointing that out on this board. (But it didn't happen to me. Hail, Mary!)

I've has Barb review a couple of scripts, and she did drop me a line to notify me they had been received.

Besides those two I think I received comparable coverage from industry readers working for the PAGE competition (costs extra besides entry fee, but not exorbitant, as such things go). Each reader has different thoughts and usually overlooks, or has a different opinion on, various aspects of each script, I think.

Well, that's an awful critique -- not. I thought the guy who started this thread was going to post the one he was complaining about, but it's a week later and -- where is it?

The critiques for my two entries (first time I've entered BlueCat):

What did you like?

This is a lively script that hits the ground hard and races out of the gate at a tremendous pace. It's rather technical but I like technical scripts. The dialogue is the 'just the facts ma'am' type but it works within the suffocating, militaristic confines. I liked the story, plotting, and most of the characters. The dialogue was good but there were a few moments where the characters were speaking the subtext. We'll tackle that below.

There's a lot of action in the script and some of the pages are quite dense. If you really wanted to you could cut out some of the detail to make it a bit shorter script. Here's an example from page 51, you write, "Looking around furtively, he kneels and employs a socket wrench to open a panel, revealing the pump's inner works." You could say, "His eyes dart then he kneels and unscrews a panel, revealing the guts of the pump." Ask yourself do you need "employs a socket wrench." And is the hourly wage of a wrench? Ha, ha. Just kidding. Here's one more where I think you can save about a full line. You wrote at the top of page 52, "McIntire steals into the empty monitor room. Sits at the console. Clenches his fist at what he sees. He rewinds tape on one of the monitors and locates the President coming on Gentry's office monitor. Freeze-frames it." How about, "McIntire enters, sits at a console, clenches a fist at what he sees on a monitor. He rewinds tape, locates the President coming on Gentry's office monitor. Freeze-frame." You probably don't need to state it's the monitor room as that should be in the slugline. You could probably trim at least 5 pages from this script if you were diligent. Being concise in your writing will make you a better writer.

It's a good thing Pam is a psychologist/psychiatrist or whatever. Why don't they just neutralize her and get some other shrink? Seems very convenient. She knows too much, she should have been disposed of immediately. I'd like to see a lot more jeopardy here. This is the big decision in the script. Does she live or die? A gun is pulled and she pleads for her life. I'd like to see something messy. Maybe there is a struggle and she is shot in the side or injured in some way.

What needs work?

Most of your dialogue in the script is quite good. But there were a few places where the characters were telling too much or narrating more than necessary. Writing dialogue is one of the hardest things to do in a screenplay. You don't have much space to do it in and you have to say it in the fewest words. Then you have to ask, does it advance the plot, the character arc, etc? Here's an example of Regina talking on page 42, "You know what? This isn't about you. We all "die," several times, before the end. And there's no cure. Maybe time will clue you in to that. For now, just know this: our mission is bigger than we are. Way bigger!" Ask yourself, how can she say all this without saying it? And does any of this need to be said. Isn't it sort of implied? Bury your subtext whenever possible. Don't have characters saying exactly what they think, mean, or feel, have them talking around what they think, mean, or feel. Then we, as the audience, will get to participate more deeply in the feelings, conflicts, and motivations of the characters. Look on page 59 for some more subtext with Pam chatting with Will. It's a little too on the nose.

You have a lot of words capitalized that don't need to be. Minor characters shouldn't be capitalized and sounds and objects don't need to be capitalized either. It's an easier read without all the capitalization. Capitalization of sounds and the like is done in a shooting script not a writer's script. Just like you shouldn't put camera angles in a script. That's up to the director. When I see writers capitalizing words other than character names in a script it tells me they learned screenwriting from reading shooting scripts and not writer's scripts. There's a big difference between a shooting script and a writer's script. I recommend getting the book, "The Complete Guide to Standard Script Formats" to learn proper script formatting. Plus, I would triple space between all sluglines as it's easier to pick out scenes. Overall, a very good script. Good luck with it.

------

What did you like?

This script had sort of the feeling of the "The Name of the Rose" starring Sean Connery. It's an excellent flick and one of my favorite religious movies. A curse is laid upon Father Constantine by an old Hag (turns out to be Orlena) on Palm Sunday. A monster is loose on the village. Who or what is responsible? Is it the good father who wakes up naked after "sleepwalking" or is something more sinister stalking the small-minded villagers? Tune in next week for episode four of the amazing, exciting, ultra thriller....

I liked the story and most of the characters. Constantine annoyed me a little at first but he grew on me like an epiphyte. Orleana is quite an interesting character. She's as diaphanous as the King Zephyr. I really liked the imagery in the treasure trove storage room. You have Constantine pull out a skeleton key and unlock a massive door. And more imagery: the hidden gears, the ancient Arab combination lock, the box, and then finally reveal the crown of thorns. Very nice. I like that Leonid brings a gun into the church and one with silver bullets. I had a silver bullet the other day and it was refreshing. I liked Orlena's incantation on page 47 to open the Arab lock. I like how you go from a dream sequence to the real thing with the werewolf and Leonid striking it and almost getting killed. Now that Galen's dead the small-minded town folk will suspect Constantine. And Constantine finally learns Baldessare is behind all of this. It took him a while to put two and two together. Of course he's been hungry like the wolf lately. I like how Constantine teams up with Orlena on page 77 to use the black arts against Baldessare and his evil plans.

What needs work?

Does Leonid have to say 'da' so much? And if you answer 'da' then what can I say. You have a lot of words capitalized that don't need to be. Minor characters shouldn't be capitalized and sounds and objects don't need to be capitalized either. It's an easier read without all the capitalization. Capitalization of sounds and the like is done in a shooting script not a writer's script. I think there are a few too many speeches in the script. Look at page 77 to see what I mean. I sort of laughed when I read Orlena's dialogue at the bottom of the page. It's a little too much of what she is thinking.

Most of the dialogue in your script is fairly good. Having characters open their pie holes and talking is one of the hardest things to do in a screenplay. You don't have much space to do it in and you have to say it in the fewest words. Then you have to ask, does it advance the plot, the character arc, etc? Here's an example of Constantine talking to Philana on page 48, "I was trained from boyhood to guard that crown. Never to say anything, to anyone, about it. To fight for it. To die for it, if need be." Ask yourself, how can he say all this without saying it? I would look for a way that Constantine means all of this without saying this. Bury your subtext whenever possible. Don't have characters saying exactly what they think, mean, or feel, have them talking around what they think, mean, or feel. Then we, as the audience, will get to participate more deeply in the feelings, conflicts, and motivations of the characters. You should ask if this sort of text by Aldo on page 48 is necessary, "Now, you must carry on your part with the priest. Remember what's at stake, for you, and for all your line." It seems very much on the nose. --- I received these Jan. 6. I thought them to be quite accurate and reasonable critiques, with a couple of flip remarks, but nothing offensive or irrelevant. Neither of these screenplays were first drafts.

Every reader notices different things. I acted on the suggestions to produce the current drafts i'm using.

I found feedback from the PAGE competition, Script Savvy, and Barb Doyon to be on a par with this service.

Yeah, it took about 30 years, but the impatient, Greedy Old Pig of a giant finally managed to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. Ah, but take heart, there's still a corpse to feed upon...

Thanks for posting, but...

If I were desperate enough to try this, and "good" enough, by whatever Marvel standards, to be accepted into their program, they'd basically own everything else I ever wrote for ... HOW long, now?...

It may have changed ownership a few times, and I may have enjoyed some of the movies of their characters, but today's Marvel Comics sounds like the same old company that exploited the shit out of Jack Kirby when he created their glory days for them in the 1960s. Marvel can kiss my ass -- not that they asked me, of course.

Your mileage may vary, I suppose.

I own a copy of Dramatica Pro and have tried to use it, but I tend to bog down in it and have never gone the distance with it. "Storymodeling" in it has a cold, abstract, theoretical feel to me. I have bailed out every time, sooner or later. Years ago, I read the opinion that it was better used after writing a first draft, and that may well be.

It doesn't look anywhere near as cool, but in my opinion, considering substance over style, and nuts and bolts common sense vs. highbrow theorizing, a better program to actually help improve your writing (explore and nail characterization, plotting, dialogue, obstacles through writing responses to a querying dialogue) is long-time author/editor Sol Stein's "Fiction Master."

For structuring a screenplay in a single application, either before or as you write one, "Movie Outline" looks very good to me, though I've only looked at the demo. "Contour" can be helpful at sheer structuring; I have used its earlier version, "Totally Write." Celtx, free download, can help you see your scene layout as you're writing, too.

In the olden days, "Collaborator" was a good writing/structuring companion software. It can still be bought, but it hasn't been updated in quite a few years and you can only use it on one computer, its code won't let you install it again.

I don't think much of most of the writing software that's out there, frankly. I've named what I believe are the more useful ones. Character Pro and Quickstory, both built on Treepad, apparently, can be useful, too.

I would economize a little on that:

A mean-spirited cat tries to get rid of the family dog, but they get lost together instead, and find they need each other to make it back home.

This tells us who is the lead character, who is the "antagonist," what the complication is, and what the theme and conclusion will turn out to be. Your logline was already good, IMO, but the more economy you can squeeze out of the words, the easier it is to remember. Robert Kosberg, the "pitch king," says the best logline functions like a punch line to a joke, sticking with you long after you've heard it. When you can get one of those, that's the much-coveted and oft-elusive "high concept," the Holy Grail of would-be Hollywood writers.

Getting a few logline/synopsis hits seems to be the norm on InkTip unless you have some other validation. Win a contest and get the script listed in the winners section of their magazine to improve your luck. Try entering the monthlies, where there are dozens of scripts in contention, instead of thousands, and where you get quicker turnaround on the results.

A house cat (hero) who's jealous of (character flaw) the family dog (opponent) gets them both separated from the family as they move (life-changing event), but must learn to cooperate with his rival with the help of a crow guide (ally) before they can elude would-be captors and find their new home(battle).

This one is based on an article at:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/239112/how_to_write_a_great_screenplay_script.html

So, if a logline reminds someone in Hollywood, the land of a thousand bald-faced remakes, of a previous hit movie, the new proposed movie is doomed to be rejected. Got it.

Evie, you are missing the fact that the Native Americans were massacred and death-marched right out of cotton-pickin' land. If you have to vent here, think about what you're saying, if you want sympathy and sensitivity. As for the feedback stuff, all writers share your frustrations, but you've been given the best possible advice to deal with that right here. So if you're ready to deal with it, deal.

How very welcome, at last a charity that will give to me for a change!

SO -FAAAAAA! (Hollered in Stanley Kowalski wail.)

Oooh, a non-therapeutic encounter group, what'll they think of next?

Wow, you should be. I've only managed a "consider." Congrats and good luck.

Right. Holy crap, if I erupted in dismay every time one of my script submissions was passed on, or I thought a reader should have gotten some point better, I'd have spent my whole life force by now.

with feedback, you always find that no matter how well versed the reader is in screenplay structure and technique, attention and taste, i.e., factors over which we have no control, play a part. And that's one of the several factors that make querying a numbers game. Get rejected, just say "next" and keep moving. It sucks to get a review that's done poorly. Even so, don't "give" "them" the power over your responses.

The Word Made Flesh: When adult siblings gather for their mother's funeral and discover her personal papers, they decide to compete to change their lives to match her grand visions for them.

I'll Scratch Your Back: Two women vying in a corporate rivalry agree to team up against their third competitor, a yuppie male who unfairly smears them both.

I don't know if these are your story elements, but these loglines are based on your ideas. I tried to show what I feel is lacking in your current loglines, a sense of action and resolution.

I just received a letter today telling me my entry is a quarter-finalist. It says over 1600 scripts were entered; 396 move on from here. I'd read complaints about unawarded prizes before, but, as I never expect to be the grand prize winner when I enter a contest, I didn't worry about it.

Oh, yeah, (feeling like Janet Hogate, here, with the post & the immediate 2nd post), this was for the 13th Annual. They say they start taking entries for the 14th Annual on july 1st, 2009. Evidently, I submitted to this one last Oct. 31. This contest often confuses me, too, as they also run The Writers Network contest from the website.

Yeah, good going, Janet. I've entered this contest in years past and, if memory serves me, they've always sent notification letters.

So, "Kill the Cat" is NOT the sequel I mistook it for? No wonder I can't find it on Amazon.com!

Anyway, everyone here has a point. The gurus won't open doors to "magic big paycheck land." The best writers, even those with agents, managers, lawyers, have to write and market their butts off just to stay in the pro screenwriting game.

I think there's some insight to be had from every good book or seminar, though I've read many books and the only seminars I've taken in have been from those recorded on DVD and available for much less than a live one from Creative Screenwriting.

http://creativescreenwriting.com/expodvds.html

If you want some real dramatists' tools to work with, add Jeff Kitchen's advice to your list. There's a five pack of his DVDs covering all the material that's in his book, "Writing a Great Movie." And/or, get the book.

How much you'll get out of any of these things depends mainly on what you're willing to put into the work that comes afterward. I'd rather have a book or DVD that I can re-visit over and over, whenever I feel the need, than a live seminar to attend only to make hurried notes.

It's easier to analyze other people's efforts and let it spark good ideas, i.e., to be a guru, than to come up with it all and brilliantly write it yourself. It certainly doesn't mean these guys'n'gals don't know what they're talking about.

I thought it was worth briefing the board on the content of Marvin Acuna's latest video tip:

Results of a four-month Hollywood tracking study conducted by a literary manager:

170 projects were introduced to the studio system in 4 months.

23 were actually purchased... 13%

7 of these had a major talent attached ... 30%.

22 of the 23 were in the genres of Action, Comedy, or Thriller... 96%

The other one was based on a remake.

Marvin's messages are rather succinct, but I think what he meant was included in the study as "submitted to studios" would not include all the "barbarians hammering at the gates" efforts at submissions studio-paid readers are employed to keep away. I presume these "170" would have probably been REFERRED projects, scripts, treatments, or ideas that were under serious consideration because someone who has some cachet in the industry actually recommended them to someone who could get them at least discussed around the tables. So, defined on these terms, our goal is to somehow write a script that's great enough to withstand ruination by committee, in the action, comedy, or thriller genre, then get a precious referral like that, and your script will have a 13% chance of being bought. Hey, those odds are a lot better than I thought! :-)

Yup, Mr. Mercurio's "Killer Endings" was one of my DVD purchases from CS; I'd recommend that, and/or Drew Yanno's book, "The Third Act," as excellent food for thought on one of the hardest parts of writing a script. What I like best, and find most original about Blake Snyder's "Save the Cat," is the "writer-friendly genre" definitions, which make a lot of sense. I think it's important to distill the wisdom you find and work out your own system of points and charts, whatever helps you work better, faster, and to the point, from the great constellation of screenwriting advice that's out there. On that note, I'll mention Victoria Lynn Schmidt's book, "Story Structure Architect," too, a very handy piece of work.

A script is a business plan, so an outline is a what? -- prospectus? Not sure why you're writing one. If I were asked to write an outline (not treatment) for a potential script assignment, I'd keep it to two pages, or no more than three, using a broad brush approach to the four parts of a story progression. Within that framework, I'd focus on the emotion-evoking events that are supposed to make the audience feel the ups and downs of the story course. If I didn't have at least a chance of an assignment coming from it, I wouldn't write an outline. I'd have 'em read a script.

My online retirement planner says I'm $340,000 behind where my retirement savings ought to be. At least I was about $20,000 closer, before the latest high-level plunder of our society deflated my efforts. On top of that, my pay's been cut recently, too, and yet I'm lucky to have something millions of people lately do not -- a source of income.

In short, it's not hard to see that "adults" have been knocked down a tier or two on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and are getting a tad careful.

I suspect the "kids" have literally less to lose, and they also think their time will last forever. So, while that illusion lasts, they do spend whatever they've got. Hence, the safest bet in a dangerous world would seem to be to target material that will appeal to the 40 million or so people in the country who are between 15-24 years old, while also trying to make something that will "play in Japan."

And yet, as agent Bruce Bartlett wrote in his blog, "What's your competition? As a studio exec. what is your entertainment product competing with? Let's make a list: Broadcast TV Cable TV Video Rentals Video Games Internet .......or hell, the consumer could actually get off their ass and go play basketball, or ride a bike or go check out a sunset — or read a book!"

http://bartlettsscreenwritingtips.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html

So, in this environment, how do you convince anyone their best bet is to make the effort and shell out the money to go to the multiplex? I'm sure it's tougher than ever to know what to plow that multi-million dollar movie budget into any more. And, no, the first impulse of those dealing with that problem isn't going to be to try giving some new writer with no track record a break.

Hey, I've already scoped out our realistic 13% chance of making a sale if someone in the industry refers our project to the insiders. If that doesn't perk one up, what will?

(... Illusions?)

Big success for any of us posting here is to actually make it all the way to a special place called "development hell."

Good luck!

Look. The movie business is part of the economy. All parts of the economy have been hard-hit by the conversion, by some insider sharpies, of financial capitalism into a gigantic Ponzi scheme, which collapsed last fall after seven years of systematic abuse. --- "In the latest challenge to the American movie business, a crucial source of funding for independent films -- sales of foreign-distribution rights -- is rapidly drying up.

For decades, independent movie producers in the U.S. have routinely been able to fund their films by selling the rights to distribute them abroad. If the production featured a big-name actor or director, the rights were often sold before the movie was finished, providing producers with 50% or more of their production budget.

Even movies with top actors or directors are having trouble raising money from the sale of foreign-distribution rights. Above, Johnny Depp on the set of 'The Rum Diary' in Puerto Rico. Below, the official poster at the Cannes Film Festival in May 2008. But today, due to factors ranging from the credit crunch to burgeoning online piracy, even the biggest names aren't always enough to sell an American film abroad. ..."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124018425311033183.html --- See also the story of Brett Simon, Yari Film Group, and the fate of a highly-acclaimed independent film from Sundance 2008, "The Assassination of a High School President."

http://tinyurl.com/dmdqds

(and elsewhere, Google it)

So, the movie business is being hit from both ends, financing and demographics. Bankable stars as not as bankable, budgets aren't as high, "class act" movies are failing to be profitable. Aggregate ticket sales were up early in the year, but getting financing and distribution, or good prices for rights, is harder in this economy. Millions who used to go to theaters now can't afford this once-simple form of pleasure.

I'm not trying to say, "stop writing," or, "don't follow your dreams." But if you want them to ever be more than dreams, better keep an eye on reality. Have a "Plan B" -- or, maybe, just a plan -- for starters.

I assume Joseph Kenny started this thread as a word to the wise. "Adults," even before the big financial bubble-pop, tended to actually go out to the movies a whopping three times a year. Too many other alternatives, easier, less costly. Whatever genre we write in, (assuming we're not trying to make our own movies and avoid bankruptcy in the process), if we only hope to sell our scripts, it's undoubtedly better to be realistic, and write something a 19-year old couple on a date would really, really like to see, enough to make the effort to go buy a ticket. Because the tough sell, (the big-ticket sell to studios), may actually be as, or even more, available than the once relatively easy sell to indies in this world right now. And it'll be a while yet before we're out of the woods... even provisionally.

Ideally, everything should be play, adventure, and discovery. "Make-do" is definitely better than "not do." The few actual filmmakers in our midst know that, I think. I keep wondering about myself and the rest of us, if we'll, somehow, ever find our way vis a vis moviemaking to stop being beggars, and start being choosers.

Well, that's a lot of scripts, and a long, expensive trip...Here's what I know is coming up.

Live events:

August 1 and 2 are the dates for Fade In Magazine's in-person Pitch Festival.

http://www.hollywoodpitchfestival.com/

June 13 and 14 are the dates for the Great American Pitchfest.

http://www.pitchfest.com/

And the Creative Screenwriting magazine's Screenwriting Expo is Oct. 15-18.

http://www.screenwritingexpo.com/

Taking advantage of the world wide web:

June 5, 6, and 7 are the dates for the 2nd semi-annual Online Hollywood Pitch Festival, sponsored by Fade In Magazine. Limited to 100 attendees, you do it from where you are, using a web cam.

http://www.fadeinonline.com/events/hpf-online/

Then, there's Virtual Pitchfest, any time:

http://www.virtualpitchfest.com/

And, similarly, PitchQ:

http://www.pitchq.com/?index

I live a meager 2,200 miles from L.A. I've been there, once, for one other festival where I got to pitch and give a script to an agent, ten years ago. It didn't launch a career, in my case. You would have to meet just the right person, with just the right thing, at just the right time, for that to happen. I hope someone here can give you some better pointers for your planned August trip; all I know about is the 1st and 2nd of the month for pitching. Meantime, you could get a copy of Michael Lent's book, "Breakfast with Sharks" and plan a route of lunchtime agent hangouts he provides in the book. Or look up prodcos who've successfully produced movies similar to what you want to pitch and make 3-minute phone calls to pitch them your ideas. They tend to be more approachable that way than the actual studios.

I just let my sub lapse, after a year, because I never had the right thing at the right time. It was worth the tryn though, I think. I might try it again once I have a higher stack of scripts.

I received that email, and felt much the same way about it as you did.

Cynicism has crowded out desperation in my psyche, but I figure that's to my advantage. Given the "unread script" aspect of their approach, this has a fishy smell to me. I would avoid this outfit.

Hey, I just got a second letter today, telling me the other script I entered this year made quarter-finalist as well. I'll take that as a highlight of the day, anyhow! At any rate, it seems as if the contest is still sending out letters.

Hey, Dana, I think it's interesting that you're writing "Rated R" stuff. I'm currently trying to do the same, mainly because I'm simply not interested in writing something "fun for the whole family!" at the moment, and want to explore some stories that deal with the moral void of "primal-driven adulthood in the big city" type of topic. (Even though I do get a big giggle out of Spongebob, myself, that show always sends my wife muttering into the other room if I indulge in watching it.) I'd welcome hearing from you; maybe we could swap a script read sometime if I ever get this particular piece wrapped up.

When there are no new territorial frontiers, the vested interests do find ways to forge profitable frontiers by other means. And, if you can see the Hegelian dialectic at work in such a case, you can call out a "fire" warning on this crowded planet. But in [the little] space [accorded you as an individual], no one can hear you scream.

I have not dealt with them, but I have had come communications with a guy who posts on a LinkedIn screenwriters' board who says he is managed by them; he let me read and give notes on one of his screenplays. He says they show his work to agents, and they pass along suggestions for rewrites to him with an eye to his polished version becoming something they think they can sell. Aside from that, I know they've been around at least a few years.

Yeah, I noticed that, too, though he evidently prompted several of us to post critiques we received from B.C. Ironically, after I trimmed up my two scripts submitted to B.C. in accordance with the previous notes which urged me to simplify descriptions and dialogue, I re-submitted (this is the first time I've tried BlueCats and wanted to take the ride at least a couple of layers deep), only to receive new coverage saying there's "too much going on" (in both scripts) and it was hard for him (?) to understand some parts. I have heard that before, but not uniformly. Lessons learned, to boost your luck, go simple, go easy, find twists mainly on the familiar ruts of the genre you're writing in. Oftentimes, readers seem to be a frazzled and/ or overworked sort. That's not only true of BlueCats. The second time I entered Script Savvy, I received notes suggesting I incorporate elements I not only had already thought of, but I was quite sure I had included those elements in my story already. One must get to the point, if one is going to play this somwhat absurd game, of not only considering whether the reader's right, but also when you believe they've missed something, to chalking it up to one person's opinion on one particular day -- even when you paid some money and it's a disappointing feedback.

The mother of the first little boy who died in Mexico (accd. to CNN website) blames it on factory farming... this would not involve a "farmer" and his family; it's corporate, and involves owners and peons.

If you want a real education about how pork is typically raised in our time, and its truly devastating effects on the environment we live in, read this Rolling Stone article, "Boss Hog."

http://tinyurl.com/vr8vn

As for the intramural stuff between the US and Mexico, well, the USA broke off half of Mexico, including Texas, waging war on the basis of provocative actions against the Mexicans that the Mexicans had the chutzpah to try to fight back against. In our time, NAFTA took the jobs south, where they cost industrial employers about 1% as much as they did in the USA, before GATT whisked them off to Asia, where they cost even a fraction of that. A sea of desperate Mexicans then spilled into the USA. Those suckers work hard, too, make good soldiers, and their demographics are younger than the majority of USofAmericans. Evie, you know about the "Trans Texas Corridor," don't you, product of Bush signing a deal with the Canadian Prime Minister and Mexican president in 2005, a deal they won't call a treaty, since "treaties" have to be ratified by the people's representatives. This involves two interstate-style highways, N. & S. - bound, flanked by truck highways and railroad lines, with an "inland port" already set up in Kansas City. This will cut Texas, and the whole lower 48 US states, geographically in two when it's completed, running from Mexico to Canada. Why do you think our currency is being so degraded? It'll undoubtedly be replaced by a new common currency for the parts of the new superbloc to share. This deal was called "The Security and Prosperity Partnership," or S.P.P. It's not about invasions, it's about dissolution of national borders and sovereignty. (Leave it to the flag-waving champions of private property to deliver a deal like this.) It's kept quiet nationally by the media, (like any number of details about 9/11, for instance), but a lot of Texans are up in arms about it because it's slicing up their ranches and farms. I would be, too, if I were in their shoes, but they're going to be steamrollered by the global imperialists.

The Corridor is being financed via tax-exempt bonds with complex deals basically worked out by the Spanish corporation which is contracted to plan and to run the (toll) road, working with DOTs in the states it will run through as it bisects the USA.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans-Texas_Corridor

This was originally arranged by The Council on Foreign Relations, one of the world-ruling organizations originally spawned by the Cecil Rhodes & "Cliveden Set" power networks in the late 19th and early 20th century. (That phraseology will, no doubt, sound far-fetched to my media-conditioned countrymen, because the well-paid Tee Vee "news" people are careful to keep away from discussing the real power networks of the world -- but, it's the reality, believe it or don't; take your pick, I really don't care.)

Since the global imperialists weren't able to keep as much of a lid on this deal as they would have liked, thanks to the internet and the one national media personality to actually talk about it, (CNN's Lou Dobbs), it looks like they're throttling back to a "gradualist" approach to developing it now.

http://www.corridorwatch.org/ttc/index.htm

There's a lot of internet buzz about the TTC, "NAFTA Superhighway," etc. The following articles give an idea of the shape of the deal, and a taste of the furor that arose among those who learned about it in the previous three or four years:

http://www.democrats.com/node/9267

http://transtexascorridor.blogspot.com/

Governments are now hopelessly in debt to the central bankers, who print their money for an interest fee on every bill. In the wake of the Ponzi scheme and collapse that the "deregulation" bill of goods wrought, the future is more than ever, it seems likely, to fall under corporate management in every way... er, excuse me, "public-private partnerships."

Anyway, keep up the skepical attitude, as it's well-warranted. Just don't lose all heart in the learning process, there's the trick.

It's just the way things work in deciding big-scale matters. The large-scale decisionmakers find democracy inconvenient, and the majority of the population don't participate in it, aren't really interested, take what comes. We'll probably never lose our precious right to gripe, though.

When you have professional screenplay material that a real producer loves enough to commit to, the producer is supposed to pay you an option for exclusive right to peddle the material for a fixed, agreed-upon period of time in the effort to get the army and financing packages put together that making a movie requires. Get that? The PRODUCER pays the WRITER. And here, you're telling us it's essentially the other way around. Yes, sadly, that does make it a scam. Notice how they are are using language like "Research Institute" and "Elite Coverage." They are appealing to the desperation and sense of powerlessness that writers let themselves in for. They have cost-free ways of making you feel hopeful and important. When they get your money, they are getting what they want. They now have you wriggling, hopefully, on their hook, and they want to jerk it into your gaping maw a bit deeper. It's all between consenting adults and perfectly legal. How many times you let them sucker you is purely up to you. My advice? Get out before you damage yourself any further. You'll thank yourself later, and chalk it up to lesson learned.

Dan, to your remark, "I'll have to agree with Ron when he writes: "If they were so successful as writers, why have they abandoned that to wring the money out of your wallet?"...

If you're referring to me, I never said that. I said,

"It's easier to analyze other people's efforts and let it spark good ideas, i.e., to be a guru, than to come up with it all and brilliantly write it yourself. It certainly doesn't mean these guys'n'gals don't know what they're talking about."

In other words, it is easier to look at someone else's work objectively and give good advice than it is to write a screenplay yourself. That was not intended to mean the script gurus' advice is not necessarily valuable to making our scripts more marketable. That is not my position. How much it helps or costs is between the writer and the guru, as consenting adults coming to terms in the marketplace. If someone like Blake Snyder stops writing scripts (has he? I don't even know that for sure) and starts guru-ing, maybe it is because it IS easier, and he's already made his main pile. Maybe it's for other reasons, or a mixture. He seems to be quite accessible; maybe you could ask him by way of his web site.

I will say my approach is to absorb all I can from many books and use the DVDs of lectures rather than personally attending, then just apply the effort to write the best work I can come up with, day to day. But working one-on-one with the experienced and insightful can be of great benefit to a writer, I'm sure. Affordable? That's relative to one's own fortunes. Nothing will ever provide a shortcut, take the place of working hard, or guarantee a writer can even handle success if s/he makes his/her way to that first "lucky break."

See here for more on that topic:

http://www.fadeinonline.com/articles/lost_angels/

Briefcase is fine across a single network or via direct cable connection between two PCs, but across the internet, one of you would need to own a server, or you'd have to establish a remote connection between the PCs, such as VPN (virtual private networking). Consult your "Help" section of Windows for more information.

As an alternate method, you might want to check out http://www.zhura.com/

By the way, as I periodically announce on this board, a link to that site is one among the many resources for writing and screenwriting listed on my website, www.crbrassfield.com/

When visiting, to access these links, hover your mouse over "Menu" at the top left and choose "Screenwriter Research Links" when the menu pops down.

A novel concept, I'm sure.

I've always wondered, just how long do the plebes and the hustlers think starving artists can actually starve?

"The Lord of the Pings"

In a small department of Corpcorp, a young H1B worker named Fredo has been entrusted with an ancient command called the Ping. Now he must embark on an Everquest to the Cracks of Doom and launch a DOS (denial of service) attack in order to save the corporate network from freezing.

And Movie Magic Screenwriter has the iPartner feature, which lets partners work on the script on each others' PCs. The booklet gives advice on configuring the feature in case of trouble (like firewall settings).

OMG...

That link, too, is a loop to their home page, just like what they sent in their email, just like the link on their home page itself.

My instincts are telling me my entry this year got cut, but I'd still like to verify if that's so.

Read this article:

http://www.wordplayer.com/columns/wp37.Proper.Treatment.html

Whoa, I just checked in and learned I had something advance another round in a contest. Thanks, Terry and Irin; I know you both have more impressive achievements than I've managed so far. Thanks to everyone else who's chimed in, too. Most everyone here has always been supportive, and I've tried to do the same.

While I'm surfaced, I'll mention that, while it was never announced on this board, last month one of my entries made "3rd place winner" (of three) at the Tennessee Screenwriters Association contest. I just received the prize check today, which, while no princely sum, is the first cash award I've had from scriptwriting. (Sound of champagne cork popping.)

I've been pretty quiet on the boards of late, because I've given myself more work to do. I hope to announce what some of that is one day, but it's a long road to the finish line, and I'd rather talk about it when I've actually done it.

Wonderful advice from all. I've not made my first no-budget movie, yet, but it becomes a tempting fantasy, at least, after writing and then playing supplicant to people whose job it is to say "no." Check out the Hi-Def DV camera I've been lusting after for the past few months, the Canon AH-X1, or its successor, the Canon AH-X1s.

Hey, it's good to be missed. I'm around, just not as much. Thought y'all might need some relief!

Celtx is wonderful, and you can't beat free.

http://www.celtx.com/

http://www.blakesnyder.com/tools/

In case you meant something other than screenplay formatting software, I'll mention that the Blake Snyder Beat Sheet and another screenplay structuring document, or plotting "template," can be found at the link above.

Youth was wasted on the young. (So typical.) :-)

Excellent advice, Irin. Here's a case study:

"How to Make Your Logline Razor-Sharp"

http://www.jonathancrossfield.com/blog/2008/03/logline-therapy-how-to-make-yo.html

There are various other articles worth reading about writing concise loglines, just Google or Bing "write a great logline" and a half-dozen good articles lead the results.

Here's an extensive online review of it from an indie filmmaker's perspective. Mind you, it does use Mini DV tapes, so it won't be as handy from a workflow perspective. I'm talking gorgeous, I'm talking features, and I'm talking price when I say I lust after that camera.

http://www.microfilmmaker.com/reviews/Issue21/CanonXH1.html

This page shows off the custom presets:

http://www.vimeo.com/846830?pg=embed&sec=846830

CNET's video review:

http://reviews.cnet.com/digital-camcorders/canon-xh-a1/4505-6500_7-31986886.html

Some footage vids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygF-zEr6v2Q

I used Shiptshark once, a long time ago, and received the harshest one page of criticism I have ever received. But, after a while (after I dried my tears), I realized they had a point. One just keeps trying to expand one's insight and keep improving. Feedback is so various from different readers it can be maddening. The quest of the writer is to get some validation from several good sources, then find just one person who's positioned and will to champion the work with professionals and financiers.

I'll second that impression.

I only tried this contest once, a long time ago. Live and learn. I may try again if I ever think I've written a contender for an Academy Award.

Action-franchise movie heroes don't usually have character arcs, though they have "tactical" dilemmas. "Given two bad choices, how do I defeat the enemy?" They seldom have deep moral dilemmas because they're a recurring product who must always live up to the audience's expectations. They don't have to be truly morally good, just technically good enough (witty, fast, tough) to beat the bad guys no matter what gets thrown at them.

Good dramatic protagonists, by contrast, will have a moral dilemma on which their arc hinges. "Given two bad choices, how do I salvage my soul, given the awful decision I have to make?"

Imagine your main character has one strong desire at the outset. It presently emerges that the character also has one terrible fear. In the course of confronting the obstacles presented by the antagonist, the protagonist must deal with their great fear in order to gain what is needed to effectively deal with the moral dilemma they're presented with by the antagonist. In so doing, they learn that what they have most wanted is not what they most truly needed. (To bring up George Bailey again, he learned that saving his home town from financial predation is more important to his heart than whether he realizes his long-time dream of exploring the wider world.) That realization is the launching pad for their "arc."

Then, having "arced," (not necessarily in a gradual way, but sometimes in making a sudden, daring, "electrical" leap in response to a crisis that shows they have transcended their fear, with the groundwork laid by that midpoint realization about having outgrown their desire), they dare make the final confrontation with the antagonist.

How can you draw a contrast between your protagonist's desire and fear? With George Bailey, it was "deep vs. broad," "deep" being "I don't want to be stuck in the pathetic old home town" vs. "broad," "I want to be free, a man of the world." Jim is saying "deep" wins the day; so what is the "deep" part of your character, and how does that contrast with the first drive your character shows?

It sounds like you're exploring "independence vs. interdependence," (as does "It's a Wonderful Life"), so, review the plot and ask how does it support that tension.

Yes, you guys are awesome, and I'll give a shout-out to Mark Familton, whom I "met" via these boards, for his first script, "Dark Matter." I know Mark knocked himself out re-writing his "Descent" script (and finally re-titling it, as well) under the tutelage, goading, Zen-lure, or whatever it was, of Blake Snyder, and it has led to this semi-finalist placement for him.

I'm not likin' Withoutabox too well, myself. And I forgot one of my two scripts stored there, and which I entered into the Champion fray, was an older draft. (Shit). This was only the second time I used Withoutabox; I had forgotten to keep my stuff there current. It wouldn't have happened had I submitted the PDF directly from my PC.

"Life obliges me to do something, so I paint." - Belgian Surrealist painter, Rene Magritte

Writing is a way of shaping and returning form to the world, of making a comment on some version of the meaning of life, of holding a funhouse mirror (your own vision) up to some aspect of life that strikes you as outstanding in some way and saying, "Look at this."

I've always had an artistic impulse, and I gradually realized that the human essences of making art forms, indulging imagination, making inquiry and discovery, the traits of artists and scientists, are the traits that separate the quick from the dead. "The dead" are those who are content merely to receive official/ sacred narratives designed mainly to control them.

While I'm alive... I make my own narratives, so as to give meaning to my own life-derived vision, instead of simply consuming whatever (too often, manipulative bilge) is handed to me to bite on.

So, when I think about it, I believe I have discovered a combative purpose in my writing.

Thanks for asking.

"No, painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war for attack and defense against the enemy." -Pablo Picasso

Thanks for the warning. Run away, run away!

Finally, someone has revealed the secret of screenwriting competition success: "My biggest advice is to always be ready with a perfect draft ready to go." ***** Now, why didn't I think of that?******

There are too many screenplay contests, and quite a few of them seem to be rather crappy for one or more reasons -- high fees, chintzy prizes, extended deadlines, long response times, whacky / no feedback, cancellation of entire contest w/o refund (a.k.a., scamming, e.g., "Big Ticket!"), no publicity, poor/no notifications, no follow-through on promoting the writer. Why not boycott all contests who do any of these things? If they disappeared, so what? There would be five or six screenwriting contests left, and the world would be a slightly better place.

I'm writing an epic called "Gone with the Chick."

I think you're exactly right, Terry.

Much the same as Bobette for me, too.

Bobbette. Sorry.

Holy crap.

TTTW seems to score higher with "users" at imdb than with the critics' roundup at Rotten Tomatoes. So, what's wrong with all them hard-hearted, skeptical critics?

I want to see "District 9," may see it over the holiday weekend. I remember that, when seeing the previews last year at the theater, for the first few seconds, I thought someone had made a documentary on the plight of the ghettoized Palestinians under Israeli oppression that was actually going to air in theaters. Then I saw the alien stuff, and, of course, seeing that it was sci-fi, it made more sense what I was actually seeing in an American movie theater. Well, it still sounds like a movie with some brains behind it.

G.I. Joe? Aside from the original, poseable, 12" doll of a regular G.I., that stuff never seemed like more than jingoistic nonsense to me, part of the preparation of pushbutton gamers-as-warriors recruiting campaign waged from the 1970s on. No brains in that game. I'd rather wait for "Iron Man 2" to see Iron Man style action.

Why didn't you give "Joe" a miss and see "Inglourious Basterds," or was that in last week's report, and I just missed it?

I wouldn't put you through that. I'm gonna see it today. Thanks.

Aaaannnnnd, it didn't disappoint.

I didn't say that. I don't know. Let me recommend, however, another early work, Tarantino's script and Tony Scott as director: "True Romance."

I remembered you, Actor, and you, too, Mr. Daly. In a hit-and-miss year among the few contests I've entered, I'm surprised and pleased to find myself listed in this illustrious company this evening. Congrats to all, of course!

The only "security alert" I saw was that the web page wants to run a QuickTime video plug-in.

The site didn't arouse my tingling Spider-sense, nor any high hopes.

You always take a(n even bigger) chance with the new outfits, it's true. I foolishly entered a new contest this year, which was out of character for me. And, wouldn't ya know, its site vanished from the web a couple of months ago. We're about a week shy of the submission deadline, right now, I think... Things must have gone pretty well for those "contest" organizers.

Probably no harm in heeding the voices here and waiting a while.

Superman...

(kidding... sorta)

Yeah, Bobette's Blog with Four Movie Fridays, baby! Reports from the scene! I'm there! Well, actually, I'm here, but you know what I mean...

And William Bienes - "It's a Big Top World," too. :-)

Desmond sleeps peacefully, boxers half-covered by rumpled sheet.

Ala'Lee studies him from the love seat. She touches his shoulder.

Ala'Lee Desi wake up. Desmond, wake up.

He wakes with a start, fumbles for his glasses.

Desmond What? Where the hell am I?

Ala'Lee Morning. Remember me?

Desmond What time is it?

Desmond stretches, scratches his crotch.

Ala'Lee glances at the bulge, darts up, hurries to the kitchen.

Ala'Lee Six thirty. I, I cooked breakfast.

Desmond ambles towards the kitchen.

Desmond I don't normally sleep till dawn.

Ala'Lee won't look at his body.

Ala'Lee I put some fresh towels in the bathroom. I'll set the table on the balcony while you clean up.

Desmond Can I get a hug from my new wife?

Ala'Lee is trapped.

Ala'Lee I don't think that would be a good idea.

Hey, I didn't write that, I just rewrote it. I'm learning to lean up my own stuff, too, so don't sweat it. Just make it through a draft and look for ways to cut when you make the subsequent passes. Make it read like it has Reader Glide TM sprayed on it and the poor, tired, overworked reader will automatically like you better. Besides, it gives your 120-page story a better chance at coming in at 108 pages, for which the reader will also like you all the more.

Aside from lean, look for logical. You can say a little more in main character introductions, but aside from those, try to write just what we can see and hear. If your character's wearing boxer shorts, we don't see that if they're covered by a sheet. So I tried to show 'em boxers and have a sheet, in a few carefully-selected words.

Then, there's the dramatic impact, often helped by a little suspense, eh? There at the other end, "we're only married on the piece of paper," is exposition, and I also thought that was a good bit to cut. Either the audience knows that due to action that went before, or they'll want to find out why "it's not a good idea" for them to hug and kiss, and they'll find out in due course with some later action. Removing those words helps keep 'em on the hook.

Get the words down first to capture your ideas, and make all the tightening decisions as you go back over it later.

1) In some of the feedback for my "Eclipse" script -- (first draft completed in summer of 2007, only weeks before I first heard of Stephanie Meyer and the "Twilight" series, one of which, of course, uses that same title) -- I was "reminded" that people only turn into werewolves at the full moon. In this case, I was deviating precisely because I had done enough research to learn some of the folklore about werewolves to gain freedom from that notion.

Generally speaking, it has traditionally been some sort of sorcerous object such as a belt, or a blasphemous ritual that transforms a person into a were-being. It was the popular Lon Chaney movies which popularized the "involuntary transformation only at the full moon" notion. Later movies, perhaps starting with "An American Werewolf in London," a charming film, began to transplant facets of vampire lore into lycanthrope -- a person becomes a werewolf because s/he has been bitten by a werewolf. Right.

2) I remember being disappointed when Mina Harker in "The League of Extraordinary Getlemen" saw herself in the mirror and stood on the sub deck in daylight, breaking, I believe, two rules at once. If any fictional vampire abided by Bram Stoker "Dracula" canon for vampires, it ought to be Mina Harker, who springs from that novel.

Re: 1) - people see according to their frame of reference. They are more familiar with modern movies than centuries-old folklore and judge my werewolves by the modern Lon Chaney tradition.

Re: 2) Writers have probably worn out the same old bag of supernatural tricks that was fresh and fascinating when Bram Stoker composed "Dracula." Francis Ford Coppola gave that story the best treatment ever since "Nosferatu." Yet, writers still want to milk the vampires for more (often cheap) horror. Are they freshening the genus or weakening it by breaking these rules? You decide. For me, the more divorced they are from "Dracula" lore, the more I forgive them living (?) by other rules. But the more like normal people they are, living large by day, seeing themselves in mirrors, etc., the more magic they seem to lose. It's almost like, what if an elf decided not to live in the woods and took up public relations for a career. Vampires work best for me when they strike a familiar contrast, like nobles with their serfs; Count Yorga in the 1970s was elegant and clean, while his newly-created vampires were dirty from digging out of their graves and acted rather direct and uncouth with their victims, like ghouls.

3) I, the penniless, no-stakes amateur screenwriter, am not allowed the same freedom as highly-paid professional screenwriters, even when I do my research and they probably don't do theirs? Oh, cruel world!

Re: Inglorious Basterds

Only a master dramatist can produce suspenseful scenes like the opening interview scene, and its outcome.

And, once again, as he has so often, Tarantino produces a scene where a character makes just one decision too many, which results in his -- this time, her -- own violent demise.

Agreed. I mark the ones that make me feel that way off my list and don't enter them any more.

I doubt if the following two guys' attitudes is uncommon among successful screenwriters.

I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script by Josh Olsen, screenwriter, A History of Violence

"I will not read your fucking script.

That's simple enough, isn't it? "I will not read your fucking script." What's not clear about that? There's nothing personal about it, nothing loaded, nothing complicated. I simply have no interest in reading your fucking screenplay. None whatsoever."...

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/archives/2009/09/i_will_not_read.php

SciFi Writer David Gerrold Reacts to Olson's "I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script"

"Josh is being way too polite. The only proper response when an amateur attempts to hand you his manuscript, his screenplay, his unpublished novel, his short story, his treatment, his outline, his notes, is to take an axe to his laptop, follow him home, burn down his house, and salt the ground."...

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/archives/2009/09/scifi_writer_da.php

I've tried several sources of feedback over the years. Some "get it" about what you're trying to do, some don't. Some have helpful remarks to point out your weaknesses and make suggestions on other approaches to try, some don't. Etc.

Barb is a reader with comprehension. She understands. She knows what a script ought to have in it. Shop and compare. Those of us who have come to respect her insights have done so on this basis, I feel confident. I've seen coverages of other writers' work costing $500 that is somewhat wordier, but certainly no more genuinely helpful, in a tough but fair, insightful but constructive way, than that offered by Barb Doyon. I'm glad she's out there to help us evolve toward our goals -- without ripping us off.

And, Janet H. -- I'm left unclear... did you read the first article at the link? It does include an explanation of what the writer means, i.e., why he won't read our (The Unrecommended's) fucking scripts. (And, did you know that "A History of Violence" was adapted from a "graphic novel" story?)

Hmmmm. And now I have the germ of an idea for a new Hollywood horror movie... "The Unrecommended." This board can be so inspiring!

There's also "How to Write for Television" by Madeline DiMaggio. That's the only book on the subject I've read.

Among the advantages in writing for TV, rather than features, is that there's more, and closer to steady money in it, so an agent will hustle more for you, (if you can get one). The scripts are shorter and tighter, though the deadlines surely must be, too. But you're often working as part of a team of writers, all trying to make an episode and a series succeed. And you can actually get rich in that path, too, if you make it to being a showrunner of a successful series.

Congrats, fellows. My two entries washed out of this one.

The way they do things also confuses me. I made two entries (late last year, I think) to the 13th Annual. Received quarterfinalist notification letters on both, was ID'd for one of them on web page. Name appeared later as a 13th Annual semifinalist on web page; no more letters, though, so don't know if it's for one, the other, or both? I don't worry about these things by now, but I keep notes of what I've entered, and I do check up on it from time to time. I could use some clarity on Fade-In, too.

Can't help but notice those poetically-titled are all old classic movies, Janet. "A Clockwork Orange" dates from the early '70s, the others were older. I didn't check to see if they're all adaptations of already-popular books or stage plays, but I noticed that at least many of them were. Factor in, as well, that Hollywood studios have gone corporatized and aspiring prodcos have to suck up to the corporate Hollywood mentality of today.

Good thread, people. Enough time's passed that I'm seeing the flaws in my own most recent finished scripts. Getting leaner in plot, cast, description and dialogue, and leaving more for implication by the actors (perhaps risky territory for the understanding of overtired readers, but I consider it important for film) is what I'm trying for. I'm now trying a new trick with myself. I'm pretending that anything I write in the script, I'm going to have to direct it myself, and that the finished film has a big audience just waiting to see it. Just believing that "the buck stops here" feels like it's having an impact on my working process.

Excellent scholarly work, Joseph. The big, life event resonance of those titles is what I meant when I used the phrase "poetically titled," and you nailed down the cultural/ historical details behind that notion. Thanks for taking the time.

Now... anyone for "Paranormal Activity?" :-) (Beats "Ghost with the Wind," I suppose.)

Another great thread, you guys. A newbie sifting through here could glean much wisdom, and concentrate his or her money in some of the best places that exist to help us. I think the secret's out about Script Savvy, for instance. The internet does look to be providing us with more ways to pitch work. Many of us have also figured out that contests don't give us any more than a little temporary bragging rights, as a rule, but they provide a certain kind of audience validation you can use when pitching. The thing to do is make a wisely-targeted budget and stick to it.

I wrote on another board long ago that writers need to be their own agents as much as possible. Our times bring an incredible din of chatter and it's harder to impress anyone, though at the same time the networking possibilities are opening up quite a bit for people with common interests to pool their resources. Sometimes, I think that's what some of the people who post here should do, though that might be too big a test of the egos involved.

I'm pretty well convinced that nowadays, getting management representation with someone who "gets" your work and works with you to help make it saleable, then can hook you up with a well-connected agent, is one way to angle your efforts.

But the main question is, while working any and all angles, how much are you really willing to leave your own would-be career in the hands of others, especially studio readers whose job it is to say "no." I salute Irin and Paula for making the investments, extending their craft, and filming their own work. So, I'm studying up on what is involved in micro-budget filmmaking as well as the great big hurdle of distribution. May give it all a try myself, one day. Writing my first script that can be done "on the cheap" now; we'll see...

Hey, the sets may have been beyond cheesy, and the plot utterly bizarre, but I loved all that conga dancing and Danny Elfman 30s-style musical score in "The Forbidden Zone."

I had to visit the Rotten Tomatoes link supplied by Paula and breeze through the "Worst 100 Movies of All Time." (I can't believe "Batman and Robin" didn't make the list. There must have been some bribery in that $200 million budget.) Anyway, it puts any mistakes some of us may have made into perspective.

That's a great honor. Pat yourself on the back for a tremendous achievement, and, yes, please do keep us posted.

It seems to me you're playing it smart, James. At the very least, it can't hurt.

"Only the aspiring screenwriters who don't want to write come here to see what's going on.'

Dan Gomez agrees.

Therefore, logically, Dan Gomez is an aspiring screenwriter who doesn't want to write, who comes here to see what's going on. Have a nice weekend, too, Dan.

I read that they drained off the "social comment" part of "Fame" for this remake, too. It figures. Don't wanna rock this peachy-keen, Orwellian boat as it sinks...

Isn't it a double-edged sword? A whole string of bombs for these prodcos may mean the musical as a genre sinks from sight for another generation. At any rate, I don't foresee a string of musical bombs leading studio execs to suddenly say, "Oh, God, we're losing millions. Oh! I know! Why don't we call that Janet Hogate?"

From all I can gather from my perch, Hollywood studio (corporate) execs will continue to favor anything that's been successful before, to anything and anyone new. When it comes to green-lighting projects, it isn't all about that almost-unimportant ingredient called taste, or even about the much more crucial relationships that have helped the members of successful circles attain their status. It's also about obtaining financing, if anything at all. Capital ain't for everybody; most of us are here to help supply it, not to obtain any.

So, "Barbie" is just the ticket; after all, it's a familiar, popular icon to generations of women and girls. Wow, what an asset! Mental real-estate! --a "pre-existing condition," which is a good thing in this realm. The past is prologue, so "Barbie" might be worth risking millions of dollars on.

And you don't have the legal rights to portray Barbie, even if you wanted to. A "gunslinger" will be selected from the eager, mostly also-starving ranks of the WGA to hack it out.

Still, the fact that these musicals are appearing at all means that there are some production companies currently willing to produce musicals. If you want to beat your .0002% odds of selling a sceenplay, why not write a query and a pitch, practice while getting the numbers of those prodcos, and call them to see how your idea is received? Some of them may not talk to writers at all. But, it they will, well, they have the connections you lack, and maybe, if they want to try again after these bombs, they can run a "fresh" idea up the flagpole.

There's the real bottom line.

Sure, I just think it needs to be done with a realistic attitude. I believe anyone who thinks "Hollywood" organizes the contests in hopes of finding a good script to buy is dreaming. You enter contests to find out if your work can advance past hundreds, or thousands, of other entries, for starters.

However, sometimes producers are involved in running contests, and that can be a good thing. Sometimes you get feedback from prodco moonlighting readers, and that can be a good thing. If you do well, you get a sense of how your work is seen against that of the other entrants, in which case, the more, the merrier.

Sometimes you get a dollop of recognition. Sometimes you get ripped off. Sometimes you have your work posted to the web, as if giving your script away to the world was some kind of honor, or a way of attracting a buyer. Of course, it isn't. Part of entering contests is getting to know what it's worth to you, to have an anonymous pat on the back or to have something to show your friends and relatives with internet connections. If you can be content with those kinds of things, do the people out there ever have a bunch of contests for you!

So, the trick is to figure out which ones are worthwhile and enter them, perhaps after getting some great extra-contestual feedback and acting on it, to increase your chances of winning or being a finalist. Placing well, by itself, won't "sell" a script, but it does give you some bragging rights when you're trying to get someone who could, conceivably, either buy it or hire you to write something for them, to induce them to read your work.

Given those parameters, sure, it can be worth it, as Stephen is proving.

But I do think the only reason producers read some contest winners is because they're afraid the script might have been "the next big thing," and they might have been ablt to produce it, themselves, had they only read it. So they read it. It's good for aspiring screenwriters when they can get anyone who might help their career to read their work; a few contests can possibly do that.

To never go beyond entering contests, though, is to volunteer to stay in a playpen, a case of arrested development, so to speak. That's undoubtedly the impression at least some of the trash-talkers posting on this board have of us all.

Moviebytes can help people determine which contests give decent feedback and which can lead to industry contacts. You want kudos from those, if any, and after you get your feet wet determining the lay of the land, if you're wise, you say, devil take the rest, which is most of them.

Write a strong story that wins at least one contest, AND make it for a low budget production. Then list it there, and buy a spot in the Inktip magazine's contest winners section. Under any other conditions, your script will most likely get only simple logline reads. That may be thrilling the first time it happens. Even so, you'll definitely be blase about it by the hundredth time.

Wow, you're burning 'em up lately. Congratulations once AGAIN! 'Bout time you started soaking us gullible hopefuls by offering your paid script doctor services, sir!

Interestingly, the market may not be that hot for more thrillers at the moment, according to yesterday's Film Specific Newsletter. Excerpt:

"I was speaking to a sales agent a few days ago who is prepping for AFM [American Film Market] and he mentioned to me that there seems to be too many Thrillers out there right now.

What? I thought buyers WANTED to see Thrillers??

Well we came to the conclusion that first of all, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. For the simple reason of supply and demand. For example, if all of a sudden the market is flooded with low-budget thrillers, then it lessens the value they have in the marketplace and buyers see them as a dime a dozen.

We also came to the conclusion that in order to stand out in the crowded marketplace of low-budget Thrillers you need to have some kind of special 'twist' that sets you apart, whether that means cast, or special effects, or unique and currently relevant story line, etc.

And one other trend that this sales agent commented on was films being submitted to him that straddled too many genres at once. For example, it can be a deal killer if your film is neither Thriller, nor Horror and instead is peppered with elements of each. Stay true to one genre if possible so you will attract buyers that are looking for that specific kind of product. If you try to appeal to buyers by making your film a Thriller/Horror/Sci-Fi pic, you will risk appealing to no one."

For the benefit of any fledgling filmmakers who might be reading this thread, the AFM website is:

http://www.ifta-online.org/afm/home.asp

Scoggins Report Says:

Spec scripts which found sponsors in Hollywood this year: 388

Spec scripts which sold: 62

Percentage of total: 16% ---------------------- Specs which "went wide": 336

Of these, how many sold: 17

Percentage: 5%

------------------

Genres sold: number of spec scripts

Action: 12 Comedy: 19 Drama: 7 Sci-Fi/ Fantasy: 6 Thriller: 17 -----------------

Studio Buyers: number of spec scripts

CBS Films 2 Disney 2 Dreamworks 3 Fox 2 Fox Atomic 2 Fox Searchlight 1 Lionsgate 2 MGM 1 Paramount 3 Screen Gems 2 Sony 5 Sony Animation 1 Universal 5 Warner Bros. 5

-----------------

Other buyers: number of spec scripts

Appian Way 1 Alcon 1 Beloved 1 Chockstone 1 Dimension 1 The Film Dept. 1 Gold Circle 1 Imagine 1 Intrepid 3 Mandate 1 MRC 1 Montecito 1 National Lampoon 1 New Regency 1 Relativity 3 Reliance 1 Reliant 1 Sidney Kimmel 1 Starz Media Anim. 1 Summit 1

-------------------------

Sellers (Agents): Efficiency

Alpern Group 1/1 100% APA 2/27 7% Bohrman 1/9 11% CAA 12/32 38% Endeavor 5/7 71% Gersh 2/9 22% ICM 7/28 25% Kohner 1/2 50% Original Artists 3/7 43% UTA 10/28 36% WMA 8/17 47% WME 2/17 12%

------------------------- Sellers (Managers): Efficiency

3 Arts 1/3 33% Abstract 2/6 33% Anonymous 1/8 17% Art/Work 1/2 50% Benderspink 3/10 30% Brillstein 1/7 14% Category 5 1/1 100% Circle of Confusion 2/13 15% Epidemic 1/1 100% Gotham Group 1/4 25% H2F 1/8 13% Hung 1/2 50% Industry 1/5 20% Justin Silvera Mgmt 1/1 100% Kaplan/Perrone 4/11 36% Luber/Roklin 2/4 50% Madhouse Ent. 1/1 100% Management 360 1/4 25% Marty Shapiro Mgmt 1/1 100% Mosaic 1/3 33% Principal 1/6 17% Principato/Young 2/7 29% Radmin 1/2 50% Rain Mgmt Group 1/1 100% Tom Sawyer Ent. 1/2 50% Underground 2/5 40%

WGA says if it costs under $5 mil. to make, it's "low budget." Anything over that is "high budget." It doesn't have to cost upwards of $50 mil. to be high budget, in other words.

Here are links to a couple of sample movie budgeting templates that might help you figure out your own perspective:

www.makingthemovie.info/2007/03/free-film-budget-template.html

www.winnipegfilmgroup.com/uploads/forms/WFG_Budget_Template.pdf

Hey, quit talking about me as if I'm not even here!

Well said, Mr. Duncan. It's like the difference between having a style, like those writers you cited, or "working in a style," like all the Tarantino wannabees with their Tarantinoesque dialogues.

Phrases. We need phrases, Janet. :-)

I submitted a couple of scripts back in March and received a fine critique of one of them in September. They did not make me a mgt. offer, but they asked my permission to list it on their board. I figured that was something, at least; I know from other writer conversations that doesn't happen with everything submitted to them. Maybe, eventually, they'll send some feedback on the other script I submitted.

I wonder if it's the same XYZ whose name I've seen all over the place taking on scads of writers as clients for his mgt. services the past couple of years.

Did I say anything about choppy phrases? No, I simply asked about phrases, meaning, what exactly did they say that was rude? "Your mother cooks socks in Hell," for example...

Trust your feelings, Mike. It's going to be a low-budget prospect that pulls the prize. At least, that's my feeling. I've concluded that those of us looking for our "in" need to try to cover the map when it comes to budgets.

I plunked down for this software and I do like it, with qualifications. It has some annoying flaws in the script tab that will pop up randomly when it comes to keeping characters, scene headings and action separate, etc. It's not in the class of other programs I've used, like Movie Magic or Scriptware, when it comes to automatic element handling. One little slip and you've got some crap on your hands that you have to scrape off, repeatedly.

Also, if you buy this program, you'll need to read the manual first. When you set up your steps, in the Script view, you'll see the Outline steps you've established first in the right panel. Don't just keep typing in the script view when you're ready to move into the next step. Double-click the next step in the right panel, and then type that part of the script.

However, I wanted this program to keep me in one application instead of bouncing among three to five apps while I write a script, and it accomplishes that. I intend to keep going with it.

I'm going to right a script about serching for my soal. I bet I can sale it for a million dolars.

Standing by themselves, none of those remarks are very helpful, that's for sure. Did the reader elaborate, or leave it at that?

Movie Outline exports to TXT, RTF, PDF, HTML, or MO reference (basically, this saves structure and feel factor). You can choose what to export: outline; script; notes; character profile; character arc; dialogue spotlight; feel factor; or story tasks.

So the question for Final Draft would be, what format does it import the best?

Yeah, that was pretty much it.

Janet, what it boils down to is that you obviously believe fiercely in your script, which means you probably put a lot of work into it. But you are seeing it from an internal subjective viewpoint, whereas others are seeing it from external subjective viewpoints. The job of readers is to find fault and issue rejections unless they are positively swept off their feet by something they think can also make their bosses tons of money (these are not necessarily the same factors). Then, maybe they'll grant a cautious "consider" and it gets tossed on a pile of scripts that other readers look for reasons to throw away.

If you are right, and they are wrong, it's up to you -- and those whom you can mobilize to do your show, as a stage play, or video DVD, or what have you -- to prove that you are right.

The only way to really do that is to stage the show and make money with it. Isn't it?

If it were easy, as they say, everyone would be doing it. But it isn't. Aside from a myriad of logistics, cost itself is daunting. If you were to shoot a 90-minute hi-def video, simply getting it transferred to a single 35-mm film print would cost you about $25,000. Never mind the costs of cameras, lights, stands, mics, props, sets, cast, catering, insurance... Producers and directors are under duress to save money, yet, typically, movies still end up costing tens of millions of dollars to make.

As for being a writer, what a way to go about flagellating yourself! Only about .00362% of all the speculative scripts written are finding champions in Hollywod, and fewer than a fifth of even those are finding buyers nowadays.

I'd say the upshot is that if you can't get past the dragon-infested moat and through the foot-thick stone walls and iron gates, try to find ways to draw your target out of the castle, to you.

Well, Mr. Kenny, the ISA email today says YOU are the Exposurama grand prize winner, with "The Swimmer Manuscript." What do you have to say for yourself?

You are, indeed.

What a pity.

Other writers here are having better successes than I am. And you post more here than I do. For whatever reason.

Voices of experience agree: Go low budget if you want a prospect for any action from Inktip listings. Otherwise, you might get a few curiosity reads, but that'll most likely be "it."

Ditto what Mike and Irin said. This is one of the few worthwhile contests, and definitely use the feedback option. I've done it twice. I found the feedback much more insightful for one than for the other, but them's the breaks. Donna does a difficult job well, in what you'll see is a good bargain if you survey the field.

Nobody cares until production time. If it doesn't outright prevent your script from being purchased, then it becomes a huge deal because of royalty fees involved.

Why? "It's only a song," right?

The music publisher has to give consent. Rights have to be negotiated with original record companies and assignees for soundtrack albums. Record companies have to pay re-use fees equal to current union rates to everyone involved in making the recording. Original artists may also have contract stipulations restricting how the music may be used; that has to be determined and worked out. Producers have to get assistants and a team of lawyers and accountants involved in settling such various issues, and have plenty of moolah and/ or negotiating power to grease a lot of skids before a well-known pop song can be used in a movie.

In short, that song you have in mind better be integral to what they're going to look at as a great script that they're willing to bet is a moneymaking film (lo, a miracle, in itself)... otherwise, you're cutting your own throat, basically. at best, it will, indeed, be looked on as a "suggestion for a type of song" for business reasons.

The WGA's Minimum Basic Agreement defines low-budget as:

"LOW BUDGET - Photoplay costing less than $5,000,000"

Source:

http://www.wga.org/uploadedFiles/writers_resources/contracts/min2008.pdf

This would be for a low budget STUDIO film.

As writers, you should also know what the WGA says about minimum rates for low-budget INDIE films. (Total budget, less than $1.2 Mil.) This agreement is used if the prodco wishes to be known as a WGA signatory, while making a low-budget film.

http://www.wga.org/uploadedFiles/writers_resources/lbaagreement08b.pdf

The agreement is to pay the writer the MBA minimum, with some extra allowed deferments for the producer, and a bit more rights as sole writer for the scribe, on the project than a studio deal. Be advised that the Minimum Basic is not that fortune you're dreaming of making as your big deal in screenwriting, and a substantial amount is allowed to be deducted from that for "first-time" writers, as well.

Also be advised, producers of such films are apparently the primary, if not only, shoppers at Inktip. This doesn't make them bad or good moviemakers, any more than it makes you a bad or good writer. But, it is an indication that you need to have small casts, few locations, and minimal-to-no special effects included in scripts you really hope to sell by way of Inktip.

Lessons learned, for me.

If you want more current confirmations, then look here:

http://www.sfwa.org/for-authors/writer-beware/alerts/#Literary

Ever left an apple out so long it not only rotted, but then turned wholesome again?

Didn't think so... :-)

Hm. Strikes me as odd they don't have their own. "What kind of company is it?" he asked, disingenuously.

Here are a couple of items you might want to look at.

http://www.absolutewrite.com/screenwriting/life_rights.htm

$1.25 (PDF) Downloads immediately This Download includes 10 sample contracts and agreements typically used by screenwriters including - Story rights agreement, writer's collaboration agreement, life story rights, screenplay option contract, ghostwriting confidentiality agreement, writer for hire agreement, right to adapt, low budget screenplay purchase and short form assignment. In pdf format, 31 pages long.

http://www.lulu.com/content/2307406

Good question. If I were writing it, I think I'd withhold that information until something revelatory happens, then use the bifurcated character tag once, like "DEMON/MATTHEW," then identify Matthew (insert your character name, obviously) as the DEMON, as long as it possesses him or her.

You might want to check out the script for "Fallen," to see how it was done by Nicholas Kazan:

http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/Fallen.pdf

I'm boycotting the whole "Twilight" series, if only for "stealing" one of my titles. It's not rational, but like any good 'Murkan these days, I've a right to be pissed off if I wannabee.

I'll look up "Armored," and maybe add it to my list. My wife signed us onto "Netflix" a couple of years ago, so I'll no longer even see how empty the video rental store has become of browsers. Or, the theaters of viewers.

"Dating" is left as one of only two reasons to go to movies, the other being the allure of the BIG screen and audio system, especially with the movies like "Transformers" and "2012," made specifically to employ those systems.

This is the reason only 18-25 year olds are considered the theatrical release market, and you're confronted with a stark choice of what to write in search of that huge paycheck you're imagining -- a date movie, combining peril with romance, or a by-the-numbers romantic comedy, or a huge, smash-em-up, shoot-em-up, great gawdamighty end-of-the-world gargantuan spectacle.

But with Netflix, we are seeing a lot more movies than we did, including some we can consider high quality and humanly meaningful entertainment. For examples, I recommend "Miss Potter" from 2006 with Renee Zellwegger, and "I Could Never Be Your Woman," with Michelle Pfeiffer, a rom-com that manages to be fresh and note-perfect, written and directed by a woman, too.

As far as what's in theaters now, I want to see "The Men Who Stare at Goats!" Heh heh...

THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS Written by Peter Straughan & Jon Ronson

1 BLACK 1

SUPERED TITLES READ: More of this is true than you would believe.

FADE IN:

2 ...CLOSE ON A MAN'S FACE...

He is STARING at us with fixed concentration. He is sweating slightly in the summer heat. We hold for a moment. Silence, apart from the soft swish of an unseen ceiling fan.

WIDE SHOT - the Man, wearing military uniform, sits at his desk in his office, still staring straight ahead.

SUPERED TITLES appear, reading: General Putkin, United States Army Intelligence SED. Arlington, Virginia. 1983.

The General's assistant, LIEUTENANT BOONE, sits at his desk, working. After a moment Putkin seems to come to a decision.

GENERAL PUTKIN (SOLEMNLY) Boone?

LIEUTENANT BOONE Yes General?

GENERAL PUTKIN I'm going into the next office.

LIEUTENANT BOONE Yes sir.

The General stands up, smooths down his uniform, steps out from behind his desk and begins to walk.

Boone watches, with some trepidation, as the General increases his pace. He quickens to a jog, his face set with determination.

He breaks into a run...

Then he slams into the WALL of the office, rebounds and lies splayed on the floor.

He stares up at the wall balefully.

GENERAL PUTKIN Damn it!

Anyone have any "stories from the trenches" on this one?

Martins' probably nailed it.

Here's their URL:

http://www.lafeaturefilmacademy.com/

Nick's right, too. I won't say, "Don't list there," I'll just say, "List only small to micro-budget scripts there," as a means to possible networking. After all, people can possibly connect and help each other bootstrap up. Heavy-hitters who can write big checks simply don't need Ink Tip. Most of the Ink Tip producers have working budgets under $1 Mil.... oftentimes, WAY under.

Evie, yes, that's the way it works. If they viewed your synopsis, it's much the same thing, only they've read your brief synopsis, so they might have been a tad more interested. If they've viewed your script, it means they've actually downloaded the PDF of your script. Keep the records Ink Tip provides!

I can think of one use for using InkTip and the Preferred Newsletter, other than sheer, blind chance meaning you have just what someone's looking for just when they're looking for it, and that is to find out some company's names, URLs, and preferences in material so you might be able to intelligently query them at some point. Otherwise, the odds seem remote to me. They're a little better if you have a (non-creature) "supernatural thriller" that requires no make-up and very few special effects or locations... you get the drift, right?

The Daily Variety:

http://tinyurl.com/ye3ff3v

Paramount announced Thursday a plan designed to place between 10 and 20 projects in development by the end of next year, with no individual budget topping $100,000.

The 5 Dumbest Scripts I Ever Sold to Hollywood

By John Blumenthal

http://www.opednews.com/articles/The-5-Dumbest-Scripts-I-Ev-by-John-Blumenthal-091215-139.html = http://tinyurl.com/yc5jbfj

Oh, good, I was starting to regret having missed it.

I thought some might find a new challenge here they might not have considered: how to make their work stupid enough to be recommended. :-)

Great material in there, as usual. I hope you can keep 'em coming.

There's just been a 70-odd message thread on this very topic over on LinkedIn and it appeared Final Draft emerged as the "leading" product used by producers in Hollywood. It also had more dissatisfied/ uncomfortable users on the thread than Movie Magic Screenwriting, which received absolutely no complaints. But these two are the leading titles today.

Celtx is free and supports six writing formats; the others cost money. Celtx offers only two export choices for non-native file types; the others will offer a few more. As long as the program gets the formatting right and you can print or make a PDF out of the script, don't worry about it until you get an offer, would be my advice. If there had been free script formatting software when I started writing scripts, I'd have seized on it.

I have never owned a copy of Final Draft, but most of these programs you pay for will offer some way to see the scenes laid out, and a way to shuffle them around, like index cards. MMS supports nine script formats via templates and offers Outline, Scenes, Notes, and Bookmark tabs, with bells such as iPartner for internet collaborations, a way to launch the Character Map from within the program's menu, and has a "register with Writer's Guild" menu item, too; convenient, I suppose.

I did read that Final Draft crashes pretty often, for at least some users. I've never had that problem with Movie Magic at all. On the other hand, Final Draft has a downloadable "viewer" available so that people who don't own the program can read a script you've written in its native FD format. That's unique to Final Draft, I think.

I like the features in Movie Outline, a kind of all in one plotting and writing script outliner-formatter with tabs, except that it has a bit of a buggy Element (change to Action, Character, scene heading, etc.) feature which is hard to manage once something goes wrong with a character name, such as it somehow containing a string of dialogue you typed one time. There seeems to be no getting rid of those once you somehow get them started -- you can't purify the element gone wrong, you just have to hit the key after it displays the unwanted material alongside the character name.

Programs like Scriptware and Movie Magic, which I've more experience with, never did that, and I liked the fact that all I had to key were and to toggle through element changes in a logical order. Ouline requires Control-key combinations or a pull-down menu to control the changes of elements, so it's a touch clunkier in that regard, too. The tabs in Outline include Outline, Script, Notes, Characters, Feelfactor, Reference, Library, PowerView, Step Cards, and Story Tasks. It also includes a "character profile wizard" feature.

I used to write in Scriptware and adopted Movie Magic only because Scriptware wouldn't open scripts from one PC on another using my home network. It's a quite decent program otherwise, though it's apparently not been updated since the Windows 95 days, and it's fallen out of favor since those times.

The gist of it is that each program is liable to have something you like, and some annoyances. The best bet for no annoyances, in a program you pay money for, is Movie Magic Screenwriting, once known as "Script Thing" and a favorite among writers since the 1990s. If you're new to screenwriting, I'd stay with Celtx until your writing gets a lot of praise from people who know the craft, and then spend money on Final Draft or Movie Magic Screenwriting at that point.

Maybe someone here can fill you in on the joys of using Final Draft. Possibly, that's sarcasm, I don't know...

We'll all be relieved when you're out of the way, Stephen. Actually, I don't know when I'll enter a contest again, but congratulations on the option, that's for sure. You've been more or less setting the world on fire in 2009, and the rest of us would like to see that it's at least possible to make a sale and have something produced -- so, good luck!

Movie Magic was bought out; prior to that, it was originally known as ScriptThing.

Thanks for citing that website, Mike.

A TV ad for "Serendipity" just reminded me to always have a character state the central question, for the sake of trailers and quicky ads. That's just one of the magic ingredients to include in each script, but a good one. How to make it seem unforced in the script? That's our problem.

Yes, you really went far, once again, Irin. I had two scripts entered in the "13th," and they sent me letters informing me they both made semi-finalist status, but that was "it" for me.

Terry's right. Their public domain status and familiarity are why these characters got used so much.

You may find this page of interest:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PublicDomainCharacter

Tim, I use Movie Magic 6 and love it; however, late last summer, I bought Movie Outline 3 at some site where I found it for about $160.00. It has the features I want, but I must say, the actual scriptwriting interface is a bit on the flakey side, compared with either of the other apps I've used most often, Movie Magic or Scriptware. It's export function works well at preserving the formatting as PDF, but, unlike the two mentioned above, it's really crap with plain text or RTF exports. I'm not *quite* sorry I bought it, but, it has its annoyances, and I wish it were a little more developed in a couple of ways related to the actual scripting.

Pity, that.

I say, if you're writing to please yourself, you'll at least live a richer life than a couch potato just sitting, watching TV. And these guys are right when they say it may result in the greatest work you've ever done.

I doubt I'll enter any contests in 2010. I'm dead broke right now, and when I finally build up some money again, I have other intentions for burning it. If it all works out, I'll someday have a little feature on video, so I can say I did it, if nothing else.

Menatime, I have a couple of unfinished scripts that will get some attention, and maybe go in a drawer, unless I surprise myself. These are old ideas which might make decent indie films, but mainly, they're passion projects and problem-solving exercises for me. If I can make them very good, I'll be happy, and will have "increased my inventory" of completed scripts and genres I've attempted.

I have many creative projects to keep me happily occupied, and thanks to the previous 2-3 years of contest engagement and, particularly, getting notes, I have an idea of my current "place in the pantheon." The first row in the picture is very narrow. The second row is four times as wide. The third row contains five hundred people. The fourth row contains the multitudes who are taking a stab. That fuzzy figure you see is me, stepping back and forth between the second and third rows.

If I end up, after further writing, believing I might have gone from being able to produce not just very good, but "great" material from the Hollywood stance, I plan on getting some feedback and trying the top contests only, now that I've scoped them out. But, mainly, I'll plan on contacting prodcos and agents to tell them what they're missing.

It seems people often forget that the journey always lasts as long as life. No one ever reaches some achievement that actually results in lasting happiness. Money can (still, maybe not for much longer) bring a measure of comfort and security. Then, those circumstances have to be managed, whether you find they've really made you happy or not. Happiness is what you discover within yourself in the living; the circumstances are secondary.

I sent three loglines and never heard a thing from them. They don't seem like scammers so far.

If they "sneak a peek," Inktip notifies you.

The great editor and novelist, Sol Stein's "Fiction Master" is the best of that type of software I've ever seen. (I much prefer it to Dramatica, for example.) It is plain and simple-looking by comparison, but that doesn't matter if you want the real goods, namely, insight into your own story, plot, characters, dialogue, goals, and obstacles. It directly and simply "interviews" you about your story and leads you to come up with the right answers to cover your bases for full development.

http://labs.adobe.com/technologies/story/

"...Adobe® Story, a collaborative script development tool designed for creative professionals, producers, and writers working on or with scripts and screenplays. This preview version will let you try out a few of the scriptwriting tools that will be part of the overall features in the final version of Story.

Thanks to tight integration that will be available with future versions of Adobe Creative Suite Production Premium, Story will play the starting role in the pre-production phase of a planning-to-playback workflow. For example, script information will be transformed into relevant metadata that will automate the creation of shooting scripts, shot lists, and more. So in addition to being a modern screenplay tool, Story's future integration with Adobe's production toolset will help creative professionals deliver more engaging experiences, while also enabling huge efficiencies in pre-production, production, and post-production. The scriptwriting features in the preview version of Adobe Story are just the beginning! ..."

http://www.writersstore.com/article.php?articles_id=1098&discount=ezine&source=ezine

"The following excerpt is from my new book Shaking the Money Tree: The Art of Getting Grants and Donations for Film and Video Projects - 3rd Edition . [$17.79 at Amazon.com] I have picked this section because it applies to anyone who wants to get ready to fundraise for any type of project. This advice is especially relevant to screenwriters - the often unheralded heroes of the film world who make tremendous sacrifices for their work.

Once, when someone asked jazz pianist/composer Thelonious Monk how he managed to get a certain special sound out of the piano, Monk pointed to the keyboard and said: "It can't be any new note. When you look at the keyboard, all the notes are there already. But if you mean a note enough, it will sound different. You got to pick the notes you really mean!"

Filmmaking is a funny business. Part art, part business. Neither fish nor fowl. How does a professional fashion a career in this hybrid environment where the formal training is primarily concerned with technique and aesthetics, but rarely with business and career development skills?

What I have discovered is that funding problems are almost always rooted in a basic set of unresolved career issues. This work has led me to a system of consulting that focuses on helping professionals with career development basics that, in turn, affect every aspect of their work, including fundraising. Below is a quick summary of the main points of my approach to career development work. ..."

I don't suppose Mr. Warshawski uses this board, either.

For posts 1-5 of the series, read the blog from the bottom post upward.

http://candidcoverage.blogspot.com/

It's just a caution against having too-high expectations. I recall a post where someone said words to the effect that the contests are "Hollywood" trawling for scripts to produce. You must realize that's not the case at all. You can get something worthwhile for your development from entering some few of the contests. Take contest experience, and/or, if you can spot it, the wise words of the most seasoned folk here, and then, as Mr. Evers said, "choose wisely."

The acceptance speech:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=96941055134

Felix the Flyer in the media:

http://www.felixtheflyermovie.com/Press.html

Thanks for this post; it details the kind of practices we all have to learn thoroughly if we want to succeed at the craft.

Very impressive, Mr. Donald! Wins in two categories! Please keep us posted as to what happens with the prizes from here, eh?

... as I did early last September, go hit that site link again. You'll see the site's basically gone, replaced by a slick-looking page with a little info on what I believe was its sponsor all along:

http://928inc.com/

Does anybody know just when, how, why, this occurred?

This is from the email welcoming me as a member:

"Thank you for registering at HOLLYWOOD ALERT the smart way writers get connected.. Your payment for your membership has been received. You may now login to http://hollywoodalert.com with your username and password."

Uh-uh. Not at the site as it is now.

I set up a profile, uploaded an image... I was on the verge of updating this when I made this discovery.

This was a "$19.95 Lifetime Fee" I paid. Not a fortune. But I have a sum total of five emails from these people. They do not include a notification of this swith-up.

My life is over! ( I guess.)

Yoiks! I'm gonna review all your posts before I take any more chanced, Irin!

Second time I've let myself be scammed. At least, as I said, it wasn't a fortune. Still... a lot of little sums really add up for the people who pull this kind of shit. Or "subtract down" from those of us who believe we're seeing a possible new avenue of opportunity.

I emailed 'em this morning and asked if my "lifetime membership" was only to provide them with seed money. Question asked, question answered, I suppose, even if they don't reply, which they certainly didn't today.

Thanks for these words from the trenches. By now, I've forgotten how I even heard of them, embarrassingly enough. Do, please, post if anything actually happens, like, maybe you hear back from them!

Could be a movie, though: "The Monster That Wouldn't Die."

As for health care, what are we in for there? Multi-thousand- dollar Federal fines if we don't pay the insurance companies for their pig-in-a-poke products?

I miss the days when the Republicans only had one political party.

Can't the heroine even whine when the undead monster returns to pursue her again?

Rush Limbaugh, Friday, mocked a woman for having the "sob story of the day." She was forced to wear her dead sister's dentures when she could not afford a set of her own: "What's wrong with using a dead person's teeth? Aren't the Democrats big into recycling? Save the planet? And so what? So if you don't have any teeth, so what? What's applesauce for? Isn't that why they make applesauce?"

Glen Beck: "I am wearing George Washington's dentures right now. I'm wearing his teeth right now. . .I just like wearing dead people's teeth. But in America -- I'm sorry, I didn't know that was -- I've read the Constitution before. I didn't see that you had a right to teeth."

Hmm. If anybody wants to get mad, the line forms behind me.

I've posted in response to some "software" threads about what I liked and disliked about Movie Outline. It appears they've fixed those features I didn't like and added Final Draft export -- first time I will have had that option, not being a Final Draft user.

Rundown on the new program version here:

http://www.movieoutline.com/newin3.html

As a v. 3.0.5 user, I was notified I was entitled to a free upgrade to this version. I had to use Windows Add/ Remove Programs to uninstall it, but the new installation from the web was very quick and easy. I was delighted to see the new installation picked up my registration number, so I didn't have to hassle with re-registering.

I've only had time to sample some of the new features, but the ones I have, look rock-solid. If they all work so well, the improvements should now place this software solidly in the contender class to challenge Movie Magic and Final Draft.

I left a comment, William. Please check out my representative sample from my comedy script, "Ignore Alien Orders."

"A private detective, hired by the First Lady, discovers America's leaders are being replaced by shape-shifting aliens."

A week after first posting, I just replaced my first five pages of the script, this morning, with a bit of action, capped off by a gag-line that's actually played in a 30-second video clip on the "Media" tab. The sponsors wanted something to "embody" the concept according to last week's message, hence the change I made from humorous teaser pages to later action. The formatting went to the wrong font this time, I don't know why... it's really five pages in Courier 12, but it spilled over a couple of lines onto page 6 and looks like a Times font, after today's overly-laborious upload.

http://massify.com/profiles/ronbrassfield/scripts

Oh, my God, I had no idea. What a shock. I thought Steve's career had just taken off and that's why he wasn't posting here lately. Very sad news.

William, I'll have another look. I'm working to a deadline and haven't had a lot of time to spend not writing, so I hardly know what I'm doing in there, technically. When I posted a different set of pages, it wiped out the only couple of comments my submission already had. Heh. Another booby-trap.

I doubt it's anything to do with laws, per se. If anything, it's probably to do with WGA working rules. #4: members don't write for anyone without a contract; #6 writers don't sell their work for less than the contractual minimums stipulated in the MBA; maybe even #14, writers don't work on "spec," meaning write a producer a script without financing already being in place.

Script Savvy/ Xtreme Screenwriting best quality bargain priced feedback to be had, AFAIK. Like 'em both.

...a.k.a., "The Filmmaker's Destination."

http://universal.filmmakersdestination.com/

Listen to Walter, he's a sensible man, and listen to me, so am I. Well, maybe.

I finally joined Facebook at the end of March, just AFTER taking a writer's workshop for eight weeks. During those weeks, I wrote a complete screenplay. At the conclusion, a public reading of the writers' works, I met a half-dozen actors who enjoy my work and want to work with me on projects. And you know what? I'm more in the mood to make things than to just keep on being an isolated writer and a hopeful supplicant to people whose job is, basically, to say "no."

Some of these actors have over 1,000 "Facebook friends." I just made a no-budget trailer from this new script with some of them and a Vixia, and posted it online. I don't know, yet, how many people it will reach through these connections, but I know it will be many more than if I shouted on the street corner.

Here's the trailer for "Ignore Alien Orders," which I just submitted for The Trailer Festival.

http://www.massify.com/projects/ignorealienorders/media/12899422

After blowing a large wad of cash on these things in the past two or three years, I decided to use PAGE, Script Savvy and Xtreme Screenwriting to get good feedback at affordable prices. I've done enough of this to realize that, of course there's a subjective element; but with these, you'll get a pretty damn fair evaluation of your story that's based mainly on your use or omission of the structural elements a commercial screenplay needs, and how well you actually handled them. In screenwriting, that's the best kind of feedback. For other kinds, form a writer's group with some peers, and save tons of money, says I. I recently took a workshop and didn't get much criticism as I whittled out my latest script, but I met some actors who're loving it and that's gold, in my book.

Right, as usual, Mike!

Yes, but WHICH last minute? I agree with Irin that it's unfair to the writers who make the earlier-posted deadlines.

Just checking in on this board. I entered my first stab at comedy/sci-fi, "Ignore Alien Orders," and it advanced.

Not my first script, Karen, but the first time trying to write a comedy. I used to frequent this board a lot. I'm busy writing webisodes now, so as to work with some actors I met during the 8-week workshop I was involved in when I wrote that script in the spring. We should be making some actual segments pretty soon.

Playwright Lisa Soland transitioned into writing from being an actress after growing frustrated with "dumb-blone" typecasting tendencies. She says she asked one of her show-biz mentors, "How do I become successful in this business?" and she was told, "The more you help others make their dreams come true, the more others will help you make yours come true, also."

"blonde"

That probably makes YOU the one with the experience. Feel free to keep us posted.

Of course, thanks for asking. We have to work out where they'll be placed, and all that. I'll gladly announce that information when we have something uploaded. We'll want to stockpile some before beginning to release them. The general idea is to have one per week for a year or so appear on the web. There's some really slick product being done as webisodes, "Bannen's Way" to cite a really sterling example. Ours probably won't be competing with the likes of that for the pinnacle of technical perfection, but it should basically look good, and I think it'll have a lot of heart. We've just recently completed the casting for the series regulars and now I'm actually on the spot to produce the thing. We're all looking forward to having one of the times of our lives.

Thanks for posting. Yes, I really believe that not just writing, but making motion picture entertainment of some sort, and of course constantly networking in a friendly, helpful way with others who share similar goals, really is the ticket. Worst case scenario is that you have something at the end where before there was nothing!

Who here hasn't read all of the "Wordplay" columns by Terry Rossio? Those of you who raised your hands, why not? They're free advice from a master who's been there and done that. There's been some good advice dispensed on this thread, too.

All (most) contests can do is help you gauge how you might be doing against the vast herd of other hopeful writers, some quite excellent, who are churning stuff out. Contests have nothing to do with actually marketing a script, though. Nothing at all.

My entry got cut, and I received my feedback yesterday. Congratulations, and good luck to those who are in the next leg of the running.

I've recommended this site before, and I'll recommend it again. Read it all.

http://www.kullervo.com/Screenwriting.html

I did pretty well in this big comp several times, and got letters from them telling me which script did what, but the way they handle it overall, particularly their postings on the web (version which? etc.), always confused me. PAGE seems of comparable size, but manages to not have those problems.

I just tried comedy for the first time and my feedback's rating the script the equivalent of 6.2 to 8.5, with most of the criticisms focusing on about 1/2 of my act one. A plot point and choice of first act break received the most criticism. From this experience, I'd say, work hard on giving all your characters, not just your lead, some particularized individual traits. And don't think you can take any liberties with what is perceived as basic reality in setting your situations.

And, in general, I'd say, consider the Monty Python axiom that comedy is watching someone who's watching someone act funny.

Read Mel Helitzer's book, "Comedy Writing Secrets" and practice the techniques until you own them, or enough of them to run with.

Buy a copy of "Great Dialogue" software (only about $20) to explore about 100 dialogue techniques, and/or read Karl Iglesias' book, "Writing for Emotional Impact," which also explains about 40 or so of these dialogue techniques.

If you are writing romantic comedy, consider "The Instructions" at this URL:

http://www.kullervo.com/The_Instructions.html

I took part in Sunday's free conference call from Hal Croasmun. I was wondering who in Moviebytes is a ProSeries Alumnus, and what do you think about the whole course and what have you experienced, being an alumnus? Thanks.

Hey, Irin, I bet the members of "Octarane" in New Jersey could play the band members; they played together in the basement in the 1980s and actually reformed last year! Now they're playing bar gigs! Anyhow, way to go! (BTW, when are you going to become a screenwriting guru?)

Way to go, Irin. You've been knocking yourself our for years, and one would hope for that level of effort to pay off. Nice to see you making all this headway recently. Good luck from here!

EIGHTEEN month option? Long options don't work in the writer's favor. And, what kind of "option" involves no payment to the writer? What writer allows random others to take over their scripts under such exploitative circumstances? And, don't you realize you're sticking a dagger in the heart of the WGA when you encourage these union-busting scum from Amazon to just outright rip you off? Do you feel you're "doing an end-run around the system" when the net results are that you're giving away your work, and chipping away at all entertainment writers' negotiating base in the process?

NO WAY. I may never have any success myself, but, nevertheless, on ethical grounds alone, I will never regret taking this vow.

Amazon is the Wal-Mart of the internet. Over time, it has become clear Amazon is seeking the status of a monopolistic, retail-killing giant in every area of commerce. With this venture, they are really showing their arrogance. But, hey, arrogance has paid off time and again for other "giants" in the con artist field, hasn't it?

Practically a thousand have taken them up on the offer to give their work away, already? Shit. Run for the cliff, lemmings.

Read these blogs and get hip to what's wrong with this picture.

Craig Mazin

http://artfulwriter.com/?p=1103

Liz Shannon Miller

http://gigaom.com/video/amazon-studios-contract/

John August

http://johnaugust.com/

Jesse Harris

http://nffty.org/explore/your-say/amazon-the-movie-studio-yeah-right

Hal Croasmun of ScreenwritingU respectfully suggests to Amazon how they could fix this proposal so it wouldn't suck so badly.

http://www.screenwritingu.com/blog/2010/selling-your-screenplay/an-open-letter-to-amazon-studios

After entering in August I just thought to check on this, and there's my name, nice. I think I only entered three contests this year; I had two scripts in Scriptoid, one all- original and one collaboration, so I guess I'll have to wait until after the New Year's to read the feedback and see how they compared in the eyes of the judge(s). Congrats to the other Moviebyters whose names appear there. With any luck, some of us might get to hook up with some of the sponsors and possibly get a career boost from the association. I feel ready for it after [censored] years of working "regular jobs."

Whoa! Big news every time I wander in here lately. Keep us posted on how things are going -- if you can find the time!

I suspect there are some people here who might benefit from this. And the price is right, too.

http://www.screenwritingu.com/philosophy/landing.htm

"At ScreenwritingU, I've walked more than 50 screenwriters through the deal making process in the last two years. But I've also seen many screenwriters who actually had a deal on the table blow their chance at a professional screenwriting career simply because they had a philosophy about the screenwriting industry that was destined to fail.

How is that possible?

You see, many writers learned their philosophy about the movie biz from false myths or by misinformed Internet hype about how Hollywood works. And making decisions based on the wrong philosophy about Hollywood.

Beginning January 31st, you'll receive 20 KEY tips for building the philosophy you need to become a great screenwriter. Every day, you'll get a new key to help you shape a winning philosophy, such as:

Six tips for breaking into the Biz more quickly. Three tips that could save you years of amateur mistakes. Four tips for causing people to recommend your writing. Four tips that empower you through tough situations. Three tips that help you build a solid career NOW."

-Hal Croasmun

That's basically it, as Irin has said. He's got the right kind of partnership going now, it sounds like.

I've only done it once, but I'm open to doing it again. In my case, on another board, long ago, a writer asked for help. He had 120 pages of scenes with no resolution which he didn't know how to structure into a story. I volunteered to read them. In essence and in the end, I tossed half the material and wrote the other half, integrating some of his ideas and contributing my own developments into his concept.

We actually disagreed at the very first stage. I re-wrote up to the midpoint (the first time it actually had a midpoint), then asked the original author to take a read, and perhaps carry it on from there a while, and pass it back. Well, he fundamentally disagreed with what I had done. This was a campy, 1950s-style "teenagers vs. monsters-taking-over-the-hometown" kind of story, and he thought the kids should be actually fighting the monsters before the midpoint. My approach was to have the lead gathering clues to this point, where he's just figured out something really weird's happening, has a clue about what it is. I did nothing more, because I thought I was practicing the right kind of pacing, and, well, if he thought otherwise, he could re-write my rewrite. That didn't happen, so my attitude was, "fine." I went on with writing my own ideas, my own way. In the end, ten years or so later, he asked me could we finish it, just go forward from where I'd left off. Basically, I took that as a license and just rewrote it from there, then he tweaked whatever he thought needed it, which was minor tinkering. So, it wasn't my ideal writing partnership, but it produced something. Get the right "elements" together, though, and something great can come of it. I'm Aries, and this guy is a Cancerian. He's a good guy, we have some common interests and he's still a long-distance friend, but for purposes of having a steady writing partner, I'd probably do better with an Aquarian or a Libran to bounce ideas and scenes around with. People of the Air signs seem to get me going, and vice-versa. And, as they say, leave ego out of it (though I'd advise on having a 50-50 agreement in writing) and focus only on making the most kick-ass movie script possible.

Since I'm now in my mid-50s, whomever I write with (surely someone of an air sign, yes) will hire a young stand-in for me for those meetings in LA. Someone about 17 years old ought to be about right, not to mention capable of replicating my thought processes...

To my surprise, look what myproducer.tv chose to promote today. No budget, but lots of fun.

http://tinyurl.com/4v9kd2d

Script Dude says it like it is. Informally speaking, as for budget, look at your settings. Are they places you can rent? Need to make/ rent props? Furnishings? Hire a makeup artist? Use a hospital room/ jail cell, etc.? If so, for how much can you get these things? What talent is going to attract people to watch your movie? You can increase your prospects of raising money if you can get a letter of intent from at least a "B" list actor to lead the cast. Any celebrity name will be better for fundraising than using all unknowns. Otherwise, how much money have you got, yourself? What's the gap between that and how much you need to pay for the stuff you've figured out you need? You can form an LLC for only a couple of hundred bucks, and a letter to raise interest from the local dentists or other professional movers and shakers might attact them into LLC membership as capital contributors. And remember, you may need at least as much to promote the venture as you need to produce it. Add that in and aim for raising three times as much as you think you need, then spend it like a miser as you go, and you might even conserve some funds and might even be able to pay people back.

Boiler plate forms here:

http://www.boilerplate.net/Home.html

Free film budget top sheet template here:

http://makingthemovie.info/2007/03/free-film-budget-template.html

34-page budget worksheet in PDF:

http://www.northofhollywood.com/NOH/film-budget.pdf

And there are more sources that can help. I got these real quick from Googling the phrase, "movie production budgeting work sheet."

"Supernatural Law."

By the way, I noticed the recognition you got in Barb Doyon's e-newsletter a few weeks back for your "mermaid that howled" script. Congratulations!

Interesting. I was sure that meant my submission had been shot down on the first read. That did just happen to me with Script Pipeline on the same script, same draft. I wrote that script while taking Hal Croasmun's "ProSeries" course # 31 for about eight months, and I thought it was ironic that THAT would be my FIRST submission of the three I've made to PAGE that DIDN'T make it to quarterfinalist. I guess we'll soon see if that's true. If so, ironic! Though it was a first draft, so were my earlier submissions which advanced.

I haven't read it, but some who have swear by "Inside Story: The Power of the Transformational Arc," by Dara Marks. Some suggestions I can make on a first-hand basis would be, "The Writer's Guide to Character Traits" by linda N. Edelstein, Ph.D., and "Psychology for Screenwriters" by William Indick, Ph.D. There are also a couple of books which draw heavily on mythology and spiritual sources for ideas in developing characters and motivation, "45 Master Characters," by Victoria Lynn Schmidt, and "Inner Drives," by Pamela Jaye Smith. Now, it doesn't focus only on character, but another book I consider well worth recommending for any screenwriter and it has the kind of sources I use for developing my characters (I hope, anyway), is "Writing a Great Movie," by Jeff Kitchen. So, there, now you have several options to explore for ideas.

Bobette, did you check the prodco's credits?

(Spelling) Bobbette, sorry.

Yeah, my entry did make the 2nd round, too. It's a relief. Now the people in this thread need to put their heads together and collaborate on creating a new TV series. :-)

My entry got cut.

There's apparently a general contraction in print and an expansion of attempts, which mostly appear unsuccessful, to create new communities on the web. These will end up like every other commercial venture in the USA any more, with a small number of huge successes and a vast amount of utter flops. A great number of competitions and stalwart info websites from the '90s have vanished, for sure. Market fragmentation in the midst of exploding numbers of media channels is having the effect of dissolving the big opportunities, in my view. I see this situation as rather a problem, though I know some others see it as an "opportunity." As an "opportunity," I see the trend as basically scaring the shit out of organizations who can still muster big capital (hence their tendency to "reality-TV" and reliance on remakes and proven winners in other media), and for the masses of us creative aspirers, this "opportunity" is creating a lot more roads to nowhere in particular. That's the way I see the Amazon thing, though there may well be an exception here and there that might spring from that source, the one in millions which will make me appear to be wrong in the eyes of some. In the case of certain "fanboy-type" entertainment products which feed the movies a lot these days, such as comic books and video games, I see a continued trend by publishers to find out if dumbing them down to a new low, and including more and more desensitizing hyper-violence, can find a new audience. Americans' heroes in life and in media seem to be murderers. They're now considered "wimps" if they are not murderers. To me, the whole field's become like a vast brainwashing of the populace by an elite who's out to rule the world and needs a vast army of zombie warriors pre-conditioned by the time they're big enough to wield a rifle and search fruitlessly for economic surival... But then, I foresaw this outcome from the mid-'70s, when the first push-button warfare arcade games appeared. The current realignment in progress all smacks of desperation to me. But, after the great Wall Street National Ponzi Scheme the corporate media refer to as "the morgage crisis" burst, how could it not? There is no longer any major, substantial economic engine left to pull the USA out of the depression and paralysis of the aftermath. We manufacture little now, except desperation and dreams. There is probably at least as much high quality work out there as ever in movies and TV, but it exists in the context of a larger media forest servicing a (seemingly) vastly degraded culture in general than in decades past.

I loved Script Savvy when Donna White was still able to run it, and run it well she certainly did. For now, I've also opted for caution, I'm afraid. I got the shaft this year in my working life and now that I'm finally working steady again, I'm working for a third less income. Caution's probably the trend now for writers submitting to Script Savvy, and, if so, it's a shame, because can't be good for their cash flow at the contest organization. If so, it becomes a question of whether they can survive the promised catching-up process, or not.

Um, I don't pay for coverage unless it's NOT free.

My screenwriter / filmmaker research links are back on the web, freshly tested and updated for the umpteenth time. (I had to waste the weekend somehow, I guess.) Though there is some overlap of mission among multi-purpose sites, they are now sorted by their main emphasis into categories for easier reference. Use them in good health!

http://www.airborne-entertainment.com/HollywoodLINKS.htm

Robert, I'll be watching the messages here to see if Script Savvy actually recovers. I'm afraid it may not, because now people are too reluctant to enter. If no one enters, SS's cash flow dies; then, either readers are burned as they try to catch up, or writers are burned from their entries. For now, I'm still willing to take a chance that they can recover and return to being run in a similar vein to what Donna White somehow achieved with it originally. If it hasn't recovered within a few months, I'll remove the link. By the way, even knowing their condition, I entered a script several months back and, like many others here, never received a word of response. I wanted their notes. I used to find the Script Savvy notes very helpful and they were economical for me. This time, I paid for nothing, unless they do eventually come through. But by now, that same first draft of a script developed during Hal Croasmun's ProSeries 31, I got notes from Barb Doyon of Xtreme Screenwriting, from two other contests, and from Script-A-Wish, further developing it, and I hope to be querying with it soon. The first draft, just done in time for the deadlines, made Second-Round (top 25%)in the PAGE Awards, Quarter-finalist in the Creative World Awards, and I was notified yesterday, Semi-finalist in the LA Screenplay competition (producer Rafael Primorac's script search contest).