Message Board

Right on Richard!! At last somebody on this board that believes in chivalry!!! Unfortunately, it's head banging on brick walls when you strike to defend those that obviously search out and cherish their own inimtable crisis. Keep those good thoughts though because like me, you shall reach your own particular nirvana. Love 'em all, D.G.

I am intrigued at the amount of time spent by so many; ruminating on weirdos instead of writing screenplays. Hmmmm?

Hear, here!

To: Rene Leslie

From: dgarthb@yahoo.com

Re: Your Postings.

Rene, I've read your replies with keen interest this afternoon and must say that you are undoubtedly, the most common-sensical and helpful person I've had the pleasure of observing on this www thingy. Please drop me a line, I would enjoy asking you a couple stupid questions, without having to weed through the superfluous stuff.

Thanx, D.G. Balazs

To: Keith Walter From: D.G. Balazs RE: OPEN SEASON ON ME?

What exactly does that mean? I use a word, quite common and in the correct context ... then all of a sudden it's open season? Sorry but my little pea-brained, vision- infested skull does not compute hunting people that you obviously don't know. Especially if your intended prey is an unknown entity. You may burn a bridge before you've arrived to it's trestle. Do you really want some feedback or are you just another wired pseudo web-slinger, or do you really want some sort of dialogue with a dinosaur that isn't intimidated by most long, hot winded airbags?

To All: Good, real good. It's all good, depending on your perception of good - chivalry - cudchewing and or screenwriting. I love it, but not to the extreme of moving into or around LA. The plastic gives me a headache. Guess I'm a wimp, but my higher purpose isn't sell, sell, sell ... ... It's entertain, entertain, entertain! I spent some time down there and came to the frightening conclusion that too many people choose to live there for the same reasons. Jobs to support themselves until they hit the non-existant big-time. I wish only the best for all of you, because you who live down there are in need of the best. I don't know you but I love you anyway, good or bad, it's all about perspective, perception, personality, pleasure. Those of you who take offense or feel that this is pointed at you, please disregard as ramblings of a thirty six year old unpublished, unknown ... ... troglodyte. Living and working on works in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. A long, long line down to a phone pole is my only communication with other humans. Once again, Love, peace, pleasure. dgarthb@yahoo.com

To: ROB RAYE Thanks for your comments. I Appreciated the thoughts, be cool. dgarthb@yahoo.com

Dearest Rene,

Bueno!

D.G.

To: Tracy Norris Re: Gentleman And Ladies

The Good Knight Slept Tight, The Bad Night Slept Not Right. We live in a world of humans that have all but forgotten the past, hence the need or curse to keep repeating it over and over and over. Read Chaucer's CANTERBURY TALES, if you haven't already, he sheds a brilliant light on relationships (Not necessarily intimate) from over 600 years away that illuminates what we see and live today. Some people treat people like ants to be squashed, scorned and discarded like so many pampers in a parking lot. I am personally on a quest to make a difference, if some observe this, maybe, just maybe we can work toward the NIRVANA that all the poor misbegotten souls desperately seek, but won't acknoweldge their own quests in favor of "fitting in with a particular mob mentality." Always my HIGHEST regards to you and yours,

Love, Peace, Pleasure, D.G.

P.S. To Tracy Norris

I am alive, and as long as that is, and one woman lives and breathes on Earth, including Earth herself, there WILL be CHIVALRY.

Well put Tim-ster!!

D.G.

Dear Mr. Beal, How do you all do it? So many screenplays to read in so little time? Are you Hiring? Because if you are, I can gloss over someone's blood sweat and tears with the best of them! Maybe even better! Love and Peace and Pleasure, D.G.

A Fun Toy that some closet jokester tries to take too seriously instead of having Fun Toy time with, perhaps.

Hear, here ...

Alas, alak, seems Rene, won't write back ... wahh! All these novice, retarded, redundant questions relegated to skinny-dippin' in my peabraind chasm ... at least with no clothes on: They steer better in there!!

Sheila, He's singin' in the garage practicing with the members of a band and as he's hittin' a high note a tone deaf Africanized Killer Bee flies into his esophagus and stings his left vocal cord causing it to swell and prevent him from using the other chords. Huh? Huh? huh/ Have fun with it, no thanks needed! Love, Peace, Pleasure, D.G.

Alva, I am not an expert, but when my first screenplay came out, I wrote it longhand about twelve times and then decided to research format as well as sources that can help get it into the mass conciousness. My novice advice is to work your pencil/pen to the nub and get your screenplay down to the best you can possibly feel, (soul-wise) you know when it's there, no reel need for expert opinions if you truly put your heart and soul in it, then go formatting. Just a thought from an as yet unknown entity. All my best, D.G.

Cheese & rice!!!!!!! We're all just a mob of cinnamon-itches and bastages, pour farging you knows ...

To: Rene Leslie, Whut's up with the no response to my fake serious questions about, you know, stuff? Scared to find a great story (ies) or just another poser posing as a promoter? Or too many people to promote, too little time for the diamond in the ruff? Bark-bark-bark!!! Well? D.G.

To: Leigh, I am, therefore, we is, was and will not be scared to venture forth and relate and or create. Is wut we continue to do-be-do-be-doo. Same as last time, D.G.

Rene; You did, you have, you will. I'm just sorry that my impatience to get together with some folks who obviously care a great deal is thwarted by my obviously inept attempts to get your attention for future work. That's okay, I understand completely if you haven't got time for a simple minded caveman that just happens to blow people out of the water with his SCENARIO KING outlook on life and wrk and play. I do have a problem and that is not being able to hook up with some deep pockets with vision ... YET!!!! When I do ... all are welcome to jump on this bandwagon bent for the stars! Love, Peace, Pleasure, D.G. P.S. Forgive my trogladytian impatience and subsequent vent (posted elsewhere).

No author profile = No interest Tiff. So sorry hardly anyone posts profiles. Must be (a)Lack of courage or (b) Too cautious to be identified or (c) Being stalked by cyber-gangs, (d) WHATEVER. Love, Peace, Pleasure- D.G.

D.G. not have bad days,

D.G. not understand and frightened of his new toys.

Can a fearless Troglodyte be trepidatious ... I feel Phil Hartman's desire ... but to buy his beloved a gun for her birthday and in the know about her alleged manic depression.

Society has been unclear on the concept, with so much gnu knoweldge at my stubby finger tips, never mind ....

Love, Peace, pleasure, D.G. McCaveboy

? after desire in prvious thing up there

Wait! No! I mean ? after depression.

It's OKAY Tina You are LOVED and creative, don't mind me, I just stubbly faced meek haearted flabbergasted pismire infested cave dweller who know s knot when killing, raping and pillaging enthusiasms, enthusiASMS, ENTHusiasms. Honestly, MY intent is to be loved also, but my stupid sarcastic remarks and sophomoric attempts at making people laugh or think about something I did is an overbearing burden of my twisted cave Psyche. Sorryn't Love, peace, pleasure D.G.

No comment from Senor Beal, hmmm? Personally I'd read for the sheer pleasure of glomming others ideas into this transmogrified troglodytic peabrain of mine - The one that keeps spewing scenario after scenario after scenario.

Here's my highest thought though ...

... Within the next twenty years, everyone (including dysfunctional types) will get paid or fed or survive by doing what they enjoy the most.

Hopefully, there are still those who desire a toilet brush workout and digging ditches and mopping puke in rest homes ...

Luv, Pees, Pleshur,

D.G.

To All:

Slaughterhose Five is one of the best movie adaptations ever made from a book.

If you haven't seen it yet, maybe you ought to do a little digging and find it on video somewhere's, or get your local TV list out of the Sunday paper and check the movie listings for the week.

That's how I got to see Coppoola's "Conversation" among others on my required seeing list.

Luv, Pees, Pleshur,

D.G.

To All:

P.S. to previous posting.

Billy Pilgrim is alive and well ...

L,P,P,

D.G.

Hey you guys!!!!

Let's just get to gether and string a skeleton toggether, paint it with glow in the dark stuff dip it in different colored waxes about a hundred times, add a few fake eyeballs then turn on the cammera at twelve frames per second then send a fine steady mist of liquified caustic soda at it and watch it melt.

My point being ...

... we don't need "Holy-Wood" to make our visions come true.

All we need is the desire to make them and a little dollareenies to grease the wheels of the capitalistic cabalists in the big bad mecca in LA.

Besides the obvious benefits of not being told what to do, we'll have the luxury of pissing the puritans off and quite possibly making the super bucks by doing instead of spewing.

You can quote me on that but I still demand credit!!!!

Love Peace Pleasure,

It's all GOOOD!

D.G.

With all the creativity circling around in our heads, my dream is this ...

... A big bunch of us get together and form an Independent Novice Filmmakers Consortium. One that reads each others work for a month or two at the beginning of each year, then decide what script is most economically feasible, then produce it on 16mm film with a shoestring budget.

I offer my services to not only drive the years production around the country and showing anyplace someone can loan (or rent) us a darkened room for screenings.

That is how they did it way back when before there was big studios.

It will work again in the new millenia simply because people are into old things that still work.

Wake up and smell my vision, for it is also yours ...

Love, Peace, Pleasure,

D.G.

THANK YOU MR. BEAL!!!!

WHERE AND WHEN CAN I PUT IN MY APPLICATION FOR THE PAID READING JOBS?

YOU HAVE MY PHONE NUMBER IN YOUR RECORDS, UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMEBODY THROW ALL THE LOSERS INFO OUT WITH THE BATHWATER ...

FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL ME WITH YOUR REPLY OR WHATEVER, DUDE ...

LUV, PEES, PLESHER,

D.G. CEO-TROGLODYTE FILMS

To: James McArdle

Re: Vision-Vibration

Granny was 1/16 Cherokee, so technically brave as in brave new world is accurate.

We are the dreamers of dreams ...

E-mail me at dgarthb@yahoo.com

We will talk about doing, instead of wishing ...

It's all good in the FUN NEW WORLD.

Pain is for suckers, that includes TOOTSIE POPS!

Love, Peace, Pleasure,

D.G. (get me - things'll go much better)

Guaranteed!!!!!!!

Why 16mm? We got one!!

Why indy?

We can do it our way, with enthusiastics instead of bean counting spastics!

We'll need quite a bit of help in all facets of filmmaking. The key is the perfect story that is makable on a SHOESTRING.

Unless of course someone out there has got a credit card with a decent limit and is willing to tack on another possible BK on their already spotty credit record.

As for particulars, how about:

90 to 100 pages = 1 and a half hours. Classic story skeleton.

Nothing wrong with avant'garde but we might do better at the eventual boxoffice with something all will enjoy.

Something that appeals to a higher concept of havin' fun!

After all, that is why WE'RE doing this!

IT'S ALL GOOD FEED BACK!

Let's get it on!

We'll need to figure a way to compile and honestly evaluate each script.

Ideas?

Luv, pees, plesh,

D.G.

GOOD POINTS TO PONDER, JOHN!!

We will utilize these aspects and come up with a general concensus and decide once we've found the right shooting script.

Let's concentrate on getting this vision (albeit a naive novice notion) of a I.N.F.C. rolling.

The budget will be there, because I can and do see it there. I know you do too.

We all see it happening, that's why we write it down, to release the creativity into the bigger conciousness of providing Entertainment for the world.

Personally, that's why I'm doing this; To entertain mass quantities!

I do not give a fig for the possible monetary pay-off. We are here now to create something we can all look back on with SUPREME SATISFACTION of just doing the thingy and entertaining each other.

On the plus side, earlier this year, I did a complete budget proposal for my first screenplay. The leg work I did included but wasn't limited to:

PRICES-PRICES-PRICES

Filmstock for daylight shooting. Filmstock for nightime/w/tungsten light. Sound tape, editing tape, equiptment rentals for eight weekends of shooting, various location fees, insurance, editing equiptment and numerous other aspects that are in full detail in Rick Schmidt's book "FEATURE FILMMAKING AT USED CAR PRICES" available anywhere, and HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!!

Come on aboard! Tell your FRIENDS!

The ONE BILL A PIECE IDEA SOUNDS...

... LIKE A WINNER!!!!!!

Let's talk about the selection process and then the CREW and ACTOR-persons can read the script and the the shit will really start ....

LOVE, PEACE, PLEASURE,

D.G.

WOW!!!

Talk about vibrating!!!

We may want to pick a core group to read scripts starting Jan 1, 1999.

Ten of us will work, I think. Then we get down to the nitty gritty ...

... Ten nominations with one eventual script; To be produced by all who deem their bill fit enough to manifest itself into our indy film.

Logistics will most likely be under the influence of John's timely budget restraint post ...

Everyone else: Get your best low budget script together and we'll be moving forward ... onward ... always.

Unless of course regression is your bag, in which case, may I join YOU?

Love, Peace, Pleasure,

D.G.

p.s. Goin' to SF to buy film and rent a couple things for a weekend 16mm/Video shoot for my bro's band: GRANDADDY.

I'll get back to you all ASAP.

Okay!!!

Here's the deal ...

Right now, right this very second, my vibes are tuning into some very positive stuff here ...

... Let all who have their visions leading them by the nose to you know where, complete their pet low-budget scripts ...

... By this time next year, those of us who proceed here will have something we can all agree on ...

... Our low budget, highly entertaining, nugget of cinemagraphic marvel ...

---"I know what can be done, ----I know what can't be done."

If you do too: E-Mail me

dgarthb@yahoo.com

or call me and we'll talk it over

(209) 785-0600 (Northern California, USA)

or snail-mail me at

D.G. Balazs PO BOX 1092 Mi Wuk, CA 95346

As Always, Love, Peace, Pleasure,

D.G.

P.S. I'm sure those of us who truly believe in art, entertainment, love, play and work can and will come together in some form and do GREAT THINGS with our films.

I've never been so certain of anything in my life! (36 years)

Regardless, I hope to work or play with each and everyone of you sometime in the near future.

I figure I've got about thirty years or more left on this chassis, so give me a holler, I got lots o' time.

Do you really desire to make a movie?

L, P, P,

D.G.

So, your heart's desire is to make movies?

L, P, P,

D.G.

Why are we competing so hard with each other, when our inner competition is what drives us most?

Love, Peace, Pleasure,

D.G.

If some of you do have true vision and don't know it yet, okay, relax, breathe deeply and look at your eyebals in the mirror.

Do you hold your gaze?

Do you look away?

These two questions are not for the squeamish or the sight deprived ...

I am indeed making movies. To find several enthusiastic, determined souls willing to do that is quite a blessing.

I feel all tingly inside.

Like a cosmic orgasm in a well worn carbon-based life form.

There is absolutely no reason to be scared of anything.

Thinking on the hundred dollar buy in thingy ...

... maybe that's a good one or maybe it smacks of some as yet unknown entity trying to make a buck off of Mr. and Ms. McGullible?

I do have a film crew, we do have shared visions. We are looking forward to working with whoever isn't scared or so wrapped up in naysaying that they don't get anything done ...

... frustration is a writer/director/actor's most plentiful natural resource. I simply choose to channel that into CREATION.

So can you all, and I HOPE you DO!!!!!

Love, Peace, Pleasure,

D.G.

GOOD!

Real good!!

As a yet unknown entity with aspiration, perspiration and determination, the Independant Novice Filmmakers Consortium is an idea that may or may not grow legs. I think it is, and will.

If you all need something tangible or concrete, then you must delve deep into yourself and answer this question:

Do I enjoy what I'm doing?

If so, congratulations!!

If not, think of being a founding carbon based unit of the I.N.F.C.

Solutions Folks!! We desire solutions!!!

We are problem solvers and artists at the same time ...

... Nothing gets done unless WE do it, in mind first, then on paper, then on film.

Let's iron out the ground rule stuff and take the time and energy to a level of creation that will behoove us all.

I'm getting my crew and talent together for a weekend shoot and will be back soon ...

Love, Peace, Pleasure,

D.G.

Hey you guys!!!

Almost forgot,

No one is excluded from the I.N.F.C., geographically or otherwise.

Nothing is excluded.

EXCEPTION:

No coulda's - woulda's or the inevitable shoulda's.

The I.N.F.C. is ...

... A big bunch of writer's pulling together to make a feature length ultra low budget film.

One that appeals too nine to ninety.

I've got one ready. Do you? If so, contact me at my previous # and or addresses to be a founding member.

Please no bull. I got enough already!!!

L,P,P,

D.G.

Hey Gary Rubin!

Just tell 'em whether you've produced or not. That's what they wanna' know!

"Can you produce my friggin' screenplay Mr. Rubin?"

Succinctly, D.G.

Contact you how, David?

Succinctly, D.G.

That's the problem! Everyone is so happy to share; whether it's an avenue to sell your story or not.

Once again:

"Hey Mr. Rubin! Can you produce my friggin' screenplay?"

Squarely on the head,

D.G.

Actually, "BIKINI CARWASH CO." is one of my all-time favoritesn't.

Sunstinksquidly,

D.G.

The simple fact is that years of rejection and getting scammed by con-artists who claim they'll submit your stories to all the top Prod/Co's; After you pay them to re-write work that is obviously "not ready for prime time", for only seven thousand dollars or so, and that doesn't even mention the ones who charge hundreds of dollars to read and critique your work to death. These "Producers" will cause even the most empirically optimistic kid on the block to wallow in the muddy, muddy waters of nothingness and forever wander the paths of sadistic self-loathing. Like me.

Unless it's a good day and the glimmer of the brass ring sparkles in the back of my cranium instead of the usual dull thud of another form letter by some reader who doesn't very much.

Philisophically,

D.G.

Let's face it you guys!

It's an elite club and none of us are invited unless we win or place in a top competition or know someone with a viable connectation to HW, BH or money.

Qwestion #1

How many thousands of us pay to get read and potentially sold?

Answear #1

Over four thousand entered and lost every dime of their entry fee to the Nicholls last year alone, me included.

Qwestion #2

How many of us entered our hard work in competitions besides Nicholls last year?

Answear #2

All of the above and then some!

You see, getting paid by writers (as well as neophytes.) with stars in their eyes; is a multi-million dollar business these days!

Qwestion #3

Would any of you like your name in the credits of my next indy film for only fifty per each credit that you yourself make up?

Answear #3

(Enter your specific credit here then send the money to the po box listed in my profile.)

Imaybegettingwellsoonly,

D.G. Balazs Pres. & CEO TROGLODYTE FILMS

The dangling carrot wiggles,

While fake contest boy giggles.

When on earth will there ever be,

A real producer calling me?

First I take the time to swallow,

Then spend my nights in woe and wallow.

Fifties from my pockets flow,

In hopes of hitting big-time dough.

(Hey Mr. Lee Alan! How's this for a kiddie poem?)

Did I win yet?

Is there some genius out there with goodies on the litany of scammers and jammers?

It seems that a comprehensive list may prove useful to all of us aspirants.

Well?

D.G.

Wow! Ask and ye shall receive! Thanks!!!

=Hey=hey=Paula!

Just kidding! I saw the Annette Funicello story on Biography the other night and couldn't resist writing that!

Thanks for the web site info, your genius is still intact!

What I envisioned was a list that encompasses the scum that waste our time or those financially prurient sleezeballs who prey on all of us "screenwriters." But the enormity of the website alone kind of scared me. Particularly some of those bastards that have made millions off of thousands. It's absolutely incredible and if they've made that much money, I'm sure they could put a contract out on just about anybody. Wow, we really do have to be carefull!

What I didn't see over there was any of the names that have been exposed by the ever vigilant writers & readers who frequent this board. (ie Chadwick & Gross, etc.)

I wonder if Fred has an easy way to compile a list from the archives? At least the most recent revelations about "so called producers and agents" would be of enormous help to those that come here in the future, as well as those who don't have the capability to dig back.

Oh yeah, are you single?

Yours, D.G.

Hey Michele! Good going!! Sundance!!!

Copyrighted, right?

Have you tried the zoetrope site for submission and feedback. You may look into it at http://www.zoetrope.com/

It takes a little getting into but it's not 65 dollars either, or fifty and if it's really, really your lucky day you'll get the feedback and contacts who may help you analyze your work.

Get on the stick! This may be just opportunity you've been working so hard for all these years!

Go! D.G.

Go with the user friendly button Fred!

Everyone who scrolls for tidbits of helpful info will use it to determine what the general consensus is on each particular avenue then be greatful for not having to waste dollars and time!

D.G.!

P.S. You've helped a lot already and don't you ever forget it!

To paraphrase and old mogul;

Don't worry what the critics say - Write what people want to see. Whatever reads the smoothest might work too.

Goingly,

D.G.

Hey Christian!

Have you looked at the Zoetrope site yet?

If not, GO!

D.G.

Hey Coogan!!

You need contacts to be successful!

Everything else is hard work for the pleasure of piling up stacks and stacks of rejection letters in boxes and boxes and boxes!

People with lousy ideas and no script get in the door all the time, simply because of the right connections.

Make one or two if you haven't any already, or you're in for a long NO!

Sincerely,

D.G.

Be carefull!!

Does this big prod/co say they are big or do you have corroborating independent evidence that they are?

A lot of shady people prey on the newbies with slick mailings and xeroxed letters from "clients".

Don't pay anybody a dime. You are the one looking to get paid! If you need or want feed back from mostly incredibly helpful and some not so, try the zoetrope website. As long as your stuff's copyrighted and best of all -- It's free!

GO! D.G.

Right on Ehren! You da' man!

How's the beach Greg?

Ain't too hot up here in the cave yet, at least not hot enough to come down out of the hills to the icy cold y'all come hithers of the Pacific.

Oops, got a trout on the line! Dinner.

D.G.

Well said Senor Greenberg!

It seems that your reality is based on your thought waves. When you bleat, you rapidly become a sheep or goat.

When you beat your chest like Tarzan you instantly transmogrify into "King of the Jungle".

It's a wonder what you can do with thoughts alone. We might look into ourselves and realize that for all the scared cows out here, none is better or worse than you or I but in the mind of the whole entity we are each other.

Like it or not all you Nazi bastards and race baiters out there!

GONE! D.G.

Hey Sondra,

Absolutley nothing, they just think they do. Bastards!

D.G.

To thine ownself be true.

Frederick Mensch mentioned that he might create a button by each competition to give the prospective enterer the chance to review feedback from others. Pro/Con.

If he hasn't got it all nailed down yet then it might be prudent to limit the skinny to posters who submit a bio in order to weed out the numbskulls and of course the nefarious who dwell in the land of phonies making monies.

What do you all think?

D.G.

What about downloading a shit load of quality specs from Drew's and reading them?

Specific rules in writing often inhibit the newcomers and text book applications are very arbitrary in despensing "up to the minute" universal-industry-wide accepted variations.

Three act structure is proven but how does one "prove" an art form?

The point is to write what you feel strongest about which subsequently, helps it flow for the reader too.

Write what means the most and you'll succeed where others only find rejection, financial ruin and disease.

Have a nice day!!!!

D.G.

What about ...

... Screenwriter's never get any respect unless; they win an Oscar...

... then immediately turn back to disrespect.

The Zoetrope site is fantastic for the novice as well as the professional!

If you get UNFAIRLY flamed by a crit, the webmaster is very proactive to delete that sort of thing.

It's not just a bunch of nobodies either. They all write or wanna' write and are eager to get their work in front of the right sets of eyes.

It's important to mention, if you copyright the work, no one can "steal" it.

I just finished reading Orwell's "1984" which he wrote in 1949, and if you think "stealing" then George Lucas is a thief with his "THX-1138"! Not entirely of course, just some points, which of course is what all writer's do when reading or watching other's works, they form their own ideas as related to the specific work they're reading/watching.

That's not to say that we all go and write a story based on everything we see, it means that we transmogrify everything we do experience into our stories, giving each one our own inimitable blood, sweat & tears.

There are no original ideas, simply different ways of showing them, hopefully yours is in a unique voice that transcends the poo.

If not, well, the planet needs ditch-diggers too!!!

A thick skin also helps to take the abuse of ne'er-do-wells, striving to be heard in cyberspace instead of the real world.

Remember that your vision is yours! You make it what it is, regardless of what your Mom or Dad or best Friend says!!

It's not marketable unless it's readable and a lot of screenplays of the Zoetrope site are UN-READABLE but fortunately, there are a lot of Prod/Cos perusing the site, so I implore you to do the right thing and make sure your script is PERFECTLY POLISHED before you submit, that way you can be assured that your name won't get listed somewhere as an obvious neophyte.

Now GO!!!!D.G.

Ahhh, disseminating critiques, an art form within itself!

GET GOING!!!D.G.

Our current project slated to begin principle filming in May, 2000.

"What if Huck Finn, Becky Thatcher & Tom Sawyer were reincarnated and landed in the last weekend of Summer 1969? What if Injun' Joe showed up too, along with one of Kelly's Hero's?"

All are invited to find out at the Zoetrope screenplay site through Aug.16 and as always your comments will be appreciated!!

GO!

D.G. Balazs - Pres. & CEO

troglodyte films PO BOX 1092 MI WUK, CA 95346 (209) 785-0600 E-mail dgarthb@yahoo.com

Go get a digital video camera and make the thing yourself if you're that serious!!!!

That way you'll have something to show/tell your grandkids besides how much of a loser you are!!!

(JOKE)

Sometimes it takes millions of years to get a script made by Hollywood and with the new digital revolution, there'll be a whole lotta' crap being submitted. So unless you plan on gettin' reincarnated that many times, make it yourself.

It's some of the most exasperating fun you'll ever experience.

If your stuffs got that extra something, then voila' you're a genius!!

Desire rules all paths to glory. --D.G. Balazs

Dearest Timmy!!

Clearly you missed the one for THE GOLDEN STANDARD by D.G. Balazs too!!!

The site is chuck full of neophytes and worse but it also contains some of the best work I've read in years.

The trick is to be very open minded and realize that searching the rough for diamonds is exactly what every single agent in the business is engaged in right now.

If yer' shit's good enough to escape the savage know-it-alls that have authored poo and review yours to get theirs on the site, then yes you will find poo-poo reviews. But if your stuff's as good as it can be and you desire the chance to have some prod/co's reader download it, just make sure you got the thing polished & copyrighted.

Also, there are very helpful PROFESSIONALS hanging out there and I for one value their opinions as much as any I've experienced in the last twenty years of writhing. (Yes, writhing!!)

Good luck to you and yours,

GONE FISHIN'!!!D.G.

Steadily gaining momentum ...

Hey John!

The PRICE IS WRONG!!!

D.G.

Hey TIMMY!

It's all subjective man! The needs of the studios big and small ebb & flow like everything else on this orb,

but it is very important to submit POLISHED WORK!!!!

Personally, I learned so much on my first draft posted at the AZ-site, that I was very glad with those who trashed what I thought to be commercially viable work.(Unmercifully, I do say!)

After doing the footwork this summer, we (troglodyte films) decided to shoot it for less than 50k; utilizing the new tech sweeping the indy-stry.

The naysayers and neophytes who are so self absorbed that they hurriedly trash a script to "get it out of the way" at the AZ site, soon fall by the wayside and are of no importance to you as a writer.

I posted THE GOLDEN STANDARD on the AZ site with the express admonition that it's gonna' be filmed starting in May 2000 and I STILL got one bozo after another tellin' me it "can't be done!"

Bullshit, it's practically in the freakin' can, man!!!

On the strength of my vision, other's enthusiasm and a tightknit group of dirtpoor pigfarmers, we've found and unknown yet talented group of individuals who strive to achieve; instead of snivel about what can or can't be done.

We're actually gonna' pull it off.

As for taking it easy on bad writers with bad scripts, be as honest as possible and the writer will be better off for YOUR honest effort.

If it makes their day or dampens it makes no difference as long as your truest desire is to help the individual without dis-embowling them at the same time, which, as you probably know, is called diplomacy.

Have a heart for the impaired but help those who truly will benefit.

THE END!!! D.G.

Personally, I'd be so freakin' happy that the right sets of eyes deemed fit enough, a work of mine, to spend umpteen million to make it. I'd roll over in pig-poop to re-write it twelve hundred times as long as I got paid!!!!!

Any writer eating tuna salad, casserole, macaroni, sandwiches, a la can will do the same!!!

The one's makin' mega in Hollywood aren't gonna' say no to millions no matter how well fed they are!!!

To the BANK is GOAL!!!D.G.

And YO MAMA!!

THE MATRIX on your list deepens your shallowness!!! (JOKE)

REVIEWS are the opinions of people who in the most part have the map but are not able to follow directions well enough to realize it's their OWN TAIL!!

GO!!!DO!!!D.G.

Dearest Zaza!!

We all need luck from those who are on our side. Truly the enlightened will shift the minds of naysaying to yea-saying and return our lost Nirvana once and for all.

P.S. If you desire a copy of the financial details and limited partner contract, let me know!

To EVERYONE ELSE!!!

Mind your thoughts because when you think it, it's DONE!!

Be very careful and we'll all benefit!

ALL OF US!!!!

GOIN' TO BREATHE the same air!!!D.G.

PURE ADOLESCENT FANTASY!!!

Cheese AND Rice!!!!!

A group of indy artists do a gimmick flick for less than 30k, gross over 5 mill the first big weekend, another 20 mill once it's released in more theaters!!! WOW!!!

This is a great country. All anybody needs is a gimmick.

I know, I'll go chain myself to the front gates of one of the big studios with seceral large padlocks and a lot of handcuffs, while making sure to show the 20 sticks of red road flares duct taped to my Mickey-mouse alarm clock and throw my scripts at the bomb squad and swat teams as they arrive.

I'll not surrender til the studio makes my EPIC MASTERPIECE!!!

That'll show all those who told me, "No."

Look out Commander Kong! D.G.'s on the way!!!

YEEEHAAAAHHHHH!!!!!D.G.

Hey P.J.!!!!

If it's assciated with Janice Pennington and Carlos Abreu, me thinks it's just another clever ploy to keep them in the style of which they have grown accustomed.

Haven't seen or heard any good stories coming from this except several authored and huckstered by Abreu.

Don't send money!!!!

GOT ME TWICE!!!D.G.

... because I don't use any gratuitous SEX in my newest BLOCKBUSTER SP going up on the ZOETROPE website SOON!!

EONS

"What happens when you find an ancient time capsule that details a "society" just like today's, only it was five and a half billion years ago?

What if this "society" caused the BIG-BANG and you've got the power of positive thinking to stop it from happening all over again?"

THINK;

Opposite of ARMAGEDDON & DEEP IMPACT

All are welcome to peruse this original, copyrighted SP at the ZOETROPE site SOON!

It's a BIG BUDGET FEATURE for BIG ACTORS and BIG ACTRESSES and a BIG DIRECTOR at a BIG STUDIO with a BIGGER BUDGET and BIG CINEMATOGRAPHER along with a lil' ol' meek unassuming unknown writer-caveman!

GO! YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!!!D.G.

Just a note:

Several real prod/co's have been scanning the site, so if your stuff is up to snuff it matters not the "200 worders" that give bogus reviews.

The webmaster Tom Edgar happily expunges queer reviews and puts a foot down when idiots abound.

The main thing is to post a polished script on site to ensure a full read if a prod/co hits on your bait.

GOT BAIT?????D.G.

Hey MARLIN!!!!

"That's the spirit. Nothing ventured nothing gained." said the Big Fish.

GOT SCRIPT!!!!!D.G.

Sorry about the shallow inuendo lead in of my previous post. I oughtta' know writer's aren't the laschivious lechers everybody thinks they are, sorry.

"EONS" is live on the ZOETROPE site, so go and have a laugh or two on me, my treat, my tab on the house!

GO GET EONS YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID!!!

WRITING a GOOD SP IS HARD!!!!!

If you write a knock out SP; the reviews reflect that fact.

If you get crummy or few reviews, 9 times out of 10 it's because the reader "wants" his limit of 4 to jump into the fray or just didn't read the script fully and insists on regurgitating some noephytical "advice" to "help" the writer.

As such, these neophytes reveal themselves quite clearly when you glance at their first ten pages, if you can make it that far. Some REALLY SUCK!

FORMAT and TECHNIQUES to allow the readers eyes to flow with a smooth encouraging text and hopefully, STORY, will allow your work to be read and reviewed by some VERY-VERY talented and EXPERIENCED WRITERS!

If you poo-poo what works to get PRO scripts read by a Prod/CO then your script will just generate more poo-poo. Toughen the skin and do your best and if you discover your "best" lacks what it takes, either keep trying or dig ditches!

I THINK THEREFORE I GO!!!!D.G.

(EONS is live on site!)

In my newest SP titled EONS which is live at the zoetrope site.

Is this WAY TOO OVERBOARD?

MILDLY OVERBOARD?

Cliche or lame?

Bound to get my ass-kicked SOON?

I don't think so! Not if you can laugh.

What do YOU THINK?

GOTTA' KNOW!!!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

Take it from Allen Glazier, someone who reads hundreds in not millions of SP's a year!!

Your readers eyes and brain deserve some respect and SUPERFLUOUS (Beat)'s tend to inspire a different type of pounding. Like on the writer's head after the hundreth un-needed pointer!

GOT THINK??!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

Thanks for the input!

Did you happen to read the script?

If not, then 'tis wiser to reserve thy negativity until ye are educated in the facts.

If there's anything that galls me, it's critics that criticize work they've only HEARD about.

Go READ it then commence with the wrathful sniping if you must.

As for the heading, I had my friend J.D. write it and he has phrase specific dyslexia.

It ACTUALLY READS:

Militant Lesbian Anarchists in the SP.

Where's your sense of humor?

Do you have one?

I do, so lighten up and if you desire a thought provoking read as well as a laugh or two, then go get EONS!

(My sister is a militant lesbian and she told me I'd be sure to get my ass kicked if I used this small bit in my SP. So if you do "GO" there and read EONS, please ignore the reference to the above and insert "spastic moronic gene splicers" instead as a re-write!:)

GONE FISHIN' WITH CUT BAIT!!!!D.G.

All ENTIRELY valued and lucent opinions.

Thank you all! That's why I came here; To bounce some shit around and see what sticks.

Mr. SAMSON! You go right a head and pass but make sure you tell everybody whn it gets made and is a HIT!

Ms. CODY! Sorry to offend thee!

The rest of you I wish nothing but happiness and sparkley eyed beautiful, blissful contentment in all YOUR endeavours.

Walk-walk? Talk-talk? Gag me!

What if a writer asked for opinions and nobody came?

The work speaks on many levels.

EONS is destined to be a classic!!

BOAT MISSERS!!!!D.G.

Me too!!

DEAR YA'LL!!!

Please let me address a few here that've missed the points.

MS. CODY specifically:

I'm sorry I wasn't able to make YOU laugh. Truly I am. But a writer can't please everyone and my intention is to REACH the reachable. Although I truly do believe impossible heights aren't.

MR. ELLIS SAMSON:

My bridge burning to you is full on construction and creation to others. If YOU read the script, YOU have to realize I'VE been around long enough to KNOW who YOU ARE! As well as everyone else. WE ARE EACH OTHER and the sooner you remember THAT, then maybe your company will transcend rumor elbow rubbing the elite and become enlightened ...

I'll WORK for whoever PAYS MOST!!!

IF YOU DON'T PAY I WON'T PLAY!!!!D.G.

(As for EONS, we're talkin' ...)

HEY ARRON!!!

Make sure you got 'em copyrighted 1st!!

LOOKOUT TROMA!!!!!D.G.

HEY DAVID G.!!!

Any relation to KENNY G.?(Joke)

When did I ever resort to murder or arson to get atention?

NEVER!

I write it instead of "doing" it, savvy?

My SP-- EONS has been reviewed several times already and just like the EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES, the enlightened "get it" and the others are in need of their particular burning bush or whatever to clear the trees out of their ruts.

EONS has been likened to --

"IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD" meets "2001" meets DR. STRANGELOVE"

It's also been trashed and smashed because it's --

"Not funny" and it's been labeled --

"Amateurish" because I let the neophytes know it's copyrighted on the final page!

Needless to say, I'm ecstatic about every review, "good or bad".

Why? Because I LOVE to entertain!!

ANY FEEDBACK TELLS ME IT WORKS!!!D.G.

EONS

is currently live at AZ but may be pulled due to the extensive interests generated so far.

Some lucky PROD/CO is gonna' hit the JACKPOT!

THANKS FER GOIN'!!!!D.G.

"All is not lost - the unconquerable will,

And study of revenge, immortal hate,

And courage never to submit or yield:

And what is else not to be overcome?

-- PARADISE LOST

Hey R STEELE!!!

Ahhh, the anonymous purring of a neophyte, music, sweet music.

D.G.

Saturn's # is (310) 887-0900

Hey ERIC!

You make a good point, pointier! Ouch! Quit it!

Did you ever hear about the stuntman from out of town?

He couldn't get a meeting with anybody, so he climbed out the window on the sixth floor of a prominent Agency on Wilshire and knocked on the window to "get" the attention of the stunt co-ordinator and producer who were meeting inside.

The guy got the job.

Where there's a will ...

GO IN PEACE!!!!D.G.

Hey SCOTTIE!!

Dude, your jealousy is showing.

Do your worst as far as a review goes.

You can't hurt a masterpiece!

Snipe all you want, it pleases me and shows the work has punched some of your buttons.

Neophytical? Honesty? Truth?

All in your mind?

SPECIAL PEOPLE GO!!!D.G.

Hey ERIC!!

When I started selling paperclips and seeds at the age of seven, I found that you have to knock on a lot of doors in order to sell just one.

This forum is but one door and I'll keep knocking on all the others as well, until my Mother's mortgage is paid off. Until then, here's to another can of 49 cent tuna!

Many eat only crow.

Thanks for your support.

GOT ENTHUSIASMS?!!!D.G.

Hey SCOTTIE!!

Just read your bio on IMDB and now I know why you didn't like EONS>

Not enough stunts!!!!

We can fix that! Comments?

GOTTA FALL TO WALK!!!!D.G.

Hey MISTY!

EONS has been pulled from the AZ site due to interested parties requests to do so. Shoot me an e-mail if you'd like an update in the future.

Thanks for your interest!! D.G.

THANKS TO ALL WHO GO THERE!

We hope you have fun!

GOT POSITIVE THOUGHTS???D.G.

Hey PJ!

You have them in there somewhere.

I am sure of it, 100%!!!

Please let me know if you have any trouble finding them. Call collect!!

GOT PLENTY!!!D.G.

Hey L!

Not sure. What have you tried so far?

If you can't get it after trying again, E-mail me and I'll try to help you get it.

HOPE YOU GOT PERSEVERANCE!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!

This is just terrific! It's a great feeling to know that there is a definite sort of camaraderie between those of us who are really trying to follow our particular highest path.

Even those naysayers and malcontents serve their own particular nooks and crannies well.

Kudos to all who try, even though the prurient and misguided sots always wind up and and let go; ever trying to sock the tryer!!

Thanks for all of it!!!

GOT FRATERNITY!!!!D.G.

Dearest Shelley,

The first real drama coach in my short existence told me to play it completely low-key or utterly overboard as there is a vast wasteland of in-betweens.

Personally, I'll keep going til there's enough to pay my Mom's mortgage.

Then you'll probably never hear from me again.

Now "they" really got something to shoot for, huh?

GONNA GET UN-MORTGAGED!!!D.G.

Anybody got a clue?

D.G.

HEY!

Is that NESDON BOOTH the FOYE?

And if it is, we got a job for you!

EONS is on the AZ SP site!

What do you think?

GOT MULCH?!?!D.G.

Hey AARON BEACH!

Thanks fer the encouraging words man!

Raising kids an' a fambly's gotta be the toughest thing on earth do do well.

You and your significant other have my blessings and thoughts of well being and success, whatever you deem fit for you and yours that is.

WE'LL GET THERE YET!!!!D.G.

P.S. That Leonard dude got punched up on the IMDB and cuz he was in MALCOLM X and PENN & TELLER GET KILLED, he must KNOW what he's saying, right?

Too bad he doesn't know what he's talkin' 'bout!! A-ha-ha-ha-huh?

Lynn's striptorama? (Joke)

It's still not working for me.

I get the backround for a second then everything goes gray and I get the following message:

document.write1n("");document.close();

Whatever that means.

Maybe my PC's been hacked or my servers got ricketts?

GOT ANSWERS??D.G.

We've captured D.G. in his cave.

It took us three months to do it but me and my brother Buck did it. D.G.'s been taking people's scripts and sending them to big studios on fraudulently obtained stationary and trying to pass them off as his own.

Buck's been cracking him with a big stick for almost 24 hrs. What do you think we oughtta' do with his carcass, when we're done?

Hurry, I think we're being watched by his cult or something!

Blaire W. Iche

ps. We beat his passwords out of him and he's almost escaped twice! Slippery!!

THANKS TO WHOEVER CALLED 911 !!!!!

I've been rescued!

Blaire W. & Buck Iche are dead!

After escaping three times only to be re-caught, I thought I was done for!

Whoever it was that called 911, let me know and I'll send an autographed copy of

EONS

"A story that'll make you laugh, think and hopefully, cry."

GET IT NOW WHILE SUPPLIES LAST AT AZ!!!

Hey shit head!

Lots 'n lots of ways to skin cats.

A big guy relating one on a new website is one.

Another is confidence, another perseverance, another unrelenting opposition to sef proclaimed anonymous experts.

GO BLAH YERSELF!!!!D.G.

CHEESE & RICE!!!

All I'm trying to do is get my work in front of the right sets of eyes in several different arenas, not just the web.

If your eyes arent' them then I apologize for affecting you adversely. I've got no room being mean or spiteful.

Bless you all for writing and commenting and all your helpful thoughts, bon-mots and hot-shots.

When we don't care enough to respond to adverse conditions the world ends up like it is right now; On the verge of collapse.

EONS is, was and will continue to be my divine inspiration to try and help counter-act the negativity, greed and apathetic moles to come out of their holes and "see" what's going down in there sloth and repel that sloth.

If the shoe fits, wear it.

If it doesn't then maybe you "are" part of the solution.

I'm for a better world and in this cynical bullshit blowhard society it seems self promotion is the best way to get people to stop, look and listen.

No one forced anyone to read my posts.

If you are lucky, you did. If you taste bad things after reading EONS or anything else I've written, maybe I've accomplished something, maybe not.

In the scheme of things it probably matters not, the main thing is that I did what I felt needed to be done in order to be able to live with myself, had I stood along the sidelines doing nothing I'd be better off dead.

Now, Im going deer hunting and salmon fishing and will be out of the loop.

If you have a specific problem that I may be able to help you with or clarify, then drop me a note.

po box 1092 MI WUK, CA 95346

As far as name calling goes, like I said, if the shoe fits, I'm an asshole and all around idiot futher-mucker!

GOT BLAH-BLAH??!?!?!!!D.G>

Wow!

A guy goes huntin' & fishin', drops into his local library to check e-mail and ends up readin' about how much self-promotion and callous disregard for neophytes is taboo?

FOUR POINT BUCKS = 0 D.G. Balazs = 1

Yes, this means I can eat this winter something besides rice & beans & tuna fish caserole!

Goin' fer the Chinooks up in Oregon now.

Can't wait to get my hooks wet!!

D.G. desires no support.

Comaraderie, pot-shots and just plain old communication works wonders when your budget is shoestrings.

Hope to see all of you at the Oscars some night in March, except the weenies.

You know who you are!!!

GOIN NORTH!!!!D.G.

HEY RON!!!

How's this for snappy?

Ideas? I got a million ideas! How about a million dollars to film them with, then we can collaborate on your story! After we get this one in the can!

WHERE'RE ALL THE ANGELS?D.G.

HEY RON!!!

How's this for snappy?

Ideas? I got a million ideas! How about a million dollars to film them with, then we can collaborate on your story, after we get this one in the can!

WHERE'RE ALL THE ANGELS?D.G.

Is Hollywood going for real true-life Psycho-Killer-Thrillers?

Am I just spinning my wheels? What do those of YOU, who have 45 minutes and access to AZ, think?

No need to review it formally, just give it a peek and let me know what YOU think!:)

HERE'S SOME PEACE, PLEASURE, JOY!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS!!!! & GALS!!!!!!

"Caveat Emptor" as GREG BRADY so eloquently put it.

The simple fact is that more money is made each year off of "aspiring" screenwrters who pay to play; than the sum total of all WGA affiliated writers paydays put together!

You get what you pay for. My suggestion is just that, stick with your work until it's the best it can be, then sennd it to the big four -- DISNEY, NICHOLL, AUSTIN, SLAMDANCE.

If you got you shit together, eventually you'll come out smelling like a rose, regardless of who you "perceive" to be victimizing you currently.

GO HAVE FUN!!!!D.G.

done been there

Sound advice from one and all. The detachment thing works because that's the way the universe works.

The follow up works cuz the prod/co's and agents are SWAMPED with newbies and neophytes. Polish is in the pudding, then hurry up and wait.

GO THE PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE!!!!D.G.

"He lined up each successive failure like they were dominoes. Each standing within falling distance of the other, end on end, prepared for yet another ride down, only this time in a "group" effort.

A very negative symphony, orchestrated by the inevitable gravity that always wins.

THE QUIET KILLER is a true story about a writer, (DON BROOKS) who quits tobacco and chain-eats candy to make up for the addiction-hand-mouth-thingy.

He licks an ANT ENCRUSTED HOOPTY-POP and is immediately plunged into acute horrible ant-mares that result in insomnia induced hallucinations and the waking sensation of bugs crawling all over his body.

Don imagines the HOOPTY-POP COMPANY is out to get him, (Which it is, due to the mutli-million dollar lawsuit for product liability his best friend and lawyer push him to file.) and doesn't want to go down in the tabloids as THE HOOPTY-ANT-BOY, so he hides and writes a script that he ends up directing as well.

When Don's best friend and lawyer get murdered by "accident" Don represents himself in court but the crooked judge decides the HOOPTY case against Don without a jury.

Don Brooks unexpectedly wins a record number of Oscars with the movie but instructs his agent, " ... not to make any deals ..." with the people who snubbed him when he was just another nobody with a screenplay.

Don goes off to film his next movie but takes off for a few days every month to "re-write", but he actually diguises himself and gets close to everyone involved in the "HOOPTY CONSPIRACY" and surreptitiously slips a little something in their food and kills them, quietly.

This is my true story. It happened exactly the way it was written, except for the killings, I never killed anybody, I swear it!!!!D.G.

LIVE at AZ or contact:

D.G. Balazs (209) 785-0600 troglodytefilms@yahoo.com

or for a hard please request via e-mail

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

Considering the big prod/co's and producers are as busy as everyone else these days, they won't even look at a script unless it's accompanied by an agent known to them personally or referred by someone they know.

If you do beat the odds and win one of the big contests then you've got the goods. If you can't even place, then re-write it until you do, or find something else to drive yourself crazy with, like underwater basket weaving with weights.

GOTTA LOVE 'EM EVEN THOUGH WE DON'T!!!D.G.

According to the experts, as of Winter 1999, there are 3 billion Woman in need on the planet.

So why's it so hard to find one intelligent enough to realize that ALL these contests, with the veritable exception of about 3 or 4 are diametrically opposed to anything but making money for the contest organizers?

That being said, I wish all of you writers the best and encourag you to read as many SP's as you can and polish your stuf before it goes in front of anyone's eyes, especially a potential buyer!!!

GOT WHERE I AM WITH SHEER JOY AND DETERMINATION!!!D.G.

... and unless the SP is going to a Prod/Co then it may be useless to use either. I suggest you use them sparingly unless you're already an established writer.

It's important to make the FLOW of your work as easy to get through as watching the movie itself, flawlessly. If you add all the BS the books and "teachers" tell you to, most writers break out the form letter to "Dear Screenwriter ... Signed, The Submissions Dept."

That includes superfluous SLUGS, BEATS, SLUGS that say, moments later, days later, continuous, etc. and Especially, CUT TO & CONTINUED, aaaccckkk!

Writers MUST be aware and persevere, unless your uncle is Francis Ford!!!

DUH-YUP-YUP-GO!!!D.G.

"... most READERS ... "

YUP-YUP-IT'S-A-DOGGY!!!D.G.

... and if you aren't sure, find someone with one and take the weekend and put the XL-1 or Sony through it's paces, if you can't do that, then all the prep and subjective cost comparison is moot!!!

The main thing is to entertain, and if it's a good story and visually appealing, you can make it with a note-pad and pencils, and people will still flock to see it!!!

GO OUT AND DIGITIZE YOYR VISIONS!!!D.G.

HEY RANDY!

You got the POWER DUDE!! You sound like the Sylvester Stallone for the 21st Century!!!

Hope your shoot works out swell. We're doing about the same thing up here in the boonies, except my face ain't getting in front of no cameras!

After studying acting for twenty years, I realized that it's more fun to write & direct. Why? Virtually no down time unless I say so, and I'd end up being in the right place at the "right" time and I'd never get another moment of time in public alone!!!

May you achieve your highest path to your highest sense of who you are!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS!!!D.G.

HEY LONELY-BOY!!!

You are in the right place at the right time. Don't waste money on any script doctors, competitions, or postage until you've gone to one of many sites that contain PRODUCED MOVIE SCRIPTS.

The best one I've found so far is:

www.dailyscript.com

Go there and read what it takes to do it WRITE, not one or two, read ten or twenty!!!

When your script flows the way the pros do, then jump into the fray. You'll save time, money, frustration and quite possibly your mind, if you heed me!!!

If you prefer to discuss this further, drop me and E-mail anytime and I'll do what I can to help, but I won't waste your time, or allow you to waste mine.

GOOD LUCK!!!D.G.

HEY JASON!!

You've got a good point about the AZ site and are correct about the many sizes of writers who go there, unfortunately, you also mentioned to take the comments with a grain of salt.

What's the point of going there to work and get feedback if you take it with a grain of salt?

If you get one of the habitual or occasional grouse artists yeah, but there are a great deal of writers who actually give (and get) the salient points.

Get the bait down write before you cast for the big fish!!!

AZ can help you do that!!!

GOOD GOLLY GUYS/GALS!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

VERY, VERY SALIENT POINTS INDEED, I stand corrected.

As with every artform, the critiques vary from one point of view to another and just about everything in between.

If you wrtie what you know and stick to the "reels" in your minds eye, then take the thing and put it in a highly readable format, YOU ARE GOING TO FIND AN AUDIENCE!!!

If YOU can't put it into a form that every tired over-wrought/worked reader at every Studio or Prod/Co can readily flip through and be satisfied they just SAW the movie they read, then eventually, you'll rise above the prolific flotsam and jetsam clogging the paths to our own individual glories.

BE GOOD TO YOURSELF AND PREPARE TO GET LUCKY!!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALZ!!!

They keep e-mailing me and trying to sell me consulting and subscriptions to their wonderful service. As I've been actively marketing my stuff for five years now, it's obvious to me that they're going for all your extra cash!

GO THERE AND BEWARE!!!D.G.

ROTFLOL!!!

HEY MIRIAMI!!!

Sorry it took so long to answer you, I've been incommunicado for a few weeks.

If Chesterfield's your choice for fourth, then it's because you've heard great things right?

Just between you and me, I've just nixed Slamdance as they're just too pricey these days. P.S. Nicholl's reduced theirs by $5.00!!!!

GET GOING WITH YOUR GOODS!!!D.G.

HEY UNCERTAIN-BOY!!!

Rest assured, you've chanced upon one of the hottest sites for first timers!

I submitted thrice and was requested to submit once. That was three weeks ago and I'm still waiting to hear the "good news"!!!

GOOD LUCK = 99% PREPARATION!!!!D.G.

HEY MADE-MARIAN!!!

I've hovered for almost two years and they are very helpful at times. Here especially, as well as AZ and jungle and others. My fave is thedailyscript.com they got the good-goods!

GOOD LUCK IN THE COMPS!!!!D.G.

HEY D.B. COOPER!!!

Make sure your stuff is polished and easy for a weary readers eyes to zip through before you submit anything!!!!

If you can't read it aloud without stopping, then it's not polished enough.

Have some actor friends come over and read it aloud, you'll see what I mean.

Weary readers throw stuff out by the ton, but if it's polished, it just may end up on film instead.

GO FORTH NAD, PROSPER!!!!D.G.

P.S. thedailyscript.com will help a vast amount, if you go there already, nevermind.

HEY MIRIAMI-SOUND-MACHINE!!!

http://www.dailyscript.com/

GOOD GOING!!!D.G.

HEY SANG-SUNG-BLUE!!!

Don't feed any pinapple juice to babies either, it burns there little esophageal passageways and may cause them to bleed to death!!!

(Ask me how my sister dances.)

GOTTA BE MORE CAREFUL!!!D.G.

HEY DIVINE MS. M!!!

Your wish is my pleasure to manifest with thought alone ...

... speaking of thoughts, you wrote that you usually "hate" ...

... tsk, tsk, tsk. Not a judgement, an observation I've been afforded explictly proves to me that the visualization cause the manifestation, so, as they say, be careful what you "think" cause it may just cause that butterfly in Paris to make a half-hearted flap instead of a full flap and manifest beautiful weather to the end of days. (Hee-haw-Hooey!!!)

GO FORTH NAD MULTI-PLEX!!!D.G.

AHOY VEY Y'ALL!!!

Cheese & RICE!!! INZIDE passed on EONS but that's okay cuz it's more up DREAMWORKS' alley anyway. Bigger budget{:o)>

Anyway, we DO have other offers in the offing, in the off-chance SK&G pass.

GOOD LUCK TO ONE AND ALL!!!D.G.

(But mostly to the new writers who MUST GO to: www.dalyscript.com IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go there to read and grasp your potential with two fists of total empowerment and your innate sense of creativity!!!

(Just don't try to "steal" anything cuz the victim will be YOU!!!!)

HEY MS. McQUEEN!!!

... unless inhibiting Parisian butterfly wings is your "special purpose"!!!

Who knows what each of us is here to be this time around? WE DO, deep inside.

Nice to run into like minded souls in cyber-space, ain't it?

GOT CHA-CHA!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GALS/GUYS!!!

Did you note that the dime she used to pay Leo to paint her portrait was a MERCURY DIME?

They weren't minted until ...

... FOUR YEARS LATER!!!

GOTTA DISLIKE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!D.G.

HEY RICHARD G.!!!

So I made what is generally regarded as a mistake by pointing that out?

I may have botched that one, but I didn't waste taxpayer's money to go after people who might've killed Kennedy!

YOU'LL GET 'EM YET!!!D.G.

HEY RICHARD GATLING-GUN!!!

I was sucking tit!!!

GOT A LIL' GOO-GOO THAT DAY!!!D.G.

HEY JAR-EL: FATHER OF MAN OF STEEL!!!

For some strange reason, I wasn't able to resist the urge to faux-bon-mot-pas!!

I shall re-double my efforts and endeavor to persevere with my lifelong pursuit of the whole person's hloy grail of personal spiritual enlightenment, which is:

1) To entertain.

2) To possibly make someone think.

3) To make you laugh.

GOT BANANA PEEL W/YOUR NAME ON IT!!!D.G.

INT. CABIN - DAY

DG looks up from his computer screen and scrunches his nose. He pulls out his dictionary and flips to the mid N's.

DG - Damn! There's no noir here! Shit!

He plummets headlong into the plate glass coffee table, smashes it and slices his throat. He tries desperately to write something with blood on the white carpet.

DG - Must be french ...

He expires.

FADE OUT

B-L-U-N-T

I-N-S-T-R-U-M-E-N-T

HEY WEDDING SINGER!!!

I LOVE THAT ANALOGY!!!

Especially the part about Britney Spears!

Thanks for the re-institution of my favorite mental picture!!(When she turns 18 that is!!Hah!!:O!!

GET ILL-GOTTEN GOODY!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

The simple fact is there are a lot of movies being made today that every single writer has written with a specific message or messages in them. All start out as great scripts that not only sell/smell/pale in comparison to others, they get made whatever they end up being!

What's the point of writing the most thought-provoking, Earth-saving, Peace is all there is, type of work when it is probably not going to get made?

IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD, DO IT!!!

Write from your heart and YOU can't LOSE! Screw the sale!!! If it's good enough, eventually you'll sell it. If not, so what? Just a story! Right?

Write a story with entertaining those who seek an hour or two of "pure escape" and you'll succeed beyond your wildest dreams even if it don't get made, pardners!!!

I write for the specific ages of 9 to 109.

It makes me feel good.

GO LIVE & PROSPER!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

TITANIC pissed me off and I'm jealous of James Cameron because of the 200 million he took to make it!!!

I'll tell you right now, get me 200 mill and I'll make 400 movies that'll not only entertain and enthuse and enlighten, they'll give each and every one of YOU a chance to escape for one and a half to two hours!!!

I guarantee it!!!!

GOT CHEESE NEED RICE!!!D.G.

HEY X-MAN CAROLS!!!

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER sang that song for me when I was a little kid. I'll never forget how I felt as the band played on while the ship sank. I cried!!! (Which also illustrates the point that I tried to make: it doesn't take THAT much money to touch people with piece of work.)

You're right about the bottom line. IT runs the machine at this point and likely will for a long, long time, unless, we as writers, directors, dreamers, schemers and all the rest of humanity with the POWER get with the program and realize that money's a tool to be used to fix the priority problems, not to be foolishly wasted in an attempt to make more of it by staging a big show of unreality.

I mean really, to what end? Who needs that much money? Is it going to get you an E-ticket to Nirvana?

For most people it's going to buy your way into headache and heartache. I'd really dislike to have Mr. Cameron's problems associated with his passionate success. If I happen to make it to where I'm aiming, I'm gonna stay in the backround and refuse any attempt to honor any of my movies with any awards or sensational bullshit because my love & joy is entertaining people with a story, not making millions of dollars and winning 22 Oscars. Simply touching you with a story I wrote or shot is the best thing that'll happen to me and hopefully the crew I start with will be the same one's we finish with in the credits.

Unfortunately, if you remember, when they were still shooting TITANIC, Cameron almost got fired for going so far over budget. To his credit, he was so passionate about finishing what he started, he gave away his "cut". All the while studio heads were gnashing their respective teeth at the "huge mistake" they were making. Low and behold, the movie did what no other ever will: get shot for 200 million dollars and made a billion give or take.

It won't happen again. The studios know it might have gone the other way and failed just as miserably as some predicted it would.

I confess, Cameron's doing what I'd love to; making movies that entertain millions. He's someone so passionate and persevering, that he'd give all monies away in order to make his vision come to the big screen.

That's the kind of chutzpah that gets you where you're going, and where you're at right now. I don't know about you, just me.

I GOT ALL OF IT & NONE OF IT!!!D.G.

HEY JOHN & MCGACK!!!

There's no real definite line drawn anywhere. Generalizations like, "There aren't any good guy movies anymore ..." tends to manifest upon repeating and discussion into popular myth and "all of a sudden" everybody's lamenting the fact.

The next thing you know there's a suport group for people who've been marred by villains who are in a movie!

"Help me!! LEX LUTHOR is being mean to the world and I'm probably next!!!"

The movies John pointed out verify that if you're looking for something in particular and believe it's there then it IS there.

If you use that open mind you've been bestowed with, then you'll see the percieved discrepancy are just that; percieved.

There aren't any good guys or bad guys or good gals or bad gals. Unless you percieve that reality. Lamenting the deficiencies only creates them.

GO WITH YOUR HIGHEST THOUGHT!!!D.G.

P.S. If your highest thought is to be the next Hitler, please disregard or we'll hunt your ass down!!!

HEY JIMMY MAC!!!

Whether I'm right or wrong makes no difference. That doesn't matter in the sleatest. What does matter is that we understand how we manifest reality by thinking it so!

Right JJ? Wrong JJ?

That point is moot if your highest thing is that which envelopes you in happiness...

GO FOR IT!!!D.G.

Unless, it's being Hitler that is.

HEY LENNON-LIME!!!

What tastes bad to you is exactly what clogs the arteries leading to the agents, the studios and the prod/co's.

The trick is to rise above it and go with what makes you happy. If reading drivel to eventually get to what may or may not be what you expected, seems a little bit of a time waster.

If you're in such a hurry to "beat" everyone, maybe you might pass some opportunity that takes years to come to fruition?

Keep an open mind and remember that Zoetrope is a workshop and is meant to help each other with technique as well as STORY. AZ has yet to buy or option anything yet but MGM just signed a 10 picture deal for production and distribution with them so who knows?

Guessing by the caliber of many movies that are actually made today, that one where the kid pulls the gun on the dad on p.25 might just get made!!!

Hope mine do too!

Good Luck on your current project. I hope it pans out all glittery and financially!!!

GO IN PIECES IF YOU MUST!!!D.G.

HEY-HEY-PAULA!!!

Redundancy fits you like a cyberglove!!!

It's good to be reminded that fairer heads prevail!!!

GOT BONK BONKED!!!D.G.

And do it today if you expect to make the deadline!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOBBY!!!

GOT CAKE NEED DEAL!!!D.G.

PA-TION!!!

What if you win? What then? Champaigne? Caviar?

Me? Venison tacos as usual! Maybe a chunk of tomato!! And a glass of O'Doul's!!!

GOT HOPE NEED DEAL!!!D.G.

HEY MRS. WRITE!!!

If you can afford it, GO! It can't possibley hurt, unless you step wrong and twist something or worse?

GOOD WORMS FOR EARLY BIRDS!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

Every competition is entirely about needles in haystacks.

Your work will either get found, or it won't. Hopefully, you'll be able to prick the right finger that's attached to the right sets of eyes sooner than later but barring that, write as much as you can and feel the difference between idleness and creativity.

Ultimate satisfaction is there. If you think not, try another profession!!!

Desire, determination, talent and the ability to learn quickly will get you where you're going, if it's actually your truest and highest desire.

Wants? Don't get me started on wants!!!

WE'RE GOING-HOW 'BOUT YOU!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GALS/GUYS!!!

One of the best writing enhancers is experiencing the dis-illusionment that creeps in when rejected by morons, recruited by capitalists, all brought together by the "Stars".

A simple suggestion:

GO FIND A HOBBY YOU LOVE!!!D.G.

HEY JENNY!!!

The top screenwriting contests are the one's that get the winning SP optioned, sold or produced. (Not necessarily in that order.)

Disney & Nicholl's are definitely on the list, followed by:

Anyone care to do the honors?

GO WITH WHAT'S INSIDE!!!D.G.

HEY YE, HEY YE!!!

I noticed a name in this newest mass mailing endeavor and that name is:

ANNA PIAZZA!

If THAT rings any bells, well, ring-a-ding-dong!!!

(Lot's & lot's of names but little in the way of PULP!)

DO GO BE CAREFUL!!!D.G.

Oooooh, that's what I love!!! Lots of people spending lot's of hard earned and time to get on the ladder that goes straight down to where Hollywood's always been, sucking up the bottom line.

GOTTA LOVE IT'S PERFECTION!!!D.G.

NINE NINE NINE!!!

GET GOO & GO!!!D.G.

Oooooh, it's happening!!!

Oh YEAH!!!

GONNA GET, IT!!!D.G.

Now all we need is a BUYER!!!

Anyone care to read a fun story? It's LIVE at AZ for another week! www.zoetrope.com if you care to!!

A struggling screenwriter who's driven to insanity after quitting tobacco kills the "bad people" who conspire to beat him in the resulting lawsuit, only to get away with it and win 22 Oscars in the process!

IF YOU GO, YOU WILL COME!!!D.G.

HEY MYRIAD OF ENTHUSIASMLAND!!!

Thank you VERY MUCH!!!

DON'T MIND ME, I'M GOING!!!D.G.

HEY NAILHEAD AIMER ATTERS!!!

It is a perfect world!

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't think so ... hence the crummy stuff.

YOU have the responsibility to turn your freinds and neighbors on to that!!

If you don't, then the pile of shattered dreamers is in the back of the cave and is excited to have you as the nesest member.

My Agent? Check bio.

WE are networking together to make the sale. I'm contacting Prod/Co's to request permission for her to submit. She's doing what she does in that regard in LA and between you me and the lamp-posts, she says there's NOTHING LIKE IT IN HOLLYWOOD!!!

Please, if you have the inclination, think a thought for D.G. to make the sale on TQK. Then I'll just quietly fade away ...

GET SMARTER AND HARDER!!!D.G.

HEY NAILHEAD AIMER ATTERS!!!

Thank you, thank you berry much ...

It is a perfect world!

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't think so ... hence the crummy stuff.

YOU have the responsibility to turn your friends and neighbors on to that!!

If you don't, then the pile of shattered dreamers is in the back of the cave and is excited to have you as the newest member.

My Agent? Check bio.

WE are networking together to make the sale. I'm contacting Prod/Co's to request permission for her to submit. She's doing what she does in that regard in LA and between you me and the lamp-posts, she says there's NOTHING LIKE IT IN HOLLYWOOD!!!

Please, if you have the inclination, think a thought for D.G. to make the sale on TQK. Then I'll just quietly fade away ...

GET SMARTER AND HARDER!!!D.G.

HEY YOU SCRIBBLERS!!!

Guess what?

When YOU envision your work NOT QUITE making the grade, it doesn't. When you manifest that "want"; WANT's what you get!

When you manifest your "desire" to achieve a specific goal, through whatever means of meditation that suits you best, you get what you think you'll get. Simple.

Personally, right this second, I'm happier than ever!!! I truly love being alive and surviving!!! If you don't yet, look within ...

... BOOOM! There it is!!!

If you don't allow yourself to see within, maybe next time?

That's why I not only envision THE QUIET KILLER garnering 22 Oscars, I'm also asking YOU to help me envision the same thing.

(I know, 22 is impossible, as there aren't THAT many categories for American feature films. But GODZILLA was impossible too, now look, SHE'S REAL!!!)

We'll find out how well YOURS and MY positive visualization works if you simply try it. When we make the sale, you'll be glad you helped and will be amongst the 1st to know!

Even if you don't help now, it's okay, you may discover the magic at YOUR conveinience!!!

Friends and family are currently working P.V. like ill-mannered red-headed step-children, so it's right around the corner and we'll bump at the apex!!!

(P.V. is how TIGER WOODS was taught to play the game, so don't even try to tell me it doesn't work.)

YOU KNOW BETTER!!

BTW, There's only one way to find out what kind of President Ralph Nader will make ...

... GO VOTE FOR HIM!!!D.G. (U.S. Residents only!:)

HEY MIRIGAMI!!!

You give me the name of your SP and I'll include it in my daily ritual.

HEY JOHN GREEN WAS MY VALLEY!!!

Meditation, meditation, meditation!!!

If you go out with a cleansing breath and come back with vital prana, you too will be able to insert those PV's into whatever part of you decides needs it.

If you can find a little known book by YOGI RAMACHARAKA titled: THE SCIENCE OF BREATH then you have most definitely followed the path to healthy enlightenment.

If you desire to fix what's broke, get yourself to Amazon.com and get CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD - Books 1,2,3.

If you do, and actually read them, you'll say to yourself,

"Hey! I knew that shit already!"

I've found true bliss remembering who I am and what I am. (A caveman who loves/lives to tell YOU and YOURS a good story!)

Remember how fun it is to wake up the last time you had something really special to do?

I believe that's every day!!!

If you think about all science knows about the galaxy ... It's a freaking miracle we're even here dude!

... Us, here, breathing ...

... who can ask for anything more?

GO HAVE FUN WITH IT!!!

Unless you'd rather take the sacred responsibility to take care of the broken shit and fix it; so others can bliss-out too!!

GOTTA END DA SERMON!!!D.G. (Soapbox crumpled!:) ((Damn that Palmolive!!!))

HEY ALL THE QUEENSEN!!!

Passion, passion, passion!!!

If it's worth one iota of passion, it's priceless!!!

"You talkin' uh ME? - You TALKIN' uh me? - YOU talkin' uh me?"

GO RINSE LATHER REPEAT AS NESS!!!D.G.

OY VEY GUYS & DOLLIES!!!

One of the universal laws of success is letting go!

When you take the path of least resistance, you'll gawk in utter wonder the whole journey!!

Unless it's a path littered with expectations ... which ruin all!!!

Go do something FUN and try not to hurt anyone as all is perfect in the universe and besides, aren't we supposed to be out campaigning to make the world abetter place?

GET WIN IN MIND!!!D.G. (Mine, your's, your loved one's, earth's Ralph Nader's, mine again in four years;>0

HEY BROWN SPECK ON THE WALL!!!

E) All of the above.

GOT ENOUGH TO GO AROUND & AROUND & AROUND!!!D.G.

HEY BROWN EYE!!!

D) In the EYE of the beholder.

GET IT - WINK-WINK!!!D.G.

HEY CRISPY BROWN STUFF!!!

F) None of the above.

GUTE GOT!!!D.G.

HEY C.B.!!!

At least it ain't two redundant.

GOT MULCT???D.G.

(Oh, punish me daddy!)

Yes, I see it it now ...

... A needle, waaay down there!

OUCH!

(TWO YEARS LATER)

AND THE WINNER FOR BEST PICTURE IS ...

"ALL THE QUEENSEN'S MENTIONS"

As of this second, I'm officially

GONE HUNTING!!!D.G.

HEY JEFFSTER!!!

Mary and I are working together to sell THE QUIET KILLER as well as my other scripts. If I can do anything else to that end, I'm gonna do it. That includes copying and sending the scripts to her contacts as she sees fit.

I actually get a great price on copying at my local Pac & Copy cuz the gals have been promised a limo & bubbly for the Premiere, which I hope is held in LA County as well as my hometown - MODESTO! (Yes, that explains a lot:)

Hope all your project come up smelling like roses too!!!

Give my regards to the fambly!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS!!!

How about this horror story?!?!?!

THE QUIET KILLER garnered a TOP THREE for August at Francis Ford Coppola's American Zoetrope website.

With an average score of 8.20 which is 1.8 away from perfect; I figured I'd at least reach the finals at Austin Heart of Film Screenplay Contest, but NOOOOO!

They sent me the form letter waaay after everybody else got their "NO", and it said,

"Regretfully, I must inform you that your screenplay, Balazs, was not selected as a semi-finalist in this year's Competition.

Signed - B.J.Burrow"

Who lived up to his name when I called to ask what happened to THE QUIET KILLER? He said he'd call me back when he found out, but NEVER DID!

I e-mailed the contact at Austin and heard NADA.

$40.00 to NOT READ my SP which is gonna get sold eventually is what the word BLACK-EYE is for, when I see B.J. he's gonna get punched!

GOTTA AIM HIGHER ABOVE IT!!!D.G.

HEY YOU SCRIBES & SCRIBBLERS!!!

How about this for a horror story?!?!?!

THE QUIET KILLER garnered a TOP THREE for August at Francis Ford Coppola's American Zoetrope website with an average score of 8.20, which is only 1.8 away from perfection! I figured I'd at least reach the finals at Austin Heart of Film Screenplay Contest, but NOOOOO!

They sent me the basic form letter waaay after everybody else got their "NO" and it said,

"Regretfully, I must inform you that your screenplay, BALAZS, was not selected as a semi-finalist in this year's Competition."

Signed - B.J.Burrow"

Who most certainly lived up to his name after I called to ask him what happened to THE QUIET KILLER?

He said (On the phone after taking my number.) he'd call me back when he found out, but he NEVER DID!!! (A BIG LIAR!) I e-mailed the contact at Austin to inquire further and heard absolutely - NADA regarding my script.

I don't know about everybody else but $40.00 to NOT READ my SP, or even return a call or e-mail is what the word BLACK-EYE is for; when I see B.J. he's gonna get punched!

GOTTA AIM HIGHER & TO THE RIGHT!!!D.G.

HEY MIRIAM THE "Q"!!!

For $40.oo in U.S. curency I can:

1- Call someone long distance; Just like I told them.

2- Buy rice and beans for 3 months. (With tuna if I can find it on sale.)

3- Get 8 copies of THE QUIET KILLER made at Pac&Copy up the hill.

4- Send 13 Express Mail envelopes with THE QUIET KILLER in them to (Hopefully) the "Right Sets of Eyes".

5- Buy enough neo-sporin, bandages and guaze, ibuprofen and hydrogen peroxide, needles and 2 lbs test fishing line to sew up the abbrasions and contusions inflicted by me upon those who LIE to me right through their teeth!!!

6- Buy Ms. Queensen a nice little something for X-mas, Kwanzaa, Chanuka or just for breathing and being who she is.

GO WORK LOVE PLAY!!!D.G.

P.S. Disney does NOT send out anything, unless you make it to the finish-line and YOU GET the FELLOWSHIP!!!dg

HEY YOU GUYS!!!

My point was this:

They rejected my SP titled: BALAZS

THE QUIET KILLER was the title, not - BALAZS.

The $40.oo is beside the point.

An EXCLAMATION POINT!

GOT ONE IN A FIST!!!D.G.

HEY EYE-RON MAN!!!

No, I didn't make the top 10%!

They didn't even read the TITLE!!

Next year I'm gonna win with a sheaf of blank pages!!!

GO FORTH, WE'LL STILL PROSPER!!!D.G.

HEY MIRIAMI SOUND MACHINE!!!

I fully understand what it's all about and concur completely with your experience.

The simple fact remains and is this:

They didn't even read the title!

GOT FIGS NEED NEWTON'S!!!D.G.

HEY HEY PAULA!!!

Wanna collaborate with me on a blank sheaf of papers. We'll go 50/50!!!

GOT ENOUGH WHITE SPACE?!?!?!D.G.

HEY HEMP-CAN'T!!!

If YOU'RE serious,

Get ahold of Augustino Patti @

zoetrope.com

HE'S GOING PLACES!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS!!!

Four years ago when I sent them a synopsis after getting their name from the '97 WRITERS MARKET, they asked to read the draft of a script I've had to re-write 20 times since.

They offer a service to those who can afford to lose a lot of money on the chance that once they've re-written it, they can find a buyer too.

Mr. Flower has been in LOTS of movies and is probably most famous, or infamous as the back-stabbing wino who turns on ROWDY RODDY PIPER in a John Carpenter horror flick called THEY LIVE. He's been in a hundred movies, so, yes, they DO HAVE CONTACTS but apparently, YOU GOTTA PAY TO PLAY with them.

I passed, as with the amount they asked for, I can buy TWO CANON X-L1's and some editing software to boot!!! (Not four years ago, now!)

So, if you have NO CONTACTS and are very wealthy, why not try to deal with them? If I was rich, I might've just to have the chance to work with a grizzled and salty veteran of the "BIZ".

Last but not least, I complained to the Editor personally on the phones at WRITERS MARKET to inform her these guys are good ... they're REAL GOOD! So if they're still listed in the WRITERS MARKET, consider the source.

EPILOGUE: Their physical address was right next to the world famous: SANTA ANITA RACETRACK!

GO IN WITH BOTH EYES WIDE!!!D.G. (Come out unscathed?)

HEY SARAN-WRAP!!!

Randy, et. al. have some very salient enthusiasms bordering on fanatacism.

You gotta be a fanatic to write SP's!!!

BUT!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS ...

Your work HAS to be POLISHED & as PROFESSIONAL as is possible.

Why? Cuz H'wood readers HATE to READ! THEY HATE IT!!!

One out of a hundred might not but YOU'RE AIMING at the other 99!!!

If you're technique is down then most readers won't put the SP down til it's DONE!!!(Unless the story REALLY SUCKS!)

My only suggestion is to e-mail me at troglodytefilms.com & I will send you a 19 page booklet that made the difference between a read or two here and there, to a WGA AGENT!

An Agent who's just asked ME to collaborate on a story she just secured the rights to.

She aske ME because she really likes the WAY I WRITE.

Now, you go do whatever, and I'll go do it too.

GET GOING W/THE WRITE STUFF!!!D.G.

HEY, uh, ooops!

troglodytefilms.com ain't up yet, but will be very soon!

In the meantime, try me at troglodytefilms@yahoo.com

GOT DUH!!!D.G.

HEY SANDY MIRAGE!!!

For YOU? Anytime!

GOT OVER-FILLED TUMBLERS!!!D.G.

HEY SPECIAL K.!!!

Thank YOU!

GOT YER POSITIVITY HANGIN'!!!D.G.

HEY YOU SCRIBES!!!

Guess they've been making enough to send out rejections this year?

They never sent me one for the last three years and now I've got something to add to my new cave's new bathroom wallpaper!

Wonder WHO actually read/tossed my masterpiece? Prolly, the wunderkind!!!

GOT STORIES-GETTING DEALS!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS!!!

Aloha! from sunny California and guess what?

We got a gig this March in MOAB, UTAH!

We've been signed to shoot a mountain bike documentary with a fine bunch of co/ed biking enthusiasts and their parents in an effort to show how much fun you can have when you really try!!!

They are auctioning a classic Japanese commuter bicycle from the '60's as a way to raise funds for the trip on eBay.

So, if any collector/enthusiast out there would like to help out some really neat young people and get a cool bike, check it out on eBay, item #

550962926

GO LOOK, IT'S COOL!!!D.G.

HEY ALL YOU PERUSING PRODUCERS!!!

Yes?

Goody!

GO TO: http://www.troglodytefilms.com

GOT BIO-PIC POLISHED TOO!!!D.G.

HEY MIASMA NOT!!!

If I told you, you probably may have some trouble swallowing it all, so, I'll just say that I've been going, going, going ...

BUT NOT GONE!!!D.G.

... and maybe, JUST MAYBE ...

... a hundred years from now ...

... the world will be a better place ...

... due to the seeds planted ...

... in the minds of sheep ...

... that watched my movies ...

... Ahhhhmmmm GOING TOO!!!D.G.

If YOU can get any of my works at:

http://www.troglodytefilms.com

In front of the set of eyes that buys, YOU are going to get ten percent of whatever I make on the deal!!!

That's right! 10%!!!

Why am I asking YOU? Because I just fired my agent for misrepresentation!!! For the last eleven months it was,

"So and So is reading it."

"So and So loves it!"

"So and So should buy it."

"I don't know ... So & So hasn't ..."

So naturally, after hearing nothing further and on pins & needles for months, I called several "So & So's", who never heard of my agent or read any of my works, and to:

"Never ... call here again with unsolicited questions regarding my so and so agent's non-contact with them."

So, here I go again; Pleading, begging and profusely proferring a cut of my profit to those who actually need the money most!!!

To those of YOU who have an in with "whoever", but not the particular piece "whoever" is looking for at the moment, why not give ol D.G.'s stuff a whirl and try to make some money in the process?

GOT FAITH IN YOU ALL!!!D.G.

HEY STEWEY!!!

Does this mean we're in the same boat?

Does this mean we're breathing the same air?

Does this mean we're eating the same fish?

GOTTA THINK SO!!!D.G.

P.S. Gramma Moses started late too!

HEY "FREDDIE MAC"!!!

Man you got it all! Swiftly smoothly succinctly!! You ARE the big pic!!!

GOING SWELLINGLY!!!D.G.

HEY EVERYBODY!!!

I don't care what Jesus or Bhudda'd do.

My hope is your head ain't full-O-POO!

GOTTA VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS!!!D.G.

P.S. LOVE ROCKS!!!

"Hi Miriam!!!"

HEY ALL YOU MOVERS/SHAKERS!!!

How about a little feedback on this attempt at solvency?

http://page.auctions.shopping.yahoo.com/auction/59562461

Do you think it's better to invite Agents or Prod/Co's or both????

Anyone? Anyone?

GOT CHALKS FULL O'CHUTZPAH!!!D.G.

HEY MARCO!!!

Tell you what I am going to do ...

GO GET 'EM!!!D.G.

HEY STEVERHINO!!!

25%?!?!?!?! Are YOU crazy man?

Speaking of which, I have a DREAM!

STEVE MARTIN & I sit in the audience of a play at an insane asylum. I ask,

"What if we went to a movie and IT watched US?"

Steve immediately stands up and says,

"That's crazy!"

And then I wake up. Recurring. Over and over and over; Every time!

Now, was he talking about my question or referring to the lunatic onstage?

You be the guesser?

GOT A MILLION OF 'EM!!!D.G.

HEY CRAIGHEAD!!!

Didn't YOU & YOUR Fambly make a lot doing those Disney "adventure" flicks back in 60's? No wonder YOU know how to do it the old capitalistic, un-moral, no-holds barred way! As for my body parts, they're mostly rusty ...

... EXCEPT the BRAIN: It's just soggy!

GOT KNOW FOG!!!D.G.

HEY WILD BILLY!!!

Guess what? A spec is a spec is a spec, until you get a deal. A comma or a keystroke don't ruin a great story. My stories are great! They've been coveraged and reviewed and there are several things we'll add and subtract during re-writes. The stories are relevant, valid and honest.

GET THEE TO A NONERY!!!D.G.

HEY CRAIGLY!!!

Guess what? I done did the H'wood thing and came to the conclusion that you so unselfishly put forth - people around every corner lying in wait to beat you to a pulp. Not my idea of creativity - as it's been done to death already. My focus is creating something out of nothing but thin air and helping peopl make money to feed their famblys.

GET ME!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/GALS & GOADERS!!!

Okay, OKAY! I asked a simple question!! Whether it was too little or too lot??? And all I get is a cacophony of cackling cuckoos quaking and quivering over a quotient quite too cumbersome for someone's cranial connections to consider quietly.

"Rats! Foiled again!" - Schulz

Ah well, I AM having SOME fun.

GOT BLESSED WITH BLARNEY!!!D.G.

HEY JOHN PAUL SARTRE-SINGER!!!

Drivel? DRIVEL?!?!?!?! Easy to say, but astonishingly prurient to READ!!!

GET HOTNESS!!!D.G.

HEY D.J.!!!

Use whatever works best in your mind's eye to keep the Reader's eyes flowing!!!

When you make a sale or option is when to worry about crap like that!!!

GO MAN GO!!!D.G.

HEY YOSHI!!!

If YOU have the desire to create, may I suggest you go to www.zoetrope.com and find out what if takes to "make it"? There are 10,000 screenwriters there ready willing and able to help you make your stuff as commercially viable as possible before you send them into contests. Also, once you get your work flowing and as smooth as possible on the weary industry reader's eyes, send queries to Agencies and get someone to Represent you. Unless, of course YOU KNOW SOMEONE!!! Then YOU can just work those contacts to "get your foot in the door".

P.S. Why'd you wait so long to get started? I mean, CHEESE & RICE AMIGO!

GET GOING!!!D.G.

HEY YOSHI!!!

If YOU have the desire to create, may I suggest you go to www.zoetrope.com and find out what if takes to "make it"? There are 10,000 screenwriters there ready willing and able to help you make your "works" as commercially viable as possible - before you send them into contests! Also, once you get your work flowing and as smooth as possible on the weary industry reader's eyes, send queries to Agencies and get someone to Represent you. Unless, of course YOU KNOW SOMEONE!!! Then YOU can just work those contacts to "get your foot in the door".

P.S. Why'd you wait so long to get started? I mean, CHEESE & RICE AMIGO!

GET GOING!!!D.G.

double-double-toil & trouble ...

"Y is your P sticky?"

"Y is Craigly's P sticky?"

Has anyone, anywhere sold an original feature length screenplay (or two, or three) via on-line auctions?

ANYONE GOT THE INFO?!?!?!D.G.

HEY SEVEN ALDERBRANCHES!!!

That's BEAUTIFUL MAN!!!

GOTTA HOLE OUGHTA LOVE IN'!!!D.G.

... anyone ... ANYONE?

GOT HMPH!!!D.G.

HEY MADE MIRIAM!!!

"Fuhgeddaboutit?"

"Always a motion notion!!!"

Rain MAKES my parade.

WHO'S GONNA BE FIRST!?!?!?!

P.S. DG slept.

Alas poor Marr-ick We knew him well not really Gold holds a rainbow

Alas poor Marr-ick

We knew him well not really

Gold holds a rainbow

GET DBLSCD!!!D.G.

Love to write?

Write with the LOVE in your hearts and SOULS and the commercial viability, spec-sale-ability, drive for untold riches are all MOOT points strived for by those who write big pictures but are unable to wrap their brains around - THE BIG PICTURE!!!

A very astute friend tells me to, "Write like the wind." Which is the only way for any writer who, "Truly loves their work." to get anywhere this time around. Volume breeds qualities hidden in the raunchiest writer's noggins. Quality that eventually may make it to the bright lights, given the desire, perseverence, dedication and LUCK are with the one's that LOVE IT!!!

What if everyone made money doing what they "truly love"? It's called NIRVANA.

And it's right/write under YOUR FEET, BUTT, BRAIN!!!

GO FOURTH & STILL PROSPER!!!D.G.

What if someone was out in the woods last deer season and while shooting some hunter safety video during off hunting hours, lucked into getting some footage that will unequivocally prove that giant stinky beings do in fact exist?

Does this person sell the footage to the highest bidder or like every other idiot, (that got lucky enough to "shoot" one) give it to the nearest "News" crew to investigate and start a 15 minute media feeding frenzy?

Or does this person have a brainstorm and write a short around the footage and unleash it on a world looking for the next "Big Story" when he's damn good and ready?

ANYONE GOT GOOD IDEARS?!?!!?D.G.

HEY HOLD 'EM!(or it!!!)

Doesn't every sentient being possess a sixth sense?

Given the chance to "survive or be eaten" sharpens those DNA provided instincts in ALL CREATURES GREAT & SMALL!!!

My QUESTION was, and IS:

Will a short film with a funny but scathing social commentary on ... oh, umm, ahh ...

THE CRANK EPIDEMIC (For instance)...

... Turn actual footage of the mythical beast into a miraculous eye-opening experience for those who are overdosing on self-medication of one sort or another; (Religiously zealous Patriots included) And effectively turning off their responsibility to help out with the work we're ALL doing here right now?

Will it work? Or does this incredible footage get boxed & shipped - "As-Is", like SPIELBERG'S LOST ARK, and end up in some archive - worthlessly collecting dust?

GOING'S THE THING!!!D.G.

HEY YOU SCRIBBLERS!!!

Did any of YOU get the new INZIDE screenplay comp bulk e-mail?

Only 35 dollars (plus postage & hard copying) to get our hard works tossed into a deep-sea dumpster!!!

Personally, I'm a gonna send Marc H. a big wet set of queries!!!

HEY GET OFF ME!!!D.G.

HEY DEER MS. ASHLEY!!!

There are too many credible authorities on the subject I can interview for the short, that will gladly participate, so there's no need to puff it up with some silliness. (Although silly is one of my favorite genres!)

Those BW knuckleheads worked a hoax!!!

If you have any idea about my ulterior motives, and I think YOU do, then you'd know I have delved into the matter of privacy. To be in the "right place" at the "right time" is the issue. The privacy matter is moot as the specific whereabouts aren't now, nor will they be disclosed.

These things keep hapening to me for a reason and I am trying to gain some reasonable measures to do what I came here for ...

... ENTERTAIN THEN GO TEACH!!!D.G.

OH MS. M'!!!

The fact is that they ARE hominids and they HAVE been murdered and hunted and persecuted by those who feared for their families and themselves; As well as by those who love nothing more than a profit.

There are too many credible encounters in recent history to discount even the most incredible story. Bigfoot is real. They are very much like us. They have the desire to eat good stuff, and sleep in a quiet place - without a lot of useless running around in circles. (Something WE'VE certainly mastered!)

They have everything a creator may give to live in the world. Another reason they are so scarce! The world WE'VE created is another abberation; just like ROME. Bigfoot knows better and quietly goes about living right this second.

Why isn't OUR question, WHEN? is!!!

WE GOTTA GET GOING!!!D.G.

HEY YOU DREAMERS/SCHEMERS & LEMURS!!!

Didn't anyone tell you?

Most competitions that require a fee are revenue enhancement devices to keep ex-wives and college students living the life to which they've become accustomed!!!(Not that there's anything wrong widdat.)

Not meaning to pee on anyone's Cheerios, especially Fred's, but there are only about a handful of competitions that'll get your stuff closer to being a true project:

Nicholl, Disney, Houston come to mind, but there aren't too many more if your interest is in the homerun. If you have the desire to play a fundamentally sound ballgame, sure, work with the small ones and let the chips fall away from you en masse'. Or make your own "luck" with the tools you've been given.

The odds are astronomical. Many, many stories that rock, send they're maker into hock, so if you got holes in your sock, darn it and open the door when you hear a KNOCK!

GET GOING ALREADY!!!D.G.

Um, er, ahh, I meant AUSTIN not HOUSTON!!!d.g.

HEY MARCEL MARR-SO-SO!!!

When YOU ask for a job, it is imperative that YOU include a resume slightly more substantial than "Profile Unavailable".

GET (HA-HA'D)!!!D.G.

... vouchsafe ...

YOU do it.

I do it.

WE all do it.

GOT TOMORROW'S!!!D.G.

... lacuna ...

I got one.

YOU got one.(Or more)

WE all got 'em.

GOT MORE'N WAN WAY!!!D.G.

HEY SKI!!!

How about a visionary with angel eyes?

You know the kind? Like Francis Ford Coppola to George Lucas, like that!

GOT VISION KNEAD DOUGH!!!D.G.

HEY NAUGHTY BOBS!!!

When WE give out accolades and honors; WE write the name right -

M - A - R - L - E - I - N - E

(WE feel terrible for James Earl Jones! What a crappy thing to happen!!)

As for Canadian "cruise missiles"; Hope you got more'n THAT!

As for "Invisible Actors", GO TO:

INDUSTRIAL LIGHT & MAGIC!!!

GET THEE AWAY FROM THE NONERY!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS!!!

"Poo-poo and Pshaww" all you want!

You'll get tingles where your jingle-jangle jingles when you get a load of what I've got and I ain't a gonna give no sneaky peaks til the short's in the can, man!!

GOT ILK!!!D.G.

... senescent ...

I am going there!

YOU are too!!(Except upstairs?)

WE'RE all going!!!

WRITE WHEN YOU GET THERE!!!D.G.

HEY MARCELLO MASTERANOMOLY!!!

Stop the truck right now! They await at the border!! You know Martin Smith?

GOT PASSPORT MAY TRAVEL!!!D.G.

HEY S.C.T.V.!!!

No, but if YOU hum a few bars ...

... NOT GONNA FAKE IT!!!D.G.

... sacrosanct ...

YOU ARE!

I AM!!

WE IS!!!

GOD'LL GET YOU FUR HAT!!!D.G.

... UNLESS OF COURSE:

Some knot-head with like footage comes shooting outta nowhere!

Then my hand may be revealed sooner.

GOT TINGLES!!!D.G.

HEY DEAR ARTISTES & OTHERS!!!

Since the imbroglio with my ex-agent last season, I conveniently put my version up on a web-site and kinda forgot about it.

Does ANYONE out there have ANY info on this project?

If so, please e-mail me!

GOTTA WHOLE OUGHTA THANK YOUSE!!!D.G.

HEY BEATWHOLE BAILEY!!!

Guess what? English was/is my favorite subject, but I din't go anal retentive over it - yet slaughter it mercilessly whenever possible ... blah, blah, bluh.

GOOT GOT GOLLY!!!D.G.

HEY NAYSAYERS!!!

A) Why haven't they found a skeleton, or any fossils of the Sasquatch?

Q) Oh, but they have!!!

www.bfro.net

P.S. Yeti'll eat groundhog - so tomorrow may be a good day to "catch" one!(If you get "lucky" - DON'T HURT 'EM!!!

GET GLOBAL!!!D.G.

... spellunker ...

I AM WAN!

YOU MAY BEE TWO!!

WE AWL MITE KNOT!!!

GO TOO ELLS!!!D.G.

"Unker D.G.?"

"What?"

"Why do you talk like that?"

"I'm having fun."

"We aren't."

"Sorry?"

"That's okay."

GOT TODDLERS MULCT!!!D.G.

gnaw!

I concur!

... potential ...

I got it.

You got it.

We ALL got it.

GET IT BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!!!D.G.

... giving ...

... karma ...

I'm inevitable.

YOU are too.

WE all happen to be us.

GOT PIMPLE!!!D.G.

economy

We already do.

Unfortunately, some of us drink too much coffee, which leads to hyper-brain-rebellion and the inevitable.

GET BACK TO WORK!!!D.G.

... DESIRE!!!

HEY CRAIGLIE!!!

'tsokay dude, I'm on "our" side.

NOT GONNA GET HURT!!!D.G.

HEY HILLBILLY!!!

Nice to see YOU finally egressed from AZ!!!

KEEP GOING KIDDO!!!D.G. (P.S. Keep an eye on Miriam - SHE'S THE PEACHIEST!!!)

Melvin Mush it seems.

HEY KRAYGUE!!!

This one's for YOU!!!

... detachment ...

GOT MULCT!!!D.G.

HEY MIKEY LIKES IT!!!

Simple fact #1 - MILLIONS of us writers market their work whether it's legible or not, which clogs ancient-eye-arteries leading into the old, scarred and barely pumping heart of the beast. We know it as: HOLLYWOOD!!!

Simple fact #2 - 99.999999% of our scripts aren't produced each year. (Wga or NOT!)

Simple fact #3 - If you "feel" it's your heart's desire - NEVER be afraid to take the next step, as the next "call" or "look" is always right around the corner and this MAY be TODAY. (Cautious maybe, but not afraid.)

Simple fact #4 - Chinook Salmon die after spawning.

Simple fact #5 - Positive visualization works, if YOU work it!

GET GOING!!!D.G.

HEY ASHES(2)ASHES!!!

Have you read YOGI RAMACHARAKA's - SCIENCE OF BREATH? If you're interested in some reel healing, D.G. sez: "Check it out."

GOPHER GREAT HEALTH!!!D.G.

HEY ASHE WEDNESDAYN'T!!!

For YOU? Anytime, all the time, write down the line, it's push, push, PUSH!!!

GOT MOI!!!D.G.

HEY GILLNETSTER!!!

I sent out forty-two letters to all the agencies in L.A. & Hollywood that accepted submissions from newbies; to let them know I was coming down there "next week" to gain representation based on my killer synopses. (plural)

When I showed up in the first lobby, I was immediately escorted to the front door, admonished for having "no appointment" and told not to come back until such was the case.

Undeterred, I went to the second lobby where I was welcomed and asked to sit. After ten minutes, the receptionist decided to ask,

"Are you here to see someone?"

To which I replied, "Blankety-blank."

To which she queried,

"Do you have an appointment with Blankety?"

Then I told her about the letter I sent, announcing that I was on my way. She snickered and told me,

"Oh that was YOU? We got a good laugh out of that letter. You really need to work on your synopses though."

Well, Mike Gill, I was NOT DETERRED then, I am still not deterred now and I've been polishing and shining and writing and still need the right sets of eyes to gather my stuff in the cranium for an hour or two and make the connection between:

SOCIALLY VALUABLE AND ENTERTAINING!!!

And here I am six years later and hardly get anyone to tell me no anymore. I've worn 'em out over the years and they just say "yes" now, but don't really MEAN IT!!!

Yet, I am still ...

STILL GOING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!!D.G.

HEY EUDORA WEALTHY!!!

We concur fully with YOUR assessment.

Hopefully, next time, the process will be fraught with deep pleasure and creative desire on part of the entire crew, (instead of the blatant and petty bickering) to entertain with a great story instead of trying to make a buck and complain about who did what to whom!!!

GET FIRED UP!!!D.G.

HEY MARCY SO&SO!!!

Unless your 'play' adheres to accepted industry format, then a lot of those 'reads', if not all, will not turn into reviews. (Unless it's a newbie going for four, or a contemporary pushing you along!!!) I'll invite you to the cave and then you can "make sure" of your format with the easy to follow 19 age booklet given to me by a producer long ago, but updated to reflect today's aceepted industry format. (For Spec Scripts.)

GET GOING!!!D.G.

HEY MARCELLO MASTRIONIC!!!

YOU need to BE VERY CAREFUL over at AZ and I'll tell YOU why ...

... Not too long ago, one of YOUR northern nincompoops and conmen did some dirt to a lot of people whom I love and respect as friends and writers at AZ. Creative, talented and spiritual people who have never and WILL never hurt a soul, are often taken advantage of by cretins such as the ONE described.

I personally owe said nincompoop a smashing right (or left) to the bridge of the nose, thus incapacitating it for the onslaught of baseball bat knocks on the knees and quite possibly - the cranium, when I finally catch up to it, or one of my associates does first.

That being said, watch yer P's & Q's, cuz there's still one lurking!!!

GOING NORTH YOUNG MAN!!!D.G.

HEY MARCHELLO!!!

You have nothing to fear, unless you are into screwing people, then, you've got plenty to fear - Like another couple million trips around the world to gain the enlightenment you know you crave.

What's AZ? Puh - LEEZE!!!D.G.

HEY ASHSTER!!!

Maybe it's genetics?

Maybe it's environment?

Maybe it's both?

Maybe the air of moral objectivity has been so thoroughly polluted as to have caused mutations in the human being?

Maybe too many out of the 80% of us who desire healthy, wealthy and wiseness, are too laconic when it comes to standing up and pointing out one or more instances where the 20% (who are only out to screw things up) are exhibiting the same old behaviors that are patently undesirable in an enlightened society.

Isn't that why WE'RE doing this?

To form a more perfect union between people and our planet?

IF NOT, I AM GOING HOME!!!D.G. (And taking my toys too!!!%^p>

HEY DEITY!!!

How many options?

3 or 5?

Your facts seem to knot jibe as written.

GOT 2 GNU OPTIONS???D.G.

HEY UP THERE!!!

Why on earth did YOU bring YOUR MOM to the table? Is she as hungry as you? If so, maybe, after selling your first spec for mid to high six, you can pay off her mortgage and that operation she needs, then take care of your homeless & single sister with two kids?

But then again, if some nincompoop wastes your time, effort and money, maybe you will not be able to do so, this time around, eh?

We here at troglodytefilms.com wish YOU and YOUR MOM all the best and can only hope when we do meet up with a nincomoop, we call the spade, "A SPADE!"

GODDA BLESSED BEAST & CHILLUN'S!!!D.G.

Dear, dear Ms. Moye'!!!

Tis with the utmost respect that I write this:

WHAT A KNOCKOUT!!!D.G.

HEY AVERY BUDDY!!!

Now ... do YOU see the diff?

GOT MORE'N CHUTZPAH!!!D.G.

Not only that Mr. Marred So&So, but giving revenge reviews is childish, non-productive, vindictive and last but not least; Grounds for an ass whuppin' from the 80% who "Get it"!!!

QUIT STEALING & GO AWAY!!!D.G.

And all the other "Smiths" circulating around the world; "Making connections" to try and "seem" like one of us, then going after those purely unsuspecting souls' dinero!

Souls that so readily believe in their work, only to be drawn into the con-game "Smith" so contemptuously and ineptly plays for a few hundred, or few thousand lousy bucks, then leaves, thus "stealing" YOUR time and MINE ...

... and WE all know, "Time IS money."

DON'T GET KNOCKED HARDLY!!!D.G.

HEY BRAINDOM SMYTHEE!!!

Not just a lawyer! Find an entertainment lawyer with experience in negotiating what and for how much, otherwise, YOU will get screwed - bet on it!!!

Then, after your deal goes down, depending on the results, you may have to hire someone to tell all the little agents, "No, Mr. Smythee does NOT need you - YOU need Mr. Smythee!"

And THAT'S the way it is ...

... GOING!!!D.G.

HEY BRANDO!!!

Not YOU, the OTHER "SMITHS"!!!

ANGELS GO WHERE FOOLS TREAD!!!D.G.

HEY NO BULLSHIT!!!

You thought I was talking about YOU?

Well, isn't THAT special?

The "eyes" that needed my posts saw them and it's a shame that your eyes and your feelings got bent out of whack for no apparent reason, other than a propensity for jumping to conclusions and for that I am sorry.

It's always a pity to cause someone any pain, that's not what I'm about and if you'd go to my website and read my stuff, you'd realize it.

Sorry you hurt. I hope you feel better, real soon.

GOOD LUCK BRANDON!!!D.G.

HEY SCALDING WOOD!!!

That's some hot pine-tar ya got there!

Nice tool, eh? Make sure you wipe it off when your're done with 'er, eh?

GET REPPED!!!D.G.

HEY MARLIN BRANDON (et al)!!!

Dude! Seriously!! I'm HOOKED!!!

Why are YOU so pissed off at intellectuals? Hopefully, it's not because a family member got run over by a professor!(Literally or figuratively)

When I write about those who "get it" and use percentages to illustrate the 80% who do, and the 20% who don't - it's strictly to point out this:

80% of us (humans being) desire good things to eat and a safe place to do so.

20% desire to screw it up for the rest of us.

It's not about the King's new clothes. Unless that's how you perceive it, and it's not always about you, either.

It's about ALL OF US working together to form a cohesive unit that points our civilization toward happiness; here and now, instead of killing and stealing, because of the bullshit fear running rampant in the hearts of so many.

Like I said, "Sorry to hurt your feelings."

As for AZ, it's an invaluable tool for those who desire to make their dreams become visions in fact. Some are trying to make a million dollars quickly and think selling a screenplay is the way to do it. NOT!!!

Unless you've got some serious connections, that ain't a gonna happen unless you're real good, or lucky enough to get one of the "right sets of eyes" focused on your work and the chips fall just right.

That is happening at AZ. Several writers have optioned and sold due to "playing ZOEY'S game" and re-writing woefully inadequate works into more palatable scripts, then persuing the sale with a positive visualization that most dreamers possess.

Now, is this the beginning of what may be a beautiful relationship, or is your glass half-empty?

GOING NOWHERE AND LOVING IT!!!D.G.

HEY RETREADS!!!

It was a coin, not a quote and YES, YOU MAY USE IT!!!

... Lives to fight ...

... Fights to live ...

Alas, a burning bush that creates ashes meant to fume instead of fertilize.

Poor soul.

WE'RE ALL GOING, SO C'MON!!!D.G.

HEY YOU IN DISGUISE & DOLL!!!

Ahhh, the ebb & flow of a website created to help creators create, knows no rules or bounds when it comes to threads, threats, or TREATS!!!

My biblical references are based in a truth I found, quite on purpose, while looking into my eyes in the mirror and repeating ten times, without stopping, looking away, blinking or laughing:

"I LOVE ME, I LOVE ME ... "

It's neat to figure out that we're all on this journey together and only different plains of enlightenment seperate each and every living being.

You're on yours, I am on mine, some are on the same wavelength and 20% are here to screw it up, thus being on theirs ...

... So it's all up to you!!!

Half fool, half empty? TOTALLY!!!

As for screenwriting: If you think you're gonna make a million bucks at it, think again. If you think you're gonna touch the lives of creative, intellectual, promising and talented professionals, thus furthering your ultimate goal of eventually saving mankind, then WHOOOOO - HAWWWWW!!! That plan is working flawlessly!!!

GOD CREATED US TO CREATE GOD!!!D.G.

(Kind of like spelling GEORGEORGEORGE! Where's it stop? Bwah - ha - ha - ha!!!)

MEMO TO HANK GREENBURG:

KEEP SWINGING - STOP - DREAMERS ROCK - STOP - NO GNUS LIKE GOOD GNUS - STOP - PLETHORA OF WEBSITES - STOP - GO/STAY - STOP - MAGIC REAPPEARS!!!

DON'T GET KNOTTED!!!D.G.

HEY SEVERE BALDERDASH!!!

WE know you're going, YOU know you're going, now EVERYBODY knows YOU'RE GOING!!!

I got dibs on tickets to da PREMIERE!!!

GET ME TWO TO GO TOO!!!D.G.

"HEY", QUOTH THE RAVEN!!!

Cave walls with hunt pics

Gotta move away too much

Padding too heavy

-- P. KING-DUK

HEY UN-BRANDED MALCONTENT!!!

KNOCK it off Man, I'm a gonna cry.

You're paranoid AND schizo!!!

A man after my own heart!!!

Welcome to the CLUB and by all means, put your feet up and sit a spell ...

... We've GOT STORIES TO TELL!!!

GOOD TO GET YOU BACK!!!D>G.

HEY B.S.!!!

Your posts above are implicit arguments to FIND and WORK with THOSE at AZ who, like YOU, give a FIG!!!

They're there and with patience, their help will be of tremendous value to you and your career; should you decide to accept that simple fact.

Another tool in the box, so to speak.

GO WITH PATIENTS!!!D.G.#%^P>

HEY YOU W/DA FACE!!!

1) You're either born with inspiration or you're not, obviously.

2) As for dedication, well, "To thine ownself be true." Go with what works best for you. If it don't work, fix it. If it does work, WORK IT like a red-headed stepchild and tell 'em to get out of the way!

3) A divine dichotomy created by us, for us and about - US!!!

GET TO WORK LOVE & PLAY!!!D.G.

HEY WHATTA YA' MEAN GENE!!!

Or get ruthlessly faxed on seedless?

Naw, they're okay. It's just that, well, after what happened, happened; people are searching for a tad more than business as usual.

NOT GONNA BLAME KNOW WON!!!D.G.

HEY MELVIN BE IMPERVIOUS!!!

I missed out on the "MELVIN EXPERIENCE". Can anyone back track a thread for me, so I can glean the mean machine that Scriben de Squire "NASTY BOBS" seriously detests?

Me thinks a smile may form upon mine very own countenance, after reading such vehement displeasure from yet another perveyor of flotsam and jetsam, that insists it's a CORK!!!

GOT CORKERS NEED DEALERS!!!D.G.

HEY MIKEY!!!

WE LIKE IT!!!

Unfortunately, we don't LOVE it, and THAT'S our criteria for any story to get produced - WE GOTTA LOVE IT!!!

That being the case, we wish you the best of luck with your projects in the future.

Sincerely,

The Submissions Dept.

HEY DEJA WILLIE!!!

Kant or Hegel? Who are they?

OOPS I GET IT AGAIN!!!D.G.

{%^D>

Yeah, I was busy back then, on the trail of a herd of laconic Sasquatches that kept telling ME to SHUT UP!!!

MUMS GOT A WORD FOR IT!!!D.G.

HEY MEL TOR'EM, EH!?!?!

Prithee, where thoust goest?

GOT ADMIRAL RATION!!!D.G.

HEY D.J.!!!

Get me that dood's e-mail, he's funny!

GET KNEW IGNORING!!!D.G.

HEY MARCO!!!

Reminds me of a sneering line in AMADEUS ...

... "Too many notes!"

If you didn't get specifics, it's a brush off and lend the cretin that uttered it no credence whatsoever.

KEEP GOING!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS & DOLLS!!!

Did you know:

Right after THE GRAPES OF WRATH was published, a gang of Salinas' finest pillars of the community rushed the library, tore all Steinbeck's works from the shelves and burned them?

Just because he hated greed and what it's done to "civilization", they branded him a commie, though he wasn't even close to being one.

"There's a hole in reality through which we can look, if we wish." --STEINBECK's SWEET THURSDAY

HEAVEN GOT A GOOD ONE!!!D.G.

PHILM KLASS

By MICHELLE FANNYMOUS (Franch)

INT. CLUBHOUSE - DAY

SPANKY, BUCKWHEAT, ALFALFA & PEE-WEE stomp their feet in unison. PETEY the DOG barks at the leather hinged door.

PROFESSOR HACKENSACKENPILLAGE opens the door and looks at them with a frown. He eats a sandwich twice the size of his head. A turkey head pokes out the side, with X's on it's eyes.

OUR GANG - Hooray!

SPANKY - (To Alfalfa) See? I told ya'!

ALFALFA - I see but I don't believe ...

SPANKY - Okay doubting Thomas. Watch.

Spanky raises his hand.

PROF. - Yes, Spankster?

SPANKY - What do we get in this class?

The Professor pulls out a thin, see-through circle from his watch pocket.

PROF. - All of you get a cow's cornea.

ALFALFA - I hate corn!

BUCKWHEAT - Dem's whut de allies bet.

PEE-WEE - Tha's a film flam!

SPANKY - Hold it guys! I need a cornea!

PETEY - Woof too!

FADE OUT

GET IT OFF ME!!!D.G.

HEY BITCHELL MAILEY!!!

My wit? My wisdom? Neither!

I gleaned all of it whilst standing on the shoulders of GIANTS!!!

GOTTA RETREAD MY THREADS!!!D.G.

HEY MS. HAJI NISTICK!!!

What can I say? Other than,

"I was inspired the moment I read it. So, being the dedicated eccentric, decided to put said inspiration to use and dedicate it to the film doctor."

GOING TOO FAR!?!?!?D.G.

HEY WRECKLESS ABRANDON!!!

"What is this all about?"

It's about realizing the miracle of breath.

"What's a broad story line as opposed to a narrow one?"

The history of mankind. VS The history of one man or woman.

"Is subject matter the actual subject of a screenplay, the characters and events, or is it the theme, like the meaning of life or something?"

All of the above.

Now, here's ONE for YOU:

Why is it 80% of Earth's population (writers included) refuse to work together towards a saner experience, by fingering the 20% who are out to screw it up for everyone, including our descendants?

GOT FEAR PEGGED!!!D.G.

HEY YOU PLEBIANS!!!

The rub is that Rubes abound; Here, there and everywhere - thus the proliferation of scammers and bad-mammer-jammers who prey like eagles upon squirrels and ducks.

SWOOP = CHA-CHING! & SWOOP = CHA-CHING!

Go ahead and start another one, there aren't nearly enough and don't get scared of the U.S. Postal Service going after you, they're too busy jacking up postage rates!!!

Seriously, there ARE already a handful of competitions that'll get your career off the ground. So polish, tweak and submit til you "make the grade". (Which is so entirely arbitrary, that it's funny!!!)

GET WOOED & NICHOLL'D!!!D.G.

HEY BRAINDUMB SNICKERS!!!

Last deer season up in the Trinity Alps of Northern California, while on a short break between hunts, I went swimming in Whiskeytown Lake - ten miles west of Redding on 299.

While doing a very casual backstroke, I noticed (quite lucidly) a Bald Eagle flying over and circling me. It was quite the rush for me, as I tend to have a caveman-like mentality and am thrilled watching something other than movies or TV.

Anyway, the eagle was about fifty feet in the air and it was LOOKING AT ME!!! I kept watching and to my utmost joy, witnessed the eagle fly about two hundred yards away and "snatch" a baby duck right out of the water. It flew to a stand of trees on an island and ate the mangled baby duck!!!

Now, where do drugs fit into that scenario, besides the reference to Whiskeytown? I resent your implication and now have nothing but contempt for your unbridled name calling and unfeeling comments about addictions.

As a budding neanderthal who "re-tired" from drinking almost 10 years ago, I truly worship the serenity of being alone, high up in the mountains. Just me and Mother Nature having a nice little tete a' tete. Hopefully with some hot herbal tea and wheat crackers.

And fresh venison heart, like any true native Californian Warrior.

STILL, I GOT HOPE 4 U & YOURS!!!D.G.

HEY ASH!!!

I'd say, "Make it yourself if you want gross participation profits."

Either that, or win some Oscars and have your William Morris or ICM Rep. wheel and deal accordingly.

And don't even swallow the "Net Profit" recompense bait; Steve's all over that rusty hooked one.

Hope you are well & gainfully empowered!

GOTTA HOLD ONTO YOUR RIGHTS!!!D.G.

(Until you're paid for 'em!)

Only if it's about a legal buck and relayed with smoke signals from TWO canyons away.

If you're referring to selling screenplays: That 'sounds' right, if you're talking about net, yes? After all is said and done and the creative bookkeeping is turned in, and you're even able to find ANY net profits, then you get to bank it.

If you're talking front end, well, if YOU've got that kinda clout, as I said before, "Shoot it yourself!!!"

GOT 2 SCENTS!!!D.G.

HEY BRANDED & HOGTIED!!!

Dude! I was so not displeased with what you wrote, I was merely toying with you in an effort to see how far a trog can go when dealing with other publicly displayed rants and raves.

Not quite too much it seems?

As for my "little town", you're sitting on the same planet as the rest of us and I don't delineate real estate like mere mothballs, i think of it as a massive mothball, with teeth.

As for threads that jump the tracks? (spelled: verb - Or in this particular case: vibe)

thread (thred) v. To make one's way, as around obstacles." -- WEBSTERS 2nd EDITION

GOT CHILL IF YOU'RE WAN TOO!!!D.G.

HEY HAIRY OUTCROP!!!

Nice crags dude, but lay off Ms. de Maio please, as she's one of the most common sensical and helpful providers of straight dope about screenwriting and da bidness on this site; AND it may be considered a crime against humanity, if she decided to vamoose via obtuse abuse. (And YOU KNOW, I KNOW wut I'm talkin' 'bout, Vern!!!)

If you're a newbie, wannabe, gonna-be or bumble bee; Go back and read Ms. de Maio's helpful hints and save us all the trouble!!!

GO STEEL YA'SEF AGAINST de WIND!!!D.G.

HEY KASTLE KRAIGS!!!

Do you know about St. Germain too?

YOU GET IT?!?!?!D.G.

What Miriam said.

AND FOR THE REST OF YOU!!!

Read BROOKE WHARTON'S - THE WRITER GOT SCREWED (but didn't have to)

That is, if it's your intention to attempt to sell any of your works.

GOTTA BACK MY FRONT END OUT!!!D.G.

And WE thought he meant:

Invisible ink on ethereal paper plains!!!

GO VROOM!!!D.G.

HEY ZEID-SHOW!!!

"Third, don't try to interpret DG's advice. I've read his posts and decided he's from the planet Mongo which hasn't perfected rational thought yet." -- ZEIDMAN circa 3/2002 AD

That's what they said about:

Jules Verne

Walt Disney

H.G. Wells

George Orwell

Robinson Jeffers

Thomas A. Edison

Etcetera

Etcetera

Etcetera

And to think, so many poor MONGOLIANS, like D.G., will never attain anything like the "perfect and rational" civilization over there on Earth.

GOT GOOSED BUMPS!!!D.G.

HEY YOU SCRIBELERS!!!

Just don't do the MENENDEZ thing, as it's really, REALLY hard to get out of "real murders", unless you're O.J. - his were easy!!!

DEW KNOT DO IT!!!D.G.

HEY BRAINTURD!!!

No!!!

They didn't say that about Hitler, Manson or Bundy!!!

And THAT'S why they got to kill so many. People went along with them out of convenience and apathy.

If someone spent more time on solutions instead of pollutions, maybe you'd see the trees behind my forest?

GOT LOTS & LOTS O'RINGS!!!D.G.

HEY BRANDED & HOGTIED!!!

Yeah, after 40 days & 40 nights, we usually stop at a little place called:

Revisionist History City

That is, after the flood abates and all those naysayers bodies sink.

GOTTA HOLD YER BREATH LONGER!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUYS/DOLLS!!!

Muffled snicker? Here's an off the decibel level, needle pegging: GUFFAW!!!

I too am in the "bidness" and do not take kindly to anything other than stray dogs, cats, mice or emus trying to tell me that I'm full of shit.

I KNOW I AM and try to cultivate that overboardness into something intriguing, profound or funny.

So what's YOUR excuse?

As for nepotism, it doesn't always work. And if you're only a step-child, well, hopefully, your experience will be better than mine has been so far.

My step-Great-Granddaddy was Robert Lippert Sr. - And though he left $65 million when he died, I am still trying to rake up enough for my first feature. (By utilizing a local high-school's film class equipment & students.)

Maybe next time around, I'll choose my ancesters more carefully, like maybe, uh, I can be one of SOFIA COPPOLA's blood-related grandkids?

GOING ROUND & ROUND TIL I MAKE IT!!!D.G.

truth!

HEY BRAINDOM!!!

WOW! Nice rapier!! Where'd ya' get it?

GONNA GO TWIST A CLONE!!!D.G.

HEY ASH!!!

Wanna play on our team?

GONNA PAYOFF...SOMEDAY!!!D.G.

SHHHHHH!!!!! Do you hear that?

WEDDING BELLS!!!!%^D>G

HEY SERIOUSLY THOUGH FOLKS!!!

If a project you're going to write, shoot, edit & produce is worth 100 points, and you split each point into eighths, that's 800 pieces to a project, right?

Sell "points" to investers and get your budget there. Then divide the profits to the slice or point holders after all costs are covered.

(Eeewwww! Not so Gross!!)

GOTTA GO HMMMM!!!D.G.

So, what WE're saying is:

"There's a 'method' to this 'madness'."

GOT KNUCKLES BELOW KNEES!!!D.G.

Note to KAREL'S CO.:

As in, "Get a room!"

GOT BELLS RINGIN' 4 HIM & HIS GAL!!!D.G.

HEY YOU FLAMETHROWERS!!!

There's a dude at AZ who's spoiling for a clever and heated repartee, even though he's stupider than me, I like to ask him for a deal, so don't be nice, I told him to come here to fight words.

GO GET 'IM IFFY GETS ADHERED HERE!!!D.G.

HEY SCHPIEL BERG!!!

Not "ragging", simply "raging" about the vagaries of life experience versus the "rules" or "generalities" that are infinitely interchangeable.

GO FOURTH & PROSPECT!!!D.G.

" ... crush, krusch, crutching his tiny head!"

A La MOISEL?

GOT WEASEL'D ... ONCE!!!D.G.

Dear, dear, DEAR Brandon,

Positive visualization is only positive in relation to the psyche from which it's spawned.(%^p>

It is said that people manifest their reality by thinking, verbalizing then acting (according to what their own particular "highest thought" is regarding their very own "special purpose") and thus creating your own world as you see it.

Therefore, it is imperative, if you wish to remain amongst the living, to re-think the hope that you are murdered. If you enjoy living and breathing, it is of utmost importance that you don't even joke about it - because the cosmos only provides that which you and I create through thought and we all know that the cosmos has no inherant sense of humor. It does what we tell it to do.(Ha-ha!)

I hope you schtick around as you're a living, breathing entity that's here to accomplish something, er, um, uh ...

... MARVELOUS!!!

And it'd suck if you left "prematurely". So, before it's too late, re-iterate your desire to yourself (not publicly) that you do not wanna get whacked!!!

GONE BUTT KNOT F'GOTTEN!!!D.G.

HEY OPINE ALONG W/MITCH!!!

All together now:

"There's NO business, like SHOW business!"

What yon truth seeker failed to find forthwith upon furiously flinging hisself UP the fortress of "fulfillment", is the "truth" beneath each of his fulminated feet!

No, I am not saying all victims choose their ends, I am saying they made the decision to be where they were when they "got it" and thus returned to the big circle that leads to Pisces, perfection and then Heaven, in THAT order.

At least I like to THINK so.

GETTA BIG OL WARM FUZZY!!!D.G.

HEY ALL YOU "FAR THINKERS"!!!

We just had a statewide election here in California and the percentage of eligible voters that actually did so was a measly - 34%!!! That means, about a million or so people have made laws and elected those that will govern 20 MILLION!!!

Why wave the flag when a ballot speaks so much louder?

Apathy? Disillusionment? Bandwagoneering?

Q. - What is it called when an elected official can be "produced" by a select few of the total populace?

A. - Oligarchy.

Q. - What if a certain "fad" party, with a certain "widely popular" platform, banded together and registered and voted in the next two elections?

A. - A government of the people, for the people! Not: BUY THE PEOPLE!!!

What happened to your Patriotic fervor?

What happened to One person making a difference?

Where is your civic pride?

GOTTA WONDER???D.G.

"It's ...



... ALIVE! It's ALIVE!! IT'S ALIVE!!!"



GOT WHEW!!!D.G.

So, that was easier than I thought it was gonna be ...

... Now that it's ALL, FULLY understood ...

LET'S GET ON WIDDIT!!!D.G.

HEY MIKEY!!!

You're all grown up and you like it? You really like it? THANKS!!!

So sorry about the weird page breaks. I am trying to get my webster to fix that. I hope you have one quarter as much fun reading and envisioning what YOU "SEE", as much I did writing and re-writing it.

My only hope is to "re-write" the ending on a more personal and global highnote in 'actuality'. As opposed to just another peaceful fiction of "our future", flung far and wide, hoping to take root, instead of being cultivated and nurtured to flower by those who "get it". 80% = ;^) 20% = #^(

When I'm elected, not only will there "be a chicken in every pot" worldwide, each pot shall have a "silver lining" stamped with these words:

DO UNTO OTHERS, AS YOU WILL HAVE DONE UNTO YOU.

This is a pure and simple concept that will turn this "critical mess" into a "critical MASS" and I for one am looking forward to it!!!

If it doesn't happen this time, well, "There's always next year."

Thanks again for your support, I look forward to your "take" on EONS!

GOTTA GO WITHIN/OR GO WITHOUT!!!D.G.

HEY INDY ROCK & ROLLERS!!!

Since the business at hand is going through a DV-revolution and any Thom, Dick and Harriette with a shoestring budget can make their own stuff ...

... Why isn't there a resource where youngsters can glean some tips and or references to transforming their Spec into a Shooting script?

I know how I do it and it works for me, but is there some sort of example of an "industry format" available for those who don't know?

GOT TO WONDERING???D.G.

HEY KRAGEN'S!!!

You've ALWAYS been a triune. And you ALWAYS will be.

HEY YOU VOTERS!!!

Let's all "vote" for Cunningham's "THE HOURS" (when it's released) and buy tickets to show "our" support!!!

GOTTA GET SUM WOOLFE'S BANE!!!D.G.

HEY MARCEL("You ignorant SLUT!")

Try this site for quality cams for MUCH - MUCH less than 5k :

http://www.pricescan.com/electronics/items/item504105.asp?sid=46860099

Now, what I asked about was, and is:

Specifically, are there any resources YOU CAN NAME specifically to point newbies, neophytes and ne'er-do-wells in the correct direction as to what it takes to make a "shooting script" from a spec. work?

WE KNOW HOW, but are asking this specifically, to try and get this info out into the cyber-ether and maybe, just maybe, help one who's too afraid to ask "the experts" here.

And, Marcellino, we're not calling YOU names, we're capping on one of DAN AYKROYD'S famous lines from the old, old, old, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

GO IN PEACE or GO TO PIECES!!!D.G.

P.S. Thank YOU for YOUR support!%^p>

HEY MR. MIKE!!!

(My apologies to the late, great? Michael O' of SAT.NIGHTLIVE fame.)

We don't "want" anything anymore, as we've come to discover; It's a never ending cycle! We do however, persue several lofty goals simultaneously, only one of which is writing.

Another is filmmaking.

Thanks for the post, we'll hope it checks out, and barring such, we're gonna work on something along the lines of a "How to" and put it up in the future.

GOOD THOUGHTS TO YOU & YOURS!!!D.G.

HEY MARKO "POLLO"!!!

Q. Why did the Punk-rocker cross the road?

A. He had a chicken stapled to his left eyebrow.

Guess what? IF you live to be 100 years old, you will have been witness to -- and a part of: OVER 365,000 SUNRISES!!!

Pretty impressive, coming from one of such meager beginnings, eh?

As far as "legs" go, invest your time in the projects that you LOVE DEAREST and let the others lapse until the spark grows into a flame for them.(If at all.)

Too many thoughts? Try Amazon.com and a little old book by YOGI RAMACHARAKA -- titled -- THE SCIENCE OF BREATH

If you do ... then be prepared for the utmost of personal and spiritual consequences regarding your SPECIAL PURPOSE!!!

GO TO HEALTH, BRO!!!D.G.

HEY DJ, DJ, DJ, DJ and YOUSE UDDERS!!!

DJ- We're all going to die ... and what we do while we're here breathing, is of utmost importance to those who get here next. Wishing someone dead may very well do a 'karmic tumbling routine' and come back atcha' -- So it's imperative to be careful - in jest as, well as the rest, and NO! It's not to late to rescind, that is, if you're still breathing!!%^p>

Here's a lil help buddy ...

... wheeeeew, wheeeew, wheeew ...

... I gotta PULSE!!!

IF YOU do a "little each day" and assuage your hatred and fear with some POSITIVE VISUALIZATION (because the future of the planet depends on your imput) then you will notice the diff.

I'm begging you, Please try to envision glasses not half full but over flowing!!! That's simple. It's VERY effective and sadly, beyond small imaginations.

HEY YOUSE UDDERS!!!

Here in California, the highest voter turnout in any district was the 18th, with 75%!!! Probably one of the highest in the nation based on population and eligibility parameters!!

Guess who?

CONDIT - Who, unlike everyone, else is very clear on the concept. (Talk about "unclear on the Condit"???) That's why people were so freaking motivated from Merced to Stockton, as to show up in droves specifically to vote that bum out.

That poor 'ol' boy's' so freaking polluted, his pore's excretions'er gonna get listed as a moving, oozing, SUPERFUND haz-mat cleanup SITE!!! (And that's probably where he had his machine-like-cronies dump her.)

Yes, Angels DO EXIST, and it's not up to us to judge anyone or anything ...

... "CRITIQUE" is more like it.

We critique with our votes. Therefore, we DO make the rules and DO control the money/greed/power machine.

If we get together and PUSH - PUSH - PUSH, (Or re YOU too comfy for a little push?) then we'll fix what's broken. And, nothing short of "saving the planet" will be your reward!!!

GO MAKE IT SO & FEEL BETTER ASAP!!!D.G.

HEY BUFFALO AL!!!

Way to go pardner!!! (APPLAUSE)

We're proud of you here @ troglodytefilms.com and look forward to watching your pikchers on our cave walls.

GOOD GOING GUY!!!D.G.

HEY YOU MATH ADDICTS!!!

Re-incarnation is the variable!!!

GOTTA GOOSE 4 U!!!D.G.

365 x 100 = 36,500 x 10 = 365,000

Now, that's just the tip of the iceberg!

What if you live a million times?

The way I've got it figured, (and this may seem like totally obnoxious juxtapositioning) We start out as Aries, then progress all the way through after "perfecting" each sign, til we reach Pisces, then, if we decide to, we go play golf with GOD. (Or whatever suits your boots!)

I GOTTA KEEP GOING!!!D.G.

HEY BRAINTRUST!!!

Condit did NOT almost win! He garnered 35% to Cardoza's 45%, which computes to exactly: ALL OF THE MONEY GRUBBERS that got him elected for the last thirty years!!!

Condit's only real problem?

He can't look himself in the eye anymore, if ever.

Something as simple as that, can and MUST make the difference between apathy and patriotism.

HEY YOSSI, TANGERINEFELLOW, ET.AL!!!

Go ahead! Try it!! Can you do it?

Look in the mirror and tell yourself,

"I love me."

If you can do that ten times, without looking away, or laughing, or blinking and mean it: I MEAN REALLY MEAN IT ...

... then, there's your truth - POW, right in the kisser!!!

If you can't do it, practice!!!

As for geographical shifts to satisfy your present presence, well, the most valuable piece of terra firma (or h20) on the planet is that which you inhabit this second.

GO AHEAD ... MAKE OUR DAYS!!!D.G.

"PUSH - PUSH - PUSH!!! All the time, right down the line. It's a PUSH - PUSH - PUSH world!", Mr. Yossarian, and you're welcome to it.

P.S. Any semblance of cred vaporized when you admitted the splitz.

As for me? Well, if I keep breathing, I win no matter what happens and I'll keep proselytizing and VOTING and trying to help when I get the chance.

Because PETER PARKER had a chance, once. And when he didn't take it, well, you know what happened to his dear old gentle, Uncle Ben ...

... And that's what Bushy is trying to do with his missile pointing and sabre rattling routine, unfortunately, too many people are getting killed who did nothing to anybody.

"The first casualty in a secret war, is intelligence."

The Taliban offered up Osama to a third party before we bombed them back to the stone-age. All we hadda do was accept and snatch him the moment whoever got him in custody - SIMPLE!!!

But, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, he had go in and make a lot of money to prop up an economy based on nothing but electronic impulses! Which we all know vaporize when the lights go out. Enron? Try the Evil Axis or the 20% out to ruin everybody.

If his Dad had done the job right ten years ago ...

... again, the PETER PARKER PRINCIPLE.

All I can say is this: It's up to us to save the 80% from the 20%, so get on the stick, before the stick gets on you!!!

GO VOTE FOR A MORE SUPREME POWER!!!D.G.

(READ: POSITIVE VISUALIZATION)

Think it, verbalize it, act accordingly.

HEY YOZUR!!!

You am, what you am, and you ain't no more - or know-less. You are blessed with the breath and spark and have a duty.

You know what it is ... under all that which surrounds, confounds and expounds!

GO GET IT BACK & KEEP GOING!!!D.G.

(You KNOW, YOUR: "SPECIAL PURPOSE")

PIERRE' BOULE' told me, he was "re-telling GULLIVER'S TRAVELS"!!!

" ... blew it all to hell! MANIACS!!!"

- BEN HUR, MOSES, PRES. NRA, Et. al

GOT "OOOH-OOOH-OOOH"!!!D.G.

GO VOTE! (A P.S.A. from troglodytefilms.com)

By D.G. Balazs (copyright 2002-all rights reserved)

FADE IN:

INT. ANIMAL BEHAVIORAL CLINIC:

MS. YUPPY (30-ish) talks animatedly (silently) to an assembly of SCIENTISTS, behind a plate glass window in the Control Booth, as an INSTRUCTOR goes through the paces of teaching American Sign Language to a CHIMP.

INSTRUCTOR(To Chimp): A - B - C ... Good Bobo! Good!

The Chimp mimics the sign language perfectly and fluidly:

CHIMP(Sub-titled): A - B - C ... Good Bobo! Good!

Ms. Yuppy turns away from the ASSEMBLED SCIENTISTS to glance at the lesson in progress and ACCIDENTALLY FLICKS the intercom microphone to 'ON' and reveals what she's heatedly talking about:

MS. YUPPY: Oh, no, I haven't got time to vote. Our work here is MUCH too important to take the time to study all of the complexities of who or what to vote for ... I just don't have the time!

The Chimp HEARS this - JUMPS UP - RACES to the plate glass, BANGS on it to get their attention, then expertly signs:

CHIMP(Sub-titled): If you don't, then who will?

He shrugs his eyebrows!

(DISSOLVE TO)

EXT. CHIMP CAMPAIGN H.Q.-DAY (ESTBLSHNG)

"YES ON MEASURE B", posters are plastered all over the windows.

INT. CHIMP H.Q. AUDITORIUM:

A room full of well clad CHIMPS, of all shapes & sizes, listen to their CANDIDATE, (an Orangutan w/slicked back hair) who SIGNS wildly from the stage - In front of a massive poster that shows him passing out bananas to CONSTITUENTS.

The POSTER READS:

A "YES VOTE" on "MEASURE B" equals Bunchies of munchies for all our lunchies!!! CANDIDATE(Sub-titled): If you vote yes on B, there'll be bunchies of munchies for all our lunchies! I guarantee it!

He smiles a sly grin & WINKS to his 3-piece suited CRONIES, who wait in the wings and slap each other on the back as the Chimp Crowd - CHEERS. Confetti FLIES. Balloons POP!

(DISSOLVE TO)

EXT. FOREST - DAY

LONG SHOT: BIGFOOT walking toward us.

MEDIUM to CLOSE-UP:

BIGFOOT: Remember, only YOU can prevent oligarchy ...

(CUT TO)

INT. CHIMP H.Q. AUDITORIUM:

The Candidate & Cronies jump up and down as the Chimps in the Crowd happily and messily devour millions of bananas.

A wide screen display shows the results of the election:

MEASURE "B" WINS BY A LANDSLIDE!

YES = 24% --- NAY - 00%

BANANAS TAX FREE FOR LIFE!!!

--- Chimplicans & Chimplicrats ONLY! --- (Chimplitarians & Chimpatriots - need not apply!)

(CUT TO)

INT. ANIMAL BEHAVIOR CLINIC:

Ms. Yuppy & the assembled Scientists, scratch and preen behind the plate glass window as the Chimps are now in charge - Teaching THEM!

(CUT TO)

EXT. FOREST - DAY

CLOSE-UP on Bigfoot.

BIGFOOT: If you don't vote, who will? It's not too late, go register today.

A BALD EAGLE flies to and lands on an olivetree branch.

BALD EAGLE: Skreeeeee! Skreeeee! Skreeeee!

FADE OUT

This has been a public service announcement, or, pre-emptive strike against apathy in America, or any republic run democratically, brought to you by: troglodytefilms.com

GOTTA BLESS US ALL, EVERYONE!!!D.G.

HEY MR. SEE!!!

Nail pegged profusely upon noggin!!!

"The best defense is is a good offense."

That ten times as many, maybe ten million times as many, who thoroughly and religiously scan the sportspages to glean nuggets of 'foresight' on next weeks bets on every sport imaginable under the stars -- What if they cared enough aabout the "Best game in the Universe"?

Nothing short of revolution ...

... "which makes the world go round."

Did Y'all know it's Autism Awarness Month???

GOTTA KEEP BANGIN' AWAY AT 'EM!!!

HEY MR. SEE!!!

Nail pegged profusely upon noggin!!!

"The best defense is is a good offense."

That ten times as many, maybe ten million times as many, who thoroughly and religiously scan the sportspages to glean nuggets of 'foresight' on next weeks bets on every sport imaginable under the stars -- What if they cared enough about the "Best game in the Universe"?

Nothing short of revolution ...

... "which makes the world go round."

Did Y'all know it's Autism Awarness Month???

GOTTA KEEP BANGIN' AWAY AT 'EM!!!

... two posts, practically EQUAL but for one tiny difference ...

... Anyone? Anyone?

GOTTA READ TO SUCCEED!!!D.G.

HEY YOU DOO-DOO-GOODERS!!!

Try a little tenderness and give a hug to your nearest and dearest living or working friends who have, are, or care for those EQUAL to us, yet in another realm of mental and physical awareness.

GET HOPE IN A HEARTBEAT!!!D.G.

HEY BABSTER!!!

" ... pretentious ... " ???

Not in the sleatist!

A simple moment of malfunctioning digit is to blame, not pretentiously, we hope and pray!!!

If you haven't inspected, or detected, a site called "Writersscriptnetwork" yet, and have POLISHED WORK to post to have it perused by pros, it might make ...

... THIRTY DOLLARS into GIANTS!!!

GET BITES - THEN DEALS!!!D.G.

HEY MILO!!!

If you're forcing it to come out, expect hemorhoids!!!

If you just sit and wait, naturally it'll all come out okay!!!

HEY BRAINSKIDMARKS!!!

YOU are making yourself crazy with a variable twist of your creative juices! Too many do that and it's pretty boring!!

GOTTA TRY SUMPIN GNU!!!D.G.

HEY YESSIR!!!

Technically, YOU did NOT WIN!!!

He stated he was going down for coffee money and we all know, man does not live on java alone ...

... so, as of the moment, the bet's still on!!!

P.S. My pick was: Nose-picking-performance-artiste, with a carbuncle behind the knee chaser!

GOT LANCE - NEED ADVANCE!!!D.G.

HEY PINEAPPLE PUPPETEARS!!!

Y'all're making me laff!!!

GOT GIDDY GOYAS!!!D.G.

HEY "MADE" MIRIAM!!!

You are a sweet PEACH! We look forward to tickets!! We are first in line!!!

GOT "HI!" HOPES!!!D.G.

HEY ALL YOU WREADERS & WRITERS!!!

Did you know that God blesses all those fucking idiots too?

I think that is SWELL!!!

What do YOU THINK?

GOTTA DYNAMO, HMMMMM?!?!?!D.G.

HEY SPARKLER!!!

WHAT? I KANT hear YOU!!! I'm deef!!!

HEY BOB & KAREL - TED & ALICE!!!

Me & Jesus go WAAAY BAAACK! Thanks for the suggestion, though. Peace be with us all, every one!

HEY YELLDERWOOD!!!

Bean making moovies. Got big balls rolling now, Bud. Journey, apple, seeds.

p.s.(FAITH MOVES MOUNTAINS!!!)

HEY CRAIGHEAD!!!

You've been, and will continue to be blessed. All your days and nights. It's your choice as to whether you acknowledge the fact; you're breathing - which is the first miracle! The second being -(Considering the vast cosmos and what we "know", we're all there is and there ain't knowing more.) that we're here at all!!!

HEY RISQUE' BOBBY!!!

I can surmise from your post, these severe truths must be running rampant in your noggin:

A) You're STILL mad at me for calling you "NASTY BOBS" on the AZ boards!!! (Months and months ago.)

B) You're still "afraid" of hell, when the fact is YOU choose to "CREATE" it between your ears and sanctimoniously THRUST it upon everyone who doesn't eat at the same puritannical bullshit trough that you are so afraid of leaving for a moment, to reflect within and how YOU FEEL about - being scared of GOD. (He loves YOU, but doesn't love your narrow-minded poison of fear tactics, associated with structured religions, which, as "we" all know, are there to keep you from learning "How to think" instead of teaching YOU "What to think".

Funny, how someone perverts truth to accomodate "what everybody else does" as gospel!!!

GO IN PEACE OR GO TO PIECES!!!D.G.

P.S. Personally, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT, and it's SWELL - not HELL, and I have it on "good authority" that he may very well "have risen" already. LET'S GO!!!

HEY DIVINE MRS. CUE!!!

Communication w/the Producer is THE key. Understanding - is the only way to stay upon the same wavelengths, AND keep your story - YOUR STORY - while satisfying the "needs" of the Producer!

GOTTA KEEP IN TOUCH!!!D.G.

" GOTTA KEY PIN TOUCHE' "!!!D.G.

HEY ASHTERISQUE*!!!

The creator wonders when we'll take the bullshit by the horns, call the spades what they are and act accordingly; to help those of us who refuse to help themselves, upon their evolutionary plane of ascension, and stop waiting for GOD to do what he gave us the power to do while we're here ...

... It's UP to US - not GOD!!!

He cares about the outcome like any parent does, but the details aren't up to her - even though it loves us. We're here to create joy and happiness. Not to kill and make sorrow so abundant.

CHOICES don't kill, CHOOSERS DO!!!

GOTTA ADMIT IT AND B HAPPY!

Dear Randy,

You are right, I am slamming religion. It is a scam perpetrated on the needy sheep whose wool is the most important commodity in the universe. I am preaching spiritual awareness of what you and are doing at this most critical time in the history of our planet.

You think I hate? That's not the case. D.G. loves all of it. And none of it. And everything in between. I am simply trying to illustrate on cave walls how easy it is to be at one with the universe without the sorrow and bloodshed your religions have caused all of mankind. Jesus was a teacher. He is one of many saviors sent to enlighten us. Yet we (mostly) pay lip service ( and tithes) to glorify his deeds. He just desired to spread happiness through love, now, how hard is that?

You and I are one and the same. There is absolutely no difference between you and I, other than I'm vibrating and you're irritating.

Friction + Fluctuation = Function

As for your rejection of my dogma, well, denial is the first symptom of addiction, isn't it? And we all know addiction to any thing sucks.

Measure your beliefs in the mirror, Randy. If you can look yourself in the eyes, that is. If you can honestly say that you love yourself, thank GOD!

If you can't, keep trying and thank God for the heartbeats!!!

I have not replaced God, I'm just a clone - with fingerprints.

As for offending people, well, that's part of the critical massive situation we're in, now isn't it? How many were offended when Columbus talked of a rounder (kinder) world?

How many were offended by Darwin's thesis?

Newton's?

Francis Ford Coppola's?

Randy, Randy, Randy, I'm not gonna try or attempt to convert anybody to anything, but I am here to teach, so, if you don't have anything to learn, then STOP READING MY POSTS!!!

As for the rest of you, God blessed us with the power of creativity to see how we'd react to it. Sadly, too many have had too much, for too long, and the resultant "human nature" is lacking what it takes to turn earth back into Eden.

Unless of course you want to start all over again, and if that's the case - it's happening right now - and unless we take charge - it'll be much sooner than later.

We're in charge because God gave us that power by creating us in HIS/HER/IT'S image.

Be happy while you're here and perfect your life - then go to Heaven!!!

It's nice and cool here in the cave.

MANIFEST PEACE BY IMAGINING IT!!!D.G.

HEY STEVIE WANDERER!!!

Guess what? I'm millions of years old and what I know and who I am and why I am here is to simply teach others a better way to live while we're here.

Apparently that rubs many seekers in a way not suitable for common consumption. Yet, here I am, still doing it. Jesus is YOUR savior, as well as the OTHERS. That is something I truly believe. I believe there were and ARE others, like Jesus. There are some just like Jesus here today. It's important to consider that the first thirty or so years of Jesus life aren't recorded - he was taking OTHER PATHS!!!

There is no right or wrong.

It's important to walk for miles in another's shoes if you truly have the desire to understand what they go through. My enlightenment is just as it is and my path is where ever I go, because I've traveled for many, many years in others shoes.

I have no desire to poo-poo anyone's religious beliefs - just structured religion. It is a sham meant to keep the money in the hands of those who know the least of what Jesus came here to accomplish. Our salvation.

Sadly, most Americans are more interested in their next shopping trip than the future of our country and unless millions of nobodies step up and take charge - the greed and fear based religions will continue to flourish on the corpses of those who are completely innocent of nothing more than apathy.

GOT GOD NEED GUMPTION!!!D.G.

HEY SNICKERS!!!

Guess who Buddha & Vishnu really were?

GOTTA HUNCH!!!D.G.

P.S.!!!

Coulda, woulda and shoulda in one hand.

Fart in the other.

Which one fills up first?

GOING, GOING, GONG!!!D.G.

EXT. ACATRAZ ISLAND - DAY (1940)

AL CAPONE is interviewed by a MOVIE TONE NEWSREEL REPORTER.

REPORTER- How do you see yourself.

CAPONE- I'm a good guy.

REPORTER- You've killed many people.

CAPONE- They needed it.

All of a sudden, a mighty hand descends from the fog and smites Al Capone.

HAND- That oughta do it.

FADE OUT

(Now, what do we see here? Divine retribution? Why most certainly. Let's hope all the naysayers and fingerpointers fall off piers and drown. That way, there'll be more stuff for all the self-righteous puritannical bullshit swallowers!!!)

YEAH GOTTA PUNCH THEM TICKETS!!!D.G.

BTW, Sterling Hayden was a friend of mine. He went through several major changes in his long illustrious life. His motto was and is:

"Fuck 'em all!"

Personally, I think we may be gettig closer to that than he ever thought we would and I think it sucks.

We're all in this spaceship called earth together. ALL OF US breathe the same air , eat the same food, and drink the same water. IF we aren't able to live and work together on this ship, then what have we got left? Well?

Too many have been killed by those who profess loud and clear their allegiance to God and Christ - when it was simple guttoral fear and greed all along - NOT GOD or CHRIST!!!

We're all going to Heaven as soon as we get this act together down here on earth.

ALL OF US ARE GOING!!!

P.S. I may have another million years to go, but Jesus! This is fun! I wanna keep coming back to eat strawberries, if for no other reason - SO DOES BIG FOOT!

HEY YOU SWEET SPIRITS!!!

What if I told you we're all going to Heaven, regardless of what or who you believe in?

What if Al Capone, Hitler, Stalin, Anne Frank, Mother Theresa and the POPE will all get to Heaven?

Well, it's true. We're all going. There are those who will decide not to, this lifetime, but eventually, they will see the light - even if it takes two million lifetimes. Those who prefer to cause pain and suffering will hopefully not do that next time. Their choice, not God's.

If you go within, you'll never, be without. As demonstrated by the brainwashed sheep who continue to kill themselves and others - only to shit themselves right back into another incarnation - another life to try and see the light of God's love and beautiful sense of humor!!!

GET THE LEAD OUT!!!D.G.

HEY SUPER STEVE!!!

Hit the back button. Cut or copy, then re-log in and paste - VOILA'!!!

GOTTA QUIT BEING AFEARED O'GOD!!!D.G.

p.s.Damn it! THERE IS NO HELL!!! There is only those who wish you to believe so. In order to FORCE you into servitude, HELL was invented to scare you. GOD DON'T SCARE PEOPLE - PEOPLE DO.

"You can never just relax, because the whole world needs help."

"We can actually cure ourselves of depression if we recognize that the world we have is good."

"A genuine sense of humor is having a light touch: not beating reality into the ground but appreciating reality with a light touch."

-- Dorje Dradul of Mukpo

As for swallowing - I am all for it!!! As it's an integral part of survival - alas - those poor souls who only revere the sunsets and never realize the immortality of the sunrise - slowly - yet ever burning down to nothing and everything - simultaneously - the divine dichotomy in action - the never-never land where perpetual motion is reality and the experience of being is that of brave and responsible care giving of the earth - the whole enchilada - as we reap - so shall we sew - do what we can and life's swell - do nothing and whither away to feed the worms another day.

As for knot knowing GOD - MY GOD MAN!!! What are YOU thinking - that you gotta be a saint or something? For Christ's sake! Anyone is elligible to look at a flower or blade of grass or cloud and know GOD personally!!! What can be more simple?

As for hell, like I said, the prisons are full of them. Until we envision an enlightened society and take steps accordingly - that perpetual reality will keep going, and going, and going!!!

Now, what are YOU prepared to do about it?????

GET KNOW STRINGS!!!D.G.

HEY SPARKIE!!!

Why, YOU've just painted an imagination of the MAGNITUDE of GOD quite succinctly.

Well done, Grasshopper. Now, YOU are ready.

GO WITHIN OR GO WITHOUT!!!D.G.

HEY HAPPY GUYS/GALS-MORE!!!

Adam is funny - to look at!!!

I laugh just looking at his wry grin that knows "something" YOU don't!

Something just behind THAT curtain, over there in the left-field corner.

Now, his movies are quite another story. They tend to cater to the lowest common demonator - skidmark-in-the-underwear - and deflect from (this guy from left-field's) true genius - which is the ability to make even the most curmudgeonly and dower demeanor to lighten up a bit and smile.

Anybody that can make us laugh, at ourselves and life in general, has to be enlightened - to some extent - and has to be honored for the gifts he/she bestows upon those less likely to be having aany fun yet.

GOTTA WORK - PLAY - LOVE!!!D.G.

HEY MISSPELLO!!!

We can only hope that your work flows with fluidity, as opposed to your posting technique, which is lacking in the liquid department.

NOTE: Not meant as a critcal criticism, but merely a fact: Your stuff won't get read if it's not polished and flaw-free.

HOPE YER FLOTSAM AIN'T JETSAM TOO!!!D.G.

HUMAN NATURE = The desire to eat good things in a safe place.

GREED = The desire to deprive others of human nature, due to the fear of not ever having enough to go around.

LOVE = Understanding that we all breathe the same air, eat the same food, drink the same water and that there will always be enough to go around - forever!

STUPIDITY = Polluting the air, food and water in order to be greedier and greedier.

GET CRITICALLY AMASSED NOW!!!D.G.

HEY SCRIPTUREPALOOZERS!!!

80% of us are driven by human nature.

20% of us are driven by greed.

100% of us are loved by God.

It's up to each person to deliver his or herself from "evil" by exhibiting actions that do no harm - enhance the experience - and above all, are creative. That's God in us - working!

There is no such thing as "Good or Evil" - these are simply words, like so many others, that try to explain the polar opposites of our collective consciousness; Our feelings of "love & hate" - ying-yang, blah, blah, blah.

These are only perceptions, gleaned by the current inhabitants of earth, based on their experience - in their own particular geographical and economical environments.

"We" are here, now, and to bypass THAT miracle with tit-for-tat responses; that kill people - is the closest thing to sin as I can imagine, and I prefer NOT to imagine that.

WE GOT JOY-JOY-HAPPY-HAPPY!!!D.G.

HEY FLAMEY!!!

Guess what? You make it up as YOU see fit!!! Wrong & right are purely dependent on your theory of such.

Sadly, we live in a world where so many decide to look the other way. When YOU & I know what's morally and socially acceptable behavior, yet do nothing, say nothing and forget it as soon as we see it happening, then WE are just as culpable as the perpetrators!!!

So, what have YOU DONE lately?

GOT TOO MANY DEEDS YET TO DO!!!D.G.

P.S. Once in a while, my left index finer misses a G - usually when it's typin fast - or spellin Yin & Yan, Man!!! Thanx fer ketchin' dat, Dood%^)>

HEY NATTERING NABOOBS!!!

What I do is simple.

I love myself.

From that simple truth, the universe opens up and reveals what it's all about to each individual able to accomplish the simplest of feats.

People imagine Aliens came here a long time ago and started this "zoo".

People imagine an all seeing entity that actually cares about our petty details - that are derived mostly from the lack of actually having to survive - as opposed to incessant leasure time, to imbibe the most fluid substances known to man and piss on everything not affecting them - RIGHT NOW!!!

People imagine a world society that understands and respects each others' right to eat and sleep in a safe environment, free of the spreading of lies, hatred and blood, to enhance the experience of so few - on the corpses of so many.

People imagine a world where we celebrate our differences and enjoy the diversity we have on earth.

What do I do?

Hopefully, just in the nick of time ...

... I AM!!!D.G.

HEY BOYZnBERRIES!!!

RODNEY - Can't we all just get along?

WE - Where's the DRAMA in THAT?

H'WOOD - Will it sell soap?

R-SPARKN'T - They're YOU go again!

SHVARTZIE - There, Oui go against!!

D.G. - Me making meaningful movies!!!

J.C. - I love you!

GOD - Duh!!!

FADE OUT

HEY PURITAN B.S. SPREADERS!!!

I don't "get it", but I'm gonna if I don't swallow your fear based theology?

BULL SHIT!!!

We are all going to Heaven!!!

Some of us just need a few million more incarnations before they "get it".

As for demons and angels. Both are in existence, due to our ability to create our reality out of a thin ethereal plane called: THE MIND!!!

I know for a fact that angels are real. As real as STAR WARS & JOSEPH CAMPBELL!

As real as JESUS & GENGHIS KHAN!!

AS real as the nose on your face!!!

(Obviously, demons are just as real.)

As for gaining spiritual uplifting via the Congregation - it's totally valid. So is gaining spiritual oneness with yourself, the trees, the birds, the bees. (You don't have to drive like an old maid amongst maniacs to "get there".

I too believe Jesus Christ came here to show us a better way to live with each other AND God.

What do you think Jesus is going to say when he gets back and sees how much we've listened to his two millenium old credo?

J.C. - Weren't YOU fucking listening?!?!?

God doesn't pick and choose - WE DO!!!

AND WE'RE ALL GOING!!!D.G.

(regardless of your current affiliations.)

HEY YOU FAR(T) THINKERS!!!

The initial post about A Bigfoot/Jesus was meant to expand some boxed up minds and hopefully propel thoughts from left-field into the mass consciousness forming right now - to save our planet from our species' lack of understanding nature and it's perfect precision.

If ANY of you believe in a higher power, you're well on your way to delivering us all from the rampant 3rd graders running things, and severely screwing them up. If it's a fear based higher power, you have to wake up and realize that if you hadn't chosen this life, YOU might be in heaven already.

It's each and every individuals' responsibility to love, work and play in three equal parts - then and only then will you learn what it's like to be at one with the cosmos. Too much of any ingredient spoils the recipe.

As for some of you percieving my EXCLAMATIONS!!! as just another angry diatribe by one who's quite probably a whacko - well, they considered Jesus a whacko way back when - so, I am in "good" company and God's "country".

I am NOT ANGRY!!! I am driven to do what I can, based on what I've recieved personally, from on high - and make no apologies for bashing "structured religions" for what they've done to so many for so long. It's truly pitiful.

No matter where you're at, the most valuable piece of real estate is right under your feet. Jesus knew that, taught that, lived that. He gleaned the tenets of the "structured religions" and found them lacking, saw his role in the world, jumped on his High-horse and started galloping - to his eventual crucifixion, using his common sense to make people understand the miracle of the heart beating in our chests. If YOU don't get that, you will just keep coming back til YOU DO GET IT.

(As many of you might wish upon poor lil ol me, who has done nothing but turn over some rocks and watch the snakes wiggle, hither and thither - in their own juices.)

Jesus SAW THE BIG PICTURE - and acted accordingly. As does Jimmy Swaggert, Oral Roberts (No relation to Randy) Jim Bakker and all the rest of the puritannical bullshitters out for a buck ! The only difference being that Jesus was completely enlightened and the rest sorely lacking in that regard.

The simple fact is that those guys, ALL OF THEM have been part and parcel to actually performing a great deal of miracles - involving those who were totally lost and now have a higher power to help them through their perceived miserable lives.

We are here to create joy and happiness.

We are not here to kill and spill blood.

Hell, even Bigfoot KNOWS THAT!!!

Once again, I ask, what have you done to create peace in this world?

No, I am not interested in your feeble attempts to answers.

I am interested in YOU lighting fires beneath bushes, so those who choose an enlightened path, can SEE and will help us turn the events of stupidity and greed around and replenish the atmosphere with love for every one and every thing, without the FEAR being held over the heads of babies and children. God loves not hating!!!

Anger? If that's what YOU CHOOSE to believe, get in line!!! The space between your ears delineated as so much grey-matter is just as much eventual worm food as the structured dogma, written by those who desired nice little sheep to rob, while eating like fat pigs and leafing through their "works in progress" not God's words - MANS.

GO WITHIN OR GO WITHOUT!!!D.G.

HEY SUPERDUPERMAN!!!

It just hit me!!!

I've thoroughly run the ...

... GAMAUNTLET!!!

GOTTA COIN W/TWO HEADS!!!D.G.

{%^p>

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART IS???

Life is beautiful!!!

GOT ONE!!!D.G.

HEY MITCHELLANGELO!!!

What's the possibility of sending me an E-copy of your book? I'd LOVE to read it!!!

GOT HOPE - NEED ROPE!!!D.G.

Writing a spec about the legendary BLACK BART, the stagecoach robber from the gold-rush-era - who preyed upon Wells Fargo, exclusively. (And the U.S. Mail)

Setting up locations and crew/cast for the trailer we're shooting this month for HOBO GROVE. (My first feature!)

Gearing up to shoot a short I wrote that revolves around a series of events that actually happened - HINT - think BIGFOOT meets THE CRANKSTER GANGSTERS!

Networking like a red-headed stepchild.

Going to Yosemite!!!

And THAT's just the tip of the iceburg!

GOT CUPS RUNNING OVER!!!D.G.

HEY ALL YOU NEBRASKANSANS!!!

This Guy lives very close to the racetack: Santa Anita - in S. Cal.

He was working with the guy who played the Grandfather in WILDERNESS FAMILY & the Benedict Arnold in Rowdy Roddy Piper's b-budget classic about aliens in people's clothing taking over - His name is Buck Flower.

Buck and Ed have been in the business for a long, long time.

I ran into them six years ago and came out of the daze that they liked my script - when they asked for thousands and thousands to re-write it to industry spec - BEFORE - they felt it was shoppable in H'wood.

So, unless you're independently wealthy, love to feed the bookies, racehorses and old guys not in your immediate family - STEER CLEAR!!!

NOT GUNNA DEW IT!!!D.G.

HEY ALIEN WHY-OH-ME-ING!!!

Better yet, send ME the equivalent of the entry fees and actually get a piece of my first feature!!!

That is, if it's worth a hundred bucks for the return of $1,250. upon each million we make in a sale, or distribution deal!!!

GO TO MY BIO FOR CONTACT INFO!!!D.G.

HEY SPIRO T. SPARKLETS!!!

"better people" ??????????????

Better than what? A heroine addict? An alcoholic? A Jew? A Ba(b)tist? A millionaire? A surfer? A carpenter? A king?

All of us are created by the miracle of miracles - THE HEARTBEAT!!!(THANKS GOD!)

We have the opportunity to do something for the sake of mankind and the planet NOW!!! It is time to look yourself in the eye and be honest - YOU LOVE YOU!!!

If YOU don't, YOU are elligible, if, you do a simple little exercise every day.

Look into your eyes in the mirror. Without looking away, blinking, laughing, or becoming distraught at the inability to do so immediately - tell yourself this ...

... "I LOVE ME."

Do it ten times without losing your gaze. When YOU are adept at such - then I'll believe whatever YOU DO - OR SAY!!!

GO GUARANTEE "OUR" SURVIVAL!!!D.G.

HEY ONIONATED BREATHERS!!!

YES! O-N-I-O-N-A-T-E-D !!!

I startd this thread to make a point. It's imbedded in a script I wrote before Sept. 11, 2001. That script was re-written and is now live at AZ.

If any of you've got a membership at the ZOETROPE.COM site, and the time or inclination to possibly have a different type of experience, while reading a Spec, or simply have the desire to trash me or my work, (or praise it) then I'll guarantee you one thing, and one thing only - I'll still LOVE YOU.

GO GET: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARTH

AND GO IN PEACE or GO TO PIECES!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GOERS!!!

It seems as though Writers Script Network is moving and shaking as we speak. $30 bucks for six months.

GOT MORE THAN A FEW BYTES THERE!!!D.G.

Like I said, they've been around for years and are connected.

Just don't send any money unless you're solvent.

O.J.'s GOT CREDITS TOO!!!D.G.

HEY YOU BROTHERS&SISTERS!!!

It's up to us folks. Or it's gonna be over soon. Visualize PEACE!!!

GOTTA THINK IT!!!D.G.

HEY TOM-TOM!!!

What I meant to say in my post was this:

When you've got the perfect query letter, go to the WGA website and look down the list of Agencies that SPECIFICALLY STATE that they accept letters from newbies or unknowns.

Make your letter as stunning as possible and YOU're on your way!!!

GET YOUR "GOODS" OUT THERE!!!D.G.

HEY R&R RELIGION!!!

You are incorrect!!!

Simply enter your short stories in their "WRITERS OF THE FUTURE" ""CON-TEST""!!!

Then, when you're summarily rejected for six solid months in a row, YOU write them a letter asking to "SEE" who won!!!

Then, when YOU get no response, write them again and threaten to tell the D.A. that they're running a fake ""CON TEST""!!!

This is a simple and fact based account of how easy it is to get OFF their list!

GOT HOLES FULL O' PURITANS!!!D.G.

HEY ASHES2ASHES!!!

Thanks for the feedback on my script!!!

You have a VERY DIPLOMATIC sense of critique!!!

I look forward to the possibility of working WITH YOU toward world peace.

Alas, my "rantings" & "ravings" must have clouded your ability to see between the lines of THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARTH - and for that, I scream, "MEA CULPA"!!!

As for those seeds embedded by my "ten year old" cyber-personna that MUST have caused your eyes to glean the immediateness of the positive visualization message, well, I hope those lumps on your head weren't caused by my psuedo-biblical babbling.

I ought to know better!!!

YOU GOT SPUNK SISTAH!!!D.G.

HEY YOU UDDER GUYS!!!

When and IF you EVER find the truth, (in your own eyes) you will immediately cease the philosophical and theology lessons and embark on a path that'll lead to HEAVEN right under your very own feetsies!!!

Any schmuck of a monk knows that!!!

GET THEE TO THINE REFLECTORY!!!D.G.

HEY BOB & KAREL, TED & SPURNEY!!!

ROTFLOL!!!!

You kids are TOO MUCH!!!

Stop it! My ribs ache!!!

YES! I AM HIDING SOME THING!!!

Yes, the real estate under your feet, where ever they happen to be, is the most precious piece on EARTH!!!

Why do you assume MY RELATIONSHIP is not direct and purely the same as each and everyone elses, if they have the desire to see THE LIGHT?

Was it something I said?

Well then, we ALL KNOW how limiting words can be when you're talking about spiritality ... that being the case ...

... GOD EVEN BLESSES THE FUCKING IDIOTS!

GONNA GO SHAKE HANDS RIGHT NOW!!!D.G.

HEY YOU MORAN CITY MADMEN!!!

Guess what? Guns don't kill people, people do. The guns' choice is to simply lay there until someone picks it up!!!

What if you were in the position to save countless lives during one of the up-coming wild scenarios that seem to haappen every other week, (Or day?) by simply squeezing off a round or two at the right time - OVER some idle-handed miscreants head?

Will that NOT be a deterrent from molesting your Granny for her Social Security check just pulled out of the mailbox?

Guns will always be around. Teaching people to use them properly will not be around much longer if they're banned. When's the last time you heard about a Cop or other Law Enforcement Official being in the right place and time to prevent the mayhem we read and see?

It happens. But not nearly as many times as YOU and I are there. I WISH I was in Yosemite when Cary Staynor's brother kidnapped those three tourists. One less Staynor walking around and three more tourists still breathing.

When we figure out that teaching the kids - HOW TO THINK, instead of - WHAT TO THINK, then, and ONLY THEN, will the trangressors get what they deserve!!!

GO THINK ABOUT IT!!!D.G.

(Then DO SOMETHING FUN!!!)

YEAH, yeah, yeah ...

... I need some sleep too!

I meant to say Steven, not Cary, as Cary is the mescreant I'd have popped!

And to finish the thought about - HOW TO THINK - ... Then and only then will we be on the road to a truly civilized society of beings here to enjoy our selves and stop the needless pain.

GOT MEANS TO ENDS!!!D.G.

HEY YOU GUISE & DOWLS!!!

Which is worse?

Stupidity, or terrorism?

We were lucky enough to spend a week in Moab, Utah last year - we shot some incredible mountain bike footage and had a great time talking story with a group of high school students and their parents. There were about 40 of us.

For a solid week, I noticed that the students made very disparaging remarks aimed a another student, who was obviously very enthusiastic about the trip - but also very slow and pedantic, yet never got it right! He was the continual butt of jokes.

Now, these students all go to the same church. They are "God fearing" and know the penalties visited upon sinners.

One night, after I'd finally had enough, I asked them this:

"What if 'SLOW PEDANT' was the second coming?"

All of their eyes grew to twice and even three times the norm! Then one of them said,

"Then I am going to hell!" To which all the rest laughed and confirmed that they too will be right behind!!!

I told them,

"If that's how you think, then you're already in hell."

I was not invited back to Moab this year.

GOTTA WHOLE IN MY HEAD TOO!!!D.G.

It's the ONLY thing TO DO!!!

Somebody was once (ill)quoted as saying;

"That which you do to your neighbor, you do to yourself."

I have no idea WHO was being quoted (or paraphrased) but it seems that it rings true. Criminals hurt people and violate them and when we catch them, their rights are severely curtailed - much like the victims' sense of security!

Obviously we all have to have a sense of selfishness and caution but in the westernized (greed-based) version of capitalism, the "goes around, comes around" is starting to bite real hard, as witnessed by the myriad of shocking collapses in the news around the world.

We treated each other like a dollar bill for so long, instead of a friend and fellow co-habitant WITH a dollar, that we're all on the verge of wondering what to do when next weeks check is not there anymore.

We've often sat idly by, whilst the modern day Robber Barons' milked our combined futures for the price of destroying our delicate ecosystem with man-made chemicals and synthetic foods.

GET GRIP - GAIN NEW REALITY!!!D.G.

HEY YOU PHREE THINKERS!!!

We ARE in the presence of GOD this instant!!!

And the next and the next, ooops! There goes another and another!!!

I just watched Robin Williams and AnnaBella Sciorria in - WHAT DREAMS MAY COME - nice, very nice!

What intrigued me the most was during the credits, the disclaimer stating that "no persons living or dead" was not the normal disclaimer, as it included "or reincarnated"!!!

We go round and round til we ascend.

AND WE'LL KEEP GOING TIL WE GET IT!!!D.G.

HEY ALL YOU LADIES & GENTLEMEN!!!

Within the walls of this puny little cyber-cave of bouncing opinions, the simple fact remains - WE are here to create our own Heaven from the tools God gave us.

If YOU are truly happy being who you are, there is no need for any structured religion, unless you have an aabundance of money, time and the inclination to save the world from what? Evolution?

GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO!!!D.G.

P.S. Thanks for the SWELL repartee'!!!

ME GONE!

HEY WAYBILL!!!

I've networked w/some VERY talented writers over the past four years at AZ. My experiences have run the "gamauntlet"!

I landed my first agent and fired my first agent - had a multi-million dollar deal fall through my agents' fingers - been conned by miscreants, malcontents and morons, who did nothing but waste my time and theirs.

Also, I've met some of the sweetest, sincerest, most special people in my entire life! Given the chance to do it all again - I'd jump at it - warts & all!!

NOTE: It is all about a carrot & stick, and even though FFC hasn't followed through on his promise to buy or option as many stories as he said he was going to in the beginning ... there's still that chance that a slate of scripts will be bought, so, don't get your expectations up too high or too low, better yet, don't expect at all but be prepared to run with some talented and ascerbic wits. As well as cretinous maladroit children in "writer's " clothes.

Yes. When you upload your script, all full members on the site can go get it and read it at their desire. They have the live ones listed by author, logline, for you to peruse - also losted by most recent and most reviews, etc. Lots of choices.

I'm pretty sure the new members have to slog thru whatever they give you for the first four - so you may, or may not be into reading total dreck, or a masterpiece on pure chance.

As for the caliber of the writers. There are many established writers with credits up the butt. So, if you mean - "Does anyone over there get paid to write?" YES!

After a month of reads/reviews, depending on your scripts scores, they say that they review the best ones. Unfortunately, I don't think they really can read all of them, unless it's garnered exceptional marks - as they have several people working there that can't possibly keep up with the top three of the month, much less the scripts that come through the "proper channels" i.e. WGA Writers.

They are simply too busy running FFC's empire to lend too much credence to the mostly un-agented, un-credited, wannabes and neophytes "brilliant screenplays", to give the good ones the scouring they desreve. IMHO.

You're either an artist that gets lucky, or a relentles pursuer of your dreams and visions, so, it's your choice as to whether you slog through whatever gets handed to you for the first four.

If you've got the time - I believe it'll be worth it. If you don't, there are several sites that you pay to play at, that have had quite some success.

Scriptwritersnetwork.com is one.

As for the private offices. It's a lot of work to keep up on if you have other irons in the fire. When you run into a work you like, or a discussion on the boards that points to someone you may feel the urge to know better, simply ask for an invite to their office. Ask and ye shall ... you know what!!!

GO WORK, PLAY & LOVE!!!D.G.

HEY BROW LASH!!!

Bigfoot's latest exploits may be perused at your leisure at:

www.bfro.org

If you dare!!!

GO SEE FER YUSSEF!!!D.G.

CORRECTION!!!

www.bfro.net not .org

GET OUT!!!D.G.

HEY MIRIAZMICTRON!!!

Ooooh, whaat's that BUZZING???

... And the rest appreciate much needed leavening!!!

GET BIG GULPS!!!D.G.

HEY COUNT R. FITZ!!!

When YOU submit a script, it stays in the system until YOU delete it. If it's well recieved and garners a "top three" for the month spot, then the reads increase exponentially, as there are the curious - who love a train wreck and, the occasional Producer, Director, Actor, looking for a viable project to pick up for a song and a dance from an as yet unknown entity; On their way to becoming the next ???? YOU!!!

As long as it takes you to read & review, is your time limit for becoming a full member. You have one month and then a ten day grace period to enter the review. Please take your time when reviewing and read some samples onsite to help you get the feel for such, if you don't already know, and try as be as insightfull as possible to the writer, as to "How you see it"

I never blow sunshine up people's asses, when it comes to their work, and I hope that my quaking lectures to those who are lacking, does nothing to quell their desire to write a spec you can sit and read in an hour or two, instead of hours and hours of slogging through every mistake in the book - unceremoniously unleashed upon our poor tired eyes, minds and egos.

Take your time.

GO GETCHA SUN!!!D.G.

HEY BARB A REE BARB!!!

Documentation, documentation, DOCUMENTATION!!!

#1 Copyright!

#2 Personal copies!!

#3 Communication!!!

We've queried, submitted and asked for the sale ... time will tell!

GOTTA KNOT WANNA!!!D.G.

(U gotta DO, uh!)

HEY BARB A REE BARB!!!

Documentation, documentation, DOCUMENTATION!!!

#1 Copyright!

#2 Personal copies!!

#3 Communication!!!

We've queried, submitted and asked for the sale ... time will tell!

GOTTA KNOT WANNA!!!D.G.

(U gotta DO, uh!)

If Christ came back as Bigfoot ...

... he'd teach YOU where to hunt the juiciest berries, the leanest venison and the biggest miracles!!!

He'd lead you not into temptation.

She'd lead you to the river to cleanse.

They'd smack you in the side of the head when you exhibit self destructive tendencies.

They'd teach us the miracle of life in Eden - and each liviing beings symbiotic relationship with our big blue marble.

GOTTA LOVE IT - THEN LEAVE IT!!!D.G.

And ...

... if you just happen to be disabled, or of an ethnic minority, you've got an even better chance ... RIGHT?

The "DISNEY" movie stereotype (wholesome, morally 'correct') went out with BERT PRELUTZKI's great-grandchild's bathwater!!!

And the fact they rely on writer's with major genre shifts from script to script, is something that drove me to switch genres so severely.

GOT FAITH - NEED DEALS!!!D.G.

HEY, UH, HELLO???

All of our souls make the choice to experience life here on Earth and all it's facets because:

IT'S THE BEST SHOW IN THE UNIVERSE!!!

I mean REALLY, where else can you "get" from point A to point Z - AND everywhere inbetween, while simply waking up each day? We get to choose each day what kind of feelings and desires keep our souls coming back - IT'S FUN HERE!!!

Those who decide it's not, often run out and hurt someone, in order to gain comradeship in their self-imposed hell. Those are the 20% that have made the decision to screw it up for the majority.

Now, what on God's Green Earth are YOU prepared to do about it???

NO!!! I don't have any desire to HEAR about it, or READ about it.

I have the desire to help the fuzzy-theologists know;

There's enough for everybody to go around - for thousands of years!!! Without all that pain and anger.

Rise above it and BE THE LIGHT!!!

GO WITH IN!!!D.G.

HEY CRAIGHEAD!!!

Dude, I so can NOT wait to break bread with you ... again and again and again!!!

BACK & KNOT 4 GOTTEN!!!D.G.

HEY WILD B.M.!!!

Simply be honest with your opinion of the works - as a viable entity in the motion picture industry - and it will only serve to propel the writers to seek solutions - or come to the realization the reviewer simply has his/her head up his/her ass.

Some scripts flow, some don't. Specs simply HAVE TO FLOW - or they usually will be round filed instantly - unless the contact is sexual in nature - which isn't always counter to careers in H'wood!!!

If it sucks - say so!

If it rocks, review it accordingly.

As for bent feelings, well, that's part of learning the craft - as negative re-enforcement seems to actually drive the engines of creativity into an almost perpetually thick-skinned-machine that churns out script after script after script ...

... But, YOU already know that!

GO MAKE YOUR "GOOD LUCK" HAPPEN!!!D.G.

HEY SPAR-KING!!!

If you must know - the last time I was here - it was as a writer! A poet who lived above the Monterey Bay in Carmel. A poet who cared about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees. One who eschewed the folly of man's greedy angry superstitions - based on the fear of not having enough to go around. And, as fate has it, I've been named after his twin sons this time around!!!

And, if you're into reading, Mitch's lil book is a quick-paced, sexy/action/adventure piece, that's sure to keep even the most prurient H'wood interests slathering at the bit to produce it for the big, spread wide-open for all to see, screen!!!

Who was I before that? Well, if YOU don't remember, there's a reason for that. Mostly, it's because you'd go mad, if given the total picture, in an un-enlightenend and slowly vibrating incarnation, as the evolutionary plane to your Valhalla takes it's own sweet time getting there, it's better to just ...

... GO WITH IT!!!D.G.

HEY PHUMBLING PHUME BREATHERS!!!

GAS = A fluid substance with the ability to expand indefinitely.

GREEDY = Excessively desirous of wealth, profit, etc.

FEAR = A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain.

This un-holy trinity dictates your days and nights!!! Not the father, the sun, or the wholly ghost!!!

When you acknowledge this simple fact, then WE all can proceed with "doing the right things", like trusting, caring, pointing out self-destructive behavior, teaching those that don't "get it" that behavior is un-acceptable in a civilized (world) society.

We spent: HOW much in a WAR ON DRUGS?

On TERROR?

On self-improvement?

On real "Star WARS"?

On why there's a platypus?

The innvaluable answers and solutions?

We haven't spent enough!!!

To what end do we spend? Til everyone has a computer, tv, dvd, two cars and and an suv, a webber gas-powered barbecue, a Phd. but not enough to buy milk for the children who are starving to death right next door???

"Give 'em a fish!", you scream, as you pull out your wallet and allow those brilliant boyz & girlz in government to fix it all up nice and tidy with your taxes?

Well I am screaming too!!! On top of the old box of soap, (better to clean your ears, than your BMW!!!) at the top of my polluted lungs - TEACH THEM TO FISH!!!

If YOU aren't able to grasp the universal sense of humor, then why do YOU expect God to?

Once again, God doesn't give a fig for our petty bullshit dramas. His only desire is that we actually make it work here on Earth and won't kill off everything, again and again and again!!!

YOU THINK mankind's nature is warlike, then it is.

YOU THINK the world's a cesspool, then it is.

YOU THINK DNA combined with water and dirt and salt won't grow another Adam or Eve given 1,825 billion sunrises, then it won't.

I THINK we live in never ending miracles of breath - heartbeats - inspiration and the desire to eat good food in a safe place, so I do.

THEY THINK that's a terrible way to think and if they "kill" me, then it is.

Ever hear about being careful what you wish for, cuz YOU might just get it?

I wish everyone will "GET" that simple act of creation and then THINK accordingly.

Too simple? YES!!! That's why all YOU smarties don't concur!!! There's no proof! No formula to pinpoint a feeling!!!

GOT EMOTIONS?

Now, WHO's laughing their ass off???

YOUR CHOICES, ALL!!!!

DON'T GO BLAME GOD 4 YOUR CHOICES!!!D.G.

HEY PIERCEY!!!

I was re-ferring to their alledged "critera" in discovering new voices.

Correct me if I am mistaken?

GOTTA GO CASH A CHECK!!!D.G.

HEY KERNAL!!!

Planting seeds in the mecca of country music must be exhilarating, when you mix in the fact, most bumpkins'd kill for Christ by God!!!

(And, don't thank me!!! They'll think we're swapping spit or something as vulgar!)

BUMPKIN GONE & DONE DIRTY DEEDS!!!D.G.

HEY X POUND ON THIS!!!

For a moment, just a brief moment, consider this:

Most of us are in store for a multitude of sunrises ... given that fact, some will succeed and some will fail in their "careers" as writers for the screen. Some that are just now cutting their teeth on the craft, will be working and slaving their way into a position at an agency, prod/co, studio, independent, or even in a talented artists employ ... whatever.

One day, that person who wrote the worst dreck you've ever laid eyes upon but STILL took the time to read and review, is going to either be in a position to work with a person who took the time to lay it on the line as a fellow writer (or not) YOUR CHOICE!!!

One person you "clicked" with, that lead to another and another and another, is what they call networking. If you aren't able to land an Agent, or Mgr, or publicist - what other ways, besides the constant queries, do you have to get your stuff out there?

If your stuff is up to par and you know it. Why is it so difficult to get it produced? When you aren't pluggen in - you're plugged OUT of Hollywood. They've got more than enough players, writing dreaming and scheming as it is, why add YOU or ME?

CONNECTIONS!!!

If you don't network with those "beneath" your obvious talented self, then you miss out on the real give and take method of living out your dream, of being a paid player.

Generally, I don't consider myself a "joiner", as my drums beat a rhythm it seems too few can hear and I've had some terrible experiences happen at AZ, but, when I think of the writers I've crossed paths with ... and swords with ...

... I get all warm and fuzzy inside!!!

Why?

Because I know, from these whore for a dollars mouths and minds, that something I saw and read them the riot act on, improved a script that got picked up.

Nothing beats helping brothers and sisters attain their highest hopes.

NOTHING!!!

If you prefer to stay in a closed circuit and get as famous and popular within that circle, (like back in College) remember that circle of fans shrinks exponentially when you do step out and test the waters in the world of wannabes, neophytes, naysayers, sinners and Saints!!!

There are SEVERAL established professionals, in all aspects of filmmaking who network at AZ, so, as for how does Potluck help?

Pot - luck helps those that help themselves.

GO GET 'EM TIGERS!!!D.G.

HEY BRAIN WASH!!!

Looook deeep into your eyes ...

.... deeeeper, deeeeeeeeper ...

... AND another thing!

Any "writer" who can't stand to read another's "trash" is not a "writer". But simply digging for gold.

GOT NUGGETS?!?!?!D.G.

HEY SEW, SEW ASHE!!!

So, tell us!!! Is Writers Script Network run by Scientolojists? Is that the question that prompted this thread's topmostest, upper echelon of proclamations to "watch it newby"?

GOT A ONE DURRR???D.G.

Dear Mr. Bryan Walsh,

It is with my deepest apologies that I write this note to you and nobody else but you. I did not mean to "quote" you in my last post. I try to be funny by capping on people's names or nom de plumes and am quite sorry for the one I stuck on you. My bad. I am sorry for it.

I never meant to state that you called anybodies work trash, I was referring to another post in my head and wrote it and sent it before it was fully developed (if there is such a thing) and posted it without proofreading it in your shoes.

I humbly apologize and hope you can see fit to not hate me for my mistake?

HOPE THAT'S GONNA FICKS IT!!!D.G.

Dear Bill Mark,

I've had the unique opportunity to read some scripts by several writers here that "seem to know" what they're talking about, yet, nothing is further from the truth!!!

At AZ, once you're in, the possibilities are pretty much up to you. If you have the desire to work and network with over 13,000 different people from all over the world - mostly people that have the same goal in mind - tell 'em a story and make 'em cry/laugh/think - with the chance of actually getting somewhere, then AZ is the place.

If you don't have the desire, then you don't. Easy.

Personally, I'd like to read your stuff.

I love to read. It's what's kept my sanity in a little jar behind the boulder in the back of the cave.

MMMM, READING, GO, GOOD!!!D.G.

Dear, dearer, dearest, Steven the K!!!

If you need some help, let me know!

It's gotta be tough to constantly pray, not to mention what it does to our knees!!

Take a break and I'll see your tomorrow at the old "office"!!!

Earth is my shepherd, let me go forth into green pastures and fill my cup with the pleasures life has to offer and help those who aren't helping themselves.

GOT NO WANTS TO HOLD ME UP!!!D.G.

HEY SCALDING WOULDA/COULDA/SHOULDA!!!

Yes. It's acceptable. As long as you don't actually say it to his face, like if he's STILL behind the door pushing!

GOT OWIE ON TOEY!!!D.G.

HEY MS. A.MOYE'???

If YOU're so freaking egotistical, why don't YOU just tell us WHO YOU REALLY ARE???

GOT DIBS ON UN-FAMOUS SIBS!!!D.G.

HEY YOU ... SHEESH!!!

What's that saying about not being able to see the forest through the trees?

Jesus IS an agent!!!

God's the Procuer!!!

GET ready for YOUR CLOSE-UP!!!

GOTTA KNOCK STRIKES OUTTA DA PAWK!!!D.G.

HEY YOU ... SHEESH!!!

What's that saying about not being able to see the forest through the trees?

Jesus IS an agent!!!

God's the Producer!!!

GET ready for YOUR CLOSE-UP!!!

GOTTA KNOCK STRIKES OUTTA DA PAWK!!!D.G.

DEAR, DEER, ASHEN!!!

Well, perchance to dream a piece of your puzzle ...

... Alas, Ye doth protest quite quickly, (and loud?) for one who is maybe as well heeled as she is documented as nothing but ... her extraordinary SELF!!!

KNOT GONNA FUEL MOI!!!D.G.

HEY CRAIGSTIRRED2GREATNESS!!!

That's beautiful MAN!!! So eloquently simple!!! Breathing is success!!!

NOT GONNA HUFF & PUFF KNOW MOOR!!!D.G.

HEY MS. HEAR-HERE!!!

I HEARD that! I love to see so many talented sibs working in the same industry. It softens my heart.

It gets even mushier when it's Aunties & Uncles & Fahdda's & Muddah's lil slap in the fanny, prepelling them to glitzy-greatness!!!

PEG IN MY HEART!!!D.G.

I just love you all so much, that it's producing diamonds deep down in the the ground, where she churns and roils, sleeps and toils, til she spews new life toward the heavens.

When YOU wake up breathing = SUCCESS!!!

KEEP GOING!!!D.G.

HEY B-DAY BOYZ IN B-DAY ZOOTS!!!

As Writers, it is often necessary to imagine ...

... Adam Sandler may be the one they've been waiting for - his sense of humor has stolen through the night and made millions and millions of saddie, HAPPY's!!!!

Happy Birthday America!!!

He HAS a rose!!!

P.S. God blesses us all with heartbeats. The choice is ours, as to what we do with each one. Your God is not about reciprocation, it loves you more than you can ever "re-pay". God may not be bought - but is often "sold" by those attempting to bribe the creator for a slot in heaven - when it's right under your feetsies!!!

GOTTA ANT I KANT SCRATCH!!!D.G.

In the holy name of Breath,

In the holy time of Love,

We had the world and the stars above

But they said it wouldn't last.

They said, "This will not pass!"

The had Eden, in simple terms,

Now they "converse" with worms.

In the name held within,

That's when we begin,

To meet and love your mirror-man

And convince your love at hand,

"It's me I love and YOU above!"

Tha's the only Truth you need,

To go forth and plant your seed.

---ANON

(text drawn on the wall of a cave in the western slope of the Sierra Nevadas)

God gave this life to us so we can follow our heart's desire ...

... Those who choose not to ...

... GOTTA KEEP COMING BACK!!!D.G.

P.S. Happy Birthday America(ns)!!!

WOW!!!

That is SO reflective!!!

GOTTA THANK OUR SPARKY!!!D.G.

HEY ANDJ NOTBEHOLDING!!!

To eschew any further association at AZ because of a sour "chat" experience, is not only defeatist, it's chicken!

And, I'd be willing to bet that your Prof, who told you to be careful how much you pitch and to whom, has had some sour experiences as well.

Those experiences are legendary and anyone in the business will recite different episodes, chapter and verse. They happen to everyone in the industry from one day to the next. It's part of the system - everybody steals from everyone else.

If you've got the U.S. Copyrights, that's all you need to protect your works from theft. If you care to spend thirty dollars as a Non-WGA writer, who pays to register their works w/the WGA, the works are also on the record for five years. You don't have to be a member to utilize the service. Just willing to fork over the dinero.

It's unfortunate you got into a chat that torqued your pique. Personally, I've only used the "Chat" on two occasions - Academy Award Nights. NOW, that's a CHAT!!!

GOTTA GET YER STUFF OUT THERE!!!D.G.

HEY MARK EWE INGORNANT SULT!!!

My humble suggestion is to NOT submit your work at AZ!!!

At least not until you've wracked your spellchecker's brains to the limit.

What if the Pro-Reader's had your proclivity for reading?

Ooops! They do Already!!

EWELL GET MS. GIVING's HEAVE HO!!!D.G.

HEY OUR MANFRED GODFREY!!!

So, it's a total crap shoot?

You mean everyone with a movie in their head is woefully lacking in what it takes to get produced?

What about all those stories we hear about deals on napkins?

What about all the writer's who DO have what it takes, but through no fault of their own, weren't born into a family with ties?

What about all those dreamers, schemers and cavemen who actually saw the light and wrote scripts according to that vision?

Do they all just chuck it in and fall by the wayside, never to pursue the vision that's driven them to write a readable screenplay with all the right moves?

Will the script get produced that makes every critic happy?

GOTTA A HUMMING DYNAMO!!!D.G.

HEY YOU SCRIBBLERS & NIBBLERS!!!

You document your works officially by getting them copyrighted, even though the law specifically states that it already is the moment you write it! (For fifty years after you're dead!)

As for someone stealing my thoughts and ideas ... that's why I put them out there!!!

I HOPE AND PRAY THAT HAPPENS!!!

If ONE person takes an idea I wrote about and makes it HER or HIS own AND THEY get it produced and out in the mass consciousness, then my job is completely successful and I have done what I set out to do - and will continue to do.

If I touch a common nerve that others can identify with and act upon, then I write those ideas from everyday experiences - that are part and parcel of a common understanding - Then my hope of changing the bullshit notion of running things into the ground explodes into an upsurge of emotion, that may get the ball rolling toward actually doing something to help save mankind, the planet and our sanity.

I don't care a fig if someone "steals" my stuff, because it was already "out there", amongst yourselves - gestating, incubating and spewing forth like so much molten land, forming the new and improved foundations for all of us to work, love and play upon, while not having to hurt anybody.

SURE!!! Call me a dreamer!!! We're all dreamers!!!

GOT KNOW STRINGS TO HOLD ME UP!!!D.G.

HEY EWE KIN CALL 'EM J.!!!

That's not irony, as you are a splendiferous speller, it's a simple mistake!!!

YOU GOTTA BE HUMANE!!!D.G.

HEY OUR MAN FREDO!!!

"Sorry for taking them individually, but I didn’t have time to write a comprehensive, answer-it-all single response."

You never have to say you're sorry to me, unless you hurt my family, then it'd behoove you to.

-So, it's a total crap shoot?

"IF you CAN’T write... yes."

WHAT? Even if YOU CAN WRITE, it is!!!

"To get it produced??? This has nothing to do with writing abilities… but rather with producing abilities."

Um, excuse me? Doesn't it have to be a commercially viable entity - such as in a script that rocks someone's world?

" It is far easier to produce --and for that matter, to direct-- a movie then to write one."

Um, excuse me? I wonder what Francis and Martin and Ron have to say about that?

" In fact, if you are really good with sound design and can come up with cool shot sequences, then you can actually make a completely watchable film out of a crappy script. It happens all the time... but it will usually not gross over a 100 million (and PLEASE leave the Blair Witch Project out of this)."

Um, yeah, we know. But the percentage of films that gross over 1oo mill are the exception, no?

-What about all those stories we hear about deals on napkins?

"Urban legends. It’s all part of the mythmaking machine."

Oh, REALLY? Wow, so many myths, so many deals ... ah, well, what do I know, I am simply a caveman with no contacts, no prospects and only a modicum of pictures drawn on the walls of my humble abode to amaze and astound the masses of tourists who flock through on their way to Yosemite.

-What about all the writer's who DO have what it takes, but through no fault of their own, weren't born into a family with ties?

" It is estimated that there are only about 50 writers that can actually write a shootable screenplay from scratch... 50!!! ...and a few just died recently."

Wow! Nice figures!! Unfortunately, I doubt the veracity of that "estimate", as there certainly are at least 51, now that we've weeded out all the dead wood.

" All the millions and millions of other people writing CANNOT DO IT. It is that simple."

On this point I agree, at present. But I do believe that given the time and desire, they're all elligible! As elligible as YOU or I!!!

-What about all those dreamers, schemers and cavemen who actually saw the light and wrote scripts according to that vision?

"What about them? Writing is about the only activity that you can’t will yourself to be good at."

EXCUSE ME??? What question were you answering there? What about Hemingway? He practically plagiarized MARTHA GELLHORN'S entire life and forced himself to "rite gud"!!! If that alone isn't tacit proof that YOU can will yourself to be a "good" writer, then there is no hope for ANY aspiring writer, forever after...

-Do they all just chuck it in and fall by the wayside, never to pursue the vision that's driven them to write a readable screenplay with all the right moves?

"They ARE already falling by the wayside… because the point is not to write a "readable" screenplay. If it only were that easy! The point is to write an innovative, breathtaking, WELL CONSTRUCTED story that can be shot into a movie for millions to enjoy."

Yeah, you're "right". Nobody doing that around here!

"People don’t go to the theatre to go see "watchable" films (for that they wait until it comes out on video). They go because they simply must see that movie NOW... because it promises to be that good!"

Is that so? Peer pressure and social angst have nothing to do with that, of course. "You haven't seen it? How un-cool!"

" ... (but of course, few movies nowadays actually deliver on that)."

Unless, they show butt, of course!

-Will the script get produced that makes every critic happy?

"No. The actual reason things get produced is truly bizarre and most of the times have nothing to do with the script itself."

Is that right? Well, I may just go pee in someone elses Cheerios, now that I know that. Maybe THAT will work, since my story sense is so woefully lacking?

Thanks Manfy, for all your answers to my queries! I hope all your projects come up smelling like roses and you do what you came here to accomplish!!!

GONNA GO GET GRILLED!!!D.G.

HEY YOU SAMMY SLAMMERS!!!

I have personally tossed a script of mine onto SEAN PENN'S doorstep and circled for hours until it was gone.

If he read it, he hasn't replied, but if you see him in a movie that resembles THE QUIET KILLER, I wrote that!

As for I AM SAM, well, let's just say this ...

... It's nice to know they found Dustin Hoffman's clothes and characterizations during that two hour STARBUCK'S COMMERCIAL!!!

... AND ...

My brother's band plays the REVOLUTION cover on the soundtrack CD.

GO GET WON!!!D.G.

HEY YOU W/DA FACE!!!

Did you ever have an instant inspiration turn into a complete story?

A moment that turned the next several years of your life into a seemingly never-ending road, where all the mangers were full and the doors slammed shut in your face, yet you kept on going?

Yes? That's because you have vision.

No? That's because you seek vision.

Maybe? That's because you are vision.

GOT IMMEASURABLE PLEASURABLES!!!D.G.

HEY MONFREDERICKO!!!

"So… instead focus your energy on making it a fun read (at least I would)."

As opposed to creating a piece that's just readable?

EWE GOT MOI GOING BWAH-HAH-HAH!!!D.G.

P.S. Pat M. gave me permission to use that.

OH! ANOTHER THING!!!

If Steve & Martin's new property is anything like the works I pitched them, then I WROTE THAT ONE TOO!!!

GOT ONE OUT THERE!!!D.G.

HEY YOU PRO-STATUTES!!!

So, what about the money?

When you do happen to find that diamond in the rough, how hard do you screw the newby?

Does he or she get a crack at rewrites?

What if this newby's got what it takes and then some? Does your boss still screw him/her, even though it'll put the kibosh on a budding romance with the newbies large library of works?

Considering the fact that over 200 movies are made each year, isn't it possible to hit a homerun every now and then?

That's what started the "GOLD RUSH".

The dream, the will, the execution.

It took Jane Campion 20 years to get her vision of THE PIANO on the silver screen!!!

ALL WEIGHS GO W/YER GUTZ!!!D.G.

HEY CRAIGLY & OUR MAN FREDERICCO!!!

You guys are GONNA be in SO MUCH TROUBLE, when your bosses find out you let my stuff slip right through your slippery little fingers and that it's practically golden!!!

GO 4TH & STILL MULTIPLY x FINI!!!D.G.

And ANOTHER THING!!!

The .pdf page breaks were messed up at my website, so, if you have the desire, inclination, or a far seeing/thinking capability to GO THERE & DO THAT, then wait for the new, properly aligned .pdf's or simply e-mail me and I'll send a high HARD ONE right at you, personally.

GOT MULCT???D.G.

What??? Neal doesn't know how to delete like all the other "thieves"?

Well, at least the story's out there, in some sort of incarnation!!!

GONNA BE HAPPY WIDDAT!!!D.G.

DOUG GOAN - Casts his 1/4 oz. Panther Martin with a gold flasher, black body w/yellow spots into the front of a pool in an Alpine stream. He lets the current do it's thing - WHAM! A huge German-Brown Trout attacks the lure and the dance is on!

LIGHTENING - THUNDER CLAP!!!

D.G. - Thanks God!

FADE OUT

HEY HEAR HERE THERE!!!

As I've stated, you will experience the good the bad and the ugly a AZ. What's life? A string of good, bad and ugly.

What if it was profitable to you to read and review another's script. Is that something that might interest you?

Getting paid to play? Hmmm?

EWE CAN GET AWARE FROM THERE!!!D.G.

HEY NOPE & DOPE!!!

That's NOT funny!

Massaging egos is.

GET THAT GOODFELLOW FEELING!!!D.G.

HEY ALL YOU MOVERS & SHAKERS!!!

Serendipity is where YOU find it!

What if a fellow scribe offered 1/8th of 1%, per million, of his profits on a script (he or she wrote on spec) and it actually sold with the help of some other very talented writers; Who got together and provided that script with the coverage it needed to get "upstairs" and bought?

Will those talented others take the contract for future earnings on the specific story for their valuable help and insight?

LET'S GIVE IT A TRY!!!D.G.

(What else you got going?)

HEY MITCHELINI!!!

Yeah, like capitalism isn't scaring the crap out of everyone this instant!!!

"Ooooh, I gotta make a buck fast!"

"Ooooh, I gotta waste more than a family of four!"

"Ooooh, (HONK) get outta my Beemer's way!"

NO FEAR GETS YOU BROKE!!!D.G.

LORD HIGH CULVERT - What do you think?

SOLIERI - Hmmmm? Too many notes, I think.

LORD HIGH CULVERT - Yes! That's it! Too many notes!

(W/My apologies to "Voofie")

GOTTA FLOW JOE!!!D.G.

HEY YOU POSING AS POSTERS!!!

"What is a good writer?"

GOTTA THINK YOU'RE ONE!!!D.G.

HEY MORALGAMI!!!

BLESS YER HELP-FULLNESS!!!

She's reading each word and gleaning your helpful observations, for that which will jumpstart her career - just like everybody else here!

You are cherished by many, many here, so, please understand that you've helped a GREAT MANY!!!

YOU GET NUTTIN' BUTT KUDOS!!!D.G.

NOTE TO: Lori BE!!!

Reciprocation is not expected but acknowledgement goes a LONG WAY!!!

As for not getting responses? Well, my goodness MS. B??? Haven't YOU been reading the local "Pro-Readers"???? They specifically state all our works are shit unless they are handed to the powers that be ... upstairs!

So, if you know someone that works upstairs, contact them and take them to a movie ... YOURS!!!

Otherwise, network, network, network for those upstair connections, as your query, script or treatment ends up underneath the script the Pro Readers just got tossed back, with thier nom de plume' with a red line through it and the scribbled admonition,

"Never send me this idiot's shit again!"

GET IN ON THE DV REVOLUTION!!!D.G.