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Messages posted since 08/29/2014

Topic: Can I read your scripts?

Author: Graham Manson Posted: 07/16/09 06:35 AM

Don't get excited, I'm just another writer like you. I'd like to read some contest winning scripts or ones that have received a 'RECOMMEND' from Barb, particularly those that have scored well on subtext ( my weak point it seems ). I'd like to get an idea of the standard I have to aspire to, as well as see how other people format their scripts. I can't offer anything in return... only my gratitude. If you don't wish to post them on the site you could email a pdf to Thanks in advance, Graham.

Author: Irin Evers Posted: 07/17/09 10:36 AM

You can read my family adventure one (Barb gave it a recommend, it just won Feeding Frenzy), but as far as subtext - although Barb gave it a "Y", she also said "Very little - okay for this age group". So not sure if this helps. But email me ( if you're interested.

Author: Graham Manson Posted: 07/18/09 03:06 PM

Great, thanks Irin. I look forward to it.

Author: Harvey Shapiro Posted: 07/19/09 12:37 AM

Graham, you sound like a sucker. you shouldn't pay so much atention to what "Barb" the perverbial guru of nobody knows what.... and just write from your own heart. What else matters to you? The point is, nobody knows nothing yet people try in vain to translate what other people think as being important of good or even "great." The thing is, what's important to every human being on the planet, regardless of language or predispisition to political party, is the freak'n heart and what it means. Hell, I'd bet there's more going on in your own heart than what you're letting on - and there's probably a story worth gold in there somewhere if you'd only get out of your own freakn' way. Advice: another person's success should not become a cruth in which you immitate their manner of approach. This advice will cost you nothing, and you may gain everything from it if you catch what I'm saying.

Author: Irin Evers Posted: 07/19/09 11:34 AM

I totally agree in that no one should tell you what to write. But I think Graham just wants to look at some scripts that are (supposedly) well done in the way that a great painter goes to a museum and looks at how the masters did it so that he can incorporate something into his own style. Whenever I write a script, I read similar scripts or get films on Netflix to see how other writers approached these plot problems and characters. I don't copy them, but I'm trying to see what worked and what didn't.

Author: Cat Bistransin Posted: 07/25/09 10:29 AM

Reading a well-done SP is an excellent way to learn, in particular formatting, structure and story-telling.

Reading bad scripts is another way. I highly recommend Triggerstreet for this.

It is more than discourteous to take swipes at Barb. She is well-respected for a reason.


Author: Paula Smith Posted: 07/25/09 03:09 PM

If you want to read really good scripts I would suggest There are many that have won an Oscar and/or made mucho bucks at the box office. There's a thread somewhere on favorites. Check out American Beauty, Sixth Sense, Basic Instinct, Lethal Weapon, Chinatown, When Harry Met Sally, As Good As It Gets.

Author: Heather Hughes Posted: 07/25/09 03:34 PM


Graham is perfecting his craft. Writing what's in your heart without constantly improving your craft is called journaling:)

I'd also encourge you to be really respectful of Barb. I'm working with a producer right now who submits all of my scripts to studio coverage and Barb lines up almost 100% with the coverage he gets back. Now I run them by her first to fix the holes that I know he'll hear about from the studio.


Author: Harvey Shapiro Posted: 07/25/09 04:20 PM

You called me out, Heather. I dunno Barb and was probably just having a bad day.

Author: Eric Sentell Posted: 07/25/09 05:03 PM

You have a lot of those, don't ya, Harvey?

You people keep forgetting that this is a public board. The mud you sling will most likely land back on you. Don't forget that Hollywood is a small town.

Author: Harvey Shapiro Posted: 07/25/09 11:51 PM

I applogized earlier for being possibly disrepectful toward someone of whom I know nothing about (Barb). Heather also had a good point, which is that if you "only" write from your heart, that's journalism. My point, however, remains. you shouldn't be overly-concerned for any one person's perspective because you basically cannot please everyone. After learning your craft, you should put it to its fullest use by writting from your heart. That's where the "real" stories are found. That's just what I think. Without the mud.

Author: Heather Hughes Posted: 07/26/09 01:46 AM

Hey, Harvey,

I didn't call it "journalism" I called it journaling - ie keeping a diary.

I do agree with you that it isn't wise to be overly concerned with one person's opinion. In fact the best advice I ever got regarding feedback was if a comment makes no sense to you you should discard it. When you hear the same feedback from several people then you should listen to it. So you have my support on that.

My main objection to you comments was calling Graham a sucker. He is getting advice and growing as a writer which is an excellent thing. Let's not beat people up for that.

No hard feeling I hope.


Author: Harvey Shapiro Posted: 07/26/09 09:40 PM

Hey Graham,

I don't think you're a sucker. I wish you all the luck in the world with your screenwritting.



Author: Graham Manson Posted: 07/28/09 06:34 PM

No problem at all Harvey.

And thanks for the suggestions everyone. Appreciated.

Author: Mike McGeever Posted: 08/01/09 02:18 AM

My favorite recent example of subtext in a script is THE DARK KNIGHT, where most of the Bruce Wayne scenes bristle with subtext. Look at the scene where Bruce Wayne and Havey Dent have dinner with Rachel.

Harvey: "Is Wayne Manor even inside the city limits?

Subtext: Does a millionaire playboy really have anything to with Gotham in any serious way? OR Is Batman even a part of our community?

BRUCE WAYNE: I'm suprised at you, Harvey. As District Attorney I thought you'd know where your jurisdiction ended.

SUBTEXT: Harvey has no jurisdiction over Bruce Wayne, or Batman. Also, he's crossing the line (moving outside his "jurisdiction") by sleeping with Rachel, Bruce's /Batman's love.

Good luck, Graham! Mike

Author: Graham Manson Posted: 08/12/09 05:50 PM

Have only just seen your message. Thanks, Mike - mighty fine examples, Graham.

Author: Mike McGeever Posted: 08/13/09 04:54 AM

You can also have visual subtext. In the first shot of Rick in CASABLANCA he's playing chess by himself. Odd, but it has tons of subtext revealing the character: at war with himself, lonely, intellgent, strategic, without a worthy opponent in Casablanca, one move ahead, etc.

Author: Alex Holston Posted: 08/13/09 11:37 AM

Who's Barb?

(Genuine enquiry)

Author: Jean Hunter Posted: 08/13/09 11:56 PM

Alex -

Barb Doyon with Extreme Screenwriting.

Barb's coverages are very insightful, fast and inexpensive.

Check out her website for monthly specials and to sign up for her free monthly e-newsletter.

Author: Timothy Jay Smith Posted: 08/14/09 02:46 AM

Alex -

Thanks for asking my question.

(Genuine thanks.)