MAUSOLEUM

“Generally speaking, it is obvious you can write. You have superb vocabulary choices and the verbs and adjectives you use are perfect!

Overall, I loved the action. I loved the merging of the genres. I love that it's all in one location making it cheaper to film and an incentive for producers.

I also love that you have a very limited cast which again makes is easier to finance.

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“Generally speaking, it is obvious you can write. You have superb vocabulary choices and the verbs and adjectives you use are perfect!

Overall, I loved the action. I loved the merging of the genres. I love that it's all in one location making it cheaper to film and an incentive for producers.

I also love that you have a very limited cast which again makes is easier to finance. It was easy to follow the characters and their backstories.

The plot while not innovative was definitely creative. Especially in the climate we are in dealing with pandemics.

Action lines are written well... Troy is a relatable character and I like the idea of having Troy and Nigel (who despise) each other have to work together.

I also like the twist with Nigel... The plot is simple and easy to follow. While is does get complicated I was never lost at any point.

Dialogue was concise. There weren't any long-winded speeches.

The idea is creative and a good concept.

The story was interesting with very little moments when it wasn't action backed.

Most of the format was correct. Very few punctuation or spelling errors.

This is very easy to film and in a great budget for most studios and independent filmmakers.

You did a good job explaining you story, and you have a distinct voice as a writer that is hard to master.”

*****

"I thoroughly enjoyed your script! Excellent writing! Sentences flowed together quite nice, and your gruesome details were... well, just gruesome! Can't even put it into words... Good luck with selling your scripts. I'm impressed with your writing... "

******

"I like the opening, bleak and ominous. Sets the stage appropriately. The writing is excellent. As a reader I really appreciated your ability to give the characters character almost instantly in a brief description and with a few lines. I just really like the idea for the story set in a mausoleum... soldiers, fallen hero, his archrival... It's a little absurd and totally fun. Skillful cutting between characters... I like how you route multiple stories to the stage of our central conflict. Mystery surrounding Talus and his team is good, I like that you drip feed clues about them as we go. I like the standoff when Troy, Mort, and Foster manage to lock themselves in the Mausoleum and Talus and his team out. Nice tension there, one group wants out, the other in & I think you manage to give him a lot of personality for a villain who appears in the last third of the story... I like the ending. Overall: Great premise with good pacing. Action scenes are gripping, and the characters are fun... a very entertaining read."

******

"The opening description of the town has a nice, vivid quality to it. I found the visuals to be one of the strongest elements of the script... The action scenes toward the end flow pretty well... I think you've got the makings of a good supernatural thriller here... "

******

"...the script is good. You have a flair for words... A mausoleum is a creepy place for a horror."

******

"...the script is good... There are some things about it that work really well... Overall, the dialogue is well written."

******

"An entertaining read... "

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BREFNI O'ROURKE is a New York based screenwriter actively marketing all of his materials for possible sale or option. He is the author of more than 50 original feature-length spec screenplays, primarily within the action, suspense-thriller, and horror genres. The "cinematic Brefniverse" includes: 

"The Awning", a supernatural thriller, was a quarterfinalist in the 2023 WeScreenplay Feature contests. It was named a finalist in the 2022 Story Pros International Screenplay Contest and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 6% of discoverable projects. In March of 2023 it made the Red List as the # 8 ranked thriller screenplay.  

"Wake", a psychological thriller, was recognized as a semifinalist in the 2022 Creative World Awards. It was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the Final Draft/Big Break Contest (top 10% of entries) and the American Zoetrope contest. It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 22% of discoverable projects.  

"Descendancy", an action-thriller, was recognized as a Quarterfinalist in the Script Lab - TSL Free Screenplay Contest 2022 and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 18% of discoverable projects.  

"Moving Day", a supernatural thriller, was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the 2015 Final Draft/Big Break Contest.  It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 34% of discoverable projects. 

"Panopticon", an action-thriller, was selected as a "Notable Project" by Amazon Studios (one of only 50 projects recognized as such).   

"God's Work", a supernatural action thriller was optioned by The Ferla Consulting Group.  

"Threshold", a horror-thriller (cowritten with Elizabeth Rowin and Greg DeRochie) was optioned by Contribution Films. (http://www.contributionfilms.com/threshold.html). 

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