The MOTORMAN

"Quality of Writing: very good. The subject matter is engaging... pretty much gets to the action soon after it begins... some finely carved characters... I think the plot was interesting and you worked it out quite well, between the present and revealing bits and pieces of the past when necessary... a very solid script. I like the way everyone on the train is supposed to be somewhere else.

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"Quality of Writing: very good. The subject matter is engaging... pretty much gets to the action soon after it begins... some finely carved characters... I think the plot was interesting and you worked it out quite well, between the present and revealing bits and pieces of the past when necessary... a very solid script. I like the way everyone on the train is supposed to be somewhere else. They all have this thing they're desperately trying to get to, i.e., courthouse for child custody, art show, business meeting, etc. Gives added depth to the characters. They're not just filler. They all have a purpose. Overall, I think you've got a fine script here and I sincerely hope it finds its place in Hollywood in the near future."

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"I'm a horror fan, and The Motorman did not disappoint! The script more than fulfills horror prerequisites while, at the same time, putting a new spin on the 'masked killer' subgenre. There were so many aspects of this script which worked well for me: The setting - claustrophobic, believable - I like that its in NY - I'm British but I felt familiar and comfortable in the environment. The mythology - it's an interesting device, the African spiritual altar, and you keep the theme nice and consistent throughout the story. The characters - I've got a few things to say aout the characters but when they work, they really work - Toby was very well-drawn and made a great hero... you know your horror movie staples! By the way, great ending - I like that the motorman himself is a 'monster' who can change identity, and you skillfully weave together your various plot strands. Such importance is put on discovering the identity of the killer in slasher movies that, in this instance, it was refreshing to see a different take on that. The story kind of reminded me of a mix of Candyman and Mimic. It was taut and exciting and actually quite intriguing in terms of the heritage you draw from in creating the world of the NY underground... good job."

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"A lean, straight-to-the-point horror thriller with some solid military action thrown into the 3rd act for a nice change-up. Vivid descriptions, well-paced, albeit follows the traditional conventions of the genre quite faithfully... some good twists... Solid, matter of fact dialogue... Great opening imagery, contrasting the backstory with modern day NYC... Great to see a spectre in a horror film have complex, conflicting emotions... This is a fast tight script... Pretty poignant and honest for a horror film... Kudos. Enjoyed it!"

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"...great story man, created a lot of intrigue and I wanted to keep on reading to find out what happened... I like the history settings... kind of a unique story that way... Gets pretty visicous too... I write death scenes as well but yours were kinda cool, sudden ones were good, nice timing. I like that concept of past lives and an historic event all tied in. The action was good, stuck on a carriage, people dying all around. The motorman is an evil one, Quite like the concept of him. Your pacing was good... a good mix of characters... kept me reading."

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"Overall, you have a very fast paced, energetic story that has a lot of potential."

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BREFNI O'ROURKE is a New York based screenwriter actively marketing all of his materials for possible sale or option. He is the author of more than 50 original feature-length spec screenplays, primarily within the action, suspense-thriller, and horror genres. The "cinematic Brefniverse" includes: 

"The Awning", a supernatural thriller, was a quarterfinalist in the 2023 WeScreenplay Feature contests. It was named a finalist in the 2022 Story Pros International Screenplay Contest and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 6% of discoverable projects. In March of 2023 it made the Red List as the # 8 ranked thriller screenplay.  

"Wake", a psychological thriller, was recognized as a semifinalist in the 2022 Creative World Awards. It was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the Final Draft/Big Break Contest (top 10% of entries) and the American Zoetrope contest. It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 22% of discoverable projects.  

"Descendancy", an action-thriller, was recognized as a Quarterfinalist in the Script Lab - TSL Free Screenplay Contest 2022 and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 18% of discoverable projects.  

"Moving Day", a supernatural thriller, was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the 2015 Final Draft/Big Break Contest.  It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 34% of discoverable projects. 

"Panopticon", an action-thriller, was selected as a "Notable Project" by Amazon Studios (one of only 50 projects recognized as such).   

"God's Work", a supernatural action thriller was optioned by The Ferla Consulting Group.  

"Threshold", a horror-thriller (cowritten with Elizabeth Rowin and Greg DeRochie) was optioned by Contribution Films. (http://www.contributionfilms.com/threshold.html). 

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