CONNECTING FLIGHT

"I picked this up as the logline drew me in as there looked to be quite a fair bit packed into this.  Time-space disaster, operating in a sort of parallel realm of reality, something dark in the protagonist's path which has been bothering him, all in an airport terminal... I was intrigued by the setting, and I think you made a good choice. I find airport terminals quite disorientating place, personally, with crowds of people all going in different directions and soon to be displaced right across the world! This story has a similarly disorientating effect.

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"I picked this up as the logline drew me in as there looked to be quite a fair bit packed into this.  Time-space disaster, operating in a sort of parallel realm of reality, something dark in the protagonist's path which has been bothering him, all in an airport terminal... I was intrigued by the setting, and I think you made a good choice. I find airport terminals quite disorientating place, personally, with crowds of people all going in different directions and soon to be displaced right across the world! This story has a similarly disorientating effect...

I like how you have the characters change throughout the script... This gives the characters a multi-dimensional feel and makes them more realistic as this reflects people in real life - we change and evolve.

Concerning theme, the strongest one that came out to me was around needing to forgive before you can move on. This is obviously the Rollie-Theo dynamic.

Plot pacing was strong - there was certainly always something going on... I like how this combines drama, science fiction, comedy and romance. It feels like you have a real arsenal of different things going on here. "

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“To start, your logline is quite intriguing and sets up the mood and genre of the film pretty well. It's eye catching. I also thought you made some good formatting decisions... I also thought your action descriptions were particularly good, an example is on page 28 when you write ''Rollie staggers down the tiled length, approaches the 4B Departure Gate, where the group is gathered like a hung jury, eyeing him with reproach.'' Not too wordy, good choice of words and incisive...

The opening comes across as well researched. I sense your confidence in writing it. It makes a good promise to the reader that the writer has a particular vision in mind and that the read will be well worth it...

An ambitious concept that explores quantum mechanics and its (speculative) effects. The topic of quantum computing comes up a bit as the central focus of Rollie's project with Nick and Kirkendal. I applaud the ambition of this concept and do think it holds interesting avenues to explore. Rollie as ''the constant in the equation'' is neat.

The airport as a primary setting that will eventually unravel Rollie's destiny (with his past, present and future colliding) feels right since airports are places of arrival and departure to and from different time zones. I think it's clever. The plot got more interesting to me when Rollie realized the faces at the airport were all from that fateful school trip flashback. It raises obvious questions and kept me guessing how the incident at the lab is tied to this bizarre occurrence.

I found your introductory character descriptions visual, descriptive and overall solid for example when you write ''PROFESSOR MELVIN KIRKENDAL, 65, stodgy, bespectacled man of science, reason, and integrity''. I can clearly imagine what kind of character the Proffessor is from that.

Destiny and fate are clear themes in your piece. These themes are pretty apt considering how they intertwine with quantum mechanics, superpositions of electrons/waves, the observer effect and more speculative scientific ponderings like alternate realities, string theory, etc.”

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BREFNI O'ROURKE is a New York based screenwriter actively marketing all of his materials for possible sale or option. He is the author of more than 50 original feature-length spec screenplays, primarily within the action, suspense-thriller, and horror genres. The forthcoming "cinematic Brefniverse" includes:  

"Wake", a psychological thriller, has been recognized as a semifinalist in the 2022 Creative World Awards. It was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the Final Draft/Big Break Contest (top 10% of entries) and the American Zoetrope contest. It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 22% of discoverable projects.  

"The Awning", a supernatural thriller, has been named a quarterfinalist in the 2023 WeScreenplay Feature contest.  It was named a finalist in the 2022 Story Pros International Screenplay Contest and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 14% of discoverable projects.   

"Descendancy", an action-thriller, was recognized as a Quarterfinalist in the Script Lab - TSL Free Screenplay Contest 2022 and has been awarded a Coverfly badge of - Top 18% of discoverable projects.  

"Moving Day", a supernatural thriller, was recognized as a quarterfinalist in the 2015 Final Draft/Big Break Contest.  It has been awarded a Coverfly badge of being among the top 34% of discoverable projects. 

"Panopticon", an action-thriller, was selected as a "Notable Project" by Amazon Studios (one of only 50 projects recognized as such).   

"God's Work", a supernatural action thriller was optioned by The Ferla Consulting Group.  

"Threshold", a horror-thriller (cowritten with Elizabeth Rowin and Greg DeRochie) was optioned by Contribution Films. (http://www.contributionfilms.com/threshold.html). 

“Smith Corona Blues”, an action thriller, was selected for Ken Mora’s Screenplay Theatre, “The Best Movies You’ll Ever Hear.” 

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