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The Cemetery Plots

In this dark comedy, three elderly and wealthy ladies each purchase two expensive cemetery plots. Years earlier, their husbands had disappeared in a plane crash. Their bodies were never found. The women don’t want to be buried alone. Thus, begins their quest to find men willing to be buried next to them.

A Dark Comedy. Three wealthy, elderly ladies, CORA WILY, UNIS PROSAIC, AND GLADYS PUMPHANDLE, don’t want to be buried alone, so they each purchase two cemetery plots and begin to look for a man to bury in their second plot.

Three successful men die in an airplane crash in the mountains of Alaska. Their bodies were unfound. Years later their seventy-year-old widows are still living in South Laguna Beach, California. The three women, CORA WILY, UNIS PROSAIC, and GLADYS PUMPHANDLE, are good friends and have made an exciting and vital decision. When their time comes, they don’t want to be buried alone. They want a man in the grave next to them, to share the everlasting. They invite a salesman to their home. This man is selling cemetery plots to the new Sunny View Cemetery located near South Laguna Beach. Later, while visiting the cemetery, they each decided to purchase two expensive cemetery plots.

Then the three ladies begin their quest to find a man, without any family, to accept burial in their second cemetery plot. Over the next few weeks, they attend a convention, socials, and festivals looking for the right men. One by one, the ladies are successful in finding eligible men who agree to their proposal. However, problems arise after the men sign the agreement papers. Two of the men mysteriously die. The police become suspicious, as they feel these aren’t coincidences. The soon-to-retire, eccentric LIEUTENANT HORACE SLEUTHHAMMER begins an investigation into the men’s deaths. The three ladies profess their innocence. The lieutenant relentlessly proceeds to try and find them guilty of a “crime.”

Script Excerpt
Written by:
Format:
Screenplay
Genres:
Starring Roles For:
Glenn Close
Camryn Manheim
Margo Martindale
In the Vein Of:
Arsenic and Old Lace
Golden Girls
It's a Wonderful Life
Posted:
08/28/2019
Updated:
12/29/2020
Author Bio:
Donahue B. Silvis is an alumnus of the renowned Pasadena Playhouse drama college. He graduated from Florida Atlantic University majoring in film study and creative writing. As a member of Screen Actors Guild (SAG), he has worked in movies as an actor and screenwriter. Donahue has written six novels, four screenplays, and one illustrated children's book. Now retired, he continues writing and promoting his novels and screenplays, while residing in Naples, Florida with his wife, Katie.

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Contest Results:
ScreenCraft Comedy (Quarterfinalist) [2019]