Business student with big Wall Street ambitions is phished into taking a summer job at a failing home repair company.

COREY WELLMAN is an underachieving business student, a doctor's son who nurses conquering hero fantasies of making it big in Wall Street.

As his friends land hot summer internships, Corey has had no offers. But at last he gets an email from a hotshot "boutique" investment house in San Francisco, "Landau & Associates." At last Corey can prove to his family and friends that he is as smart as his younger brother, a insufferable budding gastroenterologist.

But when Corey arrives in San Francisco, waiting to pick him up is a redneck ex-con named HAP McCLOUD, driving a decrepit van full of Taco Bell wrappers and porn magazines.

Corey realizes that he's been phished. But why? "JP Landau Associates" is not an investment bank but a floundering home repair company in the Tenderloin whose owner, Jimmie Landau, thinks getting a business whiz on board will turn the company around.

About to leave the ramshackle office in in disgust, Corey notices the receptionist, SKYE, a hard luck former runaway who dreams of being a cabaret singer.

After she taunts him with his snobbery, Corey decides that, rather than confess to his family and friends, he will hang out in SF for a while.

Corey soon reveals that he doesn't know much about running a real business. So Jimmie sends him out with the colorful crew of ex-cons, drag queens, illegal immigrants and misfits.

To Corey's surprise, he begins to learn how to do things with his hands --- and discovers a different set of values than his own greedy, narrow ambitions.

A romance blossoms between Corey and Skye, who calls him on his self-deceptions.

But when Corey's crush, AIMEE (gorgeous and avaricious: "There is no worse place on earth than middle management.") arrives in town with a few douchebag buddies, Corey reverts to his old self.

To avoid being exposed as a handyman apprentice, Corey, in a moment of weakness, decides to try to pass off the crew as investment bankers, startup entrepreneurs and hedge fund managers. He invites Aimee and her friends to a party in the high-rise apartment of a clueless client who is on vacation.

Corey tries to school the crew in how to pose as millionaire venture capitalists, angel investors and other financial whizzes. The hoax appears to be working. Aimee and her friends are impressed by the team, who rise heroically to the occasion.

But when a scuffle results in a broken pipe, the "financiers" have to drop their pose and make a dash for their wrenches. Corey's plan falls apart quickly, and Skye is through with him for being a two-timing phony.

Told to pack his bags, Corey makes one last try to win Skye by participating in a charity "Fixathon" in which carpenters from all over town compete to repair a poor family's home.

Corey’s ongoing feud with one of the crew reaches its climax in a fistfight, but in the end, they team up to install the world’s most advanced toilet—the awe-inspiring “remote-controlled, self-cleaning throne commode with pentium bidet, motion sensor, wi-fi, and heatseeking jetspray.”

They save the day for Jimmie with a big new contract from the City, and Corey wins the love of Skye as well as gaining a whole new set of values and skills, and a girl who really loves him.

Script Excerpt
Written by:
Starring Roles For:
Andy Samberg
Young Pretty Girl
Robin Williams type
In the Vein Of:
Risky Business
Liar Liar
The Wedding Crashers
Author Bio:
I'm a produced screenwriter. I graduated from UC Berkeley with a degree in English.

I was just nominated for a 2021 Pushcart Prize in fiction, my second nomination.

I wrote the feature film, Murder in Fashion, about the killing of designer Gianni Versace by serial killer Andrew Cunanan. The film played at theatres and festivals and was reviewed in the NY Times:

I collaborated with producer Don Murphy (Transformers, Natural Born Killers) on the script "Fast Fade" on the life of tragic film noir actress Barbra Payton.

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