Adult Sitcom Mini-Series: Nothing Sacred: Fast Food

Fast Food (Episode 7) Gerbilmania reigns pandemic as Sis takes a nymph neighbor to a sex clinic reunion, little Brother watches porno at home, Mom gets fleeced at a fast food drive-thru, and Dad experiences true "family dining" Aussie Style. One of 7 completed 22-minute tape live/film formatted episodes for limited production. Think "Married ... With Children" if done as "South Park."



Gene Gwynne

WARNING: Not to be read or viewed by social justice warriors, snowflakes, those suffering from delusions, possessing beliefs not based on facts or reason, or hold anything sacred beyond life, liberty, and the pursuit of a good laugh. Written by an equal opportunity satirist. A satirical, surreal rendition of contemporary American middle-class life and society through the antics of a wacko family in a world going mad, where anything is possible.

This dark, scathing adult satire represents a cynical and pessimistic worldview, where nothing is sacred and anything goes. The comedy is bold, daring, absurd, implausible, and sometimes ridiculous to a point of being bizarre, with an emphasis on caricature over character. It is intended to be funny and fun as we view some unsympathetic characters of a society that is politically, ethically, and morally corrupt; void of intellect; thus, representative of a New World Disorder. The satire is not directed against any group, organization, or institution – but toward society in general. No sermons. No preaching. No attempt at social engineering. However, all members and types within society are fair game.

Think Married…With Children if done as South Park or American Dad.


JACK GRUBB – HUSBAND/FATHER (Opportunist/schemer) Cynical, sarcastic, distrusting, and opinionated. Conservative and reactionary in nature. Opposed to the liberal/humanist views espoused by neighbor Teddy Wimple.

JACQUI GRUBB – WIFE/MOTHER (Ditz) Impressionable, believing, gullible, faddish. She goes with the flow.

TERI GRUBB – DAUGHTER/SISTER (Hip/street-savvy) Wisdom through logic and reasoning. Down to Earth.

BOBBY GRUBB – SON/BROTHER (Oaf) Stupid, cruel, lazy. Lacks ambitions or talents of any kind.

GRAMPS – JACK’S FATHER (cantankerous old coot) Hard of hearing. Out of touch with the real world and prefers it that way.

GRANDMA – JACK’S MOTHER (Wise) Unobtrusive, but speaks her mind. Blunt and to the point. Sometimes brash. Perceptive.

TEDDY WIMPLE – NEIGHBOR (Totally naïve) Yuppish. Bleeding-heart liberal. A humanist of good intentions, but not well focused. Doesn’t realize his wife is a nymph.

DELILAH WIMPLE – TEDDY’S WIFE (Nymph) A soiled dove that has found a good nesting place.


THE DROUGHT (PILOT SCRIPT) Complete script available. The family must contend with severe water restrictions imposed upon the public due to a continuing drought. Bobby becomes a DWP stormtrooper. A water-starved neighbor makes a desperate plea for assistance, while the family schemes to meet its own water needs.

ROCK AND DROLL Complete script available. A depiction of a prehistoric Grubb family and neighbors that parallels modern life. (Think - an adult version of The Flintstones)

NUN FOR THE WORST Complete script available. Delilah leaves Teddy to become a nun in a radical order of the Church, and appears on a talk show interview with the rogue priest who heads the order, as Teddy and the Grubbs watch at home. Also, Jack, Gramps, and Teddy visit a strip club.

A GUY … WITH SPIRIT Complete script available Teri arranges a dinner date at home via a computer dating service, and experiences the ultimate blind date when she is matched with a man who is literally out of this world.

LET’S MAKE A STEAL Complete script available. Jack, working as a management consultant, demonstrates some underhanded means of reducing labor costs, then turns the tables on a corrupt executive board.

A MATTER OF BAD TASTE Complete script available. Teri is on a TV show in which men attempt to score with women as sportscasters narrate the action. Bobby, home alone, invites a friend over to watch porno. Jack and Jacqui also end up on TV when, while dining out, they are tagged for a taste-test survey.

FAST-FOOD Complete script available. Gerbilmania reigns pandemic as Sis takes the nymph neighbor to a sex clinic reunion, little Brother watches porno, Mom gets fleeced at a fast-food drive-thru, and Dad experiences true “family dining” Aussie style.

Script Excerpt
Written by:
TV Episode
In the Vein Of:
South Park
American Dad
Married...With Children
Author Bio:
I’ve had representation in the past, but am currently without representation, and am not a WGA member. I’ve attended seminars and classes by most of the screenplay gurus including Field, Segar, Freeman, among others; and attended workshops, classes, and lectures sponsored by The American Film Institute; and the USC Cinema-Television Alumni Association extension program. I was optioned once by a major television producer.